Mature

Shadows had told me not to panic for everyone's sake, but panicing was the first thing that came to mind. I didn't know Jimmy's status or if he was even alive. Shadows and Devin had their fair share of tears, which was the main thing that worried me. I had never seen Shadows upset since I've known him and only seen Devin tear up on occasion. I couldn't do anything but panic.

I turned in Shadows direction and gave him a sympathetic look. He tried to give me a comforting smile, but forcing a happy emotion at a time like this would be rare. In a quiet, shakey voice, I asked, "Where are we?"

"We're in Pheonix, Arizona. Just got here, actually."His voice was monotone.

I shook my head and looked outside. People came and went like it was an everyday thing. I always hated seeing people leave crying, or even come into the hospital crying. I would wonder what would cause their sadness, but in the end I never thought twice about it. Now that we were here and upset, people would surely be thinking the same thing.

After a few quiet moments we would slip their minds forever. I wrapped my arms around Devin as another nurse made her way toward the bus. I had promised myself not to get angry, because in all the nurses had nothing to do with how Jimmy currently was. I had apologized to the young nurse a few moments ago after I had calmed down and she accepted.

I walked up to the nurse and she gave me a warm smile. It was not faked or forced. Just by the look on her wrinkling face you could tell she meant it. She stuck her hand in my direction and introduced herself as Darby. I gave a weak shake before asking, "Can I see him yet?"

"Not yet, dear."She frowned."I'm afraid I don't know much on his condition, just that he's awake and hooked up to a few machines. It's nothing drastic, but it'll let us know if his heart beat fluctuates or stops."

I let my head fall slightly and nodded my head. I wanted to see Jimmy and I wanted to see him now.

"Why can't I see him yet?"There was a slight snap in my voice, but I didn't quite mean it.

"That's up to the doctor to decide, sweetheart."She said sweetly.

"I want to make sure he's okay."I whimpered.

I could feel my heart accelerate with the panic and fear I had for Jimmy. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my cool. I couldn't afford to snap at another person because I didn't like their answer. I brushed my hands through my thick hair and felt a whimper rise within my throat. Devin stepped in and said, "He's not in the best state, Hillari. The way they're taking care of him now will scare you."

"I don't give a shit about what they're doing to him, Devin. I want him to know we're here for him!"Shadows lightly tugged on my arm, forcing me to face him.

"Don't panic."He breathed."Remember what I told you. He's going to be okay, Hillari."

The nurse exited off the tour bus, but two more people crowded on. I watched with watery eyes as Jacoby and Matt Tuck stepped up, worrying filling the lines on their faces. Zacky walked passed us saying he would tell them what was going on while we stood back and waited. Zacky waved his hand while he spoke, but I never caught what he had to say.

Jacoby and Matt turned in our direction and gave me a sad stare. I didn't want to have others feel sympathy for me. I wanted them to comfort eachother. Everyone on the bus, with the exception of Devin and I, have known Jimmy the longest. Jacoby ran a rough hand down his face before making his way toward us.

I went to step away, thinking he wanted to speak to Shadows, but he quickly pulled me into a tight hug. I bit back my tears as he whispered, "I'm sorry, Hillari. Just stay calm and he'll be okay."

"I know."It must have been his caring voice, because within seconds I had broken down.

He ran a gentle hand up and down my back, trying to keep me quiet. The only thing I could do was wrap my arms around him and cry. I dug my face into his shoulder and let my tears free fall. If you had asked me two weeks ago what I would be doing on this date, I never would have told you I would be crying into my favourite rocker's t - shirt.

I pulled away from him after a few moments and wiped my face dry. Matt Tuck walked over to the group and placed a hand on my shoulder. Calmly, he asked, "How's everyone holdin' up?"

"We're okay."I nodded my head and tried to clear my throat some.

A yawn suddenly piled through my lips and I leaned up against Devin. He wrapped a loose arm around my waist and pulled me close to his chest. Shadows looked up at Matt and Jacoby with a slightly confused expression.

"I need to cancel the show."He said quietly.

"Already done man."Jacoby patted him on the back and forced a small grin."We took care of it. We're off the show too."

"You guys didn't have to do that you know."He said.

"Jimmy's our friend too, Shadows."Matt smiled."We can't sit back and play knowing our friend is in the hospital."

Even through the sadness, a smile creeped up along my lips. I didn't realize they had that much appreciation for a fellow drummer. I dug my face into Devin's chest and took in a deep breath. Jimmy was alone in the hospital, giving us our entire imagination to try and think of what went wrong. Devin pulled me into a tight hug and whispered, "He'll be okay, Hillari. We'll see him as soon as we can."

I had managed to change into a pair of shorts and a tank top before heading into the hospital. The heat in this large state was horrible, even during the early morning hours. It was almost nine o' clock and we still hadn't heard any news on Jimmy. We were working on three and a half hours before any sort of doctor or nurse came out to consult us.

They had little information on Jimmy's status, except for the fact that he was awake, though groggy, and aware of his surroundings. I ran an annoyed hand down my face and scoffed loudly. I begining to become annoyed with their timing and Devin quickly took notice. He looked over at me and asked, "Want to get a bite to eat? Bring back something for the guys?"

"I'm okay."I frowned."I want to stay here and make sure nothing happens."

Jacoby, who sat on my left, turned his gaze on me before adding his two cents. I understand he was trying to be helpful, but I didn't want the help right now. I only wanted to stay at the hospital and wait everything out.

"Maybe you should go."He added."Just to get you out of here for a while. I can guarentee by the time you come back we'll still be sitting here."

"Honestly, I'm fine. I'd rather wait."I retorted.

"I'm sure you're hungry, Hillari."Shadows commented."We all are. It'll get your mind off of Jimmy for a little while. What do you say? Here,"

Shadows dug his hand into his pocket to retrieve his wallet. He flipped open the leather case and pulled out his credit card. He pushed it in my direction and said, "Just put the food on this. Get whatever you want."

"Really,"Devin took my hand and grew slightly annoyed.

"Come on, Hillari. We're hungry. We'll be quick, I promise."He said.

"We'll call you if anything happens."Shadows assured me."I promise."

I let my shoulder slump in defeat before getting to my feet. I pushed Shadow's credit card away, but he insisted we get everyone's food on his bill. I made a small list of what everyone wanted before Devin and I headed out to the tour bus. I called 411 and waited patiently for an operator to connect me to a Taxi service. After growing frustrated quickly, I managed to snag one.

Before Devin and I walked off the bus, I turned to the bus driver and gave him a warm smile. Politely, I asked, "Do you want anything to eat? We're going to bring some stuff back."

"I'm okay, sweetheart."He smiled."Thankyou, though."

"I'll make sure I bring you back some pizza."I grinned.

His soft chuckles were cut off by the bus door. We were unable to stay parked in front of the hospital, for obvious reasons, so all three buses were forced to take up the space at the end of the parking lot. Devin and I smoked nearly half a pack of cigarettes waiting for the taxi to come. The drive was short when he arrived and he happily waited for us while we ordered our food.

I watched as Devin stole a bite of his sandwhich and smiled warmly. Everyone was hungry and I couldn't blame them. We all had been up for a few hours without a single thing to eat or drink. Devin and I managed to fight with the food bags and get them into the car. He drove off toward the hospital quietly, leaving Devin and I to converse.

I looked in his direction as he munched down on his food and sighed quietly. I had a lot of questions, but I knew they couldn't be answered just yet. A few moments went by in silence before I asked, "Do you think he's okay, Dev?"

He swallowed down the food in his mouth before replying, "I'm sure he is, Hillari. He's been fine every time so far, so why not know?"

"This time was different, though."I frowned."He collapsed. If you hadn't of found him,"

"Hey,"I looked back up at Devin, who gave me a cheeky grin."don't even think about that. He was found and that's all that matters. The driver got him to the hospital in time. He's okay. Eat your food before it gets cold and don't worry about him. He's going to come out of the hospital wanting a cigarette like he's never had one before. Trust me on this."

I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at his last comment. Devin always seemed to be there for me at the right time. I couldn't ask for a better friend and boyfriend. I dug my fingers into the bag on my lap in search for my cold sandwhich. When I reached it I happily bit down into the many flavors it had. I groaned quietly as I enjoyed each bite.

"That place makes amazing food."I laughed.

"What did you get?"Devin peeked over at my sandwhich with a smile.

That was just another thing I could count on him for. He always made me smile, even in the worst situations going.

"Nothing good."I pulled my food away with a smirk.

"Let me try it."He reached for my sandwhich, but I only smacked his hand away."Bite for a bite?"

"You're crazy. Here,"He stole a large chunk from my sandwhich before groaning loudly into the back seat.

I laughed at his reaction and stole my food back from him.

"That is the best fucking Italian Hero I've had in my life."He sighed.

"I'd save you some, but I could eat a horse right now."I giggled.

Devin and I joked back and forth before loud vibrations filtered through the taxi. I froze up and my happy feeling had vanished within thin air. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, quietly sighing when I saw Matt on the screen. Devin gave me a sympathetic smile as I put it to my ear.

"What's going on?"I asked quietly.

"You can come back. They're going to let us in soon."Shadows stated.

"Is he okay?"I was afraid to ask.

"Come back and see for yourself."I could hear him groan on the other end."I can almost smell the food from this end of the phone."

"If that's your way of making me laugh because of what's going on, it's not working."I frowned."We should be there in a few minutes."

Devin watched as I finished off the quick conversation. When I put my phone away, he asked, "How is he?"

"He told me to come back and see for myself."I whispered.

"That's a good thing, though."Devin chimed up."If he was bad he would have told you."

"I don't think so, Dev."I shoved my sandwhich back into the bag it had come in.

I had suddenly lost my appetite.