Tell Me That You're Mine

I just stood there staring at the closed door for I don't even know how long. Now that he was gone, I let the tears flow freely, not caring because no one was around to see. Eventually I moved back to the living room aand noticed Kendall's flannel still on the couch. Seeing this brought a fresh round of tears. I ran over to it and held it to my chest, sobbing at my pathetic life.
Dramatic much?
I know.
Nevertheless, I walked to my room and crawled under the comforter, still holding onto Kendall's shirt. I just cried until I ran out of tears. The sobbing had ended up giving me a headache and tiring my whole body. I fell asleep clutching his shirt, the tears leaving trails of water down my cheeks.

"Sydney," I was being shook awake. I grunted, my memory came back to me and what had happened hit me again. Hard.
"Stop that." Belle brushed off the few tears that leaked out.
"I'm sorry." I sniffled loudly and Belle made a face. "Why arent you facedown on your bed like me?"
"I was, but I decided that I couldn't let it get me too down." She shrugged, a frown on her face. "Things happen and we have to deal with them. It happened for a reason. He'll come back and it'll be like he never left." She smiled, trying to make me feel better.
It was working.
"So I'm curious." She poked my arm.
"About..?" I said after another large sniffle.
"How about you go take a shower and get cleaned up and then we'll talk." She suggested. I thought about itit and decided a shower would be helpful. Calming.
"Thanks, Belle. You seriously are my best friend oon the planet."
"Well your best friend has lots to dish about so get your butt up and shower." She threw off my comforter and stood off my bed.
"Go." She pointed to the door when i didn't move. I huffed.
"I'm going, mom."

The shower helped. A lot. I put things into perspective, making myself believe that this would workout, and that i should be grateful that the relationship turned out the way it did. I dressed in a plain black vneck and some ripped shorts after I got out of the shower, throwing my hair back in a bun after i brushed through it.
When i got back to my room, Belle was laying on my bebed, her hands folded behind her head and her legs crossed. She moved when she saw me, making room for me to sit down.
"You look a million times better." She commented.
"The wonders of a hot shower and a best friend's advice." I smiled.
"Oh look, a smile!" She shrieked, sitting up quickly and pointing.
"Really?" I said, the smile disappearing.
"Sorry." She laughed.
"Stories to tell?" I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Well I wanted to ask you some stuff first. Patience, young one." She scolded me.
"Okay, what?" I asked eagerly.
"What did you and Kendall...you know....do?" She said awkwardly.
"OH MY GOD, YOU AND JAMES HAD SEX!" I screamed, covering my mouth with my hand in shock. Her face was redder than a cherry. I raised my eyebrows at her, my hand still covering my mouth.
"We did." She looked at the stitching in the blanket. I screamed.
"Well that's a freaking speedy recovery." She mumbled.
"You just told me you lost your virginity and you want me to be quiet!? Of course something like this would stop me being an annoying longing girl!" I laughed loudly.
"Ugh," She groaned. "I knew you'd do this."
"So...?" I encouraged.
"So what?"
"How was it?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her the same way James wiggled his at me yesterday. He was asking about whether me and Kendall had done the dirty. "WAIT!" When was it!?"
"The night before last." She fiddled with the blanket in between her fingers.
"That's why he asked me that." I laughed aloud.
"What?"
"James asked me if me and Kendall 'had fun'." I shrugged. She knew what I meant by that, I never had to elaborate.
"Oh my goodness." She ran her hand through her hair.
"Its okay." I laughed. "Anyway....how was it?"
"Um, honestly?" She played with her earring, not looking at me.
"Yes, honestly."
"Fantastic." She giggled. "I mean, after the initial pain of it, it was terrific." She wouldn't look up from the blanket.
"Awe!" I shrieked, smacking her in the arm. "You know what I'm gonna ask next."
"Yes, i do. And yes, he was." She laughed. She finally got the chance to quote Snooki in a way relevant to her.
"It was like sticking a freaking watermelon in a pinhole!" She faked the Jersey accent and everything, making me laugh hysterically.
Nothing can cure heartbreak like your best friend.
"Well I'm glad you guys had fun.." I giggled. "How did the separation go?"
"Not so bad. I mean yeah I was upset but I tried to think of the good and not dwell on the bad things about it. That made it easier."
"And here i am crying like a baby..." I murmured.
She just laughed at me, pushing my shoulder lightly. "Its okay, you're fine now."
Just as the words came out of her mouth, my phone vibrated, indicating that it had received a text.
She gasped when she peeked and saw Kendall <3<3<3
I unlocked my iPhone and read the message, reminding myself that this was just about the best case scenario for our situation.

I miss you.

I sighed heavily and put down the phone for a minute.
"Hey Belle, you wanna spend the night? I think I'm gonna need some company." I said, rubbing my eyes.
"Of course, now reply."

Miss you too. :/

Belle continuously tried to get me to concentrate on making plans, but I kept getting distracted by Kendall's texts.

K: We're on the bus headed towards Georgia for our next performance. The guys are playing COD. Lol

S: That's exciting. First concert stop on your Big Time Tour, right? Haha

K: Yup. They're yelling at me now...

S: Why? ):

K: Cause we're getting ready to do a ustream chat and I'm hardly paying any attention.
S: You're going on ustream!?

K: Yeah, we'll be on in like 15 minutes. You gonna watch? (:

S: Of course! Me and Belle will watch it!

K: Cool (: speaking of Belle, can you tell her that James hasn't shutup about her ever since we left?

S: She said 'AWE HE'S SO SWEET!'

K: She would....

S: I know, Lol.

K: Its actually getting kind of annoying. Haha I wonder if I'm like that about you...

S: To me, no, not annoying. To the guys, yes, probably extremely annoying. Lololol

K: Haha yeah, I bet. Okay well we're about to go on and they wont let me have my phone while we're on, so watch and i'll text you later?

S: Okayy (:


We logged onto ustream using my laptop and clicked on big time rush's channel. The boy's faces popped up on the screen.
"Hey guys!" Logan sang on the computer screen. They were sitting in their usual formation, Kendall all the way on the left, Logan next to him, James next and Carlos on the right end.
"How are you all doing?" James interjected.
"Missing you." Belle humphed.
I laughed at her expression while the guys talked about where they were and what was going on. When they said they were gonna talk to the fans, they said they'd go to twitter since it'd be much easier to read the comments there. They said they'd go on Kendall's first to see what was going on there. I logged on quickly and mentioned Kendall in my tweet.

Hey, @HeffronDrive, you're looking really spiffy in that flannel. <3

I watched as they silently read through the tweets pouring in, laughing and commenting on some of them. Kendall's smile grew and James laughed.

"So apparently Kendall looks good in flannel, Sydney? Would he look better without the flannel?" James' eyebrows wiggled at the camera suggestively. I wonder if the thousands of fangirls and Kendall stayers watching this caught that. I sure hope not.

@heffrondrive, can you tell @jamesmaslow to shut his mouth? And slap him for me? (':

A few minutes later they were still commenting on Kendall's mentioned tweets and Kendall slapped James on the back of his head. Me and Belle busted out laughing, and James looked at him like he was crazy.
"What was that for!?" James said angrily.
"Look," Kendall pointed at my tweet and all four of them started laughing.
"Don't be jealous, syd." He winked. I'd never win, I better just give up now. While the guys were still here I'd gotten pretty close with James. He was like the older brother I never had but always wanted. He sure annoyed me and teased me like he was my brother.
"Ohh, looks like Syd's got some competition!" James exclaimed, pointing at the computer screen I couldn't see. I frowned, knowing they must've been talking about a jealous fan.

"@heffrondrive - lose that other chick, I'm all you need." Logan read aloud.
Kendall's face was a grimace. I laughed at his expression, but I also felt bad for the girl. Granted she just told Kendall to get rid of me...
"Never. Sorry," He shrugged his shoulders and went back to reading the tweets like it was the most casual thing he'd ever said.
I was really gonna have to get used to his fans bashing me for dating him. I know what it's like to be one of the fangirls hating the girl dating your favorite celebrity. They're viscious.
After a while they switched to James' twitter, then Logan's, then Carlos'. I was happy I got to see him again, even if it was over a one sided web camera.

I checked my twitter once the chat was over, and I got a few mentions and a lot of new followers, which honestly didn't surprise me.

@jamesmaslow:
@sydmillah, how you doing baby sister?

I tweeted a new post,

@sydmillah
Dear @jamesmaslow,
I'm sitting here bored out of my mind with Arabella, missing my new big brother, my boyfriend, my swag coach, and my maid. Come back soon ):
Love always, syd. <3

"Do you wanna go get some Moe's?" Belle suggested randomly.
"Sure, I guess." I laughed, and started logging out if the four tabs I had open.
"Do you have enough going on there..?" Belle asked sarcastically.
"Nope." I smiled.
"What are all those anyway?" She leaned in to look at the tabs I was exiting out of.
"Twitter, facebook, tumblr, and ustream." I shrugged.
"Sounds legit." She laughed. "Let's go!"
"I'm coming, i'm coming." I sighed, closing my laptop before I put on some shoes and grabbed my keys.
When we got to Moe's, we went through the subway styled line and took our normal booth once we had gotten our food.
She had gotten her favorite salad, while I got my burrito.
"Hahahahaha!" She snorted, swallowing her food before she could spit it out in her fit of laughter.
"What!?" I looked around us, confused. She pointed at my burrito.
"It's a James!" She shrieked. I looked at her with wide eyes.
"Did you really have to say that? Now it's gonna feel really awkward eating my food." I shook my head. She just continued laughing.
"Hey, don't imagine that's my boyfriend..." she squinted at me.
"Must I remind you that I have my own boyfriend?"
"And...?"
"Plus, even before we knew them, I didn't stay for James. James didn't even conflict me really!" I laughed.
"You're right. Did you tell Kendall about your confliction for Logan?"
"I did, and he thought it was funny." I shrugged, taking a bite of my burrito. She busted out laughing.
"Are you gonna do that everytime I try to eat this?" I sighed.
She just nodded, holding back her laughter.