Going Home

It hurt.
It hurt like hell. The one person in this house who I had thought I could trust had folded under the pressure - leaving me to take the fall.

After she had told him, I’d hidden in the bathroom and locked the door... but I couldn’t stay in there forever.

The bruises I had received when I eventually came out wouldn’t start to show a few hours yet, but the angry red spots on my arms and ribs showed every fist-mark and punch.

Chris had told me he would put a lock on my door and bar the window, and I had no doubt that he would go through with his threats.

But it didn’t matter - if he got mad again I’d just run out the front door, or go through the bathroom window. He always forgot that I could fit out the tiny hole if I removed the slats.

He really wasn’t very clever, but it didn’t make him any less frightening... which I guess was why Mum caved in.

Before he beat the truth from my mother, he hadn’t known that each time I locked my room I left the house - he still didn’t know where I went, thank god, but he was angry enough that I left his dungeon.

If he even found out that I had friends, people I could turn to, I doubt I would be able to move much afterwards - his beatings were usually brief, and he only ever hit me where it wouldn’t be seen; but he never held back, and I feared for my life sometimes.

That’s why I started running off - I just needed a couple of hours now and then when I wasn’t being abused or bashed.

I guess I was lucky, though - I had somewhere to go. All I had to do was escape the house, then take the bus down to Riverside, cross the park and I was there.

It wasn’t a stately sanctuary by any means, and the suburb of Riverside was nowhere near as grand as its name, but it was far better than my own neighbourhood, and the closest thing to home that I had.

The modest house that I escaped to belonged to my best friend Jessie and her family - her mother and various friends in similar situations to mine.

It was the place I went to when I needed a break from my life.

So, 10pm that night, I had just made the journey from my house to Riverside.

I walked under the trees in the dark, making my way across the park and up the third street on the right.
The lights shining from inside felt peaceful and I began to calm down as soon as I saw the familiar façade of my refuge.

Scratching gently on the door, I heard footsteps from inside, and eventually the door opened.

It was Jessie’s mum, looking at me first in puzzlement, then concern. She didn’t know exactly why I came to stay with Jessie, but she did know it wasn’t good.

“Oh, it’s you, Angie - come in, come in.”

“Thanks, Mrs. James.” I smiled at her and stepped inside the door, as she turned and called back down the hallway.

“Jessie? Angie’s here.”

I heard a noise from one of the rooms further down the corridor - presumably Jessie replying - and started walking towards it.

After a second she bounced (yes, bounced) out of the third room to my left - the living room, I recalled.

“Hey, Angel,” she grinned and gave me hug. “Bad day?”

“Yeah.”

I didn’t say anything more; and I didn’t need to, as Jessie smiled sadly, understanding.

“Come on, then. We’ve got visitors tonight.”

She led me back into the room she had just left, where I could just make out three forms in the dim lighting - two I knew, one I didn’t.
I waved hello to them all, and sat down next to Jessie on the big old ottoman.

“Well, Angel, you already know Luke and Josh,” Jessie nodded to the two boys sitting by the far wall, who waved to me.

I knew them; they were brothers, both short and thin, who gave the impression of being weak - though I knew that they could fight if they had to, and often did.

They stayed over at Jessie’s place often, never saying exactly why - but I got the feeling their family’s ‘business dealings’ at their home sometimes got too much.

It was a sad fate, but much more common than one would like.
I stopped thinking about it, though, as Jessie continued with the introductions.

“And this is Jay.”

She was talking about the third guy in the room, a tall, lanky kid whose red hair fell about his eyes in long strands.

“Hi,” he greeted me warily, his eyes appraising me to see if I could be trusted.

I didn’t blame him, as I was also trying to get a sense of who this guy was.

You see, it’s a skill that all the street kids pick up, to sense if a person is a druggo, violent, dangerous or just plain dumb -- any of which could get you killed if you weren’t careful.

But I sensed no danger from Jay as I sat there watching, and Jessie went on talking - something she was quite good at.

“Jay’s gonna be staying here awhile while things sort themselves out at his place, y’know?”

The last was not a question, but a statement - I nodded, knowing what she meant.

“Parents?” I directed my question at Jay, who hesitated a second, before shrugging.

“Kind of... it’s my mom, and me. Just home in general.”

I had a feeling that he was not telling us everything, but I didn’t push him - it was an unspoken rule that part of the sanctuary the James’ home offered was that you didn’t have to talk about your problems if you didn’t want to.

So I just nodded and watched as Jessie turned back to the television and the DVD that they had been watching when I came in.

“You wanna watch?” she asked me, settling back into her chair, “It’s Van Helsing.”

I grinned, knowing that Jessie knew already that it was my favourite movie.

“Okay.”

Two hours later, the movie ended, and Jessie clicked off the TV with a yawn.

Josh had already fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and most of us were not far behind him, so when Jessie suggested getting some sleep, nobody argued.

Most nights I would have walked back home, but tonight I was far too tired to be anywhere but a bed, and for once, I thought to myself, it would be nice to go to sleep feeling safe.

So Jessie showed Jay and Luke the spare room with the bunks, and left Josh on the couch, while I set up a bed for myself on the floor in her room.

Within minutes, everyone was in bed, and the house was dark.
I watched the hands of the clock moving, for a while, eventually fading off as I watched the glowing face tick away the minutes until 12:30.

But the minute I was really asleep, it seemed, I dreamt of falling.
It was a common theme in my dreams, but this time I was being jolted around - as if I was stuck in a giant bouncing castle, all black, and being pushed and pulled by unseen hands.

And then, nothing... I was just falling on and on and on...

“Angel!”

“What?” I sat straight upright, my heart beating as if trying to escape my ribcage.

Jessie was leaning over me in the still dark room, holding onto my shoulders.

“You must have been having a nightmare or something - you were all twitchy, and you wouldn’t wake up... are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I glanced at the clock on the desk shining 3:08, still trying to get my breath back. “It was just a bad dream, like you said. I think I’ll be alright now.”

“Okay,” she climbed back into bed, yawning sleepily, but watching me warily. “Night, again.”

“Yeah, night.”

Silence once again filled the room as Jessie went back to sleep, and I lay there staring at the ceiling.

My nightmare was still filling my thoughts, and though my eyes were closing, I didn’t really want to risk going back to sleep and falling back into it.

I argued with myself for a while, but I didn’t have much choice in the matter, and before the clock ticked over to 4:00, I was asleep again.