Beside You

Josh knew that Addy had followed him into the kitchen –he could feel her gaze on his back. He hadn’t meant to leave the living room the way that he did, he just couldn’t believe that she was back. Josh didn’t know whether to be mad, hurt, upset, furious, disappointed, or happy with her; too many emotions were running through his body, just as well as thoughts. As much as he wanted to turn around and take her in his arms, he couldn’t. He was still hurt from what she did all those years ago. She had hurt him bad.

“Can we talk?” her voice came out as a whisper. Josh felt the touch of her small hands on his back; though at first he tensed up, he welcomed the feeling of his best-friend’s touch. “I think we need to talk.” Her voice was pleading with him now. “I’m so sorry, Josh.”

“You left me.” His voice was dead. “You left me when I needed you the most.”

“God, Josh.” Addy rested her forehead against his back; he refused to turn around, he didn’t want to see the hurt in her eyes because he had hurt her just as much as she did to him. “And I will apologize to you until the day I die.” Josh missed her, there was doubt about that. Every day since she left, he’d imagine what it would be like to have her back, to have his best-friend back.

“I should be the one saying sorry.” Josh whispered, turning around to finally face his best-friend. “I made you run away from me. I was the reason you needed an escape.”

Addy looked up into Josh’s blue eyes, making her heart flutter. “I should have been supportive.”

“I should have stayed true to our promise.”

There was silence between the two of them, though it wasn’t awkward. Josh stood their taking in the new contours of her face and body. She was curvier than she was when she was seventeen, and he found himself starting to like that. Adeline’s plump lips looked soft enough to kiss –but he couldn’t do that. He had a girlfriend, and she was his best-friend. Her green eyes were more defined, and not the dull color they were years ago.

“It’s not your fault.” Adeline mumbled as she pushed herself into his arms. She missed the feel of Josh’s protective arms circled around her. No matter what she always felt safe. “I should have known something was up with you.”

“I shouldn’t have tried it to fit in.” Josh retorted. He knew that Addy was trying to make his addiction to Heroin be her fault, when she was far from the reason why. “I should have talked to you, went to you when I couldn’t stop, I should have told someone.” Josh paused. “I should have told you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Josh frowned, “I was scared of what my best-friend would have thought. I knew that either way I was going to lose you, so I tried to prolong it for as long as I could. I wanted you around before you left me.”

“I wouldn’t have left.” Adeline tightened her grip. “I missed you so much, Josh.”

“I miss you too, Addy.”

Addy stood there in Josh’s arms with her cheek pressed against his chest; his breathing was luring her to sleep since it was so peaceful. If Josh had the chance to listen to her heart, he would be amazed that something could beat so fast and loud. Josh was making it hard for her not to feel any different about him –he changed so much in the last ten years, that he was becoming her type, someone who she’d want to settle down with.

“Well,” a voice broke the two out of the hug. “this isn’t what I expected.”

Addy could feel Josh’s chest vibrate as he chuckled. “And what did you expect, Matt?”

“I expected some screaming, swearing, a few punches here and there.”

Addy giggled, “This isn’t a bar fight.”

Matt shrugged, “You guys cool with each other?” Addy and Josh looked at each other before nodding their heads and smiling. Matt chuckled clapping his hand on Josh’s back. “The three amigos are back together once again!”

Josh laughed along with Addy, “I guess, Matt, I guess so.”