Mature

Jimmy carried a boquet of flowers in his hand as he trailed lazily down the cemetary side walks. He had intended to visit Leana's grave for the first time in years. He was excrutiatingly tired, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. Even though the medication he was given was helping him sleep at night, he couldn't help but feel exhausted during the day as well.

It had been a few weeks since he had been put on his medication and his next doctor's appointment would result in the removal of his sling. He couldn't wait to get the itchy, hard, blue fabric off of his left arm. He was tired of dealing with it every time he had to shower to wanted to take a swim. Jimmy continued his walk down the cement walk and sighed quietly.

Even though it had been a few years since he had visited the love of his life, he couldn't help but remember exactly where she was being kept. Jimmy made the last right turn and stopped a few graves in. He starred down at the like - new tomb stone and felt a frown crawl across his lips. If he hadn't been so tired, he would have begun bawling his eyes out.

He felt ashamed, knowing her had pushed Leana away for so long. Jimmy knelt onto his knees and felt his eyes water just slightly at the sight. He read over the tomb stone, over and over again, but always got the same result; nothing. In clear, script letters read -

Leana Sullivan
Loving Wife, Daughter and Sister.

Jimmy rested the boquet of flowers along her grave, but he never rose back to his feet. He forced a hurt smile as he finally spilled, "It's been a long time, sweetheart. I'm so sorry I've neglected you for so long. Can you forgive me?"

Jimmy let his head drop slightly, knowing that he could do the damnest thing and Leana would forgive him. He cleared his throat slightly upon feeling the urge to cry worsen. Jimmy ran his fingers along the engraved granite stone and whimpered quietly. His tears began to fall down his cheeks, which at that point sent him into a stupor.

"You should see Hillari, Leana. She's gotten so big. She's twenty one now and she's getting married."He chuckled lightly, as if Leana had responded with a funny remark."I know, I can't believe it either. But never the less, I'm still proud of her. She's doing great, Leana. I just want you to know that."

Jimmy felt a tinge of guilt and pain start to fumble in the pit of his stomach. Even though he was happy that he was telling Leana all these marvelous things, he couldn't help but still wonder why she never told him she bared his child. His only child. Jimmy furrowed his eyebrows together and choked out a sob.

"Why wouldn't you tell me, Leana? Why didn't you just tell me that you were expecting?"He whimpered quietly."We could have been one big family. We could have had a life together. Why were you so scared? Please, answer me!"

Jimmy wiped at his eyes and slowly let a low chuckle errupt from his lips. He looked down at the head stone and shook his head in disbelief. He was speaking to Leana like he was going to get an answer. Even though she wasn't with him physically, he knew she could hear everything he had to say. Quietly, Jimmy said, "I'm sorry. I think I'm venting."

He shifted his weight onto his knees as he continued on.

"You would be so proud of her, Leana."He whispered sweetly."I know you would. She's such a good girl and I want you to know that."

Jimmy let his eyes fall upon his sling and he frowned slightly. He rose his left arm very little before dropping it back into his hip. His eyes met the tomb stone once more as he said, "Yeah, I found out I have an enlarged heart, sweetheart. But I guess it isn't that bad, right? Just means I have enough Jimmy love to go around."

He tried to chuckle at his funny remark, but he couldn't find the strength. Jimmy sighed quietly before slowly getting to his feet. He wiped at his tears again, but they continued to fall at a faster pace. When he began to speak again, his voice had become shakey and uneven. In a quiet whimper, he said, "Please, watch over her, Leana. She's our baby."

He stepped back off her grave and shook his head. Almost silently, he added, "She's our baby, Leana. Please watch over her and make sure she stays safe. And I guess me too, if it's not too much to ask for. I want to see Hillari get old, Leana. I want to see my first grand child. I want to be able to show them pictures of us and tell them how wonderful our family is."

Jimmy wiped the last of his tears away before whispering, "I love you Leana. I really miss you. Come visit me sometime, if I even deserve it."

He frowned slightly and added, "I will always love you, sweetheart."

Jimmy turned on his heel and began his walk out of the cemetary. He wiped furiously at his swelling eyes and held back his oncoming sobs. Leana had been gone for so long now, but he had pushed her away that entire time. It could be that he was touring, or that he had found Hillari for the first time. Jimmy stepped up to his car and gave the cemetary one last glance.

He pried open his door, but before he stepped in, he whispered, "Just do what you think is right, Leana."