Let Me In

Christmas came and went, the New Year rolled past with fair amounts of alcohol and loneliness. Skye and Tom never talked about what happened on the 20th of December, but Tom almost preferred it that way. The air felt tense between them for about two days before they got over it. Tom was still ignoring Jonson even though it was well into January now and Skye hadn’t noticed.

But that doesn’t mean that Tom wasn’t constantly thinking about it. The way her cheeks were still cold from the outdoors, but her pink lips were soft and slick and pushed against his in the gentlest of manors. The way she breathed out of her nose slowly and grasped the front of his jacket tightly in her small, pale fists. He couldn’t forget the way it felt to have her mouth glued to his, his nose brushing her cheek and hers doing the same. Or how when she pulled away from him, she smiled kindly, leaning in to place another small kiss onto his lips like a secret before lying her head back onto his shoulder to catch her breath. No, he couldn’t forget it. How could’ve he forgotten something he dreamt about for years?

Skye seemed to have been able to push it from her mind. She and Jonson were busy planning their trip to Los Angeles, which Jonson had wanted to do before Christmas, but due to Skye’s hesitance they decided they weren’t going to leave until February. Tom was beginning to think he was more nervous for the surgery than Skye and Jonson combined. As they sat in her living room with credit cards and laptops trying to book flights and find hotels, Tom’s anxiety grew. He couldn’t stand the idea of sending Skye to L.A. with a guy he didn’t trust to have a surgery that will forever change her life. While Jonson was busy reassuring them that the surgery would go well and that everything would be fine, there was still a voice in the back of Tom’s mind shouting at him that the surgery was still in the testing stages for a reason.

Tom sighed, taking a swig from the beer his dad had given him upon entering his parent’s house. They had invited him and Oliver over for dinner like they do every Sunday when both the boys are in town. Oliver was late as usual and their father had already insisted they eat without Tom’s older brother, but his mother demanded that they wait. His stomach was grumbling with hunger and just as Tom was about to open his mouth to agree with his father, Oliver burst through the door a smile on his face and a case of beer in his hand.

“Oli, meh boy, took yeh long enough! Bring the beer to the table and ask yeh mother if she needs help,” Their father said moving to the table and taking his seat at the head. Both Tom and Oli shook their heads at his impatience before embracing and moving to the kitchen to help their mother bring the food to the table.

Once the table was set and they were all sitting comfortably, Mrs. Sykes told the boys to dig in and for the first ten minutes of the meal the only thing heard was the clanking of knives on plates and glasses being lifted from the table before being hastily put back down.

“Hungry, lads?” Mrs. Sykes mused with a grin as she watched her family devour the meal she had prepared. Tom nodded, looking up to see his father and brother doing the same. He grinned, adjusting the rise of his pants against his stomach, trying to ease the irritation of the bulge of his stomach against his pants.

“So Oliver, when are you headed out of town next?” Their father inquired through a mouthful of ham and corn. Tom’s brother traveled a lot for his job. Their parents weren’t very pleased about it, but at least one of their sons had a job. Oliver swallowed the food in his mouth before replying,

“Two weeks,” He said, clearing his throat and taking a swig of beer, “Headed to America. Going to Nevada for a bit, then California. We’re all quite excited about California, the weather’s always nice.”

“California?” Tom spoke up, an idea hitting him hard. “Don’t you get a special discount or summat for traveling through work?”

“Yeah, we pay with a certain credit card and we’ve racked up quite a few frequent flier miles as well over the years,” Oli said as he forked more food into his mouth.

Tom paused a moment. How long had it been since he’d left Sheffield? His family hadn’t gone on a vacation since his Aunt Tessley died when he was twelve. Even then all they did was go to Spain for a week and attend a funeral amongst several rather rotten smelling old Spaniards. The idea hit him suddenly, making him push away from the table abruptly and stand up hastily.

“Tom!” His mother shouted in surprise, wiping her mouth with her napkin.

“Sorry, mum, I need to make a phone call. I’ll be back in a moment, I promise!” He said, kissing her bewildered face before dashing to his old room.

Tom opened the door to the room he had grown up in and turned on the light quickly. The room was dark, the blinds were closed and the ceiling light was having trouble heating up. He sat down on the small bed that now had a dark blue comforter instead of his old Star Wars blanket and looked at the boxes of junk his parents had piled up on his old dresser and near his closet door. The walls were empty of all his old posters and Tom suddenly felt very strange sitting in his old bedroom. He pushed the thought away from his head and pulled out his phone, dialing Skye’s number.

It rang once. Twice. A third time. Tom pleaded with Skye to pick up, but was met by a dial tone. He swore, pulling the phone away from his ear to redial. He waited again, praying that she’d pick up this time around. The phone rang once, then again, then half way through the third ring, it was cut short.

“’Ello?” Jonson’s voice echoed into Tom’s ear. Tom could hear Jonson chewing and Tom grimaced, coughing slightly before he spoke up.

“Jonson, it’s Tom, where’s Skye? I need ta speak ta ‘er,” Tom said quickly, hoping to minimize the time he spent talking to Jonson.

“She’s in the bathroom, is there anything I can help you with?” Jonson inquired, his voice clear as if he had finally swallowed.

“I’d rather talk ta ‘er if yeh don’t mind,” Tom stated, trying his best not to snap at Jonson.

“No problem,” Jonson replied, “She’s just got out anyways.”

Tom heard a fumble and a little static before Skye’s voice flooded through his system.

“Hey!” Skye chimed, Tom could just picture her smiling face and her hands on her hips, using her shoulder to press the phone to her ear, “What’s up?”

“I’ve got an idea,” He said ardently, “Oliver-“

“Your brother?” She interrupted thoughtfully.

“Yes,” Tom exasperated, “Who else?”

“Sorry, just making sure,” Skye mumbled apologetically.

“Anyways, Oliver has all these frequent flier miles loaded up because of work. I was finking, maybe I could use ‘em and come with Jonson and yeh to Los Angeles! Yeh know how worried I’ve been abou’ lettin’ yeh go ta L.A. and I fink both of us would be more comfortable if I went. Jus’ fink about it, yeah? I’ve always been wif yeh through all of this, I was there at the start and I want to be there at the end of it as well,” Tom paused, letting Skye absorb the idea. “Please, tell me wha’ yeh finking.”

“It’s just-“ She stopped a moment. Tom heard her sigh before she started again, “I want you to come because like you said, I’d be way more comfortable if you were there but-“

“You and Jonson planned stuff fer jus’ the two of yeh,” Tom finished the thought for her.

“Yeah,” Skye choked out. Tom closed his eyes, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands before he swallowed it all down.

“I understand, no worries. I hadn’t even asked Oli if I could use his miles anyways. No problem,” He replied hastily.

“Tom, I want you to go-“

“No, don’t even think about meh. This trip was always meant for yeh and Jonson I shouldn’t have even thought of interruptin’ it. Tis fine,” Tom interjected shortly.

“You don’t sound fine,” Skye murmured gently.

“I jus’ feel stupid,” He muttered, rubbing his eyes with his fist.

“Don’t. I understand, Tom. You’re sending me away for two weeks and you know nothing will be the same when you see me next. It’s normal for you to want to be there. Please don’t feel silly because I thought about it too,” She explained softly.

“But you don’t want me there.”

“No, Tom, I do-“

“Nevermind. Let’s just forget this even happened. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tom, please!”

“Goodbye.”

Tom ended the phone call before Skye could get in another word. How had he not thought that Jonson and Skye had planned couple-y stuff for them on a two week trip to Los Angeles? How had that completely slipped his mind? Suddenly the thought of Skye and Jonson alone in a hotel room for two weeks made his stomach spin. He groaned, throwing himself back onto his old bed and covering his eyes with his forearm.

Tom couldn’t stop thinking. He couldn’t hold it all back like he usually was very good at and it all came flooding out. He was losing. After all these years of watching her grow and become a brilliant young woman, it was becoming so hard for him to not feel any love in return. He lost her to Jonson, the man who was fixing her one easy blundering step at a time. After each band-aid and stitch Tom had put into Skye none of it mattered because Jonson had her love and that was the only thing that could heal every wound. Tom had lost, and now that he was stuck lying on his old bed wondering if Skye kissed Jonson like she had kissed him, he pondered how much longer it would take for Skye to completely forget he ever existed at all.