The Rebel's Apprentice

I found myself frozen to the spot. I was sure I could maybe give Erin a good fight. But not Johnny, and definitely not both Johnny and Erin. We were doomed. This was it. This was my worse nightmare turned reality. Johnny would grab me and drag me away from Ethan, kicking and screaming. He'd be helpless to stop him, too weak from the drugs. All he'd be able to do is listen to my pleas and pain in the next room as Johnny hurt me and worse. I shut my eyes. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear.

I heard Ethan stagger to his feet and felt his arms embrace me. He leant on me for support that I happily gave. I opened my eyes and found Ethan holding me away from Johnny. He had a dark look in his eyes. He was the only thing that stood between me and this psychopath that wanted so badly to hurt me.

“You got a purdy little girly, Ethan. Why don't you share?” Ethan growled in response and held me tighter. I felt safe in his arms. I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and took in his scent of cigarettes and old leather. Despite his lack of leather jacket, the smell still clung to him.

“You're girlfriend broke my nose. There are consequences for actions. She has to now get what she's owed.”

“Y'know Johnny?” sighed Ethan. “I never did like you. Now I like you even less. You so much as pluck a hair from her head . . . and I wont hesitate to stove your head in with this bat.” I took my head from his neck and peeked. He must have picked up the bat at some point. “And you know I'll do it. I will fucking kill you Johnny. Do you understand?” he said it calmly. As a warning. Just making sure Johnny really did know what he was getting himself into.

“Ethan,” I whimpered in his ear. He rubbed my back.

“Shh, shh, shhh baby, it'll be okay,” he said quietly back. “I wont let him hurt you.” Johnny took another step forward and I cowered further into Ethan, my hands gripping tightly to the front of his hoodie. Ethan raised the bat kept his eyes on Johnny.

“I mean it Johnny,” he warned. “I'll hurt you.”

“You barely have the strength to lift that bat, let alone swing it at me,” jeered Johnny. Ethan shook his head, staring wonderingly at Johnny.

“Do you not understand?” he genuinely asked. “I cant let you hurt her. Have you never felt this way for someone Johnny? Have you never cared so much for someone that you no longer care for yourself, only them?” Johnny just stared at him. Ethan smiled fondly. “It's the best feeling in the world.” I looked up at Ethan as he held me tight against his chest.

“As touching as this is right now,” Erin yawned. “We have new pills to test,” she was looking at Ethan. I gripped at him again and I wasn't letting go, ever.

“You can't have him.” I found my voice out of nowhere and it sounded thick and hoarse to even my ears.

“Don't you tell me, bitch, what I can and can't have.” She was glaring hard at me. I tried to step forward but Ethan's arm around me restricted the movement.

“No. Ethan isn't yours Erin. He's mine.' I looked up at him with strong eyes, burning fire. “He's always been mine.” He got a strange look in his eyes as he gazed back down at me. I looked back at Erin and Johnny. “If you want us, you're going to have to separate us, cause we're not going to do it willingly.” Ethan braced himself for a fight and so did I. Johnny and Erin looked at each other and shrugged. Johnny span around and lunged forward for me. Ethan was ready though.

He swung the bat and it connected with Johnny's arm. A good hit, but only enough to disturb his balance. In the next blink, Erin was involved, trying to rip Ethan's arms from around me. I kicked at her, trying to knock her away. Ethan was throwing punches at Johnny who, I had noticed with a hiss of pain, had clamped a hand around my wrist and wasn't letting go. He was trying to pull me away from Ethan, but his arm was tight around my waist. Neither one wanted to let go of me first. While Erin was still trying to come between us, I was still throwing kicks her way. I eyed the bat on the floor and wished I had a third arm. I tried to snatch my wrist out of johnny's fist but it was no good.

My insides froze over as I felt Ethan's grip on me loosen. He was weak. He was already in no shape to fight. He already said he couldn't protect me. I knew what was coming next and I couldn't lose this last moment with him. I looked up at Ethan and grabbed his face with my free hand. I kept my eyes open as I forced my lips on his. I wanted to see him, even if it was for just a little longer. I had no idea what would happen to either of us. There was no saying that once Johnny took me away, I'd ever face Ethan again.

There was no saying I would ever open my eyes again. We ignored the tugging and pulling and shouts as Ethan placed his hand on the nape of my neck to keep my face there. Time passed in a blur as we kissed, for the first time, as equals. Equal amount of passion. Equal amount of pain. Equal desperation and dominance. Equal unspoken love for each other. We parted and stared in each others eyes.

“My hero,” I whispered just as Johnny tore me away from Ethan. I saw Ethan shout and reach for me, but the sound didn't seem to register. Erin grabbed him and they toppled back onto the bed. She wrapped herself around his legs like a snake and he struggled to kick her off, getting weaker and weaker. He watched as Johnny curled an arm around my waist and lifted me off the ground with ease. He marched for the door and slammed it on Ethan's desperate protests.
This was it. The rest was now a mystery. I didn't know what Johnny was going to do to me, though I had a pretty good idea. He carried me through the motel room and out the door. He was taking me away. Somewhere away from Ethan. He wouldn't be able to help me. He wouldn't even know where I was. I'd be totally alone with this guy. I screamed as Johnny shut the door on the sound of Ethan shouting my name and pulled out a set of car keys.

“Ethan!” I squealed as Johnny walked to the car. He ignored me and didn't hurry anymore, despite the funny looks the people across the street were giving us. “Ethan! Help!” tears streamed don't my face and I thrashed in Johnny's arms as he opened the back door and tossed me in like a rag doll. He slammed the door on me before I had even hit the seat.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I gasped, brushing my messy hair from my face as Johnny opened the front door and climbed in. The people across the street were talking and pointing. One was on a cell phone. I banged on the window at them and Johnny pulled the car away at a speed that sent me flying back into my seat. I turned around and looked back at the motel as it got smaller behind us, praying Ethan was safe. Praying he had gotten away from Erin. I squeezed my eyes shut. God, I hope he's okay.

“Ethan,” I muttered between my tears.

“He'll be okay,” said Johnny in a voice lacking care. “He'll take some more drugs and forget this ever happened.” I glared and kicked the back of Johnny's seat. He jolted forward and muttered darkly under his breath.
It was over. It was finished. It was-
vibrating?
My phone!
I carefully slid it out my pocket and put it on the seat beside me, behind Johnny and out of his view. The caller ID said Zach. I wasn't sure what help he could be, but if he knew I was in danger, that was the best I could hope for. I accepted the call and then ignored the phone and looked forward at Johnny.

“Where are you taking me, Johnny?” I said loudly, hoping Zach could hear.

“Home, where we can be alone,” he answered.

“What about Ethan?” I asked, wiping the tears from cheeks. “What's going to happen to him?”

“I told you,” snapped Johnny. “He'll take drugs and forget.” This time I actually believed him and tears began to fall again. The thought of Ethan simply forgetting that I was in trouble was a harsh one.

“Don't do this, Johnny,” I pleaded. “Don't hurt me. You don't have to do this.”

“Save your pleas for later. You'll be on your knees soon enough, begging me, like the little bitch you are,” he sneered. I leant down to the phone, my lips hovering above the speaker.

“Help me,” I said barely above a breath, hoping he could hear me. I hung up and carefully and discreetly slid the phone back into my pocket. I looked up at Johnny he hadn't seemed to have noticed. I drew my feet up onto the seat and wrapped my arms around my legs tightly, holding them to my chest as if I was holding my entire being together. I felt like I was falling apart. My seams fraying and tearing, unravelling. I cried into my knees as I thought of the last time I saw Ethan.



It was almost dark when the car juddered to a halt. It was still winter so it got dark early. I didn't know what the time was. I couldn't risk looking at my phone in case Johnny saw.
He opened the back door and a big hand reached in and clamped around my arm and wrenched me out the car, door slamming behind me. I recognised this building. I recognised this part of town. Dirty. Scary. This was where Johnny lived. Where we came for that horrible party. The night that ruined so many more.
This was where it stared. This was where it would end.
Johnny walked me up to the apartment building and took me inside. We waited silently for the elevator. When it pinged down and the doors opened, Johnny shoved me inside. I hit the back wall and he stepped in and stood with his back to me.
Again I felt a vibrating in my pocket. I glanced at Johnny as I slid out the phone, not intending to answer, just to see if it was maybe dad calling.

Incoming Call: Ethan x

I couldn't help myself. I snatched up the phoned and pressed accept. I just needed to hear his voice. Hear he was okay. It would give me the strength for what was to come next.

“Ethan, Ethan,” I babbled desperately. “Are you okay?” I just needed to know that much. I didn't even hear an answer. Johnny had my phone in one hand, my throat in the other. He held me against the wall of the elevator and squeezed. I choked and he loosened his grip again.

“She's a naughty girl, your Alice,” Johnny said down the phone to Ethan. “Don't worry, she wont be for much longer.” He hung up and threw the phone on the floor, dropping his foot down on top of it heavily for good measure. We were silent as his eyes surveyor me.
Why did I always have to get held against the wall of this elevator? What was it with this elevator?

The doors opened and, still gripping my throat, Johnny marched me out and to his grotty little apartment that I hoped I'd never have to step in again. He threw me to his floor and I landed in a heap. There was something so final about the way his front door closed. Something settled in my stomach, almost like I knew I wouldn't exit this building again. He locked it, shoving the key in his jeans pocket. I wasn't getting that any time soon.
Surely he's okay? I reasoned with myself. To be calling me, he must be okay? Must have gotten away from Erin? God, I hoped so.

“You should have drunk your drink. It would have been easier on you. You wouldn't have even remembered. You've just made it worse for yourself. This time you don't get drugs. This time you experience the whole thing. This time you stay awake.” Gosh those Roophies sounded good right about now. He stepped forward and grinned down at me. “But first, I need to get a little pay back for what you did to my nose. You understand, right?” he mocked.

It started with a cold slap. Then another. Then came the boot to the rips. Then my head forcefully collided with his chipped wood floor, chipping even more. Then was another boot to the rips. Cold slap. Boot. Fist. Floor. Then I felt my jeans get ripped from my legs.
Recently, since dating Ethan, I had taken to wearing nicer underwear. Y'know, lacy and frilly and pretty colours and stuff? I always prepared myself with sexy underwear for him. I never knew when would be the day Ethan couldn't bare it any longer and tear my clothes off me, or me tear his clothes off him.

Today I had gone for a matching black set complete with white polka dots and a tiny red bow on the front. They were my favourites, but not anymore after the way Johnny was staring at them. If I can keep my vest on, I'll at least feel a little protected. And there was no question that I had to fight to keep the panties on.
I scooted across the floor away from him. Crawling. Wincing in pain. So much pain. Unbearable. Easier to just stop. To give up. Pass out.
No. Can't do that. I'll wake up naked and in bed with him. That'll be worse. Much worse. I'll keep crawling. Crawling. Where? Where can I go? There was nowhere to go. I was doomed.

Johnny stepped over to me with nothing but ease. I had to think quick. Where would I be safest?
“Ethan, open this door now.” The sound of my own voice echoed around my head, bringing up memories of him locking himself in the bathroom. I couldn't get in to him because it was locked. Locked. That was it.
I looked at Johnny, stood over me. With all the strength I had in me, I kicked his shin, hard. He yelped in pain and jumped about, rubbing his shin. Now or never Alice.
I ran. Ran and didn't look back. Down the hall. I saw the door. Opened the door. I got inside and slammed it, ripping the sliding door bolt across the door, putting a locked door between me and my attacker.

My next move was to turn the lights on. When I did, my eyes hovered over the toilet where Ethan once slumped. The dent in the cupboard made by Ethan's fist.
There were no windows in this bathroom. No way out but the way in. I walked to the cupboard with the dent and slid down against it. I touched the dent. It was the closest thing I had to Ethan right now. It would do.
The tiled floor was cold against my bare legs but soothing to the cluster of bruises that now gathered on them. I shut my eyes as I listened to Johnny bang on the door, knowing he would eventually get through it. I wasn't hoping to achieve anything by this, but it would buy me some time to compose myself.
My eyes snapped open and eyed the medicine cabinet above the sink. I stood on my aching legs and opened the door. Medicine bottles littered every shelf. I picked up everyone in turn hurriedly.

“I'm going to kill you whore!” screamed Johnny psychotically through the door as he threw his weight against it. All the useless bottles of pills I dropped into the sink. There had to be something. Had to be something!

“I'm going to fuck you so bad and then I'm going to kill you! And I'll enjoy every minute of all of it.” He laughed like a mad man. “You're going to die, bitch.”

“But I wont be awake when I do,” I muttered to myself as I eyed the door, bottle of sleeping pills in my hand. Why go through all that pain just to die anyway? I'd much rather softly fall asleep and not wake up. Once I was asleep, the rest didn't matter. I didn't care what he did to me, I wouldn't be waking up once it was over. I'd never have to wake up and face the shock and horror of what he had done to me.

I slid back down the cupboard and turned the bottle in my trembling fingers. They claimed to be fast acting. I was counting on it.
I whipped the tears from my cheeks as I cracked the lid open. I shook out two pills and stared at them in my palm. I looked up at the door, rattling on it's hinges. I smiled when I imagined the look on Johnny's face when he realised I was out for the count. I threw back the pills and swallowed them down. I capped the bottle again and sighed in relief. It would all be over soon. Not long now.

I pressed my hand to the shape of Ethan's fist in the cupboard as my eyes lost focus. A wave of drowsiness swept over me and I shut my eyes. I thought of Ethan. I wanted him to be my last thoughts. I thought of the way his arms felt around me. The way his lips felt against mine. His perfect smile and that gorgeous hair. I smiled to myself as I felt my mind drift. I thought of him playing guitar for me. Licking my face. Sitting on his bed, staring into my eyes. The feeling of his hands down my back, my legs, my face. I thought finally of laying in a golden wheat field next to him. It seemed to glow. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I smiled. Was this heaven? I sure hoped it was.

”I love you Ethan,” I whispered as I slipped in to a peacefully slumber, Johnny's bangs on the door the soundtrack to my death.