Waiting for a Breaking Heart

“Shaaaaana!” The blond girl whined buried under a pile of clothes in my closet.

“Taaaabby!” I responded standing in my bathroom curling a strand of my long brown hair. I finished and placed a headband with grey flowers into my hair. I tugged my black jacket over my shoulders as I walked into my room.

“Help me look hot!” She exclaimed throwing more clothes around my room.

I was a little irritated that my all my neat clothing was scattered across the room. “Why should I? You made a mess,” I retorted joking with her.

The little blond crawled to my feet and begged me from her knees. “Please? I’ll never get any boy if I dress myself. Well I mean getting any attention standing next to you will be a surprise, but still!”

I knew she was only complimenting me to get my help. That’s how she was. The only time it was about me was when I could help her.

I was beginning to wonder why I hadn’t really noticed this before. For all those years I let Tabby push me around without questioning it.

“Come on girlie you know you love to play dress up.”

I smiled giving in, it was true. I loved to dress people up. It was my one true girly downfall. I loved to shop and play with fashion.

After sorting through my clothing again, I finally got Tabby dressed and doing her makeup. It was a long difficult process to get this girl moving.

“Why are you so concerned about looking nice tonight?” I fiddled with the hem of my shirt waiting for her. I sat on the end of my bed tapping the floor lightly.

Tabby turned to look at my while she straightened her pretty blond hair. “Why are you all dressed up?” She asked back raising an eyebrow.

I laughed, “I’m always dressed up. I’m obsessed with fashion, remember?” I leaned on my knees closer to her. “Seriously, stop avoiding it; why are you putting in so much effort tonight? We’re only going to see a concert.”

Tabby finished what she was doing and jumped onto my bed. She grabbed a fluffy pillow and held it to her chest. A girly grin pulled at her lips.

I knew that look. Tabby always was the girly one that gushed about guys and dreamed about the perfect boyfriend. That look said she was crushing on someone. She went through crushes like nobody’s business. I wasn’t really worried.

“Well…” She let out a giggle and shook about a little bit. “It started at that party. I got into a bad situation and Alex saved me.” A light pink tint flushed her cheeks.

I blinked in disbelief at what she had just said. Alex. Tabby was going after Alex? “Alex totally isn’t your type though? I was putting so much money on you hooking up with Zack.”

Another astonishingly girly giggle passed her ruby red lips. “Yeaa but Alex is just so I don’t know. He’s like…” She trailed off staring out the window.

“A total player?” I suggested trying to finish her sentence. “Seriously Tabby, Alex hasn’t had a girlfriend since freshman year. He gets with girls almost constantly.”

She threw the pillow at me. “Shut up! You don’t know anything about him! He’s so sweet and adorable.”

I rolled my eyes and got off the bed. I honestly didn’t know why I was trying to convince her not to go after Alex. Tabby was a big girl she could deal with a wild boy. I was pissed about it all. It made me even more upset to not understand why I was pissed.

Two honks signaled that the boys were here to pick us up. My blond friend squealed and ran downstairs. I ran a hand through my bangs as I followed her. I said a goodbye to my mom as I closed the door behind myself.

The night was cold and bit at my nose as I stepped into it. The headlights of the van illuminated Alex’s sleek car. It also illuminated Tabby twirling her hair with that ‘precious’ smile. Alex was leaning against the car with his hand placed so that his arm was brushing her shoulder.

My converse on the sidewalk made soft sounds. Alex turned his head in my direction. “Hey, we figured you wouldn’t want to ride in the cramped van so we brought my car as well.”

I walked past him and opened the side door of the van. “Nah, I’m good.” I said almost sneering and hopped into the dimly lit vehicle. Jack and I sat in the back of the van on the trip to the venue. Zack rode shot gun while Matt drove. Kara and Rian were in the middle seats.

“Alright, Shana can you take Jack’s guitar back stage for me?” Matt asked pointing towards the back door to the venue. I nodded wrapping the strap over my shoulder.

The van was almost completely unloaded now. Our group stood backstage getting ready for the show. Jack out of nowhere jumped onto my back and knocked me onto the small couch.

“Banana! I’m nervous!” He shouted rubbing his face into the back of my hair.

I pushed him off and fixed my hair while laughing. “It’s okay Jacky! Do you wanna dance? That always helps.”

The both of us got up and turned on an ipod. Goofy dancing spread like it was contagious through the room. Matt walked in not long after and told the guys to start warming up.

“Kara have you seen Tabby?” I asked the only other girl as I searched for my friend.
Kara’s eyes searched around as well. “No…oh wait! Is that her with Alex over there?” She pointed towards the door by the stage.

The brunette boy had that charming smirk and an arm lazily on her shoulder as he turned to speak to her.

A noise of disgust came out of my mouth as I stuck my tongue out. Kara laughed and turned towards me again. “Not fond of that?”

I shook my head and groaned. “It just sickens me. It shouldn’t be happening. My best friend is supposed to go after decent guys.”

“Alex is a decent guy though. Is there another reason why you wouldn’t want them together?” She asked. Kara always was more mature and level headed about things than any of us.

I wasn’t given time to answer because Matt said the guys had to go on. Tabby joined us and we walked into the actual venue to watch the boys play.

It was a bar venue. I didn’t like coming to the bar venues. There was always the chance of that drunken idiot stirring up drama.

The boys, as always, were amazing. Jack was his energetic self as he bounced around the stage. Rian smiled when his eyes met Kara’s. Zack gave the occasional burst of energy playing his bass. Alex. Alex was breathtaking. He always sang with such emotion.

The lights dimmed and they walked off the stage. The crowd cheered and dispersed. Soon dance music began to play through the speakers. Rian quickly came to collect his girlfriend.

Tabby and I were sitting at a table waiting for the other guys to come out. An older male walked up to us and smiled at Tabby. Now is when my automatic distrust of men flares up.

“Hey cutie, you wanna dance?” He gruffly asked with a smile. He must have been in his late twenties.

I scoffed taking control of the conversation. “Hitting on teenagers doesn’t make you cool creep.” I retorted with a sharp glare.

“I wasn’t talking to you was I? I was talking to the pretty blond.” His gaze turned onto Tabby once again.

She looked at me and back at him. “Well…”

“Let me clear it up for you. She doesn’t want to.” I answered not liking where this was going already.

He took a step towards Tabby and I stood from my chair instinctively.

“Fuck off.” I growled knowing I was quite a bit smaller than he was.

The collar of my jacket was grasped and pulled me close to him. “Hey bitch, do you want to start something?” He growled right back at me.

“Shana!” I could hear someone shout my name from some obscure corner of the room. I didn’t have the guts to take my eyes off of the man in front of me though.

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared up at the man. “Let me go.” I commanded.

All I got in response was a smirk. I didn’t take another second to bring my knee forcefully into his groin and turn quickly to slam my elbow into his nose. He stumbled back holding his bleeding face.

“Now fuck off or I’ll do worse you bastard.”

The man looked like he was going to straighten up and come back at me. Something changed in his eyes and he walked off with a scoff. A hand was placed on my shoulder causing me to turn.

I looked up to see Jack looking me up and down for any injuries. He paused for a second and pulled me into a tight hug.

As soon as I was released two more hands turned me around. Alex held me tightly by the shoulders. His chocolate eyes were raging. “Shana what the fuck do you think you were doing?”

With forced I knocked his hands off. “He wasn’t leaving Tabby alone and if you didn’t notice; he grabbed me first.” I shot back at him.

“God! You’re so stupid! Do you realize what could have happened?” Alex shouted causing eyes to turn towards us.

“Yes! I do! And obviously I was prepared for it! He was the one bleeding, not me!” I turned my head away from him indignantly.

“You always fucking act without thinking of the consequences! Like you’re fucking untouchable!” He yelled right back at me.

I refused to respond and kept looking away from him. Alex sighed in annoyance and walked away. He moved to take the seat next to Tabby.

“Are you okay Banana?” Jack asked wrapping me up in another hug.

I didn’t return the hug. I let my arms hang by my side. I was honestly a little peeved that everyone was so upset about that event. The guy’s nose was obviously broken. Can’t they see I can take care of myself? “I’m fine Jack.”

Jack whined and tightened the hug. “Shana don’t use that tone with me.” He held me out at arm length and stared into my eyes with his deep brown ones. “You could have been hurt. We were just worried.”

“I know what you’re getting at. I’m not apologizing to Alex. He shouldn’t think I’m just always going to get in trouble.” I crossed my arms and sticking my nose up.

The skunk striped boy moved his hands to lightly pull on my curls. “Just because you look invulnerable with your chin held high, doesn’t mean you are Banana.” He sighed shaking his hair a bit. “Alex is right; you’re going to get yourself into something serious if you keep acting this way.”

I scowled and turned on my heel to walk away from Jack and everyone else. I didn’t need anyone telling me what I could and couldn’t do. I didn’t need anyone period. I was strong enough to handle myself.

The soles of my shoes tapped lightly together as they dangled from the metal fire escape. I sighed looking through the metal bars and down on the alley behind the venue. Matt had just finished loading the van back up.

The back door opened and two people stumbled out. I held back a chuckle at the drunk hook up about to happen. It really took a lot to not drop something on them.

For some reason I couldn’t move myself to go back inside and not creep on this obviously wasted couple. Maybe it was the grey beanie and red hoodie the male adorned. Or perhaps it was the blond wearing a hair piece identical to the one I had in my collection.

Curiosity killed the cat.

The female was pushed up against the wall. The male pressed his body into hers and whispered something in her ear. An annoyingly girly giggle fled the female’s mouth, “Oh Alex…”

It took two words to uproot me from my spot. I flew back into the venue not wanting to see how Tabby worked boys.