Baby, Anywhere Is Away From Me

It was snowing outside, snowflakes gently falling onto her outside window sill and covering the ground. The sky was a light gray, and it looked freezing outside, but in here it was very warm. Her room had gradually sort of turned into my room, with traces of me everywhere. Pictures of the two of us dressed up for our first date, last day of kindergarten, recent pictures from concerts of mine. One of my guitars was permanently leaned up against the wall across from us beside her cluttered desk with a tin of my cigarettes on the corner beside her homework. The guitar stayed in this room so I could play her songs and help her fall asleep.

We lay in her bed, curled up. She buried her head deep into my neck and I rested my chin on the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. My hand found her's and our fingers curled into each other, and everything was right in the world for a little while. It was the last year of high school, my girlfriend was my best friend, and I had my music. Nothing could bring me down at that exact moment.

But, generally the people that can make us most happy, can make us feel just as bad. No matter how much you love each other, the fact that they make you so happy is also a risk. That means they can hurt you more than someone who doesn't make you happy. It's more of a betrayal, I guess.

"Christofer Drew Ingle, I have something important to tell you." She said in her soft, sweet like honey voice as she rolled onto her back, her blonde curls falling all over her white sheets. I tucked a ringlet behind her ear, and looked her right in the baby blue eyes, smiling at her.

"Yep?"

She was beautiful. She was my best friend, and I told her everything, and she told me everything, and no matter how "terrible" she thought she looked, I had never seen anyone more gorgeous. I thought she could be a model when she was sick and her skin was pale and her eyes had bags, and when we make up was all smudged and made her look like a raccoon. I thought she looked like a star when she was in her sweat pants and one of my t-shirts that was too big for her. She was beautiful, inside and out. She had a love for life, the same kind I did but she had such an innocence about her I didn't want to taint her. She was so good, so pure. No one else saw her the way I did, but hell, I liked it that way. More for me.

"I'm leaving soon as I graduate. Right then." She giggled and smiled at me.

"Are you now?"

She always said things like this. She always knew she was better than this place, than these people. She belonged somewhere else, in a big city, not this small town. She was too much for everyone here.

"Yes."

I trailed my fingers tips from her jawline down her neck and collar bone, between her breasts and down her stomach, down the curve of her hips. She was wearing one of my shirts and a pair of shorts, and there was no trace of make up anywhere on her. As always, she was stunning. "Where are you going then, Ana?"

"I'm going to travel the world first." She said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to go to Canada, and London, and Paris, Tokyo, Vienna, Sydney, anywhere. Everywhere."

I nodded, looking her in the eyes and listening to her plans.

"Then I'm going to move to New York. Maybe I'll become a fashion designer." She tilted her head.

"You'd make gorgeous clothes." I told her, kissing her nose. I always agreed with her, even if she was probably wrong. She didn't know how to work a sewing machine, and she thought most of the clothes in music videos and model shows nowadays were extremely strange.

"I could be a model. I could walk runways and pose in photo shoots for advertisements."

"You're the most beautiful model I've ever seen, darlin." I grinned at her. She got nervous in front of cameras and shy in front of crowds.

"I could be a photographer, or write for a newspaper, or run a charity."

"You'd be wonderful." I agreed. These were all things she'd probably be very good at, but then again, she could probably be good at anything if she tried at it.

"Maybe I'll move to Hollywood and get starred in a dumb reality TV show like on MTV."

I laughed. "Sure, maybe."

"Or maybe I'll become a back up dancer for a famous singer, or maybe even become a singer myself. I could play guitar in a band."

"Sweetie, you don't play guitar."

"I'll learn!" She said defensively. "You can teach me."

"Will do." I said, putting my free hand over my heart. "Promise."

"Pinky swear?"

I took my hand from my heart and stuck my pinky out, then locked it with hers. I brought our locked pinkies closer, kissed where we formed our promise, then I took her hand like the Prince took Cinderella's in the movies, and pressed my lips onto it, raising my eyes up to gaze into her's. She giggled, and leaned in a placed a soft kiss on my lips.

Ana and I had known each other since the kindergarten. We grew up in the same town, being an indirect part of each other's lives through elementary school. I mostly remember her by the fact she was there were two Annas in my grade one class, and she was the one spelled "Ana". Only one "N". I remembered her as that girl who had ribbons in her hair and joined in the soccer game with the boys and got her new dress dirty and cried about it after. I invited her to my 8th birthday and surprisingly she got me a pretty cool present. She seemed to be the last girl in my grade to hit puberty when we all hit that age, and she had braces that were always different colors until middle school. Her hair was blond, and curly and her blue eyes always looked like they were digging holes into you when she looked at you.

We just sort of knew each other, but we didn't talk. We didn't know anything about the other, until one day near the end of grade ten.

We got paired up together to work on the final project for our socials class. It was a huge project that required tons of work and effort and I didn't want to do any of it, so I was really excited to have her as a partner. She was a good student, as I figured she'd just do all the work. When we actually started working together in class, planning out the project and getting information, I started... noticing her. The way the light from the window hit her blonde hair and how she smiled when I made a stupid joke, and how she sat with her ankles crossed. I started actually working on the project, and she helped me, and gave me the answers to questions I was getting wrong, and she laughed and clapped her hands when it proved I was a lot smarter than I had been when the project started.

She was laying in the grass at the park with a poster board and other project supplies hanging around her. It was really hot out, and her hair was up in a ponytail. She wore jean shorts and a white tank top, and I stood beside her with a cigarette, observing and helping her finish the project.

"We're almost done." She announced, grinning up at me. I smiled down at her. By that time, I had feelings for her that I had never acted on, and when the project was done... well, we probably wouldn't see each other a lot anymore, which in all honesty scared me a bit.

I took a drag on my cigarette and turned my head to blow the smoke so the wind would carry it far away from Ana. She smelled like fruits and early spring and I didn't want her to smell like smoke.

"Hey, Uh, Ana, I was wondering if you still wanted to hang out after the project is done, y'know... I could take you to a movie, or dinner. Or I could make dinner. Or something. I .. um."

She looked up at me curiously, and when she understood what I was trying to stay, and stood up, and kissed my cheek quickly. "Yes, I would love to go out with you."

And that, is what brings us to this. Graduation nearing, her leaving, and me... well, I didn't know what I was going to do with myself.

--

It was now early spring, the snow almost melted away, and the sun peeked through the clouds. We were in her room again, and I sat on the floor cross legged with a the guitar balancing on my legs. I strummed blankly at it, watching her. She was laying in bed, with a laptop in front of her and a pencil tucked behind her ear. She wasn't exactly paying a lot of attention to me but I guess that was okay. I was at her place almost everyday, seeing as her Mother was the only other person that lived there and she was hardly there anyways. Ana bit down on her lip, staring at the computer screen, and sighed.

She looked so stressed out these days and she wouldn't talk to me about it. She didn't want to worry me and I knew that, but I loved her and I wanted to know what was on her mind.

So I placed the guitar down and crawled onto the bed, sitting on the back of her legs. I moved her hair to her left, and started kissing the nape of her neck. "Whatcha doin?"

"Studying." She sighed.

"For?"

"Science test. I gotta get a really really good grade."

"How come?"

"So I can get into a good college, silly." She turned her head and I stole a quick kiss before she looked back at the computer. "So I can leave."

"What colleges are you gonna try for?"

"All of em. Any of them that are away from here." She grinned. She was so set on this and it scared me. She was my sunshine, and I couldn't let her go without me.

"But I'm not going to be anywhere." I jutted my bottom lip out into a pout. "You'll be away from me."

"We've still got months left, Christofer. Don't worry yet." She kissed me gently and turned back to her studying.

As much as I sometimes joked around about her leaving, it terrified me beyond belief. I didn't know what I was going to do when she was gone. I didn't know how I'd handle it, not seeing her and not laying in this bed almost everyday talking about nothing and everything and watching silly movies and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't sing her to sleep anymore. I didn't know what to do to make her stay. She was gonna leave me, because it sucked here. It was going to suck here for a long, long time. She had every right to leave. She deserved it more than anyone I'd ever known.

But that didn't stop me from not wanting her to.

--

I held her hand as we walked through the same park I asked her out at. Her hands were warm and soft and fit perfectly into mine and it was such a nice day out I didn't know how I'd break the bad news to her. She was so happy in her pink sundress with her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. She bounced on her heels as she pulled me around the park, talking about all the colleges she applied to, and where she wanted to go.

"I'll go to all those college parties you see in the movies. Maybe I'll even get really drunk and you'll have to carry me home." She giggled.

I chuckled at the thought of it. Now that would be a sight to see.

At the same time, though, I kept noticing the way she referred to her college plans as "our" college plans. I didn't want to go. I wouldn't be going.

"I'm so excited, Chris. I'm leaving. I want to scream and tell everybody I'm leaving. Goodbye park. Goodbye Joplin! I'm gone. I'm leaving!" She stopped walking and grabbed my free hand in hers, and stood in front of me, looking right in her eyes. "There's one thing I won't have to say goodbye to, though."

I tilted my head at her. Her blue eyes were shining and she looked so happy, I thought maybe I could just not tell her today. Maybe another day.

"You, silly. Wherever I go, you're coming."

"You mean like college?"

"Yeah! I'll help you apply and I'll go wherever we're both accepted."

I dropped her hands, and looked at the ground. I saw her concerned expression from the corner of my eye. "Ana, I'm not going to college. I'm... not even going to high school anymore."

"What do you mean, Chris....?" She asked me slowly, grabbing my head and turning it so I was looking her in the eyes.

"I'm dropping out to focus on music."

"Why?! We're so close to grad! We could leave together, get an education... " She trailed off, and looked at the ground. "You can't stay here while I go. I'm sure as hell not staying."

"But baby, that isn't what I want. I want music. That's what I do, okay? What do you want? Do you want an education, do you want to go to college? Cause I won't stop you, but if you just want to get out, I'll find a way for us. Just us."

She nodded slowly, and I wrapped my arms around her waist, and picked her up, swinging her around, and kissed her.

"We'll find a way out of here, sweetie. I promise. I promise."

She nodded. "I believe you."

It took a lot sooner to find our way out than I expected.

--

We sorted everything out quickly as possible. Dates, venues, bands, everything, just in time for graduation. Ana packed up everything she found important in a few days in an excited rush while I read to her all the places we'd go and see in the next few months, and the excitement and happiness between the two of us was intoxicating and contagious.

I sat in the crowd of all the families and friends watching our class graduate, with my hands stuffed into the pockets of the ripped up jeans, and I heard my baby's name being called, and my girl walked on stage with a radiant smile, and took her diploma. I cheered, clapped, and whistled. She caught my eye in the crowd, and waved at me. I winked at her, and she exited the stage, diploma in hand. The rest of the ceremony went on, they threw their caps in the air, and I watched knowing that I could be a part of it, but in the end, I was a part of something much greater.

Families started greeting their kids. Teary eyed moms hugged their daughters and sons and fathers stood by acting strong to hold up everyone else. I stood around and waited for what was to come. I waited for my life to come hit me full on.

And it sure as hell did.

Ana came and ran into my arms, kissing me hard, passionately with tears in her eyes. I swung her around, kissing her, holding her. "I love you, Ana." I said under my breath when we pulled apart. "Baby, I'm so proud of you."

"And I'm proud of you." She grinned. "I already said bye to my Mum. Are we ready to go?"

"All set." I said, as we started exited the hall the graduation ceremony was held at. I held my hand out, and she took it, and we started running. The tour bus was parked outside, waiting.

She pulled off her graduation gown, and grinned at me as we entered the bus, and in what seemed like a minute or two, we left our small town, well on our way to our big city dreams.