The Sadness Will Never End.

I was surprised at how much I told her. It's like, once I started I couldn't stop. Something about her I trusted too much but at this point I guess it really didn't matter. It took a while for me to fall asleep but I held her tightly to me as she slept soundly. I truly believe she was sent to me to keep me from going mental because it felt more and more like I was heading in that direction. I finally fell asleep and was surprised that I didn't wake up every hour like I have been for so long in fact I was being woke up by Lizzy who was talking so softly I almost thought I was dreaming.

"Oli..." she said softly rocking me softly.

I mumbled something before rubbing my eyes causing her to giggle.

"How's anyone suppose ta wake up wif yeh talkin so low?" I asked my voice ragged from sleep.

"Well sorry I was being considerate."

I chuckled and closed my eyes once more, "I don't wanna wake up."

"You can go back to sleep on the bus."

"Yeh gonna sleep wif meh?" I asked stretching.

"If you want." She said and I grinned, "am I gonna get my way a lot now that yeh fink I'm a mental case?"

She laughed, "Hardly! I don't think that."

I groaned and got out of bed and quickly slid my jeans on and threw my shirt over one shoulder.

"I gotta go to my room anyways."

"Well hurry we've only got thirty minutes." She said sliding her feet into her toms and she was clearly already ready.

I rolled my eyes, "oh I got this." I said sliding my shoes on as well.

She giggled, "right. Well on with it."

I looked up at her with a grin, "Come here for a minute."

She rolled her eyes and walked closer to me. Her green eyes were bright today and I grabbed her waist softly and pulled her to my bare chest.

"Fank yeh for everyfing. Honest. I don't know what I'd do wifout yeh." I said into her vanilla scented hair. Her arms wrapped around my torso and I kissed her cheek right below her eye. I don't know why I felt so close to her but I did and I couldn't imagine her not here with me which terrified me.

"It's not a big deal."

"Is ta meh."

She stood up on her tippy toes and kissed my cheek.

"Go get your things."

I nodded and reluctantly dropped my arms from her to go to my room. I managed to be ready in 20 minutes and I met Lizzy and Matty out in the hall.

"Well that was fast."

"Told yeh." I said with a grin, "can we go? I'm propa tired."

"Did yeh sleep last night?" Matty asked. He knew I was having trouble. His bunk was above mine and he could hear me all hours of the night. I nodded as we made our way to the elevator.

"Now yeh tired cause yeh actually got a little sleep and its finally hit yeh." He said chuckling.

"I know. I feel like a zombie." I said honestly as I leaned on the wall waiting to arrive at the ground floor. My bunk never seemed as appealing as it did when we got on the bus. I dropped my things and headed straight for it. Of course once in I was exhausted but I couldn't seem to sleep at all. I sighed and covered my face as my thoughts started taking over once more. Just once I'd like not to think of anything! After I'd say twenty minutes passed by I gave up and opened my curtain.

"Where's Lizzy?" I asked Jona who's bunk is across from mine he pulled the curtain back and seemed to be in thought.

"Right here." She said opening the curtain above his and Jona rolled his eyes and dropped the curtain.

"Come here."

"You come here."

"Why yeh pick tha highest bunk yeh can barely even touch the ground on the first one."

She glared at me and I laughed as she got down quiet easily.

"You're mean." She stated as she got into my bunk.

"Am not."

"What did you want?" she asked with a grin.

"For yeh ta sleep wif meh." I said wrapping my arm around her tiny waist and gently pulling her as close to me as she would allow.

"I thought you were already tired?"

"I was. I am. I juss can't sleep alone. If I do I can't keep my brain quiet so I neva sleep." I said into her shirt as I closed my eyes breathing her in deeply. I felt so sane with her it blew me away.

"Ok." She said without question. Her hand running into the mess I call my hair. My thumb rubbed her side softly and I could feel her breathing as my body pressed against hers. I needed this, needed the feeling of being needed. And even if she didn't need me she was good at pretending.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked her finger tracing my jaw softly.

"Yeh." I said so bluntly as my eyes stayed closed, "and that's much betta than everyfing else."

"If you say so." She whispered.

"Mhmm I do." I mumbled finding myself drifting to sleep.

I woke up alone and it kind of took me off guard so I sat up quickly which made me slightly dizzy. I groaned and laid back down grabbing my phone to see what time it was. I was a bit taken aback by it saying 4 in the afternoon. I had slept for forever so I didn't blame her for leaving. I sighed as I brushed my hair out of my eyes and pushed myself out of my bunk. Clearly we were at the next venue because the bus was silent. Thanks for leaving me guys... I sat down on the couch as I stretched out my arms. Before I could even question anyone's location the bus door opened and Lizzy was walking on.

"Oh you're up." She said her amazing smile flashing onto her face.

"Yep."

"Did you sleep ok?"

I nodded as she sat a bag in front of me.

"You should eat."

"I don't eat..."

"Meat. I know. Therefore there isn't any in there."

I gave her a grin as I pulled out whatever it was she got me.

"Fanks love."

She nodded and sat across from me, "feeling ok?"

I nodded, "feel betta now that I've slept."

"Good."

I started eating even though I really didn't feel like it. I didn't want to seem like I wasn't grateful for her bring me something. Once half of it was gone I figured that would be enough to not seem rude. She was texting away on her phone and I watched her as I took a drink of water she had set in front of me. I wanted to spend the day with just her. I don't know how that entered my mind but I liked when it was just us. I felt good with her. It was the strangest thing.

"You done?" she asked I guess feeling my eyes on her.

"Yeah. Fanks again love." I said standing up and placing the stuff in the trash.

"Let's go explore." She said with a grin and I laughed, "where even are we?"

"Tennessee."

"Ah, the soufh." I said with a grin as I shoved my phone in my pocket.

"Yes. The south."

"Oh well, lets go." I said holding on to her waist and guiding her to the door. Its like she can read my mind I swear.

"You're more upbeat."

"Yeahh I'm feeling good don't ruin it." I said jokingly as I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the stairs quickly. She giggled at my action and didn't hesitate to follow me.

"Where to?" I asked with a confused look and she busted out laughing, "you were so excited and yet here we are. No where to go."

I laughed, "well, I live in England ya know?"

"Nooo. Really?" she asked placing a hand on her hip.

I gave her a grin, "yeah. Don't tell anyone though."

She giggled and linked her arm with mine.

"Where are the others?"

"I reallah don't know Matt walked meh here and then left once more."

"Yeh and Matty pretty cheeky yeah?" I asked the question I've been wondering for too long. I figure once you have told a girl you wanna kill yourself it's safe to ask her a silly question.
She shrugged, "I mean, were friends if that what your asking. I'm not too up to date on my british lingo."

I chuckled, "fine. Do you and Matt have something going on?" I asked in the most American voice I could muster up. She laughed into my shoulder and I couldn't help but laugh at myself because of how ridiculous that sounded.

"No. We don't have anything going on." She said her arm still wrapped around my own but her fingers slid in between mine and I couldn't help that weird feeling that took over me.

"Oh well yeh two are really friendly wif each otha juss assumed."

"Oh please. I treat him the same way I treat you." She said and that hit me the wrong way. If anything that stung a bit. So she treats me like she does everyone else? Well, that's cool...not.

"So yeh cuddle wif him too?" I asked nonchalantly and she chuckled, "you're sounding really jealous right now."

"Am not." I mumbled defensively and she laughed into the sleeve of my shirt as we stood waiting for that little man on the cross walk to change to green. I'm glad she found this amusing because I didn't. If anything I wanted to punch Matt's face in.

"No worries. I only cuddle with you." She whispered and reaching up to kiss my cheek right as we could walk.

Her hand laced with mine and she pulled me across the cross walk. Ok. I take back me wanting to punch Matty...lad can't help he likes a bird who likes meh. I couldn't help but smile to myself thinking that maybe there was something for me and her. Or at least it was me hoping there was.

"We're gonna get lost than how are they gonna play wifout their singa?" I asked amusingly as she pulled me down the sidewalk no destination in mind. But I didn't care, I'd let her take me anywhere to be honest.

"I'll have you back in time Mr. Sykes please relax." She said with a grin.

I shrugged, "I am. Juss makin a statement."

"I wouldn't dare let you miss a show. I'd have to deal with Jona's wrath!" she said and I chuckled, "I'd like ta see him try to yell at yeh wif me present."

"Awe. You'd protect me?" she asked stopping in front of me with a smile that caused my heart to flutter and her hand still attached to mine.

"Course." I managed to get out before my throat closed up completely. I don't know how the girl had this sort of effect on me. Never have I been shy or incoherent around a girl, until now and it makes me feel like I imagine a 16 year old girl would feel around the boy she likes. I bit my bottom lip as we continued our walk. Damn this girl.

"Can I smoke?" I asked with a grin as we came to a small I'd say dog park because well, there were people with nothing but dogs there.

"If you must." She said letting go of my hand as we sat on a bench.

"Not gonna hold my hand anymore if I do?" I asked with a grin.

"Nope."

I frowned, "why not? I smoke wif tha otha anyways."

"But you'll smell like smoke."

"Oh, so yeh gonna walk a good distance from meh?"

"Possibly."

"That's ridiculous." I said seriously debating on putting this cigarette in my mouth, "hey! You hugged me last night and I smoked!"

"You were sad!"

"I am now cause I can't smoke!" I said dramatically and she laughed, "no you're not."

I groaned, "Come on Lizzy." I said putting my best pout face on view.

"Oh no." She said covering her eyes with her hands and I tried not to laugh as I grabbed her hands, "Lizzy." I whined as she giggled and I kissed her cheek.

"Come on. Let meh smoke."

"I'm not stopping you."

"Yeh threatenin meh. Same difference."

"Its not a threat. Just saying I don't want to hold your hand."

"But I wanna hold yehs." I said with a grin as I held her hand in mine.

"Is it that important?" she asked and I brushed her fringe from her face, "yes." I whispered kissing her nose softly.

Her cheeks turned light pink and I pressed my lips to her once more. Feeling her skin against my lips was something I enjoyed too much.

"So I won't smoke." I said softly before pulling away from her before I really kissed her. The urge was becoming to strong.

"I'm such a life changer." She said and I laughed, "hardly!"

I said watching some old woman walk her ugly poodle and give me a odd look before pulling the dog faster.

"I love watching Old people look at you." She said and I looked over at her, "Oh the look as, he's probably killed 6 people and is nothing but trouble?"

"Yep."

"Yeah I know. Use to it by now." I said staring at my hand that was messing with my jeans. It didn't bother me really. What bothered me was the thought of her feeling like she doesn't want people to see us together because of me.

"Does it botha yeh?" I asked looking up at her as my hand fell into my hair like usual.

She gave me a grin, "No. I don't care what people think. I think you're awesome and I know you don't kill people...yet."

I chuckled, "Ok juss makin sure."

"Plus, I think your sexy." She said giving me a wink before leaving me on the bench alone, paralyzed by her words.

"Coming?" she asked turning to look at me. In more ways than one, trust me. wow. That was perverted glad I didn't let that leave my head.

"So yeh fink I'm sexy?" I asked my confidence a bit high now as I caught up with her in two steps.

"Yeah I do." She said like it was nothing. I grinned, "mhm ok."

"Going to hold my hand or not?" she asked and I chuckled before sliding my fingers into hers, "yeh so bossy."

"Yet. Here you are. Somewhere in Nashville holding my hand. Mhm."

"Silly meh. I did say I was a bit mental."

"But you're not really."

"Yeh too optimistic rememba?" I said with a grin.

"And your not at all. Another live lesson to take from me."

I laughed and pulled her into my side, "ohhh how have I eva lived wifout yeh?"

"I don't know. Must of been a tough life."

I laughed, "Liz, we reallah need ta head back even though I'd be fine walkin round wif yeh all day."

She groaned, "fine. Be responsible."

"Wow. Don't fink anyone has eva said that ta meh." I said making her turn back around the way we came.

"Yeah. I can see that."

I laughed, "wow yeh such a lovely bird."

"I try."

"Oh my gosh I need a fucking cigarette!!" I said loudly and she laughed, "smoke." She stated letting go of my hand.

"Butttt...." I frowned holding my hand out for hers.

"Well we gotta go back anyways and you can't hold my hand on stage."

"Yeh scared ta hold my hand in front of them?" I asked with a grin.

"No." She said rolling her eyes.

"Fine. Don't." I said sticking my tongue out at her like a child before I grabbed my cigarettes from my pocket.

As we got closer and I smoked happily I spoke, "I haven't had a good day like this in a while Liz. And I know all we did was walk round but fanks."

"It was fun." She said with a grin. I bent down and kissed her cheek before we walked across the street.

"Ew. Cigarette smell."

I chuckled as I threw my cigarette on the ground, "oh whateva." She began to sing softly but enough for me to pick up that it was a day to remember song. I couldn't help but watch her as we walked. Everything about her mesmerized me. The way her hair fell, her perfect voice, the way she walked. Everything. She had me wrapped around her finger and she didn't even know. And I didn't even think she cared really. Like Jona said, she's flirty and I shouldn't take her actions so seriously. But I can't help it. When she holds my hand, sleeps in my arms, kisses my cheek I can't help but feel as if she feels something for me. Was I right or just so in need of someone I was delusional? I prayed it was the first one for my own sanity.