Mature

I jolted awake, breathing heavy and scared. I sat up in my bed and quickly pressed my hands to the sides of my head. I closed my eyes tightly as I watched my sight begin to spin. I groaned quietly and heard a gasp come from the other side of the room. Hands met the mattress I was on as a tiny voice whispered, “Are you okay? She’s awake!”

The door to my room opened, but I quickly waved the people away. I slowly opened my eyes and found Devin and my mom at my side. I moved the hair from my eyes and asked, “What happened, mom?”

I winced when I folded my arm and felt the tip of my IV dig deeper into my arm. I straightened out my arm and ran my fingers along it. I looked up at Devin and my mom and whimpered quietly. My mom told me that my father was on his way from work right now. Devin cupped my face in his hands and whispered, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”I threw the blanket from my legs and looked around the room.”Where’s Jimmy?”

“Jimmy is in his room, Hillari.”My mom placed her hands on my knees when I threw my legs over the bed.”You can’t get up yet, Hillari. We don’t know how you are yet.”

“I’m perfectly fine, mom.”I choked.

“Hillari, don’t do it.”Devin pushed me back onto my bed, which made me well up in tears once more.

“I just want to see Jimmy.”I whispered quietly.

“We know, sweetheart.”My mom pulled me into a hug and allowed me to rid my tears on her shirt.

Her voice was nasally and cracked, like she had been crying for a few hours. I lightly dug my finger tips into her shoulder blades and cried quietly into her chest. The door to my room opened and I pulled away from her. The doctor, who was an elder woman, walked in, a comforting smile pressed tightly against her lips.

“Hello, sweetheart. My name is Dr. Sandra. I’m going to check your status and ask you a few questions. Is that alright?”She asked softly.

I nodded my head and let her do what she had to do. I answered her few questions and she gave me one last smile. She pulled the IV from my arm and threw out what she didn’t need any longer. I looked up and asked, “Can I see Jimmy, now?”

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to wait about an hour, Hillari.”She said softly.

“No, no! I can’t wait an hour!”I argued.”I don’t know how much time I -”

I chewed on my bottom lip and felt my eyes tear up once again. I wiped at them angrily and finished with, “I have to see him, Doctor.”

“This is for your own safety, Hillari.”She whispered.”I’m sorry.”

“You know what,”I threw my legs over the bed once more and stood from it.

“Hillari, what are you -”Devin grabbed hold of my arm and shoved me back onto the mattress.”Just do what she says!”

I shook my arm from his grasp and sighed angrily. I knew if I wanted to get anywhere, I would have to just do what Devin said and follow the doctor’s orders. I sat back on my bed and crossed my arms over my chest. All I wanted was to see Jimmy and I could care less how bad off I might seem to be.

The news was too much for me to take. I couldn’t help the fact that my legs had given out on me. The doctor left my room and a few moments later, a knock came at my door. We all turned to look and found Angela coming in. She offered me a warm smile to help me, but I could still see the fear in her eyes.

She held out a large cup and said, “Here. I got you some coffee to help wake you up a bit.”

“Thankyou, Angela.”I sipped at the steaming cup and set it in my lap.

Angela said her hello’s to my mom and Devin before sitting down at the edge of my bed.

“How do you feel?”She asked sweetly.

“I’m okay.”I said.”I have to wait an hour until I can see Jimmy. How is he?”

I looked up at her, hoping she would only give me good news. She shook her head slightly and said, “The same he has been. He has yet to wake up.”

I nodded my head slowly, understanding that Jimmy was most likely going to be sleeping for a while longer. I sipped again at my coffee cup and said, “Shouldn’t you be in Jimmy’s room?”

“It was too much for me, honestly.”She said quietly.”And besides, I had to see how my rocker girl was doing.”

Angela gently pushed her glasses up her nose before settling her hands in her lap. I looked up at the clock and found that I still had about forty five minutes until I could leave my room. I got up from my bed, after assuring I was only going to change, and did just that. It only killed about ten minutes.

I took the time to brush my hair back and wipe away my smeared make - up before coming back out. I spoke with Angela, my mom and Devin until I had just a few minutes left. Another knock came at my door before my dad walked in. He instantly made me tear up, but I held back what I could.

We informed him on what had happened and he could only nod slightly. He was upset as well, but he wouldn’t show it. At least not yet. My doctor came back into the room a few minutes late, but after the little tests she did, I was free to go. My mom, Devin, Angela and my father walked me back into the waiting room.

Everyone was now here and waiting patiently for Jimmy to come too. Zacky and Johnny were now visiting Jimmy, while Brian and Matt sat in the waiting room. I walked in and their faces seemed to lighten up slightly. They shouldn’t have to worry about me; they should be worrying about their best friend in the other room.

“How are you feeling, Hillari?”Brian asked softly.

“I’m fine, Brian.”I forced a weak smile.

“If Brian didn’t catch you, you would have suffered a little bit of a bump on the head.”Angela tried to lighten the mood.

“Thanks, Brian.”I said sweetly.

“Next time you’re going to pass out though, you might want to warn me. I just got you before you met the ground.”He chuckled lightly.

I could hear how hallow his laughter was, even though he tried to make it genuine. I looked at Matt and asked, “I want to go see him, Matt.”

“Alright, Hillari.”I looked at everyone else and sighed quietly.

“I want to go in with Matt, if that’s okay.”I said softly.

“Whatever you want, Hillari.”My dad smiled.

“I’ll be right back.”I walked with Matt toward Jimmy’s room, where we eventually met with Zacky and Johnny.

“Hey, sleeping beauty.”Zacky’s eyes were swollen from crying, as well as Johnny’s.

“Hi, guys.”I gave them each a warm hug and faught the urge to get upset as best as I could.

“It’s okay, Hillari.”Zacky said sweetly.”It’s -”

I cupped a hand over my mouth, signaling to the guys I was getting upset. I tried to bite back my sobs and hold in my tears, but at this point in time, I was unable to. I didn’t want anymore hugs, but Zacky wasn’t a mind reader. I only wanted to go in and see Jimmy. I wanted him to jump up and tell me how it was all a joke.

When I pulled away from Zacky, I reached out for Jimmy’s room handle. Zacky and Johnny walked back toward the waiting room. Before I could grasp the handle, however, Matt tugged lightly at my elbow. I turned and found his eyes as he whispered, “Just don’t panic, Hillari.”

I had to stay calm, even if I wanted to break down and get hysterical. I let my hand drop to my side and whispered, “You go in first, Matt.”

“Alright, sweetheart.”He pushed open the door and stepped in, frowning when he saw his incoherent friend.

I followed after him and held back a loud yelp of sorrow. I walked up to Jimmy, ignoring the multiples wires and Ivs clung to his body. I slowly reached out and grabbed hold of his hand. It wasn’t warm like it normally was, but cold and stiff. I looked up, watching as Jimmy’s chest rose and fell slowly.

In a quiet whimper, I said, “Jimmy, you have to wake up. Promise me you’ll wake up!”

Matt leaned against the wall, watching as I went on with my small rant. I squeezed his hand tightly and said, “Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, Jimmy. Please.”

I received nothing in response and let out a quiet sob.

“You have to see me get married, Jimmy. You have to see my first kid. You have a lot left to do here, Jimmy!”I let my head drop onto his hand and cried quietly.”Please, just wake up.”