Give My Heart To Him

Me and Lucian walked together to the AP chemistry classroom. We didn't talk much, I don't know why, maybe we both liked the silence. When we entered the chemistry classroom, I walked in first and Lucian walked behind me.

"Nice of you to be here on time, for once, Miss Stark. And who are you?" Mr. Simms said, speaking the last sentence slowly. He looked at me with the same hateful look he always gave me. But to Lucian he gave a look of pure loathing. For some reason, I hated that. I was used to people's hate directed at me, but I didn't like seeing them hate Lucian. I don't know why. Maybe I didn't want people to hate the only person my age who had ever been friendly to me.

"I'm Lucian Reilly, I'm new here," Lucian said. I smiled a little when I heard his beautiful voice coming from behind me. His voice was amazing, like a waterfall, the way the words flowed. I headed to my seat, in the back corner of the classroom.

Mr. Simms pursed his lips. "I see...well, there's only one empty seat available. Back table, next to Ava. You and Ava will be lab partners for the remainder of the year," he said. Then the bell rang as Lucian walked to the seat beside me.

The classroom was very long, compared to how it was wide. The tables were arranged in three columns, with five desks in each column. Each desk could seat two people. My seat was in the far back of the room, next to the wall of windows. Mr. Simms's desk was in the front of the classroom, farthest away from me. That's where he taught every lesson, and to be honest, it was difficult to hear him from way in the back. Like Microbiology with Mr. Galespy, I typically read the book to figure out what he was teaching.

Lucian took his seat next to me. He set his books down on the desk, putting them on the far corner. Then he sat sort of sideways, sort of facing forward, and put his hand under his chin, resting his elbow on the table. He was somewhat facing me. "Hello, Ava," he whispered.

"It's the back of the classroom, you don't really have to whisper, but hello," I said at a normal volume.

He chuckled. "I suppose he won't mind if we talk then," he said.

"No, he never really bothers people who talk," I said. Not that I really knew that...normally I kept silent during school. But he didn't appear to get mad when the preps like Stacy talked. Speak of the devil's skank, she was sitting in front of me, turned around, glaring daggers at Lucian and me.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked. "Aside from the failed nose job, I mean," I added. I heard Lucian laugh.

Stacy scowled. "Just the two emo fags sitting behind me." Then she fake smiled. "You two are like the perfect couple, both emo fags, you can slit your wrists together," she said.

I was going to say a sarcastic reply, but Lucian beat me to it. He pushed up the sleeves of his black shirt, revealing his arms. They had defined muscles, but that wasn't what he was showing her. "See, no scars," he told her. "But I can see the scars from that nose job. I think you've done more self-inflicted harm tanning and have plastic surgery that we've done in our lives." I put my arms out, baring my forearms to prove his point.

She scowled at us. "At least I care about my appearance. Unlike you hideous, pale, colorless freaks." She turned back so she was facing forward. The window reflected her expression so I could see it though. She still had the scowl on her face.

"You know, if you keep scowling, your face will freeze like that, and you'll be even more "hideous" than us," I said in a singsong voice. I could be a bitch when I wanted to, but I'm just going to rationalize it by saying that I'm sick of the insults and shit she keeps giving me.

She looked back at me and her scowl deepened.

Then Mr. Simms decided to start class, and he began a lesson on compounds. I couldn't hear him well or understand his attempt at fancy language, so I opened my textbook to the pages written on the board. I read through the pages, laughing slightly at how I already knew most of the lesson.

When I had finished reading, I glanced up to see that Mr. Simms was still rambling on and on about the lesson. I took my sketchbook out and started drawing the courtyard outside the window. It was beautiful, with a couple trees, a man-made pond, and several flowers and bushes. Once I had a rough sketch drawn and I was about to begin the shading, I felt someone watching me. I looked up to see Lucian watching me. I jumped a little, not expecting to see his golden eyes looking right at me.

He looked straight into my eyes, and it was like he was looking right into my soul. It was a little unnerving, but I couldn't look away. It seemed like an eternity before he spoke. "Beautiful...," he whispered, so quiet I wasn't sure I had heard him. He reached over to me, and my breath caught. He pushed a piece of my hair back from my face. "That's a good drawing," he said.

It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. I mentally kicked myself, of course he was talking to me. "Um, thanks," I said.

"Do you take art lessons?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, I've just always been good at drawing," I said.

"Oh," he said. He glanced at my music folder that was on top of the books sitting on my desk. "What do you play?" he asked, gesturing to the music.

"Violin, first violin, first chair," I said. I didn't mean to brag about the seat, but it was just part of what I said when the occasional talent scout at a music festival asked me what instrument I played.

He laughed. "What?" I asked, not understanding why he was laughing.

"I play violin as well. I was the best at my old school. I think you're going to have a bit of competition for that seat," he said, still laughing.

"I doubt it," I said, my competitive side detecting a challenge. I smiled. "I've been playing violin since I was five, I doubt there's any chance for you."

"I've been playing since I was four. I guess we'll see in orchestra. What hour do you have orchestra?" he asked.

"Next hour, fifth," I answered.

"Well, what book are you on? Assuming you play Suzuki?" he asked.

"Dude, everyone plays Suzuki," I said. "Book six."

"Me too," he said.

There was a moment of silence, then Lucian took out an iPod and started playing some music. I stole an ear bud. at first, I didn't recognize the song, but after a moment I realized it was "What If" by Emilie Autumn.

"Here you sit on your high-backed chair
Wonder how the view is from there
I wouldn't know 'cause I like to sit
Upon the floor, yeah upon the floor
If you like we could play a game
Let's pretend that we are the same
But you will have to look much closer
Than you do, closer than you do

And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore
And I don't care what you think anyway
'Cause I think you were wrong about me
Yeah what if you were, what if you were

And what if I'm a snowstorm burning
What if I'm a world unturning
What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep
What if I'm the kindest demon
Something you may not believe in
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep

I know you've got it figured out
Tell me what I am all about
And I just might learn a thing or two
Hundred about you, maybe about you
I'm the end of your telescope
I don't change just to suit your vision
'Cause I am bound by a fraying rope
Around my hands, tied around my hands

And you close your eyes when I say I'm breaking free
And put your hands over both your ears
Because you cannot stand to believe I'm not
The perfect girl you thought
Well what have I got to lose

And what if I'm a weeping willow
Laughing tears upon my pillow
What if I'm a socialite who wants to be alone
What if I'm a toothless leopard
What if I'm a sheepless shepherd
What if I'm an angel without wings to take me home

You don't know me
Never will, never will
I'm outside your picture frame
And the glass is breaking now
You can't see me
Never will, never will
If you're never gonna see

What if I'm a crowded desert
Too much pain with little pleasure
What if I'm the nicest place you never want to go
What if I don't know who I am
Will that keep us both from trying
To find out and when you have
Be sure to let me know

What if I'm a snowstorm burning
What if I'm a world unturning
What if I'm an ocean, far too shallow, much too deep
What if I'm the kindest demon
Something you may not believe in
What if I'm a siren singing gentlemen to sleep
Sleep...
Sleep..."

When the song ended, I said, "You know good music," to Lucian.

"You know Emilie Autumn?" he asked, surprised.

"And the Crumpets, of course. She's pretty much my hero," I said. "I can play most of the songs from Opheliac on my electric violin. But, I didn't bring the electric today."

"Too bad, I would've loved to have heard some of them on the violin, and that's awesome that you know Emilie Autumn. I've never met anyone else who liked her songs," he said.

"Well that's a shame. What else do you have on your iPod?" I asked. Then I stole his iPod and went to the list of artists. "Alesana, Apocalyptica, Asking Alexandria, Black Veil Brides, Blood on the Dance Floor, BrokeNCYDE, Bullet For My Valentine, Daughtry, Emilie Autumn, Escape the Fate, Evanescence, Eyes Set To Kill, Fall Out Boy, Fit For Rivals, Flyleaf, Guns N' Roses, Journey, Ke$ha, Marilyn Manson, Metallica, Muse, Paramore, P!nk, Queen, Rammenstein, Shinedown, Sick Puppies, Skillet, Slipknot, System of a Down, Three Days Grace, The Used, Vampires Everywhere!. and We Are The Fallen. Wow you know good music. My iPod is virtually identical, except I have Avril Lavinge on mine. She may be pop, but her music is awesome," I said. Then the bell rang, ending fourth hour.

"Looks like its time to find out who's going to have first chair," Lucian said, a cocky smile on his face. We picked up our books and headed to the orchestra room.