Mature

Jimmy brushed his out grown hair back with his hands and sighed quietly. Things had been spiriling out of control faster than he could fix them. He leaned back in his seat and rubbed tirelessly at his swollen eyes. He winced slightly upon brushing against his disappearing bruise and growled lowly in anger. He was utterly exhausted and felt so wrong.

He couldn’t stop thinking of the other night, when he had hurt Hillari mentally and physically. He had wronged her so much that he apologized multiple times for doing that to her the next day. He wasn’t in his right state of mind then and he admitted to that. If Hillari wasn’t with him then, he would have kept driving and possibly driven off the road.

Jimmy could have died if Hillari didn’t demand those keys back. Jimmy had gotten Hillari a new plush animal as an apology, even though she swore she had forgiven him already. He didn’t see how she could though, after what he had done. Jimmy had never gotten angry with Hillari; he had no reason to. Jimmy shook his head slightly and let out a quiet sigh.

He jumped slightly when his pocket began to vibrate over and over again. It had been a few days since he had seen the guys. He was embarrassed, to say the least, about his ruthless actions the other day. It wasn’t just being mean and immature toward Hillari, but the blows it had come down to in the end.

Jimmy pulled his cell phone out and sighed quietly when Matt’s name glowed on the front screen. He silenced it before standing from his seat. Jimmy walked into his bedroom and looked into the mirror. He was slightly taken back by his features; his eyes were red, swollen and one had a diminishing bruise.

Dark bags had formed under his eyes and his hair stuck out in every direction. If his friends didn’t know him better, they would have thought he was a homeless piece of nothing, rather than a great drummer in a famous band. Jimmy rolled his left arm and smiled warmly. He forgot he could get back into his drumming sessions.

It’s been a while since he could sit at the instrument and bang away his worries. Jimmy ran his fingertips along his bruised eye and winced slightly. He knew now what Devin’s fist looked like up close. He couldn’t remember every detail of what had happened, but in came in pieces. Just thinking of what happened made his stomach turn.

He could still picture Devin storming into his house and Matt stepping in front of him. Angela had called Brian for support when Devin threw the first punch.

Jimmy felt Matt’s tight grip on his upper arm, forcing him to turn and push him away by his chest. Jimmy pointed an accusing finger in Matt’s direction and said, “If you’re just gonna come in here and push me around, then you can get the fuck out!”

“I’m not pushing you around.”Matt snarled.”I came in to talk to you about - “

“About Hillari?”Jimmy scoffed.”She’s over reacting. She’s probably on her fucking period, Matt. Just leave it alone. It’s none of your business anyway.”

Jimmy stepped forward, careful not trip over his own feet. He was beginning to grow tired of everyone’s cares and worries. He felt as if they didn’t trust him anymore. Jimmy was always going to be the same Jimmy, but when they poked and proded him this way, it made him want to come to blows.

Jimmy was growing more agitated by the second. His daughter was over reacting over a small fender bender and made Jimmy out to be the bad guy. If Matt hadn’t taken Jimmy by the arm again, he would have thrown an angry fist into the wall. He didn’t feel like patching up another one anyway.

“Jimbo, listen to me. I want to know what happened.”Matt said calmly.

“I got into a f - fender bender. Boo - fucking - hoo.”Jimmy spat.”That’s it.”

“Jimmy, I think you need to sit down for a couple of minutes. You’re looking like your ready to kill, bro.”Matt stated calmly.

No matter how calm Matt may be at this moment, Jimmy couldn’t help but let his anger build up. He thought of every time someone had asked how he was feeling or mentioned his odd behavior. Jimmy was simply living out his life like he normally would. If it weren’t for his god damned heart he would be doing very well.

Jimmy shook Matt’s hand from his shoulder and growled, “I’m fine standing, bro.”

Jimmy stepped back and gave Matt an angry glare. The sudden shouts of Angela outside caught Matt’s attention, but he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze off of Jimmy. He was afraid that if he turned the corner, than Jimmy would pull a fast one on him. Matt had a strong feeling of what was causing his sudden out bursts and odd behavior.

The front door swung open and clanked loudly against the wall, forcing the door knob to stick into the sheet rock. Jimmy rose his arms above his head and with a cruel smile, shouted, “Now the party’s getting fucking started!”

Jimmy wiped at his eyes as he pulled open his mirror cabinet. He had his doctor lower his medication immediately after the big blow out, but nothing was working for him anymore. Jimmy was completely exhausted, but he couldn’t seem to find a way to sleep. He would steal cat naps here and there, but getting a good eight hour night was useless.

He would toss and turn, cursing and muttering things under his breath. His mind seemed to race a mile a minute and he couldn’t keep calm. Jimmy had doubled up on his medication and found that he found sleep more often, but not as much as he liked. He knew that tonight he planned on sleeping well and was going to sneak in one extra Methadone tablet.

Jimmy growled lowly when the vibration of his phone scared him once more. If he didn’t answer twenty minutes ago, why would Matt be calling him again? Jimmy knew he needed to swallow his pride and talk to the guys at some point, but right now he didn’t feel it was right. He wanted to catch up on his sleep and then face his best friends.

He didn’t want to look, or feel, like a homeless, sick person. Jimmy stole his medication from the cabinet and let out a quiet sigh. His last pill vile had been thrown across the room, emptying all of it’s contents into the crevices of his couch and walls. Devin had gotten angry when Hillari had explained what happened. But then again, Jimmy couldn’t blame him.

Jimmy placed a hand to his head, fearing the oncoming headache when he started to think further on the fight.

Devin stormed forward, anger glistening in his eyes, but Matt quickly stepped in front of him. Angela and Hillari could be seen outside and peeked in through the door. Matt’s face dropped when he saw how upset Hillari had become over the whole situation. This had gotten way out of control and fast.

Angela was on the phone, with who Matt was unsure. He could see her speaking quickly, as if she wasn’t hiding her fear to the person on the other end. Matt came back to reality when Devin roughly pushed him by his chest. Matt grabbed Devin by his shirt in tight fists before pushing him up against the wall.

Jimmy was laughing loudly in the background and instigating a full on brawl. Matt couldn’t blame Devin for being angry; Jimmy had hurt the love of his life. He knew that if someone had done the same for him, it would take more than one man to calm him down and prevent him from beating that person down.

Matt looked into Devin’s eyes and calmly said, “Devin, calm down. It’s being taken care o -”

Devin took a fistful of Matt’s black t - shirt and threw him aside like nothing. Matt was simply shocked, only because Devin had never really proved his strength. Jimmy stepped forward and went chest to chest with the large man. The corners of Jimmy’s lips pulled up into a conniving and cruel smirk as he spat, “What do you got, punk?”

“Devin!”Matt stormed forward, dragging Devin back by his shoulders.

He could hear Hillari screaming from the door way, shouting for this mess to come to a stop. Angela tried her best to keep Hillari calm and tell her that screaming would not keep the two men she loved the most from fighting.

“A lot more than you motherfucker!”Devin swung a hefty fist forward, nearly catching Jimmy in the head.

Matt threw the young man back, trying to keep the peace between the two. Matt turned toward Jimmy and grabbed his shoulder tightly. Before he could muster out a calm down, Jimmy had tangled his long fingers into Matt’s shirt and pushed him back, forcing him to topple over the small coffee table.

Matt thumped against the floor and at that point all hell had broken loose. Matt was furiated that Jimmy had done something so wrong to him when all he was trying to do was help. Devin came forward quickly, throwing an angry fist into Jimmy’s face. Hillari let out a cry of fear when Jimmy fell back into his couch.

Matt quickly got up from the floor, but even though he was fumed from being pushed aside so roughly, he went for Devin. Devin had pulled Jimmy up by the collar of his shirt, angrily shouting, “You gonna put your hands on Hillari again motherfucker?!”

“’Cause I’d hurt my daughter! Fuck you, Devin! Go back home to your mom! Hillari should have nothing to do with you!”Jimmy spat.

Jimmy tried to push the young man away, but Devin had a good advantage. Devin threw another fist into Jimmy’s face, forcing him to roll his head to the side. Jimmy started to laugh cruelly before wrapping his right arm around Devin’s neck. He began to throw fists into Devin’s face as they wrestled along the couch.

“Brian’s here!”Angela’s words fell silent as Matt reached out for Devin.

“Some father you are!”Devin shouted.

Matt pushed his arms under Devin’s and locked his hands behind his head. He pulled Devin away from Jimmy, who spit a small amount of blood of his carpet. Devin tried to jerk forward, but Matt walked him further away from Jimmy. Brian came thrusting through the front door, just in time to stop Jimmy from continuing on.

“I’m a good fucking father!”Jimmy jumped forward, right into Brian’s grasp.

“Hey!”He shouted loudly.”Stop fucking fighting! What’s going -”

Jimmy tried to push Brian aside as Devin continued with, “You don’t ever do anything to your kid! Especially your fucking daughter!”

“Don’t tell me what kind of father to be!”Jimmy growled.

“Fuck you, Jimmy! Fuck you!”Devin looked up at Matt, showing him he was done with throwing punches.

Reluctantly, Matt let go of Devin and he shook the tension from his shoulders. Devin quickly embraced Hillari, who began to cry into his t - shirt. Matt pulled Angela into a tight hug as well and he whispered, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s okay.”She breathed softly.”I’m happy it’s done.”

Jimmy began to chuckled lowly before wiping the blood from his split lip. He pushed away from Brian and pointed a finger in Devin’s direction. Cooly, he said, “If you’re marrying my daughter, then I want nothing to do with you two.”

“J - Jim,”Hillari whispered softly.

“I’m done.”Jimmy spat.

Devin pulled away from Hillari and eyed the small pill vile on the coffee table Matt had tripped over only moments ago. Devin reached forward, taking the medication in hand and twisted the cap off. He shook the bottle in Jimmy’s face and said what everyone had been wanting to tell him all along; “You don’t think it’s your medication fucking with your head?! Well, we do! Stop taking this medication and come back to reality you fuck!”

Devin angrily tossed the bottle across the room, causing all the pills to spill and roll across the wooden floors. Devin gently, even through his massive rage, took Hillari by the arm and said, “We’re leaving.”

Jimmy whimpered quietly as he dropped three pills into his hand. He was going to gain back the sleep he lost and gather everyone together. He was going to apologize and get himself off of his medication as soon as possible. He would refuse to take anything unless it was directly for his heart.

After this, Jimmy would refuse to take sleeping, pain or any other medication unless it’s to help direct his heart in the right direction. Jimmy never meant to scream out those disgusting words and the people he loved the most. He apologized to them all, but it wasn’t enough. He had to set things straight.

Jimmy downed the pills in his hand before making his way toward his bedroom. As he lied down in his bed, the only picture he could see was the last of that night. Matt had turned toward him and the look on his face said it all. It was as if his eyes had snapped Jimmy back to reality. He knew he had messed up.

Jimmy was slightly excited, knowing that this dose of medication would be his last. He was going to turn himself around and be the old Jimmy. The happy go lucky, care free Jimmy. He felt a smile crawl onto his lips as his eyes began to get heavy. He was actually going to sleep tonight and nothing would stop it.

He heard his phone going off once more, but even the annoying vibrations didn’t stop him from falling asleep. It was those words that seemed to set Jimmy straight in the end. The few words that pulled him back and made him realize all the bad he had done. That’s your daughter you faught to get to know. Now you’re going to have to fight to be forgiven. Good going, dad.

Jimmy rolled over in bed and sighed quietly. Just a few more hours and he would be able to pull everyone together. To tell them how much he appreciates them and how much he loves them. That he would do anything to help them, even if it meant putting his life on the line. He frowned slightly as his sentence formed in a slur; “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”