The Rebel's Apprentice

Later that afternoon at Ethan's I begged him to not do this. He was sat on his window ledge, window open, as he smoked his last cigarette. I knew he'd be buying more. He stared down at his cigarette as I reason that if we got caught, my dad would kill us both. He said nothing the whole while. In that split second Cookie proposed we break into the school, something had changed in Ethan. Being the ring master of the group, he was expected to come up with the bright ideas. And, oh, did the ideas come, growing in his mind like an infection. He was the most stubborn boy I'd ever met, but I hoped, with this strange hold I had over him, I could convince him to reconsider.

"Please Ethan, think about it. If we get caught-"

"I'll make sure we don't," he said calmly as he blew smoke out his window. He was back to being a closed book and I hated it. He looked back at his cigarette, not willing to negotiate

"My mom loves you." I frowned at him in disapproval. "Don't mess this up." I stood and walked out his room. I didn't look back as I marched downstairs. He didn't follow.

"Alice," smiled Ethan's mom. I still didn't know her name. She glanced up the stairs and saw I was alone. "While you're alone, I just wanted to say thank you."

I frowned. "Thank you? For what?"

"For helping Ethan," she told me. "He's like a different kid now." she shrugged. "Sure we still have our arguments, but when we do, he doesn't storm out the house and go to the awful train track. He just goes upstairs and plays his guitar." My frown softened. "I know you're a good girl Alice, and you've really made a difference on him. Honestly, I think you're the best thing to ever happen to him."
I didn't know what to say.
What could I say?
Had I really changed him that much? I must have done.

"Does he still get into fights?" I asked.

"Who knows what he does outside the house," she laughed. "But inside?" she shook her head. "He's a different boy. What have you done with my son?" she joked. "My grateful Alice."

"Well, um . . you're welcome, I guess." I smiled.

"You're a special girl. He really cares about you." Mrs Kowalski nodded at me before disappearing back into the kitchen. I smiled to myself and walked to the front door. I heard footsteps on the stairs and looked round as Ethan approached. He was looking at the floor. I just couldn't understand how one minute he could be so open and confident and the next quiet and reserved.

"Come back," he mumbled, finally looking up at me. Mrs Kowalski was right. Ethan cared about me. Whether it was in the sisterly way he said or the way I wanted him to, he cared for me, and that was all that mattered right now.
I reached out and took his hand.

"I got a better idea," I smiled.



One hour later Ethan and I were relaxing in our wheat field, our flattened patch still flattened. The sun was shining again, but not as hot as the first time we had come here. Ethan pulled out a cigarette from his freshly bought packet and put it between his lips. He patted his pockets for a lighter. I watched him with raised eyebrows.

"Well, that's certainly not the smartest thing you've ever done," I commented. He turned his head to look at me.

"What do you mean," he mumbled through the cigarette in his mouth. I sat up and looked down at him.

"I mean the fact that we're in a wheat field and you're trying to light a cigarette. Unless you want us burnt alive, I suggest you put it away. This stuff is dry." I indicated to the wheat underneath us. Ethan took the cigarette from his lips and looked at it a moment before slipping it in his pocket. I smiled. I loved it when he listened to me.

"So when were you planning this break in?" I asked.

Ethan shrugged. "Dunno. Friday maybe."

"It's the debate competition Friday evening," I reminded him.

"Oh yeah," he smiled. "You still in that?"

"Yeah."

"I'll come along and watch you," Ethan said. I sat up again and looked down at him. "Really?" he looked up at me.

"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I support you?"

"Cause it's geeky," I said uncertainly. "And I'm one of you now, right?" Even after all this time, I still needed confirmation I was one of them.

Ethan shrugged. "Don't matter anymore. You've proven yourself. You're one of us. You're still my apprentice, I guess. But you're now granted the freedom to do as you choose."

"Since when?" I asked.

"Since . . . all the times you've helped me out. Like when I got kicked out and you put me up."

"You didn't give me the freedom of choice when I tried to quit," I reminded him.

"That was different," he frowned.

"How so?" I asked.

"I already told ya. You're apart of who I am now." That felt nice, hearing those words again. He was so different when it was just the two of us. He was so much more open with me. "Look, you don't have to break into the school with us. You can sit it out," he told me. "I wont think any differently of you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Cookie would love that. She wants me to chicken out."

"So prove her wrong," Ethan said, fingers beginning to twitch from the want of a cigarette. He didn't have one though. Not after I'd told him not to.

"But why, Ethan?" I whined and hated myself for it. "Why do you need to break into the school? For what reason?"

Ethan shrugged again. "No reason. Just cause we can. We're the fucked up kids who do crazy shit and get away with it. We don't have a reason to do the things we do, we just do them . . for fun." I sighed. Ethan fiddled with the piece of wheat between his fingers. His makeshift cigarette. I stood and pulled him up with me.

"C'mon. Lets go before you have a melt down."



I sat in the social studies room with the rest of the debate team. Mr Barry was giving us a motivational speech. I wasn't listening. I was biting away what little of my nails had grown back.
Chloe sat beside me, a concerned look on her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Of course I wasn't going to tell her what my friends were planning to do the following evening. So instead I just nodded. "Has Johnny come back?" she whispered. I rolled my eyes and groaned. I hadn't even thought of Johnny.
No he hadn't come back, but that didn't mean he wouldn't. I remembered how much that idea scared me and couldn't believe I'd forgotten about it.

I looked at Chloe. "No, everything's fine," I smiled weakly. "No johnny, so far. Just nervous about the competition." It was a lie of course. Chloe nodded but didn't look convinced. I couldn't blame her.
I'd love nothing more than to tell Chloe everything. To share with her, everything I was going through. My mind was a mess of emotions and I couldn't tell anybody.

"Are you ready to go on?" Mr Barry asked me. I looked at all the faces of my peers. They were expecting me to go and give the other team hell.
That's what they wanted me to do, so that's what I would do. I would debate like I'd never debated before. I stood and nodded and my team smiled. All I had to do was take care of the first round and I'd be done.

I followed Mr Barry to the gym and entered. There were two cloth covered desks facing each other and a small podium were our principal stood. I looked about the audience as I sat down. It wasn't a huge crowd. Why would it be? I noticed a lot of the girls present were wearing leather jackets and combat boots. It wasn't fashion when I told dad it was, but it certainly was fashion now. I was a little shocked that I'd started the school's latest fashion craze. Me of all people.

I saw mom and dad and a bunch of kids from school, including Henry. We hadn't spoken in weeks but he smiled reassuringly at me. I was grateful.
I sat down and saw an Asian kid sat at the table opposite. He wore glasses and his face was stony. I realised how nervous I looked and pulled confidence from nowhere. If you pretend to be scary, people will think you are, I told myself over and over.
I kicked the chair back from the table and slouched in it. I folded my arms and crossed my legs, my right boot resting on my left knee. I glared at the Asian kid and saw him doubt himself. He averted his eyes from my constant stare, but couldn't help glance back every so often to see whether I was still staring at him. I was.
I smirked devilishly and the principal spoke over the microphone.

"Welcome to this years debate competition. This year we have away team and last years champs, Fairway High school," The audience on their half of the gym cheered. The Asian kid smiled. "and competing for the title is home team, our very own Arvland High school." I didn't tear my eyes from the Asian kid and it unnerved him. I knew I was intimidating him."Ffor the first round we have Jimmy Shong and Alice Harper and your topic is," he looked at the card as he read it. "helping others fight peer pressure. For and against." I was against. I love being against. This was going to be fun. "Your time starts now."

"I believe that in order for our peers to feel comfortable in themselves, we must help them to say no to peer pressure," Jimmy began.

"But it's that not peer pressure in itself?" I contradicted. "'Say no to peer pressure,' what if they don't want to say no?"

"Then it's not pressure."

"Exactly!" I agreed. "I believe that peer pressure is an excuse. An excuse for the weak willed."

"You can't make an accusation like that," Jimmy argued. "This is a serious matter and our peers get pressured into doing things they don't want to-"

"Then say no!" I cut in. "Trust me Jimmy. I'm living proof that pressure doesn't exist. We do bad things because deep down we want to, not because somebody's told us too. Apart of our own defences is to say no to things we don't want to do. People only say yes to things because they want to do it, despite how they know they shouldn't. They convince themselves it's the pressure of others when really it's the pressure of their own minds telling them that this is the only way to fit in." I looked out over the crowd and spotted Ethan at the back. He was staring back at me thoughtfully. "But it's not." I looked back at Jimmy.

"So when we get caught doing bad things we instantly blame it on the pressure others put on us. 'they made me do it.' no they didn't. No one made you do anything." I was on a role and Jimmy couldn't get a word in edge ways. I knew I was no longer debating the matter of others but debating myself, having a mini revelation as I did so.

"You only went to that party because you wanted to. Not cause he told you to. You had that extra beer cause you wanted to. You broke that guys nose cause there was nothing you wanted to do more. It's only when we look back at what we've done do we realise how wrong it was. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to and hesitate, it's because you do want to do it, but wont admit that to yourself. If someone offered me drugs, I'd just say no. I wouldn't feel any pressure at all because I know, through and through, that I don't want to do it. There's no need to hesitate when you know for sure you don't want to do it." Jimmy was just watching me ramble, flushing. I was ridiculing him. I felt a little bad, but I had to say all this stuff, for my own benefit.

"Defend them as much as you want Jimmy, but the second they say yes, they deserve want happens to them, because it was just as easy for them to say no. But they didn't. Cause that's the lifestyle they chose for themselves," I slapped the table when I said 'that'. And again. "i]That's the way they want to live their lives. And that, Jimmy, is why peer pressure doesn't exist." The room was silent a moment. I was breathing heavily. Someone started clapping. I looked and saw Ethan smiling at me from the back of the gym. People looked back at him also before joining in. I looked at mom and dad. They were smiling as they applauded me. I looked at Jimmy. He was looking a little sheepish and looked up at me. I shrugged with an apologetic look.

"Nothing personal," I mouthed to him. He just averted his eyes. He was scared of me. Can't blame him. I did get a little carried away.

"Round one goes to Arvland High. Well done Alice." I smiled and stood. I looked back at Ethan. He smiled at shook his head at me. I left the stage and then the gym through the same door I came in from. I was greeted by a group hug from the rest of the team. They cheered me and I could see the respect they now felt for me in their eyes.

"Alice you were amazing," said one guy.

"Did you see Jimmy Shong's face?" said another.

"You were on fire."

"Jimmy was scared stiff of you."

"I bet they're panicking now."

"Alice," beamed Mr Barry. "You were fantastic. Fearless."

I smiled. "Thanks." I wanted to get out. To go somewhere, anywhere. I just needed some space away from all the grins. As nice as it all was. I was pleased to be apart of the pack again. But now I needed some time alone. "Good luck guys," I told them all.

"You're not staying?" they all began to ask.

"No, really sorry. There's somewhere I need to be. And guys? Kick their asses."
There was a chorus of 'yeah's and I felt like the captain of the football team.
I smiled at Chloe who was smiling back at me in a good-to-have-you-back kind of way.

I walked down the empty corridors. It was dark out, being mid November and past 7 in the evening. I listened to the sounds of my echoing footsteps. I stopped at the main doors and opened one. I looked out on the person I saw stood several meters away. His head snapped up at me with a look so rabid it made me scream in shock. I slammed the door shut and ran back the other way, not knowing whether Johnny had chosen to follow me into the school.

I stopped abruptly. I was running to find Ethan. To babble breathlessly that Johnny had come back for me. Until I remembered that Ethan knew nothing of my brush with Johnny. If anything, I should have been leading him away from Ethan, but did I want to risk getting caught somewhere alone with Johnny?
I decided the latter was the worst possible prospect and continued running to find Ethan. I knew he'd keep me safe, I just didn't know where he was.
I ended up running back on myself and skidded to a stop as I rounded at corner. Ethan looked up at me and so did Johnny. They were stood casually. Ethan with his hands in his pockets, in no way able to defend himself if Johnny attacked. Ethan smiled.

"Babe," he grinned. "that was fucking awesome. I think that Asian lad shat himself," he laughed. I didn't laugh back. I crept ever so slightly closer to the pair while keeping my eyes on Johnny. "You remember Johnny right?" he asked me. Johnny smirked at me and I nodded. I stopped walking to them, wanting to keep a safe distance.

"Ethan," I said carefully. "Come here." he frowned at me but stayed where he was. My eyes didn't shift from the wicked look Johnny was now boring into me.

"What's up?" Ethan frowned.

"Just come here," I insisted. He gazed curiously at me. My tense frame. My eyes locked on Johnny. My shaking hands. Something like realisation touched Ethan's eyes and he casually looked back at Johnny. He nodded at his face.

"Who broke your nose there Johnny?" he asked. My eyes widened. He'd guessed it. Ethan shook his head, his eyes turning scarily dark. "I'm going to fucking kill you," he told Johnny, who squared up his shoulders to Ethan's.

"No!" I shouted as Ethan swung at Johnny. I couldn't intervene. Punches were thrown all over the place and I was pretty sure one would hit me if I got close enough.

"I'm going to rip your fucking heart out," I heard Ethan growl from within the brawl. "And then I'm going to stamp on it. Then I'm going to shit on it!"

"Ethan stop!" I shouted, backed against the locker for nothing more than support.
Johnny lunged and pinned Ethan against the lockers. I looked at them, fear and horror in my eyes.

"What's your problem?" Johnny accused. Ethan span and had Johnny against the lockers now.

"You hurt her!" he roared, slamming Johnny's head into the locker. "You fucking hurt her!"

"It was self defence!" spat Johnny venomously.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" Ethan shouted. "YOU HURT HER!" Ethan slammed his head again into the lockers. "You hurt anyone," he told him dangerously. "But you don't hurt her, got it?" I watched Ethan. He was a different boy. He was scary. I watched him smash Johnny's head into the lockers again with tears in my eyes. Blood began to leave its mark on the lockers from Johnny's head. "What did you do to her?" Ethan demanded. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?"

People from the gym started to flood into the hallway. I shut my eyes in despair. As if in slow motion, I saw dad running, shouting. I didn't hear his words.
Dad ripped Ethan away from Johnny and Ethan tried to kick him, still slumped against the lockers. He struggled against dad's grip.

"I'LL KILL YA!" he screamed. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU JOHNNY! YOU HEAR ME? I'LL KILL YOU!"
Dad escorted Ethan away, roughly. He took him to a room Mr Barry had hurriedly unlocked. The principal toed Johnny to another room. Johnny looked like he'd seen better days. I looked up and found everyone's eyes on me. Mom, Chloe, Henry, Jimmy Shong, everyone. They just stared at me as I wiped my eyes. Mr Barry placed a hand on my shoulder and took me to his office.
This was going to be a long night.



I pulled my knees tighter against my chest and refused to look at Mr Barry. I hadn't listened to a single word he'd said but assumed it was about Ethan and why I never got counselling from him during my moment of confusion. Tears continued to slip from my eyes. All I could think about was Ethan. He was savage and he was shut up somewhere with dad. I knew it was the end. The end of me and Ethan. With dad thinking he's my boyfriend, I'd never be allowed to see him again. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't bare that thought. It made my head hurt. Made my heart hurt. It was the worst case scenario and it's what I fully expected.

". . . but I thought you were past this Alice," Mr Barry continued like a trooper. "We had a talk. You said you'd change. You said you wouldn't be friends with the likes of Ethan Kowalski. I mean, I don't have to tell you that he's a bad kid. But you're such a good student Alice, why would you throw it all away? I understand if you're confused-"

"I'm not confused, okay!" I shouted back, swiping the tears from my cheeks. "Ethan is my friend and he's good. I've changed him, I know I have!"

Mr Barry shook his head. "You can't try and convince yourself that Ethan can ever change-"

"I did!" I shouted. "I changed him. He's a better person now. Don't take that away from me." my voice was almost pleading. Mr Barry sighed and sat beside me on his couch.

"I don't know how he's done this to you Alice, honestly. He's ensnared you in his ways and now you're trapped." I shook my head in disgust looking away from him. "What is he promising you Alice?"

"What?"

"What is he enticing you with? Freedom? No rules or boundaries? Or love? Is that it? Is he promising you love?"

"He never promised me anything," I whispered, too tired and too hurt to want to shout anymore. "Ethan cares about me because I'm his friend."

"How can you know that Alice? How can you know that a boy like Ethan is even capable of caring?"

"He's only human. A misunderstood one at that. He cares about me. That boy Johnny? He hurt me about a week ago. I never told Ethan. He found out tonight and hurt Johnny back. He hurt him cause he was angry. Angry that Johnny had hurt me."

"Where did he hurt you?" Mr Barry asked. I pushed my fringe up and Mr Barry sucked in his breath at the slowly healing gash on my head. It was now just a long scab.

"So this is where the rumours came from?" he asked, understanding a little. I nodded.

"It was never Ethan. Ethan would never let anything bad happen to me, and if it does," I shrugged. "He makes bad things happen back."
Mr Barry sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"He's with the principal."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Yes," said Mr Barry simply. The door opened and it was dad. He wouldn't look directly at me. He looked at Mr Barry as he spoke.

"I called the station and someone came to collect Johnny. The principal wants to see Alice." he then left and I felt tears well up in my eyes again.

"Lets go." Mr Barry stood and so did I. He lead me down the corridor and into the brightly lit office of the principal. Ethan was the first thing I saw, naturally. He was looking a little worse for wear with a bloodied nose, a split eyebrow and a fresh bruise around his left eye. He looked up at me and stood.

"Mr Barry, could you take Ethan away while we talk with Alice?" asked the principal, a frown creasing his brow. I noticed then that dad was in the room. Ethan walked over to us and instinctively I threw my arms around him. He nervously eyed the principal and dad before realising he didn't give a shit what they thought and held me back. Mr Barry tried to break us up but this only made me tighten my grip on Ethan. I cried into his chest and it was the only chest I wanted to cry into.

"Alice . ." I heard Ethan whisper into my hair. It was all he needed to say, and my heart ached with fury and passion rolled into one.
Getting sick of the sight of us, dad eventually prised us apart. Ethan smiled regretfully at me and it didn't even come close to reaching his eyes.
Mr Barry led Ethan away and I was told to take a seat. I did so.
Dad had his notebook out. I was going to be interrogated. No doubt they tried it on Ethan but he doesn't remember anything.
It was time to fess up and take responsibility for what I'd done and I'd make sure to paint Ethan in a good light, excluding any information that might get him arrested or worse, expelled.
I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for a while.