The Rebel's Apprentice

By Tuesday afternoon, the schools gossip was once again about Ethan and I. Everyone now knew that we were having problems and, knowing our 'relationship' was on the rocks, any girl and every girl flirted like crazy with Ethan. When it was announced publicly with a bit of PDA that we were dating, you could almost here the sound of every girl's heart in school break. I'd been suffering death glares for months now and even though these girls were supposedly trying it on with my fake boyfriend, I still got the dirty looks for 'hurting him'.
Hurting him? He hurt me! Glare at him!
I was sick of it. So sick of it that I was the one to escort Zach away from third period this time. We sat behind the school in our normal place and Zach smoked a cigarette.

“So how's things with you and Pam?” I asked conversationally.

Zach nodded. “We're good, actually. We're thinking of going steady.”

“That's great,” I beamed.

He nodded again. “Funny that. I never thought she'd be interested in a guy like me. Makes me wanna . . . y'know? Be a better person for her.”

“What you talking about Zach? You're a lovely person.”

“But we do some bad shit sometimes. Not saying I'm going to change. Just might try and quit a few things.”

“Like drugs?” I asked.

”Yeah. I ain't smoked pot since dating Pam.”

“That's fantastic. Well done,” I congratulated.

“Yes,” Zach agreed. “But you didn't bring me back here to talk about Pam, Did you?” he looked me in the eye and I sighed and lowered mine.

''I've lost him, haven't I?” I asked sheepishly, afraid of the answer.

“You couldn't lose him if you tried.” Zach scoffed. “Seriously, birdie, you're important to him. You're special to him. He doesn't say why, but you clearly are. You're the favourite.”

“He tells you about everything right?” I asked hopefully.

Zach nodded, exhaling his smoke. ”Everything but you, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” I sighed in defeat.

“All I know,” Zach answered honestly. “Is that Ethan cares about you. I don't know how much. But from just observing how he acts around you, I'm guessing a lot.”

“Acts around me?” I protested. “He's a total dick to me.” Zach laughed heartily.

“Yeah, he can be. But it's a defence mechanism. He doesn't want to get hurt again.” I thought of Cookie right then.

“What happened with him and Cookie?”

“I told you birdie,” Zach pointed his cigarette at me. “Thin ice. 'tread carefully.” Zach put his cigarette to his lips before removing it. “It's not my story to tell. But I'll tell you one thing. She broke his little heart and he'll never forgive her.”

I watched Ethan from a distance. We were in the shade of the bleachers once again and I leant against their foundations. Zach was sat on the grass, watching Pam practise a cheer with the other cheerleaders. I wondered when we'd get to meet her. Scott and Cookie were stood together talking, joking, possibly even flirting. I watched Ethan as he discreetly watched Cookie bat her eyelashes at his friend. His jaw clenched and he lowered his eyes to his cigarette. I wondered whether I'd ever find out what happened between him and Cookie. Ethan threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped over to me. He threw his arm across my shoulders and I noticed Cookie glance up at us. She had been alright with me the past few days. No sour looks or snide comments. But, just as I thought, there they were. Those dark looks reserved only for me were back. Ethan smirked and looked away. I felt my own jaw clench and shrugged Ethan's arm from my shoulders. I wouldn't be used to make someone jealous. I did a lot of things for Ethan. But I wouldn't do that. He frowned at me and I walked away.
Ethan followed and span me round to look at him.

“What the fuck's your problem?” he accused.

“I'm not your girlfriend when it suits you Ethan,” I hissed and he let go of me. I turned my back on him and heard him sigh in agitation. I couldn't have cared less.
I took about three steps before I noticed something in my way.
I stared at all the eyes staring back at me and felt a twinge of fear in me.

“Alice,” I heard Ethan say in a level voice behind me. “Get back.” I obeyed without question and stepped backwards behind Ethan. He stood protectively in front of me and took the full power of the basketball team's glares.
Ethan smirked at Jordy Dawson, stood in front of his team. This wasn't good. Jordy stepped forward.

“Nice limp, Jordy,” Ethan mocked. “That thing designer?”

“Well maybe you should try one and see for yourself,” he quipped back.

“Hmm,” Ethan mused. “Now, I know you didn't just threaten me. Because that,” he paused, and Zach, Scott and Cookie stood around him. “Would be really dumb.”

“Your gang of freaks don't scare us,” called out an idiot jock from behind Jordy.

“You broke my leg,” Jordy growled. “I only want to repay the favour, and then maybe double it.” Ethan looked down at both his legs, totally unfazed by Jordy's threats.

“Tempting offer, but I actually use these things. Besides. You got what you long deserved, Dawson.”

“How did I deserve that?” he snapped.

Ethan paused, his eyes grew dark. “You hurt her,” he growled, sounding a lot like he did the night Johnny returned.
Jordy's eyes landed on me, stood just behind Ethan. He glared hard at me. I felt like I could almost read his mind through his eyes. Her fault, he was thinking. It's all her fault. Ethan must have seen the same because he held his open hand out behind him and I took it gratefully.

“Why don't you fuck wits go terrorise someone who is actually threatened by you,” Cookie retorted to them, folding her arms. I had to admit it. She was was brilliant. She was fearless. Like Ethan, nothing scared her. Her stance said she was ready for a fight and her smirk said she'd enjoy it.

“I'll do just that,” Jordy replied with a sickening grin, eyes darting back to me before they all turned to leave.

“Losers,” Zach sighed, walking the other way.

“Fucking nerve of the guy,” Ethan muttered, still holding my hand. “I ought to go after him really, shouldn't I?”

“No!” I quickly cut in, gripping Ethan's hand and pulling him back under the bleachers. “No, just leave him.” Ethan stared at me before sighing and nodding. I still had some kind of power of him, and I clutched at that with everything I had.

The following afternoon at the end of school, I stood with Ethan in the corridor. After our slight run in with the basketball team, Ethan had been over protective of me and stuck by me like glue. It was like he flipped a switch and now he was back to being compassionate fake boyfriend. He was so difficult. I could never understand what it was Ethan wanted from me exactly. It seemed like he wanted to be close to me physically, but the second I try and get close emotionally, he'd pull back and tell me I have no right. Yes, difficult was definitely a word reserved for Ethan Kowalski.
He pulled me into a hug and neither one of us paid attention to the looks we got from other students.

“Seriously,” I laughed. “I'll be fine.” Ethan grumbled but said nothing coherent. “I'll be in a room full of people,” I assured him.

“It seems like all you ever do now is go to these debate meetings,” he moaned.

“Well, they are every week. And I always used to go before I met you.”
Ethan sighed and let go of me, only keeping hold of my wrists. He stared at me a moment.

“I'm not . . .” he seemed to wrestle for the right word, pouting lightly as he thought. I smiled gently at the sight. “. . possessive,” he settled with. “I want you to do things you want to do . . I just want you to be safe.2

I smiled and touched his face. ”I know. And thank you.” I was a little surprised Ethan felt the need to tell me that. He was turning a corner and I was turning it with him.
Reluctantly and with a subtle frown, Ethan let go of my hands and we parted ways.
I glanced over my shoulder at him as he strode away, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. I sighed happily. He was perfect. He truly was. There was no one else I wanted more than him. I loved him, despite his flaws. I loved his flaws. To me they were merely aspects of his personality. Everything he did and probably shouldn't do built up his character. They made him who he was. The person I had grown so devastatingly fond of.
I didn't want him to change anymore. He didn't need to become a better person. He was already that better person, all I had to do was find him. Ethan was wonderful. But he had trapped that wonderfulness within his alcohol and drug abuse. I was slowly bringing it back out in him and he was being more honest and more caring everyday.

I walked into the social studies room and found the debate team all looking up at me. They said nothing and all looked a little nervous. I smiled to show I meant no harm and took my seat. They continued to look nervous while averting their eyes. Mumbles began around the group and I looked between all of them.
Chloe eventually appeared beside me. She also held this strange look of worry in her eyes.

“What's going on?” I asked her. “Are we not allowed to enter the regionals or something?”

Chloe shook her head. “No, it's not that . .”

“Then what's up with everyone?”

“Some of us are, um . . .” she hesitated. “ . . having problems.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “What kind of problems?” I pressed.

Chloe lowered her eyes. “Jordy Dawson and the basketball team are causing trouble with us.”
I sighed and shut my eyes.
“Why don't you fuck wits go terrorise someone who is actually threatened by you,” Cookie had said. Jordy shot a sickening grin my way and said 'I'll do just that.”
I didn't think he meant my friends.

“Jordy told us,” Chloe continued, “That if we had a problem with it, to tell you.”

“Me, personally?” I wondered. I never broke his leg. Chloe nodded.

“Ethan you dick,” I sighed. This wouldn't be happening, of course, if Ethan was never stupid enough to break Jordy's leg. “Why do I always have to clean up your messes?” To Chloe I said, “Don't worry I'll take care of this.”

“How?” Chloe asked helplessly and desperately. “How could you possibly stop them on your own?”

“I said don't worry,” I repeated and, with a sigh, Chloe left the conversation there. With the knowledge that I was going to fix things, the rest of the team started to talk about debate team topics and a few even chanced a smile or two.
Through the whole meeting my mind repeated Chloe's words. How could I stop them on my own?
Answer: I couldn't.
But I wouldn't let that stop me. I had to try.

Before the end of the meeting, when Ethan would come back for me, I left early and quickly. I told the rest of the team that I was going to take care of their problem. Chloe didn't want to let me leave but I gave her instructions I expected her to follow. Those instructions where, don't tell Ethan. I didn't want anymore legs broken. I wanted to take care of this the sensible way.
I'd heard of places the basketball team went after school to train when the school shut and walked to the first of three possible locations. The first was in the local park. There was a half size court there but I found the park empty when I arrived.
The next location was nearby, outside the sports complex. I gratefully found them here. The last location was the private sports club they were members off. If they were there, I would never have gotten in to speak to them.
Instead I watched them from a distance as I thought about what to say. They hadn't yet noticed me which meant I still had time to leave if I so chose. But I knew I couldn't. I had to do this for my friends. I had to do anything to help them.

I stepped onto the basketball court and approached. The closer I got, the more of them noticed me. Jordy looked up and grinned evilly.

“Well, looky who we got here guys,” taunted Jordy as I stopped several feet away. The team began to surround me but I stood my ground and maintained my cool. “It's Kowalski's little whore,” he growled, grin long lost. His eyes burned into me. “Has the chickenshit sent you to clean his mess?” Jordy limped forward to me and glared in my face. “Maybe I'll break your legs instead and we'll call it even.” I almost considered it. But knowing Ethan, Jordy breaking both my legs would only make him more angry and make things worse.
I said nothing as Jordy looked me up and down with disgust.

“What the hell do you want?” he demanded. I took a deep breath.

“I came to talk. To maybe negotiate,” I answered. Jordy smirked and a few members of his team sniggered.

“Negotiate what?” he asked with that horrible grin again.

“I want you to leave all my friends in the debate team alone.”

“And what are you going to give me in return?” Jordy asked.

“What do you want?” Jordy rubbed his chin as he thought. His eyes stayed on me.

“You're not really going to negotiate with her are you?” asked Greg Holmes. I briefly wondered how he reacted when he found that big scratch down the length of his car. I fought the smile from my lips and remained composed.

“This could be fun, guys.” Jordy looked around his team. '”Think about it.' They tried to work out what he was thinking and so was I. “What's the most important thing to Ethan Kowalski?” We all continued to wonder. “What's the one thing he wouldn't want to lose to anybody, let alone me?” I swallowed the lump in my throat and clenched my clammy hands into fists. Jordy's eyes met mine. “How much do you want us to leave your friends alone?” I licked my lips. We both knew the answer to that question.

“Just tell me what you want and you'll get it,” I said in a low and quiet voice. Jordy's smirk widened. “I want to humiliate Ethan Kowalski. Unless you what your friends on the debate team to deal with this lot,” he motioned to the basketball team. “You'll help me.” I bit my lip and lowered my eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked regretfully. Humiliate Ethan was the last thing I wanted to do. I loved him. But what choice did I have?

“Tomorrow at school, get Ethan in a crowded area, like the hallway, and dump him.”

I frowned. “Huh?”

Jordy nodded with that smirk still. “Yeah, break up with him and tell him I'm your boyfriend now.” My eyes widened. “And when you're done, you report to me. Got it?”
I had to break up with Ethan? He'd never forgive me. “And,” Jordy added. “You have to make it look convincing. If Kowalski suspects that you haven't really left him for me, your friends will know about it.”

“Okay, okay,” I gave in. “. . . I'll do it.” the basketball team high-fived each other before dismissing me. As I walked away I heard Jordy brag. “We own Ethan Kowalski's girlfriend. This is going to be fun.”
No, this was going to be a nightmare.
I couldn't sleep that night. So instead I spend the night sat in the bathroom ready to vomit at any moment.

I was shaking the next day at school. I couldn't keep my hands still as I packed books into my locker. I still felt sick from the knowledge of what I was about to do to Ethan. It was cruel. Why would I supposedly leave him for his enemy? The one person he hates most in the whole school? I stared into my locker and considered just running away. But I couldn't do that. My poor friends on the debate team. They couldn't look after themselves so I had to. I was doing this only for their safety.
Chloe appeared at my side. She looked terribly worried.

“Alice, are you okay? What happened yesterday?”
I shook my head. “It's sorted. You don't need to worry anymore, the basketball team wont hassle you any longer.” Chloe looked more worried.

“What have you done Alice?”

“I know what I'm doing Chloe,” I told her. It was a lie. I hadn't a clue what I was doing, but I was going to hold up my end of the bargain nonetheless.
After Chloe left for her own locker, I continued to stare into mine. The hallway was crowded with gossiping students. It was the perfect setting. I sighed heavily and thought that moment was approaching far too quickly. I still hadn't figured out what I was going to say to him.

I felt my stomach drop when a set of leather clad arms wrapped around me from behind. I shut my eyes in dismay and leant back against Ethan, breathing in the faint smell of cigarettes that followed him everywhere for the last time. It was now of never. If I didn't find the courage to hurt Ethan now, I knew I never would

“So,” Ethan began in a smooth voice. “Where did you disappear to yesterday? I came back for you but Chloe said you'd already left. Why?” I pulled courage from nowhere and tried my best to look angry. I shrugged out from under his arms and walked away from him. As I thought, he followed me and grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him. I was scowling and people were watching.

“What's wrong with you?” Ethan asked, frowning.

“Me?” I accused. “What the hell's wrong with you?” I was still grasping for a reason to break up with him. Ethan's face became a mask and he dug his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. “You think you own me or something.” I was letting my voice raise so everyone present heard. I ignored people's stares and whispers as I focused all my hatred for Jordy into Ethan. It was painful. To others, he looked unfazed by my outburst. He didn't looked bothered. But to me, his mask covered nothing. I could see he looked genuinely confused as to what he had done. Then he looked doubtful in himself. I think he was actually believing my words and I died a little inside. “I've never met anyone as controlling as you! You're always there and you give me no freedom! You're so . . so . . possessive!” I spat, knowing that one would hurt most after he told me that he was trying not to be and that he didn't want to be. I'd assured him he wasn't. I noticed the slight change in Ethan's face. He looked wounded. I continued though. There was more I had to say as part of the agreement. “I can't take you anymore, Ethan . . . it's over.” That one hurt me. Ethan lowered his eyes and shook his head. His face showed anger but his eyes showed pain. He glared back up at me.

“Where the fuck has this come from?” he accused. “You're not fucking right in the head, love.”

“I'm not your love. Not anymore. I'm . .” I fought to get the words out without shuddering. “I'm with Jordy now. He treats me right.” Ethan looked confused now.

“Jordy?” he whispered, shaking his head. “Why?”

“He makes me feel something you could never make me feel.” sick? Hate? Disgust? I suggested to myself. Ethan stepped forward. I stepped back.

“You can't be serious Alice? Jordy Dawson? That fucker who slammed a door in your face?”

“Jordy's not like that anymore. He cares about me.” Ethan just stared at me. I could see the desperation in his eyes and wondered if anyone else could. He shook his head. “Don't, Alice,” he said in a voice that broke my heart. “Don't do this to me. Anybody but Jordy, please.” I lowered my eyes and shook my head back.

“I'm sorry Ethan,” I meant each word so much it hurt. “I'm sorry.” With that, I turned my back and walked away from him. I could feel his stare in my back, along with everyone else's before I felt all eyes shift to Ethan.
I didn't try to stop the tears as they slid from eyes.

I found Jordy with Greg and Thomas and Luke that lunch break. They applauded me as I sat down beside Jordy. I hated myself. They had heard the gossip. Who hadn't?
I hadn't seen Ethan since that morning where I publicly destroyed him.

I scowled at Jordy. “I held up my end on the bargain.”

“Right, right.” Jordy waved a hand dismissively. “We'll leave your geeky friends alone.” He stood and so did the other three. “Right now we have to explore our new power. Come on girlfriend, we're going to have some fun. Oh, and in future, dress like you're my girlfriend.” I sighed and nodded, following Jordy until he slung his arm around me, resting a little too low on my hips for my liking.
I sat on the grass and watched the basketball team practise. I knew we were in view of the bleachers where my friends were. I could feel them looking. I sighed knowing I'd disappointed Zach. Jordy threw the ball to Luke before limping over to me. He dropped down beside me on the grass.

“Try to look a little happy, yeah?” he instructed. “We're in love remember?” he smirked bitterly. I numbly turned my head to look at him. So now he wanted me to love him?

“When can I go?” I asked

“We're not done with you yet. You're the only one with the power to destroy Ethan Kowalski.”

“I already have.”

“I bet that was hard for you,” mused Jordy. “Unless you never even cared about him.”

“I loved him,” I answered honestly.

“I bet you're the first girl to ever break his little heart.” I thought of Cookie, no doubt already moving in on my territory. Ethan would probably even accept her just out of bitter resentment to me. “I wonder if he cried.” laughed Jordy. I said nothing. Jordy glanced over his shoulder.

“The freaks are watching, quick! Kiss me!” My jaw dropped.

“That wasn't part of the deal, Jordy.”

“The deal was to be my girlfriend. And girlfriends kiss their boyfriends.” When I still didn't comply, mainly from the shock, Jordy kissed me. I almost pushed him away and smacked him before I realised I couldn't. '”'m going to get as much out of this as I can,” Jordy said into my lips. I felt my blood run cold as I finally realised the dangers of the situation I was stuck in.
Ethan, I pleaded in my own head, save me.
But I knew he wasn't coming for me, and he never would again.