Into Forever

Nothing else mattered except for Fred’s cold hand in mine.

I didn’t hear Ron’s plea’s to move away from the battle; I didn’t feel Harry trying to pull me to my feet; I didn’t see anyone else around me except for Fred’s unmoving body.

Because Fred couldn’t have died; he wasn’t allowed to die. He had to help me fight the Death Eaters; he had to come home with me; he had to hold his children. He needed to be alive, because how could I raise our twins on my own? How could they grow up without their father? How could I live without him?

“Kelsey, we’ve got to move-“

“No,” I rasped, shaking my head as Hermione wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “He’ll get up.”

“Oh Kels…” she whispered.

“Fred,” I said softly, running my fingers down his cheek, pausing at his jaw. “Get up, please, Fred. Please get up.”

“He’s not getting up, Kelsey,” Ron said softly, his voice catching. There were voices from farther down the hall, and a moment later a spell hit the wall above my head.

“We’ve got to move!” Harry cried, getting to his feet in an instant and casting spells down the hall. Hermione joined him, leaving Percy, Ron, and I huddled around Fred.

“Help me move him,” Percy said softly; I’m not sure what I heard in his voice at that moment, but it was enough to break my gaze from Fred. I glanced up at Percy, and anguish swept over me again. There was no other word to describe Percy except for broken. Guilt was swimming in his eyes; I knew he thought it was his fault for distracting Fred. I needed to say something; I needed to tell him that if I had been faster, maybe if I’d stayed next to Fred, I could have done something.

But instead, all that came from me was,

“I’ll get one of his legs.”

Ron and I each took a leg as Percy slid his arms underneath Fred’s, and we slowly moved my fiancé’s body into a small crevice, safely out of the way of the battle. Somewhere around this time, the shouts in the hall died down, and it was just the six –I mean five– of us huddled around Fred’s new resting place.

And then more bloody spells began to hit the walls around us, and Harry grabbed one of my arms and yanked me down.

The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased?

“We need to keep moving,” Harry said, giving us all encouraging nods. “We’ve got a mission.”

It took every ounce of strength I had to turn away from Fred and focus on what Harry was saying. Because he was right; we needed to stop this battle. What if the next person to die was George? Angie? Hermione? Ron? Harry? We couldn’t stand by and do nothing as our friends fought around us. I couldn’t let Fred die for nothing.

Harry got to his feet, and held his hand out to me; with a deep breath, I took it and was pulled to my feet. I couldn’t bear to look back, because if I did, I wouldn’t have been able to move again. I knew Harry, Ron, and Hermione were off to find the last horcrux, and I was set on coming with them this time.

Then suddenly, Percy’s eyes locked onto a man racing down the hall after a group of students, and Percy took off after him, shouting,

“ROOKWOOD!”

I saw Ron lunge forward, and Hermione threw herself at him.

“Ron, no!” Hermione cried, grabbing a hold of the furious ginger. Ron was struggling as best he could to race down the hall after Percy.

“Let me fight! I need to kill them! I need to kill the Death Eaters!” Ron snarled writhing in Hermione’s arms; the same anger and pain swimming through my veins was burning in his eyes.

“Ron, we’re the only ones who can end it! Please, Ron, we need the snake, we’ve got to kill the snake!”

But I knew exactly how Ron felt; pursuing another horcrux could not bring him the satisfaction of revenge. He wanted to fight as well; he wanted to punish them, the people who had killed Fred. He needed, just like I needed, to find the other Weasley’s, to make sure no one else…

And then I saw Antonin Dolohov not even thirty paces down the hall, shooting spell after spell at a group of underage girls who looked as if they’d snuck back into the castle to fight. One of them was hurt badly, and the other two were trying to keep her safe while protecting themselves.

An anger so raw it almost hurt coursed through my body, and I could think of nothing else than exacting my revenge on Dolohov. And I knew I would be no help to the trio, that my fight was needed here, to give the three of them a fighting chance at getting the last horcrux.

“Go,” I told them, feeling my fight returning to my body as I grabbed my wand off the ground and lifted it towards Dolohov. “End the fight.”

I didn’t wait to see what they did; taking a breath, I cried,

“AVADA KEDAVRA!”

The spell hit Dolohov’s wand, knocking it from his hand; he spun on the spot, anger in his eyes. The girls turned and fled, disappearing into the night. Dolohov glanced down at his wand; it was shattered. We stood like that for a few seconds, our eyes locked on one another. And then, Dolohov spun on the spot just as I shot another spell at him. He dodged, snatched a wand that one of the girls had dropped, and then took off down the hall.

He wouldn’t escape me this time.

I tore through the hall, my vision clouded in red. Dolohov was just in front of me, but if I stopped to get proper aim, he’d be gone. I shot spell after spell at him, catching his cloak, or singing his hair, but never stopping him. Down the stairs we raced; he shot spells at unsuspecting students, and it was all I could do to cast shields and keep them safe from the jet of green light that would end them.

In the main entryway, I ran into a minor roadblock. By minor, I meant a group of six death eaters, with Fenrir Greyback in the center as the seventh. Greyback recognized me immediately; his eyes burned with excitement as he lunged for me, knocking me to the ground.

I fell onto my back, bringing my knees to my chest, and then slamming my feet into Greyback’s stomach, sending him flying back into the wall. I was immediately bombarded with six different jets of green light; I rolled to the side, and then scrambled behind a pillar just as the jets shot at me again. With a deep breath, I dove out from behind cover, took aim, and cried,

“Impedimenta!” the shot of silver light broke off into six streaks of white, and each jet hit a Death Eater. Greyback had scampered off somewhere else, and I couldn’t waste time chasing him. On the steps of the school, I spotted Ginny. She had just deflected a nasty spell that came from the darkness, and was standing guard over a group of injured students. I could just make out the form of another Death Eater aiming for Ginny as she turned to deflect a spell.

“Expulso!” I cried, the jet of blue light catching the Death Eater in the chest, knocking him back. Ginny spun towards me, and her face lit up.

“Kelsey, oh thank Merlin you’re alive!” she cried; I couldn’t meet her eyes. “How are the others?”

“Stay safe,” I told Ginny, giving her shoulder a squeeze as I raced past her down the steps. I couldn’t make my lips form the words; I couldn’t tell Ginny now, I couldn’t bear the risk of distracting her from the fight.

I raced across the grounds, shooting spell after spell at the dozens of Death Eaters over the grounds. And I had just caught sight of Dolohov again when the same cold voice as before echoed across the grounds.

“You have fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a lost and waste.”

A sick, sweeping sensation went through me as I thought of Fred.

“Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured.”

And just as I was about to ignore his words and shoot a spell at Dolohov, Voldemort said,
“I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me.”

And then the Death Eaters vanished; I was left cursing by myself on the grass. And in the back of my mind, I thought,

Please, Ron and Hermione, keep Harry with you. Don’t… Don’t let him leave. I know he’s feeling horrible. He doesn’t want anyone to die for him. If you let him go, he won’t come back.

And now the grounds were filled with something worse than Death Eaters; the cries of sadness as they discovered the lifeless bodies of friends and loved ones. Slowly I turned, not sure if I could face more sadness. I spotted a young boy kneeling on the ground, his arms wrapped around a girl I recognized from some of my classes last year. He was alone, sobbing to himself.

“What was her name?” I asked him as I sunk to the ground beside him. The boy didn’t look at me as he whispered,

“Abbie.”

“Your sister?” I prompted, scooting a bit closer. The boy nodded.

“What’s your name?”

“Will,” he said, his voice catching as another sob racked his body.

“I’m Kelsey,” I said quietly.

Gently, I reached out and rested my hand on his. He didn’t pull away, and we sat there for a moment. Then Will turned to me, his brown eyes glazed with tears.

“Can you help me?”

I just nodded, my heart heavy, as together Will and I lifted his sister and carried her towards the castle. Once inside, we moved into the Great Hall, and I sat her gently down off to one side. Part of me wanted to go retrieve Fred, but the rest of me knew that I couldn’t leave Will. Not yet.

“Do you think she was in pain?” Will asked me, sitting down on the floor beside Abbie. I sat next to him, and watched as he took her hand in his.

“No, I don’t think she felt a thing,” I told him, feeling tears beginning to well in my eyes. Will leaned up against my arm, and I tucked him against my side, holding onto him. I had no words for this little boy, because I wasn’t even sure what to say to myself.

I think it was instinct that made me look up at the exact moment Percy and Ron crossed into the Great Hall. My heart stopped beating as I saw the limp form of Fred hanging between them. Will noticed my change, and glanced to where I was looking.

“Do you know him?” he asked me; I nodded.

“He’s my fiancé.”

Will was silent as we both watched Percy and Ron gently lay Fred down. I needed to get up, to go to him, but I just couldn’t…

“It’ll be okay,” Will said quietly. “He’ll never truly leave you. He and Abbie will always be with us.”

I looked down at that little boy –he couldn’t have been more than eleven- and I saw the same sadness and pain in his eyes that I was feeling. But I could also see the determination in his face; he wasn’t giving up, and I wouldn’t either. I slowly got to my feet, feeling much older than eighteen, and gave Will’s shoulder a squeeze. He squeezed back, then nodded to the group of gingers I almost couldn’t bear to face.

George spotted me first; oh, God, the pain in his eyes nearly killed me. Tears were rolling down my face as we stood there, staring at one another. My heart ached as George slowly held up his hand towards me, beckoning me to him. The other Weasley’s looked to where George was staring, and a sob escaped Mrs. Weasley as I slowly moved to George. Our hands met, and he pulled me to him, his arms wrapping around me and hugging me close to his chest.

And then I couldn’t hold back anymore. George’s sobs shook my body as I clung to him, gasping for breath as I cried into his shoulder. We were both hanging onto one another, and eventually we sunk to the ground, unable to stand.

I pulled away from George after a few minutes of uncontrollable sobbing, and turned to Fred. And in those few moments I stared down at him, my fingers running through his bright ginger hair, my forehead pressed to his, I thought of every single moment we’d spent together.

The first time we met; the night he rescued me from my stepdad.

That first summer at the Weasley’s.

Those long nights in the orchard.

Our one and only year at Hogwarts.

The dozens of ways he tried to seduce me.

That fabulous night together after the Quidditch game.

Our days working in the joke shop.

The months when I was pregnant… All the love he gave me..

The birth of our twins… And then the proposal right after…

The last few words exchanged before he would never speak to me again…

We would have no more memories, no more laughs, no more smiles or whispers during the night. He would never hear Cameron’s first words, he’d never make Brielle laugh again. He’d never see the twins’ first steps, their first day at Hogwarts… the years spent learning magic, making friends, growing up, he’d never be there.

And I would have sat there for the rest of my existence, just sitting beside him, my hand in his, wishing for the days we’d never see together, but a voice pulled me out of my fantasy world.

“Kelsey.. there’s… there’s something you need to see,” Ginny was saying, her voice thick from tears. And I couldn’t comprehend what could be so important as to pull me away from Fred, but Ginny was persistent.

“Kels, please, you need to see,” she whispered to me, taking my arm and pulling me to my feet. It seemed everyone else knew too; Mrs. Weasley took one look at me, then sobbed again. George couldn’t even meet my eyes. Ron was giving me such a sympathetic, apologetic look it almost made me want to smack him.

“What?” I demanded, my voice rasping and quivering from my crying. “Why’re you all looking at me like that? What did I do? What’s-“ And as Ginny paused me a few paces away from the Weasley’s, I glanced down, and my words caught in my throat.

My knees buckled, and Ginny just barely managed to catch my weight as I collapsed to the ground. The pain I felt was so raw and powerful, but no tears came this time. I just stared at the two figures in front of me, their hands just an inch apart.

My Uncle Remus looked so peaceful in death; his head was tilted just slightly towards Tonks. They were beautiful together. And now they too were gone from my life.

“Oh Kelsey,” Ginny began, sinking to the ground next to me. And because I hadn’t lost enough, life had to rip more from me.

From outside the great hall, I could hear Neville screaming. And I could just make out the words Harry and dead, and that was enough to rip me from my spot in front of my uncle and race through the crowd that was rushing towards Neville’s voice.

I pushed myself to the front, with Ginny right behind me. I could hear her frantically whispering,

“No, please not Harry, no…”

Just managing to keep my balance, I hurried over the chunks of building scattered about. Neville stood with his back to us, staring at a group of figures advancing towards us. I could see Hagrid right up front, and I could see what looked like a body in his arms. And then I saw him, the tall, pale man with red eyes and a sick smile on his face. He paused, and his followers paused behind him.

Ginny and I took up places beside Neville, both our eyes locked on the same thing.

“Who's Hagrid carrying, Neville?” Ginny asked, a tone of hysteria in her voice. “Neville, who is it?”

“Harry Potter is dead!” Lord Voldemort cried, and his followers let out a victorious laugh.

For the third time that night, anguish and despair swept through me so painfully I could barely breathe, and I probably would have collapsed in sadness if Ginny hadn’t shot forward to go to Harry’s aide. I lunged for her, grabbing her arm and pulling her back as Voldemort shouted,

“Silence!” There was a bang, and I could feel the weight of Voldemort’s spell press down upon me, keeping me quiet as he spoke. Nearly everyone from the Great Hall was on the lawn now, staring in despair as Hagrid lowered Harry’s body to the grass.

“You see?” Voldemort called, striding forward. “Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!”

Anger coursed through me, breaking the hold of the spell.

“He beat you!” I yelled, and behind me, the defenders of Hogwarts roared with agreement. Another loud, more deafening bang than before overtook us, and once again we were forced into silence.

“He was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds,” said Voldemort, but I could hear the lie in his voice. I knew Harry would never abandon us. “He was killed while trying to save himself-“

Neville shot forward towards Voldemort, his wand raised and a spell on the tip of his lips. Before Ginny or I could move, Voldemort hit Neville with a spell that brought him to his knees and sent his wand flying; for a moment, I thought Neville was dead. But no, he was alive and defiant, glowering up at Voldemort.

“I remember you, Neville Longbottom,” Voldemort said, a snide tone in his voice. “You are a pureblood, aren’t you, my brave boy?” Voldemort asked Neville, who had gotten to his feet and was now facing Voldemort, his empty hands curled into fists.

“So what if I am?” Neville asked loudly, his voice breaking the silencing spell.

“You show spirit and bravery, and you come of noble stock. You will make a very valuable Death Eater. We need your kind, Neville Longbottom.”

“I’ll join you when hell freezes over!” Neville spat. “Dumbledore’s Army!” he cried, and we met him with an answering cheer.

“Very well,” Voldemort said, and he raised his wand at Neville. With a rush of fury, I bolted forward, taking up stance beside Neville. Voldemort paused, his eyes raking over me.

“Another volunteer to show the students what will happen if they disobey me?”

“You’ll never hurt another student at Hogwarts again,” I snarled; I didn’t pull out my wand, though. I didn’t want to be disarmed right away.

“And who are you?” Voldemort demanded, his wand lowered just slightly. I had opened my mouth to reply, but a voice from the back of the Death Eaters overshadowed my answer.

“Kelsey Werner.”

I recognized the voice immediately; it wasn’t Dolohov’s voice, but one that I would pick out anywhere. A voice that I hadn’t heard in over a year. And then, from the crowd stepped a man I couldn’t believe I was seeing with my own eyes.

“Your daughter?” Voldemort asked the Death Eater, mild surprise in his voice. I could barely breathe; I couldn’t function. All I could do was stare at my father as his cold, green eyes looked me over.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“She’s got spirit,” Voldemort said snidely, his eyes narrowing as he stared at me. And then I saw the idea sink into his mind. “But I do not require her kind of spirit, and she’s in my way. Werner, it’s time to prove your loyalty to me.”

I knew what was coming a moment before Voldemort said it.

“Kill her.”

The thing that hurt just as much as seeing Fred die right before my eyes was the way my fathers wand was already raised at me, and he’d already shouted Avada Kedavra before Voldemort finished his command.

This time, I wasn’t dreaming. I couldn’t wake up from this nightmare.