The Sadness Will Never End.

The more time I took to process Tom's words though the more I noticed he was right on some level. I knew Lizzy brought out the best in me and I knew how amazing I felt around her. Yeah and maybe I was over paranoid, less confident then I once was, but I knew, I knew what I felt with her and how, once she got here my world would be off balance and I'd be sucked into the world of where the only person who existed was Lizzy. It was not her fought by any means. It was all mine. I made her the only person I saw when she was around. Well, maybe it was her fault a bit I mean being so damn perfect didn't make things easier. I could sit for hours and just day dream of her if that tells you anything. Ok, really that just makes me sound creepy but it wasn't meant that way...

I mean what it comes down to is that...I love her. I love Lizzy and there wasn't any other way around it. I loved her green eyes, her cute laugh, how she listens to me and loves my music. I just, I love everything about her.

"Oli!" Tom yelled and I jerked my head to where he was sitting.

"I've been callin yeh name for bloody two minutes!"

"I love Lizzy." I said so abruptly he stared at me strangely for a few moments.

"Yeah. I am positive that I do." I said with a grin, no wonder people thought I was mental, I clearly am.

"Yeh eva notice how when she giggles her nose crinkles up? So bloody cute she is. And, she's hilarious. Like honestly, there isn't anotha bird like her. I mean, they all take themselves so seriously and she has no problem laughin' at herself. I love that bout her." I said rambling on. I guess though in a way it was needed. I've never discussed how I felt about her to anyone or the things I love about her and now that I did it seemed to make myself more evident of the fact that I love her.

"Oliver." He said and I quickly shut up. He smiled, "Yeh mental."

I shrugged and he chuckled, "neva seen yeh like this...yeh know what, instead of tellin' me this yeh need ta tell her when she arrives."

I frowned instantly and it seemed to dull my happy thoughts, "she is gonna hate meh. I juss know it. I'd hate meh if I was here."

"Oli, apologize. I know its not yeh strong point but if yeh truly love her do it. She won't hate yeh. I know. Look. Let me text her. Find out when she's comin' I'll invite her ova. She wants ta meet Holly anyways and yeh can decide ta be a fuckin' coward or talk ta her."

I nodded trying to think of how that would go over.

The next day around 5 I'd say, I began pacing my bedroom floor. Tom had made the mistake of telling me last night she was arriving this morning and I've been wide awake ever since. She was stopping by at around 6 and the closer it got the harder I found it to breathe. I could do this. I need to this. Not just for me but for her. The next thing I knew the door bell rang and I came to a complete stop. My breathing slowed down and I heard Tom yell her name like she'd been away for years. My breathing quickly went from a stand still to a rapid rhythm. Her being so close made my chest ache. After about a five minute delay I gathered myself as best as I could and walked down stairs as casually as I could. Once I hit the last step my breath caught in my throat. Why was she so...beautiful? I watched her safely from my position. She laughed at something Holly was saying and I was hit with how much I had in fact missed her and at this moment I was glad I had at least taken the time to shower and shave today. I finally found the strength to walk further into the living room and the closer I got the more nervous I grew. Before I even reached the couch her eyes hit mine and I almost just turned around and walked away but I could feel Tom watching my every move.
I forced a grin and it pained me. Being fake was something I had perfected but hated. She didn't seem phased by my presence. In fact she smiled back and I swear it was genuine which stung a little. I just needed to man up and that's what I did which took not only me but Tom by surprise.

"Liz, can we talk?" I spoke up and she looked up at me and nodded slowly. I was now on the verge of sickness due to my nerves.

"Um, Hols let's go..." Tom said grabbing her hand and quickly running up the stairs leaving us alone.

"You know Oli, if you didn't like me you could have just told me instead of ignoring me, I'm a big girl. I can handle it. Promise." She said as she stood a mere two feet in front of me.

I narrowed my eyes together, staring at her like she was insane. Well, she was if she thought that!

"What?" I finally asked and she kept her calm exterior like always, "you heard me."

"Yeah but I'm waitin' for yeh ta say yeh jokin'." I stated.

"About what?"

"Bout meh not likin' yeh. Are yeh goin' mental?"

She crossed her arms, "well, no."

"Then don't eva say that cause I bluntly told yeh I liked yeh Elizabeth."

"Really? Fooled me."

I sighed, "I know I've been..."

"Sketchy? A bit rude?"

"Yes and yes." I agreed admittedly, "let meh explain please."

She sighed and stood there blankly. I assume this was her giving me a chance to explain.

"Liz...I juss...I mean...fuck. Look. The guys juss got ta meh and I juss got to finkin bout how this wouldn't work cause we live in like two different worlds and...I juss...I didn't want it ta hurt more than it did yeh know? And I know it would if we tried this cause..." I said nervously and I just spat out the truth, "cause I love yeh."

Her eyes grew wide and I kept rambling, "I love yeh. I can't help it and I tried not to cause I mean, I clearly have issues I need ta work on but, I juss...I dunno...I'm gonna stop talkin and try ta keep some of tha pride I have left, if any..."

I shoved my hands in my pockets as she stared at me which was making me mental. I want to know what she's thinking dammit!

"You love me?"

I nodded as I bit my lip ring softly.

"Why?" she asked like it seriously puzzled her. I stifled a laugh, "why not?"

She shrugged and I smiled, "yeh propa lovely, yeh know that?"

Her cheeks turned a light red at my compliment and I couldn't help but have a bit of hope in this situation now.

"I know yeh mad at meh Liz, I don't blame yeh I juss...I hope yeh forgive meh cause, I want yeh in meh life." I whispered.

"Because you love me."

I chuckled, "cause I love yeh, prettah girl."

She gave me a smile I had been craving for since this conversation started. She quickly filled the space between us and her arms wrapped around me. I sighed feeling like a hole in my chest was now filled as I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"I've missed you." She said into my chest.

"I've missed yeh." I whispered sincerely as I closed my eyes taking in how I felt at the moment which was easily summed up; happy. Finally happy.