Elements

Aled’s skin prickled up as a shiver ran through him, just like the heroin in an addicts veins. Fumbling hands grasped onto his cardigan, pulling the material as tight as it would go in a bid to evacuate the cold. It didn’t. Aled still clung desperately to the material, just begging for the glow of heat to return to his fracturing body and mind. He couldn’t even think, it was so cold, a bad thing for a boy who usually lost himself in every form of insanity possible. A spark of impulse raced down his spine, igniting his body into feeling absolutely nothing, taking the cold away. The young man smiled, no more shivers.

His inept hands groped the air, blindly searching for his small bag of belongings. Small hissing noises escaped his mouth in frustration; where had that damn bag gone? Equally uncoordinated knees stiffened as he knelt down, locking in place as he stretched either way and felt nothing. He cursed the fog; in both the air and in his mind for confusing his tired brain and keeping him in the cold longer. It frightened him that the cold might come back and attack his body worse than before, it frightened him more than the blunt horizon that lay before his lashes.

Lanky legs straightened out and stepped backwards, only to trip over the object that was behind him all this time. Aled swore aloud as his back hit the ground with a thud, causing a near by bird to squawk at him in annoyance. The young man sat up and swivelled his head in every direction, making his eyes only meet the grey abyss that surrounded him. The warped end of his mind convinced him that there was no end to the grey surrounding him, that he’d slowly suffocate into the harsh smudges of the fog. The last of his common sense however told him that that was erroneous, even horizons had ends.

With a ragged breath Aled pushed himself up, keeping one hand firmly on his bag to ensure that he wouldn’t have any other accidents concerning it. As soon as his feet became stable on the ground and his body did not waver, Aled squeezed the bag to his chest, happy to finally hold onto something that wasn’t just hope. Crystal fragments seemed to shower his eyes, that final sense of longing glittering on the edge, dangerously close to sliding down his caramel lashes and dripping to the floor. When he blinked the fragments disappeared, a new hungry desire appearing in the sockets where his hazel eyes lay.

His feet found themselves being guided by the impeccable force of yearning, not wanting to go back to wherever he had come from, or where he had been. His very soul was gracing his feet, putting all of his trust into his stubbed toes and cracking heels, taking a chance at getting lost. That’s all he was, he was lost, wherever he went was unknown and held a dangerous aura that just spurred him on to find that one safe place. Safety used to be found in the comfort of his bedroom, locked away from anything that could hurt him, but even his safe haven turned into a place he had to run from. Unexplained absences were sort of his thing now, though the simple explanation was that nothing was right, everything and everyone was against Aled.

It was a crooked aspect of life that Aled bared more than most, reality sunk its teeth into his neck and had refused to let go since forever. Having the world against you was dealt better when you are isolated from the very thing that is out to get you, which for Aled, would mean talking drastic measures. He didn’t, he was far too smart for any of that, far too keen to end up happy and smile the last hours of his life away. Also Aled was known for being a stubborn lad, not at all brave, just stubborn. He’d shrivel up into his own skin and hand his heart over to anyone intimidating enough, but would pout and demand to be given it back when the fear had passed.

Aled threw his bag over a worn down shoulder, ready to keep his eyes open for a sign of light or a darker shade of grey than what danced around him. He breathed hard, digesting the fog to make it tango around his lungs and heart, dying them a smudged grey. A blind faith made the muscles in his legs move in sync, propelling him forward into the murky possibilities that lay just before or very far away from his horizon. Really it’s all that he really saw, a distant calling that offered the one thing that he wanted most, and beyond that was a scary thing called the future.

Hazel eyes twitched at the thought; he didn’t have a plan after he had found that something. He didn’t even know what exactly he was looking for now! All plans that he had made from his early life had been destroyed; torn up into shreds of nothing and as distant as the crying moon. Speaking of the moon, when Aled looked up to stretch his neck which had stiffened after hours of restless nights and days of supporting a bowing head, he saw the moon for the first time in what felt like days. It threatened to fall out of the sky and smother the land as it dangled precariously on a thread, dangled down by some Greek God that Aled had learned about many years ago.

It was only then that Aled noticed the black ink seeping across his pink flesh. Darkness had eaten up the grey fog and coloured the air with a rich noir for as far as the eye could see. The moon ignited the perfect darkness, reflecting the raise from the sun back down to earth long after the star had vanished beyond the sea line. Of coarse this just made the journey that more treacherous, but it made Aled feel just that bit more alive. Aled breathed in the night air as if it was poison to his lungs, gently turning them yet another shade darker but he embraced the feeling as if it were a hug from his dearest. If he had one that is.

He shook suddenly as a strange feeling that percolated into the curls of hair. His feet stopped and his hands lazily ran through his hair, almost getting caught in the mass of curls. It was wet but it wasn’t at all sweat, it was some other sort of moisture. With as much force to give him whiplash, Aled threw his head back to look directly up at the skies, and just as he suspected, it had started to rain. He wore no jacket, just a cardigan. As he stared up, the rain appeared to get heavier until the droplets of water hitting his eyes started to nip the orbs that rejected the water.

Aled bowed his head, letting the water drown his thoughts out. Each drop that trickled down his back caused him to walk forward, driving his head up to stare the horizon right in the face again. As the rain washed for him so did a sense of peace, telling him that even if he fell down something extraordinary would happen. “You can’t conspire against me,” he spoke out in a wispy tone to absolutely no one, “my fears will only fuel my desires,” he also recited and then he finally he whispered, “I will become at peace with myself, just watch me.”