Beside You

She didn’t understand why she let the things Amanda say get to her, she didn’t understand why she almost wanted to believe her. Addy had went straight to Nicole with tears clouding her vision as she explained how she felt, and how being here was changing her life. As much as her heart pleaded with her to runaway once more, her mind wouldn’t do it. Her mind was denying what the heart was asking; did she really want to be heartbroken if what Amanda was saying was true?

“What are you doing?” the voice was soft, but she heard it anyways. “You can’t leave.” Addy’s movement paused as she turned her face to look at her new friend, Julia.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Julia kneeled down next to her. “I don’t know what’s happening, or what’s wrong, but whatever it is, I’m sure we can fix it. You just can’t leave, not again.” Addy never heard the tan skinned girl speak this softly before. The younger girl was loud in general and here she was just as quiet as Addy could be sometimes. It was different hearing a new friend tell her not to repeat the past with one simple statement.

“This is too much.” Addy’s eyes prickled with tears. “I can’t be this other woman, and I don’t know how many hints I need to drop for him to realize this.” Julia frowned as she wrapped her arms around the redhead bringing her in for a comforting hug. Julia didn’t like seeing her friend like this, and having one of her closest friend be the cause of it, hurt just as much. She finally understood how Amanda was slowly tearing everyone’s relationship apart since this tour had started.

First, she had cheated on Josh straining their relationship a bit.

Second, she had publicized Nicole’s pregnancy before Mike could announce it himself.

Third, she tried her hardest to get Josh to abandon his new friendship with Addy.

Fourth, she tried getting Julia mad at Matt for flirting with fans, when he really wasn’t.

And lastly, she was clearly causing heartache to Addy.

“Think of what you’ll do to Josh if you leave,” Julia tried to convince her to stay. “and Nicole -God, she’s about to have her baby soon, so you can’t leave!” Addy had forgotten how close Nicole’s due date was; had three months really gone by that quickly?

“Oh, God, Nicole.”

“See? You can’t leave again Addy, or you’re going to miss out on the important things…” Julia paused as she released the redhead from her hold. “Like Ian finding a girlfriend, Matt and I moving in together, Nicole having her baby and wondering if Mike’s going to cry, or you living your life with Josh.”

“Jules…”

“If you won’t stay because of us, please stay for Josh, he’s loves you, Addy, we all know he does.”



“I almost left today…” Josh pulled his head out of the small fridge and looked the girl who had managed to come back and steal his heart all over again. “but someone pointed out how important you mean to me.”

“Why would you do that?” his voice was lower then he meant it to be; he hadn’t realized his heart started beating fast when those words had left her mouth until there was a moment of silence between them. She wasn’t looking at him, her gaze was on the tiled floor on the tour bus; to her, that was the only thing that would distract her from looking at him. “God damn, Addy, fucking look at me!” She glanced up; he had never raised his voice at her before. Stepping away from the fridge to let the door shut on it’s own, he took her face in his hands. “Why?”

“I’m tired of fighting, fighting for you.”

“Fighting who, baby?”

Addy rolled her eyes, “Don’t call me that when you still have a girlfriend.” Josh’s hands slipped from her face when he realized why she was going to leave. And once again, it would be his fault. Her standing there, telling him that she was thinking of leaving earlier, nearly killed him. He hadn’t realized how hard it must have been for her to see Amanda around knowing that she was still technically his girlfriend.

How hard it must be if fans asked about Amanda, if she was around or if they were still dating, while she was basically sneaking around with Josh; if people only knew. “I don’t want her, you know this.”

“You can tell me all you want,” Addy sighed sadly. “but the fact you’re not doing anything about is really getting to me.” Josh watched as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and begin to lightly chew on it. “I’m sorry, but… it’s her or me, Josh, it’s time you finally decided who you want.” Josh’s blue eyes widened, knowing she was serious this time.

“Baby, you know I want you.”

“Then do something about it!” Addy pleaded. “Don’t leave me dangling on the edge if there’s no reason to be.”

Josh’s lanky arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close to his body; this is what he wanted, and Addy was who he wanted. Amanda was nothing compared to Addy, and if he didn’t break if off with the blonde soon, he was going to lose the one person he really had fallen in love with.

“I’ll break it off with her tonight.” He whispered his promise into her ear. “I mean it, Adds, she and I are over. Complete. Done. No more.”

“Don’t let me down, Josh.” Addy rested her head against his clothed chest. “Don’t break my heart.”