When Your Heart Wears Thin.
nobody will break you.
I watch them crowd around the body, around the figure that slumps in the center of the room. They don’t see me. They never have.
I sit and watch them from a corner of the room, my legs crossed and my eyes disinterested. Some people are good at acting.
The police and the doctors tell them to stay away, but they don’t listen. They’ve got work to do, and they’re in the way. Like I always was.
Alex is crying. Predictable. Jack is doing his best to keep himself together. And Rian? Well, Rian is just staring on in disbelief. I can tell. He was always easy to read.
I hear them throwing around words, presumptions, and I laugh shallowly. Words like ‘perfect American wallflower’, ‘domestic violence’ and ‘overdose’. If only they knew.
I stand. Move over to them silently, and sit opposite them, look at them across the body.
I’ve never seen Alex this distraught. I’m surprised. His tears run down his face and I want nothing more than to reach over and wipe them away. But that’s Jack’s job.
He begs, pleads with the body for an answer.
Why did you do it? What was so wrong you couldn’t talk to me about it?
I laugh. The cops and the doctors are discussing the ‘accident’ in the background. Date and time of death? May 5th, 4.21pm. Cause of death? Concoction of prescription drugs and alcohol. Evidence? Empty bottles and pill jars.
I follow Alex’s line of sight and lock my eyes onto the body. Eyes closed, head resting to one side and curls falling over his forehead. Cold. Lifeless.
Alex rests his hands on the chest of the body, and he drops his head and starts to sob. I reach over and rest my hand on the small of his back. He doesn’t feel it. He never did.
He looks up; looks straight through me. He sighs. Leans in, presses a kiss to the body’s forehead.
We should go. Leave him in peace.
They stand. Alex takes one last, lingering look at the body before sinking into Jack’s side. I want to follow them. Give them the last heartfelt goodbye they deserve. This will be the last time they will ever see me.
But I don’t. I can’t.
I sit with the body and watch the police and the doctors carefully. They begin to talk again. One takes brief notes.
Name of victim? Zachary S. Merrick.
Verdict? Suicide.
Possible motives? Unrequited love.
If only they knew.
I sit and watch them from a corner of the room, my legs crossed and my eyes disinterested. Some people are good at acting.
The police and the doctors tell them to stay away, but they don’t listen. They’ve got work to do, and they’re in the way. Like I always was.
Alex is crying. Predictable. Jack is doing his best to keep himself together. And Rian? Well, Rian is just staring on in disbelief. I can tell. He was always easy to read.
I hear them throwing around words, presumptions, and I laugh shallowly. Words like ‘perfect American wallflower’, ‘domestic violence’ and ‘overdose’. If only they knew.
I stand. Move over to them silently, and sit opposite them, look at them across the body.
I’ve never seen Alex this distraught. I’m surprised. His tears run down his face and I want nothing more than to reach over and wipe them away. But that’s Jack’s job.
He begs, pleads with the body for an answer.
Why did you do it? What was so wrong you couldn’t talk to me about it?
I laugh. The cops and the doctors are discussing the ‘accident’ in the background. Date and time of death? May 5th, 4.21pm. Cause of death? Concoction of prescription drugs and alcohol. Evidence? Empty bottles and pill jars.
I follow Alex’s line of sight and lock my eyes onto the body. Eyes closed, head resting to one side and curls falling over his forehead. Cold. Lifeless.
Alex rests his hands on the chest of the body, and he drops his head and starts to sob. I reach over and rest my hand on the small of his back. He doesn’t feel it. He never did.
He looks up; looks straight through me. He sighs. Leans in, presses a kiss to the body’s forehead.
We should go. Leave him in peace.
They stand. Alex takes one last, lingering look at the body before sinking into Jack’s side. I want to follow them. Give them the last heartfelt goodbye they deserve. This will be the last time they will ever see me.
But I don’t. I can’t.
I sit with the body and watch the police and the doctors carefully. They begin to talk again. One takes brief notes.
Name of victim? Zachary S. Merrick.
Verdict? Suicide.
Possible motives? Unrequited love.
If only they knew.