Mature

I stepped up to Jimmy's front door and knocked only a few times. I could hear his muffled voice from inside and I smiled wildly. I shifted the strap to my purse on my shoulder as I waited for Jimmy to get to the door. It swung open soon and he gave me a happy grin. He was fumbling his cigarettes and cell phone in one hand, all the while trying to give me a hug.

I laughed to myself as he dropped the few things in his hand. He groaned in annoyance as I picked them up. I pulled them away as he reached for them and asked, "Want me to put them in my purse?"

"Do I get to hold it?"I laughed at his response as I stuck the few things in my bag.

"Where to?"Jimmy and I walked our way to my car in the drive way.

"Get a bite to eat. Then we can hit the beach?"I nodded my head as I began to pull out of the drive.

Jimmy had been home nearly a week before I had gotten a phone call. He was still looking forward to our small father - daughter date he had promised me in the hospital. He still had the sling wrapped around his neck and arm, yet he mentioned he was feeling much better. I was happy to know that even though Jimmy had gone through so much, he would still be the same.

The disease and stress wasn't taking a toll on his emotions, which I was grateful for. I think that the band was grateful as well, knowing they hadn't lost the spunky, charismatic drummer they've grown up with. It put a smile on my face, knowing very well that despite the difficulties draining Jimmy's life away, he kept his head held high the whole time.

I pulled up alongside the local resturant and got out of the car. Jimmy stubbed out his cigarette on the pavement before kicking the door shut behind him. His mouth slowly dropped when he saw the Italian resturant to our side. He looked over at me and said, "You must have read my mind, Little Sullivan."

"Well it was this or Wendy's."I snickered.

I walked with Jimmy to the front, but before I could grab the door, he pulled it open.

"After you."He smiled.

"Isn't it crippled before women?"He playfully kicked me in the rear as I walked in.

We were given seats rather quickly and our food came at a fast pace. I wasn't sure if it was the rocker persona he had or that everyone knew who he was, but I wouldn't complain. I bit down into my burger and felt a low growl pucker at the bottom of my throat. Something about biting into a greasy mess only made me feel the guilty pleasure more.

Jimmy chuckled as he stabbed his fork into his salad. I looked up, mouth full of food and asked, "What?"

"I think you're enjoying that too much."He snickered.

"It's good. Here, have a bite."I shoved it in his direction, watching as his eyes followed my hand.

He reached forward the take the cheese burger from my hands, but I quickly swiped it back.

"Nope. You have to eat healthy!"I laughed.

"What's one bite?"He snatched the food from my hands and bit into it.

He playfully rolled his eyes back and swallowed the lump in his mouth. He handed back my greasy food and said, "Yeah, that's to die for."

Jimmy and I swapped stories as we continued to eat. We refused to leave without a small dessert when we finished. I dug my spoon into my ice cream sundae and offered him a warm smile. He poked his fork into his cheese cake and groaned at the taste. Cheese cake never suited my fancy; it always made my stomach hurt. I looked up at Jimmy, wanting desperately to create an old conversation.

With a genuine smile, I said, "Wanna play twenty questions?"

He let his fork drop slightly and chuckled. When Jimmy and I had first started talking on the phone, twenty questions came in rather quickly. We'd swap questions back and forth until someone had to go. He nodded his head and said, "You start."

I placed my spoon at my lips and thought for a moment. I had a lot of questions to ask him, but I didn't want to offend him in any way. I wanted to ask how he felt about his disease. I wanted to question him on his worries about the little things. I mainly wanted to ask if he was worried about ever drumming again. Quietly, I asked, "Favourite dessert?"

Jimmy looked down at his food and laughed.

"Really?"He asked.

"We gotta start somewhere."I smiled.

"Cheese cake."I scrunched my nose up in disgust."Have you ever tried this delicious dessert?"

"Yes and it makes me sick. Your turn."I scooped another bite of vanilla ice cream and fudge into my mouth.

"Do you plan on going back to school?"He rose his eyebrow playfully.

"Yes, eventually."I said."Favourite tour moment?"

Jimmy stopped to laugh hysterically to himself. I gave him an odd look as I tried to think of what could possibly be so funny about touring. When he finally caught his breath, he said, "Johnny waking up drunk and pissing on Brian's dad. He thought - he thought he was in the bathroom!"

I choked back a laugh as I swallowed the ice cream in my mouth. He had to be joking.

"Really?"I chuckled.

"Really. Papa Gates was a little pissed off."He laughed.

"I would be too!"I smiled."What do you got?"

"Wanna hit the beach?"Jimmy pushed his food away and smiled.

"Sounds good to me."I rose from my seat after much debating on who would pay.

Jimmy agreed I would tip the elder woman and we quickly made our way outside. I shielded my eyes from the sun as we walked along the board walk. We eventually found a small, secluded area on the beach that we would happily sit on. I balanced myself across the hot California sand and plopped down near the ocean. Jimmy followed my lead and dug his hand into his pocket.

He pulled out a dishevled cigarette and lit it quickly for a man with one arm. I copied Jimmy's actions and sat back on my elbows. The sun wasn't setting and the breeze wasn't cool, yet we still found the event relaxing. I sighed quietly before taking a drag of my cigarette. Jimmy cleared his throat and said, "Well,"

"Well what?"I asked.

"It's your turn."He smiled.

I chuckled lightly and let the smoke crawl out of my lungs. I took in a deep breath and asked, "Are you afraid of your own heart?"

Jimmy stayed silent for a few moments. I was unsure on whether or not he would say yes. I didn't want to hear him tell me he was afraid. I didn't want to have Jimmy explain that he knew he was dying. The main sentence I didn't want to hear was it was only a matter of time.

"No."He finally admitted."I'm not. Yes, I may have a heart disease, but obviously I haven't stopped yet."

"Do you think -"I began.

"Nope, it's my turn."He winked.

I nodded my head as he continued.

"Are you afraid of my own heart?"He asked.

I bit back a quick yes and thought for a moment. I let my head drop slightly and just to kill more time, stole another pull of my cigarette. I felt my lips curl up into a smile as I said, "No, I'm not."

"Are you ly -"I was the one to cut him off this time.

"My turn. Why aren't you afraid?"I asked.

"Having a big heart is a good thing."He seemed so sincere about it."It just shows that I have so much love for everyone. It makes me kind of happy to know that I'm slowly getting enough room to know how I really feel about my friends and family."

My smile slowly started to fade. This once happy conversation was beginning to grow more personal. I didn't want it to get so far.

"You're very positive, Jimmy."I said softly.

"I have to be."He said."If I wasn't positive for me, who else would there be?"

"You make a good point."I laughed.

Jimmy flicked his cigarette into the water and took hold of my left hand. I looked over at him as he said, "I love you, Hillari."

I stifled back a quiet cry as I whispered, "I love you too, Jimmy."

"And don't worry."He squeazed my hand slightly."I have plenty of years to come."