First You Live
Just a Saturday
I walked with Mikey’s hand in mine toward his family after the ceremony. He hugged his family and they told him how proud they were. I couldn’t stand there though. I couldn’t watch Mikey with is amazing family and feel okay. I freed my hand from Mikey’s and mumbled apologies as I took off. It started as a fast walk but soon enough I was running down the sidewalk that led home. Mikey ran after me but I truly wished that he wouldn’t have.
“Gill, wait please.” He yelled running as fast as he could.
I started running faster knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep up for much longer. He put up a good effort before he stopped leaning on his knees, his asthma was too much to keep after me. When I reached my house I threw the navy gown on the dining table and searched every room. My dad wasn’t there at all. I checked the normal places one would leave a note, there was nothing there either. I was doing anything I could at that point to stay angry but I could feel the sadness creeping up inside me. In desperation to stop the feeling I grabbed a frying pan sitting on the stove and threw it as hard as I could out the kitchen window.“Mother fucker!” I yelled. “Son of a fucking bitch,”
Mikey drove up to the house not much later. He was clearly able to see the broken kitchen window when he pulled up. When he entered the house I was sitting on the couch in the living room, my head in my hands crying. He sat carefully next to me and slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders. It took a good ten minutes for me to calm down and stop sobbing.
“He should have fucking been there.” I exclaimed.
“I’m so sorry, Gill.” He said but he didn’t quite know what else to say to me.
“I can’t believe him, my graduation.” I started crying again and I angrily wiped the tears away.
Mikey wrapped his arms around me completely pulling me into a hug. I gripped onto him tightly. He rubbed my back lightly and kissed my hair. I squeezed him tighter thankful that Mikey was always there when I needed him. “I really don’t know what I would do without you sometimes, Mikey.”
He pulled back slightly, enough to look me in the eyes. “You’re amazing Gill, the way you make me feel is amazing.” I smiled finally and Mikey wiped my tears away. “It’s okay to be sad sometimes.”
I looked over at the broken window and laughed sadly. “I just get so pissed when I’m sad.” I said which made him giggle. I leaned in and kissed him because kissing Mikey always made me happy. “Listen,” I said when I pulled away. “We graduated today and I want to forget this and celebrate with you.” Mikey nodded understanding that I couldn’t dwell on my dad all day. “But tomorrow we can talk about it. I think I finally need to.”
“Come on then, let’s go to my house. My mom is dying to hug you.”
“I adore your mom. I adore you’re whole family.” I told him kissing him again lightly.
Donna, Don, and Gerard welcomed me into their house just as I was one of their own like Mikey. It was sweet of them to take me into their family like they had. Mikey didn’t want anything fancy, so it was just the five of us eating spaghetti on living room floor. We weren’t allowed to eat our food on the couches but it was a special occasion for Donna to let us eat in there at all.
“Alrighty,” Gerard said tapping his soda can with a s fork, “to the graduates,” we laughed at his theatrics. “Congratulations on graduating high school, your reward is—more beer in college. Yeah!” He finished raising his coke can.
“Gerard, you’re a freak,” Don stated bluntly. I snickered at the sheer truth of the statement. He looked over at me and smiled. “Gillian, I’m really glad to have you here and I’m really proud of you guys.” Donald didn’t say much but it meant the world to me. I looked down as I found myself blushing.
“Gill, wait please.” He yelled running as fast as he could.
I started running faster knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep up for much longer. He put up a good effort before he stopped leaning on his knees, his asthma was too much to keep after me. When I reached my house I threw the navy gown on the dining table and searched every room. My dad wasn’t there at all. I checked the normal places one would leave a note, there was nothing there either. I was doing anything I could at that point to stay angry but I could feel the sadness creeping up inside me. In desperation to stop the feeling I grabbed a frying pan sitting on the stove and threw it as hard as I could out the kitchen window.“Mother fucker!” I yelled. “Son of a fucking bitch,”
Mikey drove up to the house not much later. He was clearly able to see the broken kitchen window when he pulled up. When he entered the house I was sitting on the couch in the living room, my head in my hands crying. He sat carefully next to me and slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders. It took a good ten minutes for me to calm down and stop sobbing.
“He should have fucking been there.” I exclaimed.
“I’m so sorry, Gill.” He said but he didn’t quite know what else to say to me.
“I can’t believe him, my graduation.” I started crying again and I angrily wiped the tears away.
Mikey wrapped his arms around me completely pulling me into a hug. I gripped onto him tightly. He rubbed my back lightly and kissed my hair. I squeezed him tighter thankful that Mikey was always there when I needed him. “I really don’t know what I would do without you sometimes, Mikey.”
He pulled back slightly, enough to look me in the eyes. “You’re amazing Gill, the way you make me feel is amazing.” I smiled finally and Mikey wiped my tears away. “It’s okay to be sad sometimes.”
I looked over at the broken window and laughed sadly. “I just get so pissed when I’m sad.” I said which made him giggle. I leaned in and kissed him because kissing Mikey always made me happy. “Listen,” I said when I pulled away. “We graduated today and I want to forget this and celebrate with you.” Mikey nodded understanding that I couldn’t dwell on my dad all day. “But tomorrow we can talk about it. I think I finally need to.”
“Come on then, let’s go to my house. My mom is dying to hug you.”
“I adore your mom. I adore you’re whole family.” I told him kissing him again lightly.
Donna, Don, and Gerard welcomed me into their house just as I was one of their own like Mikey. It was sweet of them to take me into their family like they had. Mikey didn’t want anything fancy, so it was just the five of us eating spaghetti on living room floor. We weren’t allowed to eat our food on the couches but it was a special occasion for Donna to let us eat in there at all.
“Alrighty,” Gerard said tapping his soda can with a s fork, “to the graduates,” we laughed at his theatrics. “Congratulations on graduating high school, your reward is—more beer in college. Yeah!” He finished raising his coke can.
“Gerard, you’re a freak,” Don stated bluntly. I snickered at the sheer truth of the statement. He looked over at me and smiled. “Gillian, I’m really glad to have you here and I’m really proud of you guys.” Donald didn’t say much but it meant the world to me. I looked down as I found myself blushing.