Let Me In

Tom sighed, running his hands through his unkempt hair as Jillian stared at him from across the restaurant booth.

“Well wha’ am I supposed to do?” Tom muttered out, “I can’t jus’ go back ta ‘er and ask ‘er ta forgive meh! Wha’ I said was unforgivable! I’ll always regret it.”

Jillian let out an irritated huff and shook her head. “She loves you, Tom. Of course she will forgive you once you apologize,” She insisted in her heavy German accent over the hum of the restaurant around them.

“Skye ‘as tha’ Jonson bloke. She doesn’t need meh anymore,” He mumbled darkly, reaching out for his beer and taking a hearty swig.

“How many times do I have to tell you that Skye loves you before you understand it?” Jillian asks sternly, “She hasn’t played the piano in two weeks Tom! She hasn’t played since you stopped coming to visit!”

“She told meh ta leave! Wha’ was I supposed ta do? Stay? Tha’ would only piss ‘er off more!” Tom shouted back at her.

“Yes!” Jillian said, smacking her hands on the table, “You were supposed to stay and fight for her forgiveness! Walking away and staying away was probably the worst move you made.”

Tom groaned and squeezed his eyes tight shut. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. His chest was twisted in uncomfortable knots since the day, two weeks ago, that him and Skye got into a fight. He had never felt so bad and he was constantly beating himself up about it. He didn’t mean to hurt Skye- he just couldn’t handle all the building emotions that he just had to let some out.

“Wha’ do I do then?” He asked desperately, “I can’t tell ‘er tha’ I love ‘er and ruin wha’ we ‘ave even more.”

Jillian sighed softly before shaking her head. “Just come back and apologize before she withdrawals from Jonson too.”

Tom ignored the pang of jealousy and nodded his head, finishing the beer on the dark, wood table and swallowing.

“If she doesn’t forgive me I don’t know wha’ I’m gonna do wif meself,” He told Jillian as he took a couple bills out of his pocket and threw them onto the table. The care-taker gave him a sad smile before gathering her large purse and jacket and standing up.

Tom followed suit and gathered his jacket, slipping it on as the two of them walked out of the small pub together. They walked in silence through the cold weather, Skye’s flat only a couple minutes away. Tom really didn’t want to go and see her. He was afraid that she wasn’t going to forgive him and after all the years he spent being emotionally devoted to her, he didn’t think he could handle such a blow.

Then there was the matter of Jonson. Tom didn’t care for the bloke and he wasn’t planning on starting either. He was pissed off that Skye was starting to fall for Jonson and Tom wanted nothing more than to take Jonson by the head and throw him out a window. It was the boiling jealousy that went to Tom’s head that made him do rash and stupid things. Jonson just set his teeth on edge and Tom couldn’t stand it.

Much faster than Tom liked, they arrived at the flat. Tom swallowed thickly as they walked into the warm entry way and shuffled quickly up the stairs.

“I asked Jonson to stay with her while I was gone,” Jillian explained quietly as they walked down the hallway and to Skye’s door. “I was planning on making him leave so you two could talk. He’s been rather accepting to the whole situation actually. He is here nearly every day and always tries to help her with the emotional factor of this mess. The boy’s been really sweet actually.”

Tom felt gutted and just nodded, not trusting his own voice as Jillian unlocked the door and let them in. The unnatural silence that lived in the flat made Tom shiver. It was very strange not to hear the notes of the piano, or voices coming from the kitchen. Tom almost backed out then, but Jillian grabbed him by the elbow and led him down the hall towards Skye’s bedroom. They reached the end of the hall and Jillian pushed the creaking door open slowly. Jonson and Skye were lying on the bed. Skye’s black-shaded sunglasses were lying on the bedside table and her eyes were shut. Her soft, deep breaths indicated that they she was sleeping. Jonson, however, looked wide awake. His dark eyes drifted over her body as he lay beside her; one of his hands was holding onto hers gently as he looked at her with a certain admiration that made Tom’s insides squirm.

Jillian cleared her throat and Jonson looked up sharply. He didn’t seem to notice Jillian; instead his eyes looked Tom over. He gave a weak smile before carefully moving off the bed, gently enough that Skye remained asleep and silently walking over to them. Tom clenched his fist in his pocket to keep himself from seizing Jonson and strangling him.

“She fell asleep a half hour ago,” He whispered quietly, “She’s completely exhausted.”

Jillian nodded curtly and looked past Jonson at the blind girl. “Thank you for looking after her,” Jillian responded in a hushed voice, “You can leave now.”

Jonson nodded, patting Tom on the shoulder before slipping out of the room. Tom had to grit his teeth to keep from hurting someone. Instead he moved further into the room, slowly walking over to the bed before placing himself down beside Skye. She stirred in her sleep, tossing her head and rolling onto her side facing Tom. He held his breath for a moment, before letting it out slowly. Then he waited. He didn’t dare break her from her peaceful slumber, the deep circles under her eyes telling him that he needed them.

Jillian looked on from the doorway as Tom gently moved a strand of hair away from Skye’s face. She smiled sadly before backing away into the hallway and leaving them alone.

Tom couldn’t keep his eyes off of Skye. She looked just about as awful as he felt. She was unusually pale and her eyes looked a little sunken in, her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. He let out a long breath and leaned forward, kissing her forehead before pulling back. Skye’s breathing didn’t change from the even, deep pattern so Tom closed his eyes as well, hoping that maybe he’d be able to get a little sleep since he hasn’t gotten much at all the past two weeks.

*

“Jonson? Jonson, what time is it?”

Tom stirred from his slumber; he blinked then sat up quickly at the sound of Skye’s voice. He looked around sharply; Skye was leaning up on her elbows, confusion clear on her face as she rubbed her green eyes. Tom nearly stopped breathing, Skye wore those damn sunglasses all the time that he had forgotten just how beautiful her eyes really were.

“Jonson? Babe, what’s wrong?” Skye said softly, sitting up next to him, her hand finding his on the bed. Tom cleared his throat uneasily, lifting a hand and resting it gently on Skye’s soft cheek.

“Skye,” He said slowly, immediately Skye’s body went rigid, “It’s meh, Tom.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She said instantly, her teeth gritted.

“I came to apologize,” He said soothingly, rubbing the pad of his thumb on her cheek.

“Get away from me,” She said her voice trembling, pushing his hand off of her and moving to the other side of the bed, “I don’t want you here.”

“Skye, please, listen ta meh,” Tom pleaded, jumping off the bed and running to the other side. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand in his.

“I think you said just plenty,” Skye said, taking her hand away from his and searching her nightstand for her sunglasses before shoving them onto her face. “You obviously could care less about me, you know, because I’m blind!”

“Skye, I didn’t mean it-“

“Then why on earth did you say it?!” Skye shouted. Tom didn’t have a response for that. He took a chance, reaching over and just barely touching her hand with his. She immediately ripped it away from him and stood up, taking two steps forward before stopping.

“Skye, I was stupid,” Tom said softly, his heart going a mile a minute, “So incredibly dumb and I dunno why I said it, but wha’ I do know is tha’ I’ve been goin’ nuts these past two weeks. I can’t sleep and me stomach has been hurting fer hours on end… please jus’ lemme explain.”

“You have five minutes before I kick your ass out myself,” She said harshly, crossing her arms against her chest and keeping her face away from his.

“I don’t like Jonson,” He said slowly, Skye scoffed, “Please, I jus’- I don’t trust him, and can yeh blame meh? Yeh ‘ave been so shut off from the world and I don’t want this bloke hurtin’ yeh. I’m watching out fer yeh and I’m not used ta ‘aving ta share yeh wif anyone else.”

“So that’s why you go off on me? Cause you don’t like Jonson?” Skye asks, her anger obvious in her tone, “What the fuck, Tom? I mean, god you could have told me without yelling at me and making me feel like a good for nothing blind douchebag!”

“I know, I know,” Tom exasperated, dropping his face into his hands as guilt washed over him, “Yer so special. So special ta meh and I jus’ can’t-“

He hesitated. Skye’s head quirked to the side as she waited for him to go on.

“I can’t lose yeh a’right? I don’t know if yeh can handle another loss, and if this Jonson bloke ever breaks yer heart I swear I will rip his lungs from his chest and then make him choke on them,” Tom spat. He lifted his head from his hands and looked up at Skye. She had turned around slightly, her head in his direction. He stood up slowly, taking a few steps so he was just close enough to her.

“I’m realleh sorry, I’d do anyfing fer yeh ta forgive meh,” He said to her softly. Skye’s resolution broke and in an instant she was in Tom’s arms.

“I missed you so much,” She mumbled into his shoulder. Tom’s eyes were wide with shock, he had never thought she would forgive him so easily. Of course, he still felt guilty enough to pull his own fingernails out, but he didn’t say anything, he just held her body close to his. He took a deep breath nuzzled into her neck.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized, Skye’s arms tightening around her, “I don’t know wha’ came over meh.”

Skye let go slightly, leaning away from him, but not pulling away from his embrace. She shook her head slowly at him.

“I kind of knew you didn’t like Jonson,” She admitted, “But he means a lot to me. For some reason he’s just- he endears me and he seems to handle me so well that I can’t help it. It’s been so long since someone has been interested in me and when he’s around I feel wanted. I feel normal around him, like me being blind doesn’t matter.”

“Skye, it’s neva mattered. I’ve neva cared tha’ yeh were blind. I’ve always treated yeh like yeh were normal,” Tom said, trying to get Skye to realize that he’s always been there for her. Tom wanted Skye to see what she saw in Jonson, in Tom.

“No, Tom, you haven’t. I’ve always felt blind around you and Jillian, but around Jonson I feel like I can see so much more,” She explained gently. Tom’s heart broke in his chest again. He didn’t know what to say to get Skye to reconsider. All he wanted was for her to want him back.

“I swear if he hurts yeh-“

“I don’t think he will,” Skye interrupted, a small smile on her beautiful face. Tom had to look away.

“Yeh can’t spend too much time wif him, a’right? An’ I’m not going ta be a third wheel or anyfing,” Tom said slowly. Skye laughed airily and Tom couldn’t stop the tiny, sad smile that tugged at his lips.

“I’ll never be able to forget about you, Tom,” She said, reaching a single hand up slowly until her fingertips hit his chin. Skye’s smile widened a bit before she moved her hand to cup his cheek. “You’re my best friend.”

His heart hurt. “Yeah,” He replied, “Always will be too. Don’t yeh ferget that.”

Skye grinned before hugging him tightly again. “So you don’t mind me dating Jonson?” She asked as she pulled away, but grabbed Tom’s arm, her hand sliding down until she grasped his left hand.

“I fink since I’m the overprotective friend, tha’ I’ll neva be completely a’right wif it,” He started, Skye frowning a bit, “But I’m happy fer yeh and he makes yeh happy, so as long as he keeps making yeh happy then I can’t complain.”

Lies. Every word, Tom thought to himself as he felt like his heart was being clogged. He didn’t want to see Skye fall in love with Jonson, especially not when it was so obvious that she would never love Tom back. He hated it, but he’d have to grit his teeth and manage somehow.

“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” Skye urged, squeezing his hand lightly. Tom nodded, knowing she couldn’t see, but led them both towards the kitchen.

“Now all we need to do is find you a girlfriend,” Skye said as they walked down the hallway, a large grin on her face. Tom scoffed and shook his head.

“No, I don’t fink so,” He replied, leading her into the kitchen and helping her onto one of the stools.

“Oh why not? You need someone new in your life,” Skye said with a gentle smile. Tom shook his head again and headed towards the refrigerator, opening it and pulling out a tub of strawberry yogurt.

“I’m not interested in dating,” He said as he placed the tub on the counter and got two spoons from a drawer. The lies seemed to come more easily to Tom now; lying was a part of hiding his feelings. Because the truth was, that Tom was interested in dating, but someone had already stolen his heart.