Bite Your Tongue - It Chokes Me

He took his slow steps down the hallway, his red shoes brushed the concrete floor before resting in place. It was as if he was testing that the floor was still beneath him before each step. His shoulders slouched forward slightly due to years of self-appointed mediocracy. His brown feathered bangs hung in his eyes which stared through his thick framed glasses toward the ground. He wouldn’t look up. He would not tear his gaze from the concrete tiles until she was in sight.

She was beautiful. That smile she always wore while her friends were near stopped his heart. She scrunched up her nose as she fought with her unopened locker. What he would give to know her combination - to open it with ease and put that brilliant smile on her face. Sometimes he passed her and she would be alone in the hall. That smile was never there, but her heart was on her sleeve. She would always catch his dark eyes in her icy blue ones. He couldn’t look away she mesmerized him so. Her eyes danced with that same sparkle that appeared with her smile, and once, only once he was graced with he corners of her red lips to turn upward. He couldn’t think when it happened, all he could do was keep his feet scuffing across the floor while he repeated in his head: She smiled. She smiled at me.

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Her blonde hair drifted from side to side due to her quick, certain steps. She shook her bangs out of her eyes which stared straight ahead. Her feet seemed to float as she soundlessly made her way down the noisy hallways. She was always the quiet one - the one who took in all her surroundings but only commented while with friends. She never stopped searching around her for a familiar face, a face to put a smile on her own. Her solidified exterior never failed when friends weren’t around. She stood straight and emotionless; emotionless until her wandering blue eyes saw him.

She thought that he must know how gorgeous he was. His dark, chocolate eyes caused her pulse to skip a beat. The look on his faced usually seemed lost as he fixated his eyes on the floor. She would do almost anything for him to look toward her - to be close enough she could become lost in his melting gaze. When he was around his friends his face would light up. His dazzling smile would be painted flawlessly on his face. His face would glow and his emotions shone through clearly. Even while talking with friends, when she came near him he would always look her way. She let her bright eyes swim in his shadowy ones. They made her want to melt on the spot and she would restrain herself from sliding a grin across her mouth. Once, he seemed to have a slight pout on his thin lips, and she couldn’t help but give a friendly smile. The corners of his mouth twitched but never returned the gesture.

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But his heart was broken in two one day, and split hers along with it.

One day, she was at her locker without anyone around. He was walking down the stairs as she fought with the lock. She flipped her hair out of her eye without noticing him looking at her. His feel scuffed their way toward her and he was so close to talking to her; to making her smile. He slowed his pace as a teenaged boy walked up to her. She smiled at the boy - that radiant smile of hers - and stretched her arms out toward him. The teenager wrapped her in his arms.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the pair in an embrace; when he saw her giggle. He couldn’t watch the two any longer. He turned on the spot and walked away from her as quickly as he was able to move while still looking calm.

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When her friend let her go, he saw the boy she liked walking in the opposite direction. Her friend pointed him out to her and she spun on the spot to look at him. She could tell by the way his shoulders hunched over more than usual that he was upset. She wanted to run to him, to hug him and make everything better. Something inside of her stopped her from doing that. It made her think that he saw her with her friend, and somehow it made him unhappy. How could seeing them upset him? She let her eyes bore into the back of his retreating figure, willing him to know just how she felt. The boy stood beside her, observing her as she watched after him desperately.

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He let his feet brush the floor with more force than usual. The emotions inside him consumed his head so much that he barely heard his friend call his name. He looked up to see his friend searching between her and him, before walking ahead and grasping his wrist tightly in her hand. The skin against his own clashed against his pale complexion. He imagined her creamy, milky white hands in his own before realizing that she would never hold his hand, she was already probably holding that guy’s instead. His friend’s tanned skin tightened around his arm when he refused to turn toward the couple. The girl clutching his wrist pulled him behind herself as she strutted toward the two he had just tried to avoid.

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She saw him with a friend of hers and noticed they seemed to be holding hands. Her heart shattered at the sight. She watched them walk toward her and her friend. He had a sullen look on his face and he wouldn’t make eye contact with anything but the floor. Her two friends shared a smile as she stood awkwardly facing him observing he was still in her friend’s hand. She saw the friend that had hugged her step ahead out of the corner of her eye. Her two friends shared a chaste kiss before embracing each other. They walked off, hand in hand, leaving the two confused lovers facing each other adjacent to her locker.

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He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She let her eyes dance with the words her tongue bit back. Close up he could see the different colors in her icy blue eyes. They were darker on the outside, fading to grey around her pupil. She could see the flecks of gold in his own as he stood before her. He choked on the words his mind wanted to get out. He needed to tell her how he felt before she slipped from his grip once again.

“Do you need help opening your locker?” he blurted out, letting a raspy breath release as well.

She giggled at his offer, nodding her head. Her confident facade slipped away as her voice wavered when she stated her combination. His fingers floated over the cold metal dial on her lock. It opened on his very first try. He turned to her with a triumphant smile and held the lock out for her. She smiled at him, that dazzling smile he would give anything to see. That smile was all for him and it made him weak. He helplessly smiled back, not even knowing his smile was doing the same thing to her that hers had done to him.