The Rebel's Apprentice

'"Hey! Hey, pumpkin! I want you to meet someone dear to me," Ethan stumbled over to me later that evening. I was still stood against the wall with the same beer from earlier. Ethan had his arm across some guys shoulders. The guy had a green Mohawk. Both looked very drunk.

"This is Johnny, my dealer." my eyes widened. I don't know why though, I already knew Ethan did drugs.

"Dealer?" I trembled, suddenly feeling quite nervous.

"Yeah," Ethan laughed. "Why? Where'd you think I got the pot? Didn't grow it out my ass now did I?"

I shrugged. "Guess not." Ethan took a swig of beer and I glanced at the time.

"Gots somewhere to be, poppet?" Ethan slurred a little.

"Yeah, actually," I sighed, knowing Ethan wouldn't take me home now, even though he promised. He was totally wasted.

"Where?" he scoffed.

"Home. It's nearly eleven," I said, nodding at the clock on the wall. Ethan rolled his eyes and stood closer to me.

"Stay the night," he ordered rather than asked. I looked at his hands, now placed on my hips.

"Um, I cant," I mumbled.

"Pweae," Ethan pouted, it was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. I definitely melted inside. "We can do what we did at the tracks," he smirked, like this was some big persuader. Only I couldn't remember what we did at the tracks. And I didn't want to either.

"No, Ethan." He stepped closer to me.

"Aww c'mon, babe. You know you're my favourite." I got chills when he said that. Whether it was him talking or the booze, either way I liked it.

"I really cant," I said with pleading eyes. "I'd love to stay but if I don't get home my parents will be so worried."

"Screw parents," Ethan laughed. "Stay here with me. I want you to." my stomach curled into a knot and I found myself lost for a reply. Ethan stared at me with deep, intense green eyes and I felt myself crumble inside.
I felt this weird feeling in my gut and I couldn't explain it. I'd never felt it before.
Somehow I found the will to break eye contact. I stared hard at my feet, not wanting to get caught in the trap that were Ethan's eyes.

"No," I mumbled. "I need to go home." in the next second, before I could blink, Ethan was off of me.

"Whatever. You're a dork anyway right?"
Ouch.
That one hurt.

I tried telling myself that it was only cause he was drunk . . . that and the fact that I just openly rejected Ethan Kowalski.
Gosh.
Girls just don't do that.
You do not reject Ethan Kowalski. Ever. Period.
Everyone wants to be with Ethan, so why the hell did I reject him?
I couldda had him.
But he's right. I'm a geek. That's why I rejected him. It's also why he's now making out with Cookie and not me.
I take it he isn't walking me home then.
I guess I should expect a guy like Ethan to break promises. I don't know why I was so surprised and why I felt so let down.

Sighing, I turned my back and left the noisy, Smoky house. I shut the door behind me, concealing the sound with it, and took in a grateful lungful of fresh air.
I looked down the road Ethan and I had walked down earlier.
I didn't recognise it but I'm a smart girl. I'm sure I can navigate my way home somehow.



Damn right I was mad at him. I was hella mad.
He broke his promise to me.
He said he'd look after me and get me home on time.
He did neither.
Not only did he ditch me first opportunity he got, but he turned against me.
Called me a dork and didn't walk me home.
It took me half hour to just find my way off of Zach's maze of an estate. And when I finally did get home it was quarter to 12.
My folks weren't happy at all. I was left with no excuse as to why I was late. I had nothing. So I accepted the consequences with dignity.
I'm grounded, basically.
I've never been grounded in my life. Purely cause I've never done anything naughty enough to get grounded.

I stayed in my room all Sunday. I figured it would be a good opportunity to get some homework done. I actually hadn't done any in a while, seeing I'd spent nearly every day after school with Ethan.
It was very unlike me to not do my homework. But then again, approaching Ethan and his gang of rebels in the first place was unlike me.
I'd changed so much without even noticing.
Was it really for the best?

Tap
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I span round quickly in my desk chair and locked eyes with Ethan outside my window. He had an apologetic look on his face. I scowled at him and stormed over to my window. I gripped my curtains, ready to rip them across the window and remove Ethan from sight, but I looked at him instead, his eyes pleading with me to let him in. I sighed and let go of the curtains. Instead I slid my window open and folded my arms at Ethan. He hoisted himself into my room and looked at me with the same expression.

"Hey, kid . . . I'm sor-"

"I'm grounded, Ethan!" I snapped, not in the mood for his crap "I'm grounded cause of you! And you tell me you're sorry?" I questioned angrily. If possible, Ethan looked more guilty than before. I briefly wondered why he gave a crap enough to feel guilty.

"Alice I . . ." he trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. I shook my head and looked to the floor. "I don't want you to be mad at me," he said quietly.

I sighed. "I'm not mad . . . just disappointed." Ethan's eyes widened.

"No. shit, babe, don't say that," he groaned.

"But it's true," I shrugged.

"I'd rather you be mad. Disappointment hurts so much worse. Everyone knows that."

"Maybe that's why I said it," I whispered, looking away from him. He looked at me, mild pain etched into his features, before stepping closer to me.

"I cant stand my friends being pissed at me and I don't like hurting my friends. I really am sorry 'bout last night. And sorry I got you grounded. I was drunk. I feel so bad I didn't look after you. I'd never leave you to fend for yourself like that, you know I wouldn't." I lowered my gaze and shrugged.
Did I really know that though?
I wouldn't put anything past this boy.
This incredible boy.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I felt my eyes start to sting. Ethan looked worriedly down at me.

"I've never been grounded before," I mumbled. Ethan sighed a guilty sigh and pulled me into a hug.

"That's the second time I've made you cry," he stated sadly. "And I don't like it."

"So stop doing it then," I whispered. He held me slightly tighter and I gripped the front of his jacket slightly tighter. Neither one of us willing to let go first.

"I've grown so fond of you, sugar." his little nicknames for me always sent chills down my spine. They sounded so right for me, coming from his lips.
I felt a feeling in my stomach. The same feeling I felt last night when Ethan pleaded with me to stay with him, right before I rejected him like a fool.
For now I realised, as he held me to his chest, how I felt about him.
He's a screw up.
But he's a perfect screw up.
And he could have been my screw up.

"I don't ever want anything bad to happen to you. I never want to see you cry again." I shut my eyes in content. Is this the part where he declares his undying love for me?

"I've become so protective of you. You're like the sister I never got."

Sister?

crack

My eyes slowly crept open.

"You're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had and I want to look after you."

But . . . sister?

CRACK

I don't understand.
. . . sister?
Was he sure? I looked up at him timidly and he smiled down at me. I swallowed back the mountain in my throat and blinked back the ocean of tears that wanted to flood my cheeks.

"Are we good?" Ethan asked. "Friends?" I nodded and tried to hide how I was slowly falling apart inside.

"Friends."

SHATTER

And just like that, my heart lay in pieces at my feet.
Hey Ethan, I thought to myself as I watched him walk back over to my window, don't forget to wipe your feet on it before you leave.



The next day I walked to class with my head down. I didn't even look up to see who had just shoved me into the wall.
I continued to class with my head down, now rubbing my arm.
All I could think about was last night.
All I could think about was Ethan.
He said I'm like a sister to him. A sister! Who the hell wants to date their sister?
Some would call it incest.
I call it complete and utter heartbreak.
Isn't it funny how I only just realised how much I wanted Ethan as a boyfriend the moment he realised he wanted me as his sister.
It's kind of a sick thought really, and I couldn't figure out why.
I suppose cause I felt like he was my brother too in a way.
So the thought of us being together made me feel dirty for thinking it.

I tried not to think about it. But it was hard. I lost my shot with Ethan. That's it now. Game over. You don't get a continue game with Ethan Kowalski . . . unless you're Cookie of course, then you get unlimited lives. I saw them cuddling today. They didn't see me. Just as well.
I think I'm going to quit while I'm ahead, don't you think? It's probably for the best. I don't belong with them anyway. They're nice people and I hope we'll always have a friendship, but I think I need a break from them at the moment.
I entered my classroom on time and took a seat in the middle. Torn between the cool kids at the back and the geeks at the front.
I didn't know who I was any more. I didn't know who I wanted to be. I couldn't take much more of the stress and pressure of trying to fit in and trying to be everything Ethan wanted me to be.
I just couldn't do it any more.

"Alice?" I got a nudge. I looked up and saw my kind English teacher bending over to me. I panicked a moment, thinking I'd done something wrong. A few weeks ago I wouldn't have had that worry. There was nothing I did wrong back then. But now . .

"Alice would you please go see Mr Barry." I frowned. Why would she send me to see Mr Barry? "You're looking pretty stressed. Maybe it'll do you some good to talk to someone about it," Mrs Allan suggested. I gulped and nodded as I stood from my desk, sliding my books into my arms before leaving.

The hallways were empty and quiet as I walked to the school consolers office. Class was now in session. I wondered if any of the gang were cutting class right now and if they were wondering why I wasn't too. I pushed it from my mind. They probably aren't giving me a second thought.
I sighed, looked up at Mr Barry's office door and knocked.
I heard him call come in and I entered. Mr Barry was sat behind his desk, his wild grey wisps of hair as crazy as ever. He smiled when he saw me and nodded at the seat in front of his desk.

"So Alice," he smiled warmly. "It's been awhile hasn't it? Though normally you just pop in for a chat." he looked concerned all of a sudden. "I hear you're losing concentration a little at school. And that you seem stressed. Would you like to talk to me Alice?" I sighed and shrugged. What could he possibly say that'll make me feel better?

"How's things at home?" he asked.

"Fine." I frowned at his bizarre question. Why wouldn't they be?

"Okay. So how about school?" he asked. "Tell me about your average school day."

I shrugged. "It's alright," I mumbled.

"No tell me about it," he urged.

"Um . . ." I sighed, thinking. "I get in about quarter to nine and go find my friends and wait until nine. Then I go to class. Then I go to my next class. And then-"

"Okay. I get the drift," Mr Barry said. "Tell me about your friends then."
Uh oh.
He thought I still hung out with Chloe, doing debate team stuff at lunch. I looked at my lap and fidgeted in the little plastic chair.
Damn, these things are uncomfortable.

"Well, actually I got some new friends the other week . . ."
Mr Barry looked pleased for me.

"Really?" he beamed. "Who?"

"Um . . . Ethan Kowalski, Scott Tumps, Zach Bane, Co. . ." I trailed off when I saw Mr Barry's expression fall a mile. He took a deep breath and leant back in his seat.

"Look Alice, I'm not going to tell you who to be friends with, but I feel the need to at least warn you about the dangers of hanging out with a crowd like that." my mind wandered as I watched his jaw move, I didn't hear what he was saying.
It's kind of funny really. Warn me of the dangers. it's like getting that unprotected sex talk from your parents. Though I tend to get the don't have sex at all talk.
If these guys are so dangers, why doesn't the school hand out fliers to students? Add it to the social studies lessons?
I tried not to laugh at the thought and how I half wish the school did, and before I decided to change.

My eyes refocus and I looked up at Mr Barry who was looking at me expectantly.
Say something!

"Yes Mr Barry."

He smiled at me. "Good girl Alice."

"Can I leave now?" I asked.

"Of course," he beamed, thinking he'd solved all my problems from one speech and turned me back to the light side.

"Oh, one other thing," Mr Barry added. I had the door open but I turned around and looked at him. "Are you going to the meeting tomorrow?" he asked with a smile.

"Meeting?" I said, hoping he'd fill me in.

"The debate team," he explained. "There's a competition with a school from the next town on. Need to get preparations ready, huh Alice?"

"Oh yes," I smiled. "That meeting. I forgot," I lied. I had no idea there was a meeting. Even if I did I probably wouldn't have gone. But I've sort of had a change of heart about the whole 'being a rebel' thing, maybe I'll go. It'll be nice to catch up with Chloe and the girls and keep up appearances.

"Yeah," I smiled, only half falsely. "We're going to beat that other school."
I shut the door behind me, feeling a little better about myself. I guess talking about your problems really does help. Maybe I should do it more often.
I began back towards my lesson with a light smile now on my face.
I was planning just to go back to lesson and do my work. Act like the last two weeks never actually happened.

Wow. Two weeks. Was that all?
I guess it is.
It seemed like so much longer.

However, before I could get even close to my old life something snagged my arm and yanked me out of the nearest fire exit.
I gasped in confusion and then looked up at Ethan's pissed off glare.
Suddenly all the confidence Mr Barry gave me shrivelled up and blew away in the breeze.

"What you trying to pull, kid?" Ethan questioned, sucking on his cigarette.

"Um," I trembled. He was so close to me as I backed up against the wall.

"Where were you this morning?" I looked away from him and shrugged.

"I . . ." C'mon Alice. Tell him. "I don't want . . . this." I said.

He frowned through his glare. "What?"

"This," I repeated.

"What's this?" he said, frustrated. I couldn't blame him. In my nerves I wasn't being very specific.

"I don't want to be your student any more," I said, holding my breath as I waited for his reaction.
He stared at me a moment, unsure of what to say. Then finally . .

"What!" he nearly shouted.

"Yeah," I quivered as I concentrated on my shoes. "I had a talk with Mr Barry and-"

"Fuck Mr Barry! Who gives a fuck what that washed up hippy wannabe thinks?"

"Me," I said quietly. Ethan shook his head angrily.

"No," he said as he thought this through. "No, I'm not letting you do this."

"You cant make me do anything, Ethan," I glared at him.

"I gave you that confidence you're using right now," he stated. "I'm not gonna let you quit on me. No way. How could you even consider that? After all I've done for you. I broke Jordy's fucking leg for you and this is how you repay me?" My eyes widened dramatically.

"You promised me it wasn't you!" I cried out. "Twice!"

Ethan shrugged. "Like I said before, kid, sometimes you have to lie in order to save your own ass. And if it gains you a little respect in the process, more power to ya." I glared hatefully at Ethan.

"I do not respect you! I quit." I stormed past him, forgetting class was still on. I heard Ethan sigh and felt a hand on my shoulder as it spun me around. I pushed Ethan away and he grabbed my upper arms, holding them tight so I couldn't push him away.
I struggled to shake him off but, as I discovered the day I fought with him, he's too strong for me. Ethan pushed me up against the wall and held me there. I glared at him and then refused to look at him. He was looking down at me with frustration, regret and a hint of sadness.

"Look at me, hey," he said calmly. "Look at me." I reluctantly did so. "Everything I said to you last night, and everything I've ever said to you has been the truth."

"What about Jordy's leg?" I mumbled moodily. Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Other than Jordy's leg," he sighed and leant closer to me. "When I said I'd grown fond of you, cupcake, I meant it, yeah? As strange as it sounds, I actually enjoy your company and like having you around. The gang would feel incomplete without you now." My glare smoothed out as I watched Ethan. "Don't quit on me now, sugar. You're apart of who I am now."
He looked a little pissed off suddenly and let go of my arms. "You're changing me . . . and I don't know if this is something I should be embracing or fighting." He paced away from me. I continued to watch him. "I find myself being less sarcastic with my mom. Holding my tongue when my mom's guy makes some comment or other about me. Hell, I don't even swear as much as I used to."

"Yeah, I noticed that," I said timidly. Ethan sighed and stepped up closer to me. He looked down at my hands and picked them up, holding them in his.

"What are you doing to me, kid?" He looked up at me with genuine wonder. He looked almost scared. I blinked a few times and wondered myself.
What was I doing to him?

Was I, I Alice Harper - queen of the geeks, converting Ethan Kowalski - king of the rebels?
I wondered if I could convert him . . . and how wonderful that would be.
That way we could be together. I smiled lightly, almost reassuring Ethan that he was going to be okay. That he'd make it out alive.

I hoped he'd accept the change. I hoped he'd let me gradually change him, because it was for that reason that I agreed to continue hanging around with Ethan and his gang.
I will make you a better person Ethan Kowalski. Mark my words.