Above City Lights Lies the Desert Sun

When Lucy woke the following morning from the early morning sunlight seeping through the cracks between the blinds, she found herself lying naked in a sea of bedsheets that were hugging the warmth of her pink skin.

She groaned at the feel of her skull pounding against her thoughts as she lifted her heavy head from the pillow's surface below, and sensed the nauseous twist that tumbled through the pit of her queasy stomach.

The remembrance of the night before was nothing but a haze wrapped around her cloudy mind, and she was doing all she could to muster up enough strength to pull her thoughts together. But nothing was working, and when she felt the subtle movement of the mattress sink, and pull beneath her, she felt her heavy heart sink to the deepest, and darkest part of her chest.

His mint green eyes were shining so bright, with the morning light pouring against their vibrant surface, and casting specks of gold, and blue within their mix of color. He was looking dead into her pale blue ones, without a word being spoken - without a word being said. The only sounds were the soft hum of his breathing, as he inhaled, and exhaled so calmly between the slight part in his thin lips.

"John."

She spoke his name so softly, terrified of how her voice may sound when it would leave her still swollen pink lips. And when it hit his listening ears, he nearly cringed at the subtle echo of his name dropping from the tip of her tongue.

But he spoke nothing in return, as his body rolled amongst the wrinkled blankets to lie along the flat surface of his back. She observed the way he stared aimlessly up into the shadow casted ceiling - watching the wheels of his thoughts turn inside his mind as he ran his hands over his withered face, before losing the lengths of his fingers somewhere within the depths of his messy hair.

Everything was silent, as she crept closer - her body shifting, and stirring across the cluttered sheets until her pink skin could feel the warmth of his own, smothering her flesh beneath the covers.

"You know, if you're not going to speak, the least you could do is look at me."

Her temped breath struck along the peak of his shoulder as she spoke softly into his raw skin, and peered up at him through thick lashes, and heavy blue eyes.

The back of his heavy head rolled against the fabric of the cream colored pillow, as his half lidded eyes fell from the ceiling that hung above, to peer down at the weary girl who lay tucked against his side.

His entire expression was lifeless, and dull. His green eyes were heavy, and his heart was sunken somewhere inside the depths of his chest.

He laughed softly, as his body shifted amongst the pile of sheets so that his tired eyes peered directly into the deepest part of hers, "I'm still trying to make sense of what led us to this point?"

She smiled to herself as she looked down and away from his harsh stare, while letting the tip of her finger drag along the words on his chest.

"I have a feeling it had something to do with a bottle of whiskey, and one too many beers."

His laugh was muffled against her pink skin, as he pressed his lips into her forehead, and let his hands fall beneath the sheets to rest along the contours of her hips.

Her blues eyes fluttered up to look at him, with a mixture of emotions flooding her face in a single moment - her weak voice cracking as she spoke softly into the morning silence, "I'd forgotten what it was like to wake up next to you like this - the way your skin is so warm against mine."

He smiled lightly, as he pulled her small waist deeper into his own, "I'll take that as a good thing."

She only smiled weakly in return, unsure of what to say, or what should be said. She was lying next to someone that days ago, she no longer thought existed in her life. She only thought he existed as a memory of her past - a good memory - someone to help her through the bad so she could move on. And that's just what he'd been, and that's exactly what he'd done…up until now.

She rolled away from him, his palms slipping from her bare hips, as her body peeled itself away from his to lie along the flatness of her back. She brought a few fingers up to tangle within the strands of her slightly matted hair. She was feeling suffocated from her thoughts, and was in need of letting her eyes close for just a moment. He kept his eyes on her, watching the continuous rise, and fall of her chest as she took deep steady breaths. And just as he was about to reach out, he was forced to hold back.

"John, you love me, right?"

Her words were quick, and in a split moment her head had turned, and her pale eyes that were brimmed with a mix of emotions were peering into the softness of his.

He sat up - the blankets gathering at is waist as he gazed down into her sunken orbs - with a knot in his throat as well as his expression - he was having a difficult time finding something worth saying in that moment.

"Luce -"

"Just answer me - please?" She asked once more, with her voice shaking, and her lips trembling as his body hovered over hers in the midst of the early morning light.

He leaned further down, until his soft lips met the warm skin just below her ear. She felt the tickling impression of his words hit her skin, as he whispered, "I love you more than I should - you know I do," and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders to hold him close against her.

"I can't do this on my own, but I'm so scared that's how it's going to be."

"But I won't let that happen," his voice was rough as his lips kissed the soft skin along her neck, before bringing them back up to meet her own - letting them linger across hers to feel her breath on his face. And all she could do was stare up into his half lidded eyes, and sink into the touch of his fingers brushing over her skin, across her stomach, and down the length of her legs -making her want to sink a little further then she had anticipated.

She lightly kissed the shape of his lips, just enough to taste them against hers, before she pressed her palms flat against his chest, and pushed his body off of hers. She sat up, and felt the fabric of the sheets fall to gather around her bare waist, as she combed a few loose fingers through her tangled locks. Her blues eyes peered down at the boy who was lying nearby with one arm tucked beneath his heavy head, and the other laid out across the sheets for her to fall back into.

But she only leaned over the side of the bed to grab an old t-shirt, and pair of underwear that was lingering on the cool floor nearby. And after pulling the shirt over her head, and pulling the cotton panties up the length of her legs, she let her feet hit the floor, before she began walking towards the open door.

"I'll be in the kitchen making some coffee," she said with a small yawn leaving her lips, as she ran a few fingers through her hair once more, and left him lying amongst the sheets all alone.

***

She sipped at the hot coffee - feeling it burn her lips, as it hit her skin - with her fingers wrapped around the handle of the mug she held, while her body stood, leaning back against the granite countertop.

Her eyes shifted from the floor when she saw him appear from the doorway, and walk into the kitchen with no shirt to cover his body, and wearing the same pair of jeans he'd worn the previous day.

She felt a smile cross her lips at the sight of his messy hair, and heavy green eyes, as he grabbed the mug she'd set out on the counter for him, and he retrieved the pot of coffee from it's place on the counter. No words were spoken as he took a few sips from the mug, and peered out the window that hung just above the sink that he stood in front of.

His green eyes met hers with the turn of his head, but she tried her hardest not to look back, as she set her coffee down, and folded her arms across her chest - like there was an non-existent breeze that she was trying to shield herself from.

"So what happens now?"

She watched him bite his bottom lip, like he was deep in thought, as he took another small sip of coffee, before setting his mug down entirely, "I wish I knew." He shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head faintly at the mere thought.

His eyes looked back over to where she stood, his gaze running up the length of her legs as the morning sun hit their smooth skin - all the way up to the small of her waist, before they broke away, and he was left with nothing but a small smile on his thin lips.

He turned on the heels of his feet so that his back faced the morning sun that was pouring in through the window from behind. His green eyes made a sharp glance - watching the way she took a few steps closer, until her feet stood planted in front of his, and he was forced to look somewhere in her deep blue eyes.

And not once did he hesitate when reaching forward, and letting his palms fall to rest on the subtle curves of her hips - almost like it was a natural thing - almost like it was something he'd done everyday of his life.

Her body was warm, as it leaned into his, and she laid her head down on the plains of his chest. Her arms hung loosely around his thin waist, as she closed her eyes, and listened to the beating of his heart that was pressed against her ear.

"You need to make a decision Luce," he said softly into her ear, before he pressed his lips into the waves of her hair, and ran the lengths of his calloused fingers down her spine, through the fabric of her shirt.

She shivered at the feel, before sighing against his skin, "I know," she said softly, as their bodies swayed slightly from side to side, with their arms holding each other, and their subtle breaths taking over the air around them.

She could feel his lips kiss her hair - kiss her shoulder - kiss her face, and then her neck, causing her to smile, or laugh lightly when he would tickle her skin with his lips.

"John?"

"Hmm?" His chin was resting atop her head, as he closed his eyes, and pulled her tighter against his chest.

"No matter the decision, you know - you'll always be my first choice."

"Yeah - I know," he let out a breath into her hair, and grazed his long fingers across the skin that was hidden just beneath the hem of her shirt, "but that doesn't mean it won't hurt."

"I love you John," she mumbled, with her full lips pressed into his warm skin, "just remember that," she kissed his cheek, "okay - just remember that for me?"

"You know I will, no matter how much it might hurt, you know I'll never forget that," he smiled faintly, as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and gently pressed a kiss to the side of her face.

She felt her heart sink at the feeling of his thin lips touching her skin - because choosing between living two different lives never felt so rough. She missed the comfort, the sun, the safety, and warm nights that she'd left behind in the Arizona heat, but she knew better anyone that Boston was bound to hold her feet to the ground when all was said, and done, and there was no more time to think about the decision she was forced to make in such a short amount of time.