Beautifully Broken

This has been so uncomfortably awkward.

Zak won't leave the room. He's just been sitting there on his bed, blasting what he thinks is music through his stereo. I know that Wesley is getting irritated but he's trying not to show it. Instead he glares at Zak, then puts down his next playing card. Between his rising anger and Zak's clear amusement, I've been so distracted by their probably inevitable battle that I completely forgot what game we were playing.

"It's your turn, Isalie."
I blinked and looked at the cards in my hands. "Uh... go fish?"
He stopped glaring at Zak and turned to me. "What? We're playing poker."
"But you only put down one card."
"I only... oh right." He laid out his cards and I did the same. We both had crappy hands. He laughed and grabbed the cards. "Maybe we'll just do something else. We could-"
"I could give her a tour of the house." Zak piped up. Wesley's jaw tightened as his glare returned.
"She's my guest. Don't you think I should show her around?"
"Clearly you aren't in the right state of mind for that since you're so angry. Besides, I've been here longer than you have - I know more secrets about this place."
"I know just as much as you do, and I wouldn't advertise how long I've been staying here if I were you."
"Hey, I'm proud of it. I just thought this would be a nice chance for me to get to know your friend, but if you aren't willing to accept when I'm sincerely reaching out to you-"
"Oh, just cut the bullshit."
"I think you guys should stop arguing and just shut up." I surprised myself with that. They looked at me. "Why don't... why don't you both give me a tour?" I said, my voice much quieter this time. They looked at each other. Wesley didn't seem to like that idea, but Zak looked pleased.
"Fine by me." Zak said and hopped off the bed. He walked over to me and extended a hand, which I took in mine, and he pulled me up. "Coming, Lee-lee?" He called to Wesley while we walked to the door. I heard him grumble before getting up and following us.

The house was completely dark and glossy wood inside. There were dozens of rooms along the dark hallways, and each room had at least two beds, some with a bunk-bed and a single or some with two bunks. The house had three floors including the ground floor. The ground floor was where the kitchen, dining room, living room, sitting room, bathroom, and some bedrooms. The second floor was just bedrooms, and the third floor had bedrooms and a library. The whole place had a feel that made it inviting and a little old and homey.

The whole time, Wesley held my hand and Zak had his arm around my shoulders.

So far, I haven't seen Zak acting 'evil' at all. I know Wesley and I don't really lie to each other, but I still don't know enough about him to be sure that he wouldn't lie to me. I don't know much about him at all. He could be telling the truth, but I highly doubt that Zak is the spawn of Satan, especially since he's been nothing but nice to me and hasn't even bothered with flirting anymore.

After they gave me the tour, Wesley asked if we could be alone for awhile. Zak said yes, but only if he could have me first since we may never actually see each other again if Wesley doesn't like me being around him. Wesley objected to it, but to keep the peace I just agreed to talk to Zak for a bit before going back to Wesley.

He wasn't pleased. He walked off in a huff.

Zak told me what it was like living in the house, and he actually made it sound great: you're away from your bothersome family, you have a woman who cares about you no matter what happened in your past, you have a decent amount of freedom, and everyone here pretty much stays together even though very few of them admit to being friends with others here.

He didn't mind telling me about his past at all. Both of his parents were drug addicts but he never touched the stuff. He was always starting trouble in school because people would talk about his family. Even a teacher insulted his family, and well, Zak came to school the next day with a group of his friends and they assaulted him. That's what led him to juvenile detention and he's been there a lot more times after that. He didn't get a chance to tell me how he ended up here because Wesley came back and said it was his turn now.

I laughed at the fact that they were fighting over me. It didn't make any sense though, since it's just me. Plus, Zak doesn't even know me. But Wesley is naturally protective so I can understand him wanting to keep me from someone he hates.

I waved bye to Zak. He grinned and blew me a kiss that almost made me stop dead in my tracks. Affection. It was too soon for him to be doing that. I know it's just him being flirty again, but still... flirting with me just doesn't make any sense.

Wesley gently held onto my arm and pulled me downstairs. I waved bye to Momma Trish as I was taken through the doorway. She told me to come by anytime, and I think I'll do just that.

We wound up in the car but he didn't start it yet. His fingers were tapping the steering wheel.

"What's on your mind?" I asked.
"Nothing. Did you have fun talking to Zak?"
"I guess. He's pretty straightforward."
"Anything else? Did you like him?"
I looked at him. "What, like did I think he was cute?"
"Uh, well yeah."
"He's attractive but he's not my type."
"Well, what is your type?"
"I don't know. I just know that he isn't it. I can't say I agree with you when you say he's a bad guy, but so far I have no proof that he is or he isn't because he was nice around me. But I'm still gonna be careful around him. Are you happy with that?"
He smirked. "Yeah, that's just fine."
"Why do you hate him anyway?"
"Easy. He's a menace. He goes out of his way to piss me off. It's like I'm his favorite victim. But the weird part is, I think that's how he makes friends."
"That is really weird."
He shrugged. "Ready to go?"
"To this mystical place that you won't tell me about?"
"Yes. You're gonna have fun, I promise." And at that, he turned the key in the ignition and drove off.

We drove for awhile, passing by the city buildings and identical-looking houses, to wind up out who knows where. We were on a dirt road and pulled up to a gathering of people around a bunch of tricked-out cars. I saw flames coming from a metal trash bin and instantly got scared.

"Wesley, where have you brought me?"
He grinned. "One of my favorite places in the world: the drag races."
"The what?"
"Every week, a bunch of people meet up to watch cars compete in a race down this dirt road. The car who reaches to finish line first wins. It's for only two cars at a time and they can't go off the track - straight line only. Sometimes they race for pinks, that means whoever wins gets the loser's car. Lots of people come out here, admittedly not the best kind of people, but it's fun."
"It looks dangerous."
"Do you think I'd even consider bringing you here if I hadn't planned on protecting you the whole time? I'm not leaving your side, I promise."

I bit my lip, not totally believing him, but the look in his eyes told me he meant what he said. I sighed and unbuckled my seat belt. He jumped out and rushed to open my door for me. I stayed glued to his side as we walked toward the crowd of people. I felt their eyes on me, staring holes in my skin, but none of them seemed to really care that I was there, I guess they were just curious.

A few people were standing in a circle passing around a joint. Two guys leaned against a car drinking from beer cans. One couple was making out against a tree, and looking at the car next to them which was rocking, there was another couple grinding against each other in there too.

I grabbed onto Wesley's arm tighter than ever.

"If I get hurt, lost, or violated, I'm gonna kill you." I warned him.
"Nothing's going to happen to you." He put his arm around my waist and pulled my close. "Come on, I want you to meet a friend of mine."

He walked up to a guy smoking a cigarette. He looked up, smiled, and hugged Wesley. I stood back and watched them talk for a minute. They seemed really close. Just one more reason why I felt out of place here.

Wesley came over and took my hand. He brought me over to the guy.

"Isalie, this is my guy Jesse. Jesse, this is my best friend Isalie."
He put two fingers to his lips and took out his cigarette. Smoke flowed out of his mouth. His gaze looked tired, but he still looked me in the eyes. He whispered something to Wesley, to which he shook his head.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Isalie. Wesley's always talking about you, it's about time he brought you along." He shook my hand. I noticed he had a slight southern accent. "Wes, man, why does she look scared out of her mind? I don't scare you, do I?"
I shook my head no. "Sorry, I've just never been to a place like this before. There's a lot of..."
"Debauchery?" He asked. Wesley snorted.
"Shut up, Jesse. I didn't actually tell her where I was taking her tonight."
"You mean to tell me you brought this sweet young thing to a drag race and didn't warn her about what goes on here?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling more worried by the minute.
He gave me a soft smile. "I don't mean to scare ya, darling. I just mean, well, this place may be a little too mature for you. You've seen the drinking and smoking and humping - people round here don't really care about being civil. Out here, the law don't bother them, so they let loose."
"Oh."
"Well, it's not just limited to them. You're free out here, too. No laws, no rules, no one to judge you, no one to tell you what to do. You can relax and be yourself out here."
"I... I already am myself."
He laughed. "Good for you. Hey, Wes, are you racing tonight?"
"No, I promised Isalie I'd stay with her."
"Good. I'd kill ya if you let her get hurt."
"That's what I said." I told him.
He smiled at me. "Smart girl." I smiled too.

A girl came up to him and started talking about cars, or at least I think it was about cars. I got totally lost in the machinery terms. But Jesse understood it all and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll help you out. You know, the race doesn't start for another twenty minutes. You two can wait here in my car if ya want." He patted the hood of his car before walking off to follow the girl. "Nice meeting ya, Isalie." He waved.

Wesley opened the door to backseat and I scooted in before he did. When he closed the door, the smell of the leather hit me. I don't know why, but I love leather. I sighed and relaxed into the seat, feeling content. Wesley rubbed my leg and bit his lip.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was taking you. I thought it'd be cool to take you to my favorite place because you mean a lot to me and I want you to know more about my life. I didn't even think about whether you would want to come here or not. I just wanted to get you away from your family for awhile, and I know this place is great for helping you forget your problems. Are... are you mad at me?"
"Of course not." I hugged him tightly. He hugged back and sighed.

After the hug ended, I laid back on the seat and closed my eyes. I truly felt at peace right now. I heard him move and and laid on top of me.

"No taking advantage of me." I said, my eyes still closed.
"Aw, why not?"
"Because friends aren't allowed to do that. Besides, you could never satisfy me."
"What? Of course I could!"
"Doubt it."
He growled and I just laughed. But then I felt his lips on my skin. They brushed against my neck and trailed up to my ear to rest on my earlobe.
"You think I can't satisfy you?" He breathed.
A shiver went down my back and my breath caught in my throat.
"I bet you don't even know what you like. How can you say I can't make you happy?"
"I... I was joking, Wes." My voice came out in a whisper.
He moved back and looked at me. "Am I scaring you?" I shook my head no. "Then... what's wrong?"
What's wrong? You're trying to seduce me, that's what's wrong. "Nothing. You just caught me off-guard."
"Oh. I didn't think it'd affect you that much."
"Oh shut up." I laughed. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

We laid there for awhile. I don't know why - maybe it was the cool leather seats or his warm body or maybe this place really does help you get away from your problems - but I felt totally at peace. Except for the fact that he was still breathing on my neck and it kept making me feel... I dunno... weird. Not a bad weird, just a weird that I'm not accustomed to. It was oddly nice.

I looked at my best friend in the rising moonlight. His features were so soft yet I saw his harsh expressions everyday. I've watched anger reach his face then pass away moments later. I've seen amusement stay glued on his face when he knows he's annoying me but not enough to make me mad at him. I've even seen disappointment when I won't speak. But there are still some emotions I haven't seen on him yet: happiness, sadness, love. When I see him have the same neutral expression everyday, I wonder what he's hiding from me. Right now, he just looks content, and I suppose that's good. He's resting his cheek against mine, his eyes are closed and his lips parted to let his warm breath fan my neck, his soft skin glowing as always. My best friend... I... I think he might be cute.

"Hey, Wes. Sorry to interrupt, but the race is bout to start."
Wesley looked up at Jesse. No words were said, but I'm guessing looks were exchanged. Jesse held up his hands in defense. "Sorry, man. I didn't know."
I raised an eyebrow at them. Jesse blushed and looked away. "Look, if you two need some privacy, then just say so. I just thought you might want to see the race tonight."
Wesley sighed and sat up. He gave a small smile in my direction and hopped out of the car. "Stay here for a minute, okay?" He told me, then closed the door and walked off with Jesse to the other side of the road.

I was thoroughly confused, but since Wesley is extremely hard to figure out, I know there's no point in hurting my brain trying to think about things.

Now that he had left, the coldness of the night hit me hard. I didn't want to sit in this cold car but it must be even colder outside. I wish I could turn the heat on, but there aren't any keys in the ignition - no wait, yes there are. That's convenient.

I crawled into the driver's seat but hesitated once there. Is it wrong to mess with a person's car when you don't even know them? I know he said I could stay in here, but I don't know if he'll be okay with me messing with his car. Another chill down my back ended my dilemma, convincing me to turn on the heat. Once it warmed up, I felt much better. Damn you, Wesley, making me wear a t-shirt and this thin jacket. I wish I had a real coat.

Through the window, I could see the cars revving up to race each other and the crowd drifted over to them. I actually felt excited about it now. Yet I was still confined to this car. I glanced around and saw Jesse and Wesley in the rear view mirror. After adjusting it I could see them better. Wesley looked extremely stressed out while Jesse was calmly talking to him. If only I could read lips.

I huffed. I'm cold, I'm lonely, and I'm missing all the action. If I wanted to be like this, I could have stayed at home. Screw this - I'm getting out of the car.

Or at least I thought I was.

I reached to turn off the radio but knocked down a water bottle Jesse had sitting in the cup holder. I reached down to find it, and I must have knocked the gear shift out of park in the process. At the time, I was unaware that the car was slowly rolling towards the road where the race was seconds away from happening. I didn't even hear Wesley and Jesse shouting and chasing after the car. It wasn't until I accidentally pressed my hands against the accelerator pedal that I even knew the car was moving. I tried to jump back up in the seat but I hit my head on the steering wheel. Now was not the time for my accident-prone self.

My head feeling dizzy, I struggled to find the brake, but I did find it and slammed on it hard. I held my foot there until Jesse threw open the car door and yanked the keys out of the ignition. I know I Wesley was yelling at me for being so stupid and careless, but he was quickly drowned out by the two cars zooming down the track, which sounded a lot closer than they did before the car was moving.

Jesse picked me up in his arms. My brain was actually spinning now, and I hoped that the dark spots in my eyesight were just shadows.

"Wesley, calm down. Now is not the time to yell at her for this. I'm sure it was an accident."
"Well, duh, I know it was an accident! But how the hell can you have an accident like that?! She almost got herself killed!"
"Yeah, and I would think that you would be asking her if she's alright instead of scaring her even more."
"But-"
"Shut up please." I whined. My head was already pounding and they weren't helping at all. I tried lifting my hands to my head but even that took too much energy. I just settled for curling up in Jesse's arms.
"Do you think she's okay?"
"Uh... no. I think there's blood on my arm."
"What?"
"We need to get her to the hospital."

I fell asleep.

I woke up in a bright white room and instantly closed my eyes. Constant beeping, bright lights, uncomfortable fabric on my legs. I must be in a hospital. Great. I just want to go back to sleep.

"How could you be so stupid?" I heard a voice that sounded like Wesley.
"Don't be so hard on her, she ain't even awake yet." The slightly familiar southern accent scolded him.
"I was talking about you this time. How the fuck do you leave your keys in the ignition?!"
"It's not like anybody was gonna steal it - I'm cool with everybody there. 'Sides, if I took 'em out the car, I wouldn't remember where I put 'em later."
Wesley groaned. "You're an idiot."
"And you're annoying. I've sat here and listened to you complain and insult everybody here but there's still one person here you have yet to blame - yourself. Aren't you the one that brought her there in the first place? Aren't you the one that left her in the car? Didn't you promise not to leave her side?"
"What are you trying to do, make me feel guilty? Cause I already feel guilty."
"No, I'm trying to make you realize that maybe this isn't anyone's fault. The doctors are doing the best they can, I've stuck by your side this whole time and called the home and her mom and everything, and yet ya still blaming everybody. Hell, ya even blamed her for being in the damn car! You gotta calm down, man - pointing fingers at people ain't gonna make her any better. Right now, you gotta focus on her, not what happened to her."
"I know. You're right, as always. I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about her."
"Don't worry, she'll make it - the doctors said it wasn't serious and it's only about 12 hours. Have some faith."
He sighed. "Okay."
"Why ya gettin' so worked up anyway?"
"I just care about her a lot."
"You wouldn't get this mad if I hit my head."
"Nope, I'd call you an idiot from the time it happened to the time you got out the hospital, then I switch it up and call you a dumb-ass."
"You're a great friend."
"You know I care about you too - you're like a brother to me."
"But because I don't have breasts I'm not important enough?"
"What? No! What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking bout the real reason you so worked up about her."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes ya do. I know it and you know it. Now, does she know it?"

Silence.

Long silence.

Ugh. How can you just leave off at that. What were they talking about anyway? I hate cliffhangers. Oh well, might as well open my eyes now.

The first thing I saw once my eyes adjust was Wesley. He was already staring at me, so I saw his eyes widen before a grin spread on his face.

"You're awake."
"Yeah. I do that sometimes."
He smiled and came to give me a hug.
"I'm gonna go outside for a smoke." Jesse said getting up. "Glad you're awake, Isalie." He left.
Wesley just smiled at me.
"What? Why are you smiling at me?"
"I'm happy to see that you're alive."
"I could've been dead?"
"You had a concussion and you got a couple stitches in your head. You shouldn't even be awake right now."
"So wait, should I go back to sleep?"
"What, no don't do that! You might not wake up!"
"So I shouldn't be awake right now but I can't go to sleep either?"
"Yeah."
"But I'm tired."
"Well, how can I keep you awake?"
"I don't know."
He sighed and started stroking my hand with his thumb. "Wesley, that feels nice, but it's not gonna keep me awake - it's gonna do the opposite."
"Sorry." He looked down. "Oh, why don't we play a game?"
"Like what?"
"I'll say a word and then you say a word that sounds similar to it. Duck."
"Why would you-"
"Play the game."
"Fine. Fuck."
"You could've also said cluck, pluck, muck."
"Shut the duck up."
He laughed. "Okay how about cheese?"
"Please."
"Keys."
"Fleas."
"Trees."
"Peas."
"Pea."
"We."
"Knee."
"Weenie."
"Beanie."
"Barney."
"Game over man." He shook his head.
"What? Why?"
"You never bring up Barney unless you're talking about the ultimate evil. You just broke the game - it's too traumatized to continue."

I laughed and ruffled his hair. I didn't like how it looked in the hospital's fluorescent lights - they made everything look pale and dull. He needed natural light to show his good lucks.

Just then a doctor came in. I didn't listen to what he said - I hate doctors. Wesley listened, so at least one of us would know what was going on. When he stopped talking, he gave me some painkillers, which I refused. He sighed and gave them to Wesley and told him to make sure I take some with water. Then he left.

"Open wide."
"No."
He groaned. "Come on, Isalie, you have to take some now before the pain sets in. You had a concussion and surgery - it's gonna hurt."
I already had a headache, but I was not going to accept the medicine. Swallowing pills was worse than throwing up.
"No."
He took a deep breath and prepared himself for the battle.
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
One time, we went on like that for two hours straight.
The only reason it only lasted a few minutes was because I was still feeling tired and didn't have the energy to argue much. My no's were getting quieter and slurred.
"Give up yet?"
I shook my head. Jesse came back in bringing the faint aroma of smoke with him.
"What's going on?"
"Isalie won't take her pills."
"Want me to hold her down?"
"What?!"
"Yes."
"WHAT?!"

Jesse was at my side before I could even blink. He climbed into the bed and pinned down my legs and my arms, and if this doesn't seem like an awkward enough situation, he is much older than me and I'm only wearing a hospital gown and my underwear. Distracted by my embarrassment, Wesley forced me to sit up enough. I still rebelled against them by turning my head away from him. His hand followed my head with a pill in one hand, a cup of water in the other.

"Damn it, Isalie, just swallow the freakin' pill."
'Unh-unh' I hummed, my mouth closed shut.

My head keep turning back and forth which did not help my headache whatsoever. Wesley put the cup down and tried to hold my head in place but it didn't work well. He groaned and tried to push the pill through my lips which didn't work either.

"Hey, what if I tickle her?" Jesse suggested.
My eyes went wide.
"If it gets her to open her mouth, I don't care."

And so began the torture. I bit down on my lip hard but it didn't last long. I started laughing and cursing at them at the same time.

Wesley rolled his eyes and tried to hold me still enough to pop the pill in my mouth. He put his hand behind my head, but because I was trying to fight him off, I smacked him in the stomach. He growled and lunged forward to pin me down but I was moving towards him.

"Take the damn-" Our lips collided.

The same lips that I saw every day, round and pink and soft on a hard-set jaw, were against my average, dry lips.

I forgot where I was and everything that happened before now because nothing mattered to me except his mouth on mine.

I heard him moan, and that's when he broke away, as shocked as I was. I heard rapid beeping and saw my heart rate was going crazy. Two people, my doctor and a nurse ran looking worried. Well, imagine what you'd think if you saw your hospital patient lying underneath a grown man while the whole room had their eyes popping out of their skulls and the heart rate monitor was beeping away rapidly.

After Jesse climbed off of me and awkwardly explained to the doctor and the nurse that they were trying to get me to take my pills, they gave us some odd looks, but realized that Wesley was still holding a pill in his hand and the rest of them were still on the table. They accepted our excuse but were still entirely confused, so Jesse walked out into the hallway with them to explain the whole thing.

I turned to Wesley even though I knew I had no clue what to say, but the instant I opened my mouth, he tossed the pill in and pressed the cup of water to my mouth. I didn't even get a chance to react. I swallowed the pill and rubbed my throat - so unpleasant. I didn't even want to speak to him after that, so I didn't. Nothing was said. No sounds were made except for the conversation out in the hallway and my heart rate declining in beeps.

After a while, the painkiller hit me and I started to feel a little loopy. Jesse came back in the room grinning.

"Well, I explained everything, and the doctor wanted me to tell you congratulations Wesley." His eyes widened and then narrowed into a glare, to which Jesse just laughed. "So, did you get her to take the pill?"
"Yes, and he's a total jerky-head for doing that!" I said.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Shut up, you dumb... hobo." I waved my hand at him.
"How am I a hobo?" He smirked.
"I dunno. You just look like a hobo. And you smell like one, too."
Wesley started laughing and Jesse just frowned.
I looked over at Wesley and stared at him for a minute.
"You're cute."
He froze and stared at me. "What?"
"You're cute."
"I... I am?"
"Duh, I wouldn't be sayin' it if it wasn't true."
"You've never said it before."
"Well, I'm sayin' it now. Should I not have said it?"
"I... I don't know."
I looked at Jesse. "You're cute, too. A cute hobo. I bet that's like a cute wittle puppy without a home. Oh, are you a wittle homeless puppy?"
He frowned. "I've got a home, and I ain't a puppy, and I ain't cute. I'm handsome."
"If you say so."
He glared at me, and I just giggled. "I'm kidding. You're very handsome. You both are. Handsome, handsome, hamsome, hanson, handsoap - hey Wesley let's play that game from before, the one with the fucking ducks!" I clapped.
Jesse raised an eyebrow but Wesley just shook his head. "Go to sleep, Isalie."
"But I don't wanna."
"You wanted to go to sleep before."
"Yeah, but that was then. This is now, cow, chow, plow... fow..."

He sighed and told me to lie down and then he tucked me into the bed. The last thing I remember just as I fell asleep was soft lips on top of mine again for only a blissful second.