The Rebel's Apprentice

I was the girl who's life amounted to nothing and counted for even less. I was the girl who suffered an identity crisis and turned to probably the one boy I shouldn't have. The one boy who was so obviously going to make it worse.
Everyone has their tragic stories. Mine is no particular exception, but at least I can say things got better after they got worse. They usually do, right? And as tragic and pathetic as my story may be, I'm going to share it nonetheless. So this is the story of how I nearly died because of that boy. And for some sick reason unbeknownst to even I, I'd do it all again. I nearly died and I wouldn't change a thing, because when my eyes finally opened again, I found the one person who had brought this on me.
And then I realised how much he cared.

He didn't realise that just his being there was the most significant thing he could have done. After everything that had happened, after all the doubt that crushed me, after all hope I'd had in him dissipated . . . he was there, waiting for me to wake up. And that was more touching than any thought out apology or over priced box of chocolates.
But so much had happened. So many terrible things. Things he'd talked me into doing that I would never have even thought about before. I wasn't sure how we could come out of this and how it would effect us and our relationship.
But right now I didn't want to think about that. All I wanted to think about was Ethan and the pained look on his handsome face and his hand that gripped to mine like he would never let go.
Yes. I was the girl who's life amounted to nothing and counted for even less. But to one person in particular, my life counted for everything. And that was all I needed to consider.



My school was a typical school. No exception. And just like the rest of them, It has it's little cliques. And, as the story goes, I'm not happy with the category I've been pushed into by others. You can generally guess the cliques by where they hang at lunch time. The jocks and cheerleaders hang on the bleachers. Right at the top. Getting a birds eye view of their kingdom and everyone in it.
The geeks hang in the library. Their sanctuary.
The Goths hang behind the bike shelters, throwing hexes on those who have judged them.
The rebel kids hang out under the bleachers, smoking pot, cutting class and disturbing the jocks and cheerleaders above them.
The stoners, who are almost always high, sit under a tree at lunch like some big hippy commune. And me? Well, I used to be one of the geeks who would hide in the library for refuge. Until I got bored of being unpopular and unnoticed. So I left the geeks. Deep down I know that's who I really am. Just a big dork who gets A's in every test. But what if I could be smart and popular? Does such a thing exist? I wanted to find out, so I went to the other cliques, to see if I would fit in.
The stoners said I could join their clique but they also said my purple-green complexion really brought out the silver in my eyes. I think they were a little high and didn't really know what they were saying. I went to the Goths. That didn't go too well. They just stared at me blankly as I slowly backed away from them. The jocks and cheerleaders? Well, it was worth a shot I guess, though I knew already that they'd shoot me down in flames. That left one clique. The rebel kids. I really didn't want to be apart of that. Some of the things they do. Some of the things you hear they do. And some of the things you know straight up they have done. It's not what I want to be apart of, so I didn't even approach them. I guess I was too scared.

I was sat moping in the cafeteria. I can't go back to the geek squad. I quit that. I want to be a different person. I want to be noticed and respected. I'm fed up of being 'that geek Alice who got an A last year.' it's not fair and I'm not happy with my life any more. High school is so bogus. Nobody cares if you're smart or can work out the square route of pie. That ain't gonna get me friends.
I looked around the cafeteria at all the groups of friends. There were a few popular ones in here mixed with a few ordinary kids. Maybe I could just be an ordinary kid. I mean, they don't get picked on. They're too normal to get picked on. I sighed. But I'm not normal. I'm a geek.

"Hey, Alice," called one of my acquaintances from biology. He put his lunch tray down on the table I was sat at and claimed the empty seat next to me. No one else would want to fill it anyway.

"Hey, Henry," I mumbled as I looked at his food. A sloppy looking burger and some greasy fries.

"How's the friend hunt going?" he asked as he took a sip from his coke.

I shrugged. "Unsuccessful."

"Oh well, I'm sure someone here will want to be your friend. You're a nice girl. You need to find a nice crowd to hang with. Like Hailey's group." I pulled a face. Hailey's group were too ordinary. I need someone who would bring me out of my shell.

"Who have you asked?" Henry enquired with interest.

"Everyone," I sighed. Henry frowned and grew anxious.

"I hope you haven't asked the rebel kids."

I frowned this time. "Why? What's so bad with the rebel kids?" I asked a little too indignantly.

"Nothing," he said evasively. "Their just . . . y'know? Not well known for their grades, lets just say that." I folded my arms, strangely finding myself wanting to fight for their honour.

"So they may not be as smart as us, so what? Doesn't mean they're bad people. They might just be misunderstood." Famous last words. "Everything you hear about them might just be a rumour."

"Alice," Henry frowned. "Why are you getting so worked up over them? They're scum."

"No they're not," I challenged. "They're just normal people like you and me. I'll show you." I stood up and stormed from the room.

I tried not to let my brain function too much as I walked briskly to the playing field, where the bleachers where located. That was probably a bad idea though, cause when I found myself stood before the bleachers, I froze. What would I say to the most bad ass kids in school? They seriously are hardcore. But they're envied. And respected. And feared. You just don't mess with kids like these. I wanted to be one of them. I wanted some rep. My status was currently set to loser and I wanted to prove them all wrong. I took a lungful of air, stood up tall and proceeded to go behind the bleaches.
I watched them a moment before walking closer. There was a group of four of them. Three boys and one girl. They all looked so cool and normal.
One guy had a messy mop of blonde hair. He had one foot on a skateboard, pushing it back and fourth. He was smocking what looked like a joint. He passed it to another guy.
He was a little taller with a leather jacket on. He had dyed black hair. He had dark circles around his eyes and looked hung over. He took a long drag from the spliff before passing it to the girl.
She put it straight to her lips. She had dyed red hair that fell lustrously down her back. She wore light grey jeans that fell loosely around her lower leg. She laughed at a joke one of the others said as she passed the spliff on to the last guy.
He was taller than the red head and the blonde but shorter than the dark haired guy. He caught the joint between his fingers and took a deep drag like a pro. He kept hold of it after that. It must have been his from the beginning. He had slim fitting jeans, not too tight, with holes torn at the knees and a plain white v-neck t-shirt. His hair was a dark brown and was shaggy. It fell in his eyes whenever he moved his head. He laughed at the joke too. None of them noticed me. Of course, why would they? I took another deep breath and walked over to them. The red haired girl spotted me first.

"Well, look who it ain't," she smirked, causing the guys to look at me too. All of a sudden I felt very self conscious. "Are you lost space cadet?" she asked in a patronising way.

"No," I said, trying to sound just a little bold. "I . . . I just um, just wanted to know if I could hang out with you guys, I mean you seem pretty cool is all and I-"

"Yeah, we are cool," the girl taunted, "Too cool for you. Now run long peewee. Shouldn't you be blowing up a science lab or something?" I rolled my eyes and turned around. I knew they wouldn't accept me.

"Hey wait!" called a male voice. I turned around quickly.

"Yeah?" I wasn't sure which one had spoken so I looked at all of them. The one with the messy brown hair, the whole school knew as Ethan, shrugged the red head off his arm and stepped forward to me. The girl glared at him and then glared at me. The boy stopped in front of me and smiled a dazzling smile.

"Sorry about Cookie." he gestured to the red head who looked away in distaste. "I think it's cool that you wanna hang with us."

"Y-you do?" I stuttered like an idiot.

He nodded. "You can hang with us if you want." I smiled gleefully and nodded quickly.

"I'd like that."

"What's your name, kid?" he asked.

"Alice," I replied simply. He nodded in approval. He put his palm to his chest.

"I'm Ethan." I wasn't sure why he told me. It wasn't like I didn't know who he was. Everyone knew Ethan Kowalski and his friends. He was probably the most reckless and dangerous out of all of them. Figures he'd be the one to bring me forward. He turned around and walked back to the others. I timidly followed. "That douche is Scott." he pointed at the blonde guy on the skateboard. Scott flipped Ethan off and then gave me a quick wave. I smiled shyly back at him. "This fucker is Zach," Ethan said, a hand resting on the taller guys shoulder. He nodded at me, a regular cigarette now perched between his lips. "And that's Cookie. She can be a bit feisty sometimes," Ethan smirked over his shoulder at me as he stood back next to Cookie. I wondered briefly what her real name was but thought it rude to ask so early. Maybe I'll ask Ethan when we become closer friends.

"What?" Cookie questioned like everyone had gone mad. "You're just going to let her hang around with us? Like she's cool enough? Like she's bad ass enough?"

"Yeah," Ethan said simply, looking distantly at the school. Cookie shook her head in disgust.

"You're not even going to make her prove herself?"

"Grow up, Cookie." Ethan rolled his eyes. "Leave her alone."

"Why? No one wants her here." I shifted my weight awkwardly like they were having a private conversation that I was hearing by accident. Ethan grabbed Cookie's face and made her look at him.

"I do," he said seriously with a hint of agitation in his voice. He pushed her away and she folded her arms.

"Fine. But that don't mean I'm gonna be nice to her."

"Whatever," Ethan grunted, lighting up a cigarette of his own. He offered one to me and I quickly shook my head.

Cookie groaned. "See? She's a total lameo. I bet she don't even drink." I looked at my feet.

"Will you can it, Cookie?" Ethan turned to her, looking pissed off. "Okay. She's my apprentice. How 'bout that? She's excused from not being as fucked up as you are cause I ain't taught her how to be, okay?" They held each others eye significantly for a moment. Cookie mumbled something I didn't catch and looked away from Ethan.

"Your apprentice?" Zach smirked. "Sounds fun. Cant wait to see your end results." he watched me with a look of mild interest as he polluted the air with second hand smoke. The bell rang, making me jump. Zach threw his unfinished cigarette on the floor, not bothering to step on it. "Okay I gotta go. Gotta test and Wilfred will freak if I cut again. See ya losers." he turned and walked out from under the bleachers and mooched towards the school.

"He's such a fucking stoner," Ethan laughed. I looked back at Ethan.

"Yeah I'm off too," Scott said, speaking for the first time.

"Oh, what the fuck? Pussy," Ethan smiled.

"I got gym," Scott shrugged.

"And?"

"I like fucking gym, you dick."

"Fine! Be a loser," Ethan laughed. Scott got on his skateboard and pushed off towards the school. I looked back at Ethan. Cookie kissed him on the cheek and gave him a suggestive look before leaving his side and walking away. As she passed she gave me a shove and I staggered back. I watched as she sidled into the school. And then there were two. I looked up quickly at Ethan. I gave him an awkward smile.

"Well, I best get to class." I turned to walk away.

"Hey!" I stopped and looking nervously back at Ethan. "No apprentice of mine is going to class on her first day."

"W-what?" I stuttered. Ethan threw his cigarette on the floor and got up. He walked over to me and slung a casual arm around my shoulders.

"Cmon, kid. We're ditching this joint."

"Are you sure that's a good idea. I mean, wont we get caught?" I panicked, like a loser. I thought this was what I wanted? So why am I backing out now? I cant give up. Not only cause I want these friends, but also cause I cant give Cookie the satisfaction of knowing she was right. Ethan, however, merely laughed at my statement.

"Not if you stick with me," he assured me. And for some reason I trusted him.



"So, um, where exactly are we going?" I asked shakily, still under Ethan's arm. He had another Cigarette lit up and took a long thoughtful drag as he gazed into the distance.

"We'll go to mine first. I need to get something."

"Oh . . . neat."

"Do me a favour, kid?" Ethan asked, releasing smoke into the crisp air. "Don't say neat. It's geeky. You're not a geek are you?" he gave me a look that said just-agree-with-me. I shook my head quickly.

"No. I'm not."

"Good. You're learning something already."

"I am?" I frowned.

"Yeah. You're learning to be sure of yourself. Be sure of yourself and then others will be sure of you too."

"Okay," I said shyly. We stayed quiet for the rest of the walk to Ethan's house. It didn't seem like he wanted to get to know me. The old Alice Harper is now a thing of the past. No point getting to know her.
We rounded a corner and came onto a run down estate. I felt scared being on this estate. I didn't like it here and hoped to god this wasn't where he lived.
No such luck.

"Okay this is my house," he said in a low voice. "You wait here. I'll be out in a minute."

"Wait, you're just going to leave me here?" I panicked.

"I'll be out in a minute," he repeated, giving me a funny look. I watched Ethan walk up the dirty steps of his porch and open the grimy screen door of his house. I looked down at my feet, drawing a smiley face in the dirt with the side of my shoe. I smiled as I admired my work. The smile fell and I kicked dirt over the top of it. I'm sure cool kids don't draw smiley faces in the dirt. God, I'm such a nerd.

CRASH!

My head snapped up towards Ethan's house.

SMASH!

Ethan burst through the door, looking highly pissed off. He now wore a dark blue hoodie, only zipped half way up.

"Fuck you ass hole!" he screamed.

"You're a fucking disease you son of a bitch!" yelled back a man in a flannel shirt with stubble on his face.

"Yeah?" Ethan jeered. "You're the one fucking that bitch." he was beside me now and flipped the man off. The man on the porch didn't look happy.

"C'mon, doll. We're outta here," Ethan said in my ear, taking my hand and quickly leading me away.

"Don't come back you little shit. I don't wanna see your face here again!" we were down the road now but we could still here the man's angry shouts. Hell, I bet Switzerland could. Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Mother-fucker always says that." he shook his head. "Sorry you had to hear that. But if you're gonna hang with me then you need to know I don't like my family."

"So you argue with your dad a lot then?" I asked, feeling brave.

"He's not my dad," Ethan growled. "He's just my mom's latest fuck."

"Oh," I said dumbly. What could I say to that?
Ethan let go of my hand once we turned the corner and he threw his arm over my shoulders again. We stayed quiet a moment longer before I decided a change of subject was in order.

"So where are we going now?"

Ethan shrugged. "We'll just mooch around I guess until- hey why don't we check out your pad?" he smirked. My eyes widened.

"Um, we cant. No, my mom will be home. She cant know I'm bunking. She'll be so disappointed." Ethan pulled a face at me like I was an alien.

"So? My mom tells me she's disappointed in me everyday. It's no big deal. You need to get a thicker skin kid. You'll soon realise that parents are fucking shit and all they care about is themselves . . . and when you're getting a job so they can sponge money off of you for booze." I watched Ethan a moment.
He must have such a crappy life here. I couldn't imagine hating my parents. He really seemed like a misunderstood kid. Maybe he acts the way he does cause his parents are total dicks and he's just had to toughen up? I bet he's a very deep and sensitive person underneath the hard, pot smoking, cussing, drinking exterior.

"Stop looking at me!" he barked. "I don't need any fucking pity."

"I-I wasn't pitying you . . . I was just thinking."

"Yeah? 'bout what?" he challenged. What could I say? You? How stupid would I look?

"Um, nothing," I stuttered quickly.

"You were thinking about nothing? Yeah, you're a bright one," he commented sarcastically. I didn't really appreciate it but I didn't argue the matter further. "Looks like we're going to the tracks then," Ethan sighed.

"The tracks?" I asked nervously. Ethan got a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"Yeah. You'll see."