I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

Chapter 12

Andy's POV

Sammie is taking a shower at the moment, I finished mine and I’m waiting for her to step out of the bathroom so that I could give her the clothes that I picked out, which are a kiss shirt and batman boxers.

A couple minutes later I heard the shower water stop, meaning she is done and going to come out any second. I took a deep breath. What? She will be coming out in ONLY a towel, so give me a break, I’m nervous.

A few minutes later the door unlocked and she came out in only a towel, see I was right, and now I’m try not to blush, I hope she can’t see that I am in fact blushing, but she was blushing too so that makes me feel better. she looks adorable when she blushes.

“Erm... I got you one of my t-shirts and a pair of my boxers to wear.” I said and showed her the clothes that are resting in my hands, she grinned.

“Just as well they're Batman and not Spiderman or Superman or I'd have to punch you in the jugular, take your jugular and then eat it for sustenance.” I felt a pang in the middle of my chest, me and my old Sammie used to say that all the time and now that Sammie that is standing in front of me (in only a towel) said it, makes me want to crawl into a hole a die. It’s just that I miss my Sammie…

I nodded and placed the clothes on my bed, I took the wet ones from her hands and gestured towards the clean, dry ones on the bed.

“Go put them on, I'll get my mom to dry these.” She nodded, took the clothes and went to the bathroom, to get dressed.

I headed to the basement/laundry room, where my mom is drying all of the clothes that got wet in the water fight that took place not even an hour ago in the backyard.

“These are Sammie’s” I handed them over and my mom nodded and I kissed her forehead,
“Thanks mom, sorry I made all that mess.”

“Oh it’s okay honey, I’m just happy you’re having fun,” she smiled, I smiled back and went up the stairs to my room.

I got to my room and Sammie is still in the bathroom, so I laid on my bed but after a couple of minutes I got bored so I got up and knocked on the door, “Sammie? Are you ready?”

A few moments later she opened the door revealing herself in my clothes, “Does it really take you that long to just change into shorts and t-shirt?” I asked and chuckled. She shrugged and stepped past me, I laughed again. She reached the door and put her hand on the doorknob, something silver and shiny caught my eye on her forearm, please tell me that’s one of her tattoos. I grabbed her wrist trying to make her let go of the knob but she is not letting go, so I twisted her arm, gently, to get a better look.

But unfortunately it’s not one of her tattoos, it’s a series of scars running from her forearms to her wrists, it’s a sight I never like to see. With my free hand, I traced the scars with my fingers lightly, I was afraid to touch them, I removed my fingers from her forearm and putting them under her chin so that I could lift her head, so that I could look into her eyes, I don’t understand why she wears contacts all the time, I bet her eyes look more beautiful without them…

“Why did you do it Sammie? Why did you cut yourself?” I asked her desperately, trying to understand why she would do something that isn’t supposed to be done. She shook her head, trying not to cry but a few tears betrayed her and fell down her cheeks.

“Why the fuck would you do this to yourself?” I whisper- yelled at her, I didn’t want to be like this but I have to understand why she had done this.

“you wouldn’t understand, you would judge me like everyone that I have ever told,” she whispered, then sniffled.

“what do you mean I wouldn’t understand?” I asked, “I might be the only person that would understand and I would never judge you, I would have thought that you would know that,”

“I just-” she got cut off by a knock on the door.

“Andy?” CC called out, “is Sammie with you?”

“yeah, she’s here”

“oh, well Mrs.B says that dinner is ready and that you guys should come down ASAP,”

“alright, we will be there in a minute,” I replied, I listened closely to his footsteps and made sure he won’t hear us, then I turned to Sammie and said, “this conversation is not over” then opened the door and went downstairs.

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After dinner Sammie was avoiding me, and she wasn’t even talking to anyone and she wasn’t even paying attention. I hate it, I hate seeing her like this.

We were all sitting in the living room and the tension between Sammie and I is killing me and I can tell that most of the people here, have noticed but no one said anything.

Carolyn started playing somewhere in the room, I looked around to see Alex pulling out his phone and checking who it is, he looked up and was shocked when he saw everyone staring at him, he blushed and whispered a small sorry and then answered, it was his mom.

“hey guys, Max, Reuben and I have to go” Alex announced loudly.

“aww, come on… why?” Max complained.

“well, considering it’s 11:30 and we have to wake up early tomorrow for the camping trip. Which reminds me, do you guys want to come?” Alex asked me and the guys. We looked at each other and grinned at him and nodded enthusiastically.

“awesome, we will come pick you up at 9 o’clock tomorrow morning and pack warm clothes and don’t worry about a tent, I have an extra one at home.” He smiled and motion for Max and Reuben to get up, they nodded and got up and they walked to the door with everyone behind them except mom and dad because they went to bed.

“we should go too,” Derrick said, “we will see you tomorrow”

“alright, see you tomorrow,” I said, CC and Ashley were talking to the other three boys, outside, and derrick joined them.

I looked at Sammie and she was smiling and that surprised me, then what happened next surprised me even more, she hugged me, she had one arm around my neck and the other at my back and it slide down to my back pocket and she slipped something in, we let go of each other and she smiled again and hopped out of the door the guys.

I took the piece of paper out of my pocket and read what was written on it, meet me in my backyard, at midnight. I’ll tell you everything.

I ran up to my room to pack for tomorrow, so that I wouldn’t have to do it tomorrow and be in a rush. 10 minutes later I had a duffle bag and in it are, a few T- shirts and 3 pairs of pants and 3 hoodies and a jacket.

I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that in 5 minutes it’s going be midnight so I grabbed a hoodie and I looked out of my window to see Sammie doing the same, she looked at me then nodded.

I went out of my room, down the stairs, out of the backdoor, very very quietly trying not to wake anyone up, now I’m in my backyard and I have to get to Sammie’s and the fence between our houses isn’t the most easy thing to jump over, considering it’s a combination of wood fence that is as tall as I am and a big-ass bush full of my mom’s roses…

At first I tried to grab the fence and pull myself up… but that didn’t work, I almost squashed one of my mom’s roses! I looked behind me and saw a chair, so I grabbed that and placed it in front of the bushes and stepped on it and grabbed the fence and pulled myself up and sat on the fence, one leg on each side of the wooden block ok, THAT is very uncomfortable! I tried to swing my leg to the side I want it to be, but that didn’t work because it got stuck in the bushes and you guessed it! I pulled it too hard, I ended up falling 6ft. to the ground and I fell on my back, the fall was very fun. not.

I heard laughter behind me and I turned my head, so that I see everything upside down, Sammie was standing there laughing.

I slowly got up from the ground and stretched, my back cracked, it was a nice feeling, it soothed my back from the fall and Sammie is STILL laughing.

I scowled at her, “would you stop laughing, now?” she nodded and stopped laughing for about 7 nanoseconds then started laughing again, I pouted and stuck my tongue out at her, like a little kid, she laughed even more.

A few minutes later the laughter quieted down and we were sitting in the middle of her yard, looking up at the stars, when she started talking.

“my father died about 5 months ago” I looked at her sympathetically and said, “I’m sorry…” she frowned, I wanted to give her a hug so bad right now and I did.

“I hate it when people say sorry, like it’s their fault, when it’s not” she mumbled into my shoulder. I let go.

“is that why you cut? Is it because you feel weak?”

“yeah, but there are reasons other than that,” she looked at me, then she pulled her sleeve enough for me to see the scars that lined all over her arm, “Some of them are a couple of years old and some are more recent…” she trailed off.

“may I know the other reasons?” she nodded and started to explain.

“when I was younger, I was 13 or 14 at the time, I got bullied,” she started tracing a couple of scars in the middle of her forearm, they looked older and faded, “the kids bullied me because of who I was, for who my dad was, to a point where I got so sick of being talked to like that, I couldn’t ignore them any longer, so I talked back,” she paused but didn’t look at me, she was looking at the ground with her hair covering her face, “but apparently, they didn’t like it so they start to…” she looked at me with tearful eyes, “to hit me,”

I sat there dumbfounded, I got bullied when I was younger but not to the point of being hit...

She looked down at her arm again, and traced a bigger patch of scars, “then there is two years ago…”

“what happened two years ago?” I asked her desperately.

“I-” she started but got interrupted.

“what are guys doing out here?” he asked then looked at his watch, “and at 2 am?

“we were just talking, bro” Sammie said.

“I can see that, but you guys should really get to bed, if you don’t want to be up late and for Max to go all psycho on you,” he said laughing

Sammie laughed and said, “he really hates people, who are late”

I laughed and nodded, “alright, I should go home. I need my sleep.”

“okay, good night” derrick said and went inside.

“good night, Andy,” Sammie smiled up at me then hugged me, I hugged her back, “thank you for listening to me, even though I didn’t get to finish what I was saying.”

I nodded, “maybe we will have time later,” I let go of her and I went over to the fence but before I tried to jump over it, Sammie caught my hand and brought me down to her level and kissed my cheek, she blushed and I’m sure I did too, “good night, Sammie”

Then I jumped over the fence and luckily, I avoided the rosy bush and went up to my room and collapsed on my bed, thinking about Sammie and her situation and how I could possibly save her from everything.

I swear this girl is going to be the death of me.