Mature

Jimmy stepped away from his drums and crossed his arms over his chest. He was already sweating and he hadn't even started playing yet. Upon finding his set complete and not needing a single change, he sat down on the small stool behind it. He was waiting for the guys to make a practice round. The bands had arrived earlier in the day in Las Vegas.

Jimmy knew Hillari only had two more days left on the tour, which meant he had two more days to prove to her he was okay. As much as he hated to say it, or even think it, he was wishing he hadn't asked her to come along. Jimmy didn't want to risk seeing Hillari get upset or realize he really may need medical attention if he didn't take it easy on tour.

He ran a heavy hand across his wet chest and took in a deep breath. Even though he swallowed his medication earlier in the day, he couldn't shake the heaviness on his chest. It seemed like every major amount of movement caused him to take a break. The curtains behind him moved and caught his attention quickly.

Jimmy dropped his arm, afraid someone would think the worst. The guys stepped through, joking and laughing amongst themselves. Jimmy only left earlier to get his thoughts together. Yet when Zacky turned in his direction, the look on his face seemed to have made Jimmy sink back. It wasn't a look of anger or pain, but of sadness and curiosity.

Zacky knew just as well as Jimmy that something was going on. He was only hoping that Zacky would tell anyone in the band and especially Hillari. If she found out than Jimmy would be pulled off the tour whether he liked it or not. Just one look at Hillari's face would put him in his place. That's what he hated about the women he loved.

Anything they said, that concerned him and his health, went. He couldn't bare to see them upset or angry over his actions, so he only did as told. His band mates may call him wiped, but he only cared for them. After the rest of the guys set up their equipment, Angela came strolling in, nodding her head softly to the ear buds in her ears.

She yanked them from her head and smiled happily at the guys. Before Jimmy asked how she was, Shadows intervined and said, "Hey, Angela! We ready to play?"

"Yes, you guys can play."She grinned."I'm here to get a crowds perspective."

It would only be one song they would play, but now that Angela was around, he was more than sure that Shadows would want to play some more. They readied their set and eventually began to play, but Jimmy wasn't necesarrily in the mood yet. He didn't have the hiped feeling he normally got. Jimmy never needed a crowd to get excited to play his drums.

He must have messed up, though, because Brian turned to him with a questioning stare. Jimmy continued to play along to And All Things Will End, but the more he exerted the energy, the more his chest tightened up on him. Once the song was done, Jimmy escaped his seat and went in search for his tour bus. He needed his medication and fast.

He was afraid to know how doubling his medicine would affect him, but at the moment, that was all he wanted. The doctor specifically told him not to do so, but at this point in time, he couldn't help it. He pulled open the doors to the bus and scrambled his way up the steep steps. He barrelled into the kitchen and threw open the cabinets.

His hands shook slightly as he cupped his medicine viles, but once he had the pills in hand, he threw them into his mouth. He filled a cup completely with water, making sure he downed the whole thing. When all was said and done, he took in a deep breath. Jimmy sat down on the living room couch and sighed quietly to himself. Maybe one show wasn't that big of a deal.

It would only be a single show he would be missing out on, so it's not quitting on the band. He brushed his hair back with his hands and shook his head. He must have been stupid to think that taking a physical and playing at Hillari's birthday was a good way of proving to the guys he could play. Jimmy knew he should have thought this over, but he was too excited.

No, it was his pride. Jimmy didn't want to swallow his pride and let the guys win over him. He was too strong for that. Yes, he was in his forties, but that didn't mean he was old. He wouldn't consider himself old until he was in a wheel chair. He was fun loving, charismatic Jimmy. Everyone loved him for being so hyper and crazy.

He couldn't change now. Jimmy was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when quiet foot steps echoed onto the front of the bus. He turned toward the door, smiling warmly when Angela walked in. She gave him a small wave before sitting next to him on the couch. The room stayed silent for a few moments before Angela asked, "What's going on, Jimmy?"

"What do you mean?"She shot him an angry glare, making his head drop.

"I've known you for too long, now. It's been a few years and all, but you guys are still the same as you used to be. Trust me."She grinned."Now, what's going on? You seem a little distant from everyone."

"I guess the guys didn't tell you what happened to me, huh?"Jimmy sat up in his seat and gave a small frown.

Angela shook her head, which made Jimmy tell her everything. He explained how he had found Hillari a few years back when she was seventeen years old. He told Angela how much he cares and loves his daughter, no matter what happens. And then, he told her how his heart had been acting up. Jimmy explained that he was on medication and as of now, it's not doing it's job.

If Angela were any other person, he wouldn't have broken. Yet knowing how she was, he could trust her. Angela placed a gentle hand on his thigh and sighed quietly. In a sweet voice, she said, "I'm sorry, Jimmy. I didn't know so much has happened to you. I'm more than happy you found your daughter. I never knew, but then again, I never really spoke to Leana."

"Yeah, she didn't like you much."Jimmy chuckled.

"I can agree with that."She laughed."I didn't learn of her passing until it was in the papers. Now, I'm sorry things are going to shit for you, but you have to listen to your body. Have you told anyone that your heart has been acting up?"

Jimmy let his head fall, knowing that whether he said no or stayed silent, Angela would lecture him.

"That's a real smart thing to do, Jimmy."She scoffed."You have to tell someone. Even Matt. He's been your best friend since before you guys even knew about eachother."

Jimmy chuckled quietly and said, "Yeah, that's true."

"You need to consider your health, Jimmy. If not for yourself, then for Hillari. Even if you just sit out a few shows. You're not giving up on the band, you're making sure you stay safe."Angela stood from her seat, but before she said her goodbyes, she added, "Let me get the band and you can tell them everything. We'll help you out, Jimmy, I promise."

"Thanks, Angela."Jimmy stood as well and pulled her into a tight hug.

That was all he needed. Jimmy only needed someone to talk to. Someone who wouldn't criticize him on anything he said. He pulled away from her and looked toward the door. He knew that within a few moments the band would be piling in. They had a good few hours before the show started, so they had enough time to call either Jason or Arin.

As Angela left to retrieve the guys, Jimmy sat and waited for them. He sat and contemplated the ideas and things he was going to say. But no matter how much he thought about it, he still wouldn't know how to word it when they got in the bus. Within a few moments, he was watching the guys pile in. He was happy to know Bullet and Papa Roach were keeping Hillari busy.

They all sat around, looking uncomfortable and uneasy. The guys were never good when it came to a group talking. They were like guilty little kids; they always thought they were in trouble. Johnny must have shifted in his seat multiple times before saying, "Okay, this isn't about me, right? I've done nothing wrong. I haven't even picked on Bri - "

"No, Johnny."Angela giggled."This isn't about you. Just give it a few minutes and you'll understand."

Shadows put a nervous smile on his face before throwing an arm over Angela's shoulder. She flinched slightly on the weight, unsure of what to think, but once she realized it was her first love, she only settled closer to him. If Jimmy was thinking correctly, he could swear by the end of the tour they would be back together. He knew how much Shadows missed her.

Jimmy let out a quiet sigh before saying, "Yeah, it's about me. You guys can relax now. You're not in trouble."

He could almost feel the tension in the room melt away.

"You guys are like scared puppy dogs."He scoffed."Honestly. You get nervous too easily."

"It just reminds me of that interrogation I had back in '97 with - "Brian cut Johnny off quickly.

"Yes, we remember. You came out crying."Brian smirked.

"I was scared!"Angela moved forward, glaring angrily in their direction.

"Let him talk!"They sat back in their seats, feeling defeated.

Holding back his laughter, Jimmy continued on.

"It's my heart, guys."He placed a light hand on his chest, feeling the tightening loosen up slightly."It's been coming down on me hard. I should have known that a birthday party wasn't going to bring me close to the standards I need for a tour. I - I might have to sit a show out, guys."

Jimmy frowned, not sure of what else to add. He wanted to tell the guys how much he was fearful of his disease, but he didn't want to go to far. The topic was emotional for Jimmy, because it was telling him that he was giving up. As much as he faught for it, he would only lose in the end. Shadows came forward and placed a tight hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, man. We can call Jason and Arin and see who can make it up here. We have plenty of time. If this keeps up we'll cancel a sho -"Shadows started.

"Absolutely not!"Jimmy cried."You will not ever cancel a show!"

"Jimmy, if it's for your health,"Shadows frowned.

"I don't give two shits if I'm dying on the bathroom floor. Do not cancel a show. You know how that will make the fans feel?"Jimmy said.

"Fuck the fans!"Shadows errupted."Fuck every one of them! If you need medical help, we'll make sure you get it! You come first! You and every one of us come first before the fucking fans, Jimbo! If you need a doctor, we'll bring you to one as quick as we can. Your heart is acting up - we'll keep an eye on you. I promise."

"Just one thing,"Jimmy pleaded."don't let Hill -"

Zacky slammed a fist against the counter, gaining Jimmy's attention. Jimmy followed Zacky's quick gaze and turned back toward the front of the bus. Hillari stood there, holding a guitar in hand. He watched as it slipped from her fingers and sat against the floor. Just by how she was standing, Jimmy could tell she was upset. When he looked into her eyes, he knew.

Hillari had heard the whole thing, so there was no hiding it. It broke his heart as he called after her, but she only let the guitar hit the floor before she escaped out the doors. Jimmy's eyes welled up as he thought of how much he must have hurt his little girl. He turned back toward the guys, shaking his head angrily. Loudly, he said, "I'm such a fucking idiot!"

He threw a fist into the counter, forcing Angela to step back. She quickly took Jimmy by the arm and said, "Don't worry, Jimmy, she'll be okay. Let me have a girl to girl with her."

"She doesn't know you."Jimmy cried.

"I'm the only woman here. I can try my best."She frowned."I'll be right back. Just calm down, Jimmy. Think of your heart."

Think of your heart. That wasn't what he could think about anymore. He could only think about how he was going to explain his sickness to Hillari.