Lights on the Lake

“Do you think she’s going to be okay?”

Alana swayed back and forth on a tire swing in Weezer’s front yard. Abigail was silently and absentmindedly pushing the swing behind her, her dark skin shining against the sun.

“I don’t know,” Weezer replied quietly and solemnly. “She won’t return any of my phone calls.”

“Mine either,” Abigail finally said. “I feel so bad, I’ve been spending all of this time with Jason and I haven’t been around for her lately. Imagine how lonely she must feel. How exactly did it happen again?”

Weezer scoffed, using his strong arms to pick up a large rock only to drop it back down again. “I’m not going to replay Mac’s dad’s gay escapades anymore, thank you. I’m still trying to burn the image of that random man out of my head.”

“Do any of you know who he is?” Alana asked. “The man?” The two of them shrugged back at her in response.

“He’s my dad’s business partner.”

Alana, Weezer and Abigail all flipped their heads around to see Mackenzie standing behind them, her hands stuffed in her jean short pockets, her hair pulled back into a tight pony tail. Walking up behind her was Leo, his car keys dangling in his hands with a cool expression on his face, just like it always was.

Alana heard Weezer intake a sharp breath as he looked back at Mackenzie, who wasn’t exactly looking at any of them, moreso behind them.

“Mackenzie,” Weezer breathed.

“Look guys, I’m fine, no need to freak out,” Mackenzie urged. Leo walked forward to join the four who stared back at her. “My dad finally got ahold of me. He surprised me at the grocery store and cornered me in the frozen food aisle – always classy, that one. He begged me not to tell, told me that it would tear our family apart, blah blah.”

Mackenzie waved her hand in the air in a carefree gesture and Alana couldn’t help but remember doing that kind of gesture when her and Julie were deciding between what toppings they wanted on their pizza…

“And you’re okay with that?” Alana asked. Mackenzie raised one of her brows and then stared up at the sky. The beautiful sunset casted an orange glow amongst all of them and Mackenzie squinted one of her eyes as she seemed to stare directly at the sun.

“Well, it looks like I’m going to have to be now doesn’t it?” She replied and took a step forward to push Alana on the swing. Weezer stepped out of the way from almost getting hit and there was an awkward silence between all of them.

“No… it doesn’t,” Leo finally spoke.

“Leo!” Abigail squeaked.

“What?” Leo asked. “Look, from my perspective, Mac’s dad is being completely selfish by forcing her to keep this big of a secret from her whole family. Now every single time she sees her dad with her mom, she’s going to know, and it’s going to eat her alive. And no offense, Mackie, but it’s completely ridiculous of your dad to force you to do this.”

“We can always trust Leo to be the brutally honest one,” Weezer said through his teeth and Leo just shrugged his shoulders carelessly.

“Wasn’t it just you that was all buddy buddy with Mr. Platt at the party, Leo?” Alana asked. “Now you’re basically calling him a coward.”

“Look, Mr. Platt is a nice man – a very confused, hiding in the closet, in a lie of a marraige for 25 years kind of man, but nice nonetheless. I’ve known him my whole life. But I’ve also known you for half of my life, Alana, and do you think I’m going to ignore all of the shitty decisions you’ve made? Because, hate to break it to ya, you’ve made a lot.”

Alana shot Leo a very dirty look and all he did was grin back at her. She turned her head away from him, as he grabbed some sunglasses and put them on to block the sun.

“Well, before we get thrown into more Leo and Alana drama,” Weezer said with a tint of irritation in his voice. He turned to Mackenzie who still wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye. “Look, Leo has a point, what your dad is making you do is completely terrible and it’s your decision, Mac.”

Mackenzie was silent for a moment, her lips in a very thin line before she curled them upward and, surprisingly, laughed. “Guys, lighten up! This subject is getting talked about way too much, let’s change the station. Is anyone up for some careless drinking and shameless dancing to music we’d never normally listen to at the beach on the lake tonight?”

Everyone stayed quiet and Mackenzie rolled her eyes and tried to smile again. She leaned forward and pushed Alana on the swing again, but this time harder than last time. Alana jolted forward and grabbed onto the rope to keep steady.

“Come on guys, stop it,” Mackenzie said. “Let’s go have some fun.”

Mackenzie’s eyes pleaded with her concerned friends before Alana finally got out of the tire swing she almost just got killed on and put her arm around Mackenzie’s shoulders.

“Whatever you want to do,” She said encouragingly.

“Yeah,” Mackenzie muttered under her breath. “Whatever I want to do.”



The air was thick outside with a leftover heat from the afternoon and there was loud music blasting from the speakers of Weezer's father's boat. Mackenzie and Weezer were driving around on the lake, doing fast turns and Alana could hear her laughing from across the lake. The music would fade in and out and Alana leaned back and closed her eyes, her body sinking in the sand.

This is what they'd always used to do - go to the lake at night and do random obnoxious things. Alana would usually be the ringleader, going skinny dipping or upsetting the people that lived around the lake by yelling profanities. Now here she was, older, lying down on the warm sand, fully clothed and fully boring. When had she gotten like this? She didn't know. All she knew was that for doing something so careless and unpredictable as running away from her hometown and leaving everything behind, you'd think she'd come back with thousands of stories to tell about her wild life in New York. But instead, she was a photographer and a children's portrait studio, lived in a dungy apartment and had a boyfriend who was everything any girl could have wanted.

Alana glanced down at her phone that rested by her side. She hadn't talked to Trey in almost a week. It was hard for them to find a good time to talk to one another when he was off doing who knows what in Germany. Part of her wished she would have just gotten over whatever was holding her back and went with him.

Alana closed her eyes again and she felt a movement to the left of her. She felt someone lay down next to her and immediately smelled Leo. His smell was unique, and she couldn't quite put her finger on the exactity of it, but she always knew it.

"Mac looks like she's having fun, or is doing a brilliant show of faking it," Leo said. She felt his shoulder touching hers, and remembered the night when they were fourteen, laying down on the beach, looking up at the sky, where Leo told her that Kelly Paltron was prettier. Why couldn't that memory just escape from her damn mind? Seriously, she was almost 21 now, she needed to get over it.

"I'm almost 21," Alana said, her thoughts spewing out from her mouth. She finally opened her eyes and looked over at Leo, who was staring up at the sky with is hazel eyes. She stared at his profile for a second, his messy hair was pushed back with a grey beanie, shaping his face well. His face held such good proportions, his eyes were perfectly apart from one another, his nose strong but greatly shaped, his lips almost girl-like. But his strong chin made up for them. He was wearing another one of his plaid button up shirts that he rolled up at the sleeves, with dark jeans and was completely barefoot. His coolness was effortless, which made Alana slightly angry because from however far back she could remember, she was always the one trying so hard to be cool, trying to be crazy, to be unpredictable. Leo just did it by standing there.

"You are," Leo said. "July 19th."

Leo finally looked over at Alana, and mimicked the surprised reaction on her face, causing her to smile.

"Oh come on, I've known you for almost eleven years, of course I'd know your birthday."

"Well, yeah, but I never threw parties on my birthday after middle school and never even really mentioned it much," Alana replied.

Leo raised his eyebrows and turned his body towards her to face her. She continued to lay on her back.

"Yeah, why didn't you ever have parties for your birthday? I remember going to a few in middle school, like the one at the skating rink in Hemersville, that was fun from what I can remember. I think that was the last party you ever had."

Alana's jaw clenched, thinking about that day. It was the day she was turned 13. The day she was finally going to become a teenager. She had worn plenty of make up and her dad made her wipe most of it off, but she sneaked some more on right before. She couldn't help but feel excited as they headed over to the rink, where all of her friends said they were coming. Blown up balloons were in the back of the car and Alana was basically bouncing up and down, her auburn red hair that was pulled back into a pony tail bounced right along with her, her cake she personally had created with her dad sat in a box in her lap. It was going to be the best day, ever.

But... later on that night, she found herself crying in her bed, any ounce of make up she poorly put on was now on her pillow.

"Alana, you never answered me," Leo said. She could feel his breath on her cheek and she immediately snapped out of her memory.

"I don't know, I just didn't feel like having any more parties, I guess," Alana said quietly and sat up immediately. Leo sat up himself to meet her but she stood up and started to walk away, her feet digging into the sand, making her look ridiculous trying to make a fast exit.

"Woah, woah Lan, what's wrong?" Leo said, walking after her.

"Nothing's wrong, everything's totally fine," Alana said back over her shoulder. Leo grabbed her arm, causing her to turn around and lose her balance in the sand. Without a beat, he grabbed onto her elbows to keep steady and looked at her like she was insane.

"What did I do this time? I was really trying to be nice to you, I know we haven't always agreed with things, but I just thought..."

"It's fine, Leo, trust me, I just - "

"Leo!" Came a shout from the distance. Both Alana and Leo looked over to see Kelly walking toward them. Her long blonde hair fell in complete straightness around her shoulders and she bent her arm in a very valley girl type position to hold her purse. Her expensive leather jacket reflected against the moonlight and Alana couldn't help but think that she looked like a perfect little mermaid.

"Your girlfriend's here," Alana said icily.

Suddenly, Alana's phone rang, and she immediately looked down and saw it read: Trey<3

"And so is your boyfriend," Leo replied. "This couldn't be more filled with irony. I feel like I'm in a movie."

Alana tried to smile at his joke to lighten the mood, but they both knew the mood was entirely shot as Kelly tried to make her way to them in the thick sand.

"LEO!" She yelled even louder, almost desperately asking him to come over to her instead of having her embarrass herself by walking any more. Leo sighed and gave Alana one last look before heading over towards her.

Alana immediately turned her back on them and flipped her phone open. The loud music over the phone seemed to overpower the music blasting from Weezer's boat soaring on the lake.

"Alana?!" She heard Trey's voice on the other line and she immediately closed her eyes, pretending he was standing right in front of her. Smart, tall, gorgeous, safe Trey.

"Trey, hi!" Alana said enthusiastically. There was static on the other line and Trey's voice cut out. "You cut out, I didn't get what you said!" Alana basically yelled into the phone.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm at this party, thing, I don't even know what to call it," Trey replied. Alana glanced at her watch, it was 10:31 PM.

"You're at a party at 5:30 in the morning?" Alana asked.

"Trey, erhalten das Telefon aus und tanz mit mir!" Alana heard a girl say in the background on Trey's line. Damnit, if she only knew German! "Halt dich!," Trey yelled back at her over the music. "Alana I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. I just wanted to hear your voice so badly. This is probably costing me a million dollars."

"You have to go?" Alana asked.

"I'm sorry," Trey began, but Alana heard the girl calling Trey over again. "Sorry, I love you."

"Yeah..." Alana said back and before she could say anthing else, Trey hung up the phone. She angrily snapped her phone shut and breathed in a shaky breath. Cool, awesome, he's probably out dancing with hot blonde German girls who beckon him over while she was sitting alone on a beach watching Weezer and Mackenzie laugh while driving his boat, Abigail and her boyfriend Jason probably making out somewhere, and Leo with...

Alana looked back over at Leo who was now walking towards her with no Kelly in sight. He his hands were dangling limply by his sides.

"Aw, where's Kelly? Love that girl!" Alana asked sarcastically and stuffed her phone in her pocket.

"She wanted me to go out with her but I told her I'm staying here for Mackenzie," Leo replied stiffly. "Didn't exactly go well."

"I can't believe you're dating her... I just.. God, Leo you're so stupid," Alana said and ker-plopped down onto the sand. Leo sat next her, his knees pulled up and his arms resting on them. He didn't say anything in response. "You only like her because she's beautiful and she was the only girl that didn't do absolutely everything in the world to make sure you were comfortable and in control in a relationship."

"Well, golly gee, Lan, you've just got me all figured out don't you!?" Leo countered back.

"Apparently not enough," Alana spat. "Do you purposely just go out and try to hurt me? You know what she did to me."

"Are we going to have this conversation again?" Leo asked. "For the millionth time, we got back together before you even got back. How was I supposed to know you'd come marching back here interrupting everything."

"Oh, good to know I'm just an interruption," Alana retorted and stood up.

"You know that's not what I meant," Leo said, standing up with her. "Damnit, Alana where are you going now? Why do you always have to walk - no run away from everything?"

"I'm going to wave down Weezer's boat, grab some pure fucking vodka and get drunk and try to forget that I hate boys, men, and anything with a penis," Alana replied and walked straight to the dock. Leo didn't follow her as she waved her arms towards Weezer's boat which was now just moving slowly back and forth on the lake. Weezer saw her and drove toward the dock and expertedly stopped the boat right next to Alana. Mackenzie was grinning from ear to ear as Weezer was telling her some type of joke.

"Everything okay?" Weezer said through tangled laughter. Alana couldn't help but feel happy that Weezer was getting Mackenzie's mind off of everything, but her anger from both Trey and Leo still lingered in the pit of her stomach.

"Peachy, do you have any alcohol?" Alana asked bluntly and Weezer laughed.

"Missy, you're underaged!" Weezer replied. Alana shot him a mocking dirty look before taking a small jump into the boat, looking around for a second and seeing a half empty bottle of Bacardi. She immediately grabbed it. "Hey, that's mine!" Weezer exclaimed.

"Do you want to get a DUI?" Alana replied, gesturing at the boat. "Have fun, you two," She added, staring at Weezer who immediately went red. Mackenzie was fiddling with some of the rope on the boat and didn't even notice.

The boat started up again and started to go around the lake as Alana walked deliberately back down the dock, opening up the bottle and throwing her head back, letting a large amount of alcohol down her throat. It burned and she immediately winced. Alana was never much of a drinker when it came to going out and having fun and partying. She was one of those cliché drinkers that only drank when something was wrong. It never qutie numbed whatever pain she was feeling completely, but it sure made her feel something.

Alana sat down on the side of the dock and kept drinking until she felt she couldn't anymore. The almost empty bottle laid next to her and she immediately felt dizzy, and numb, and perfect. Who cared if Trey was across the world galavanting with hot German chicks and some party that lasted into the wee hours of the morning? Who cares if Leo is dating the girl that Alana hated more than anyone? Who cares if her father died? Who cares if everyone in the town basically hates her?

Who... who cares?

"Nice," Leo said as he stared at Alana who was still sitting alone, the bottle almost empty next to her. "Trying to get some attention, I see? Nothing new."

"Please, that's your job," Alana said and tried to get up but immediately stumbled. Leo caught her again for the second time tonight.

"Must you always get drunk whenever someone makes you remotely upset?" Leo asked. "You're so predictable. Come on."

Leo grabbed her arm once again and Alana pulled away, once again. But this time another thing happened in slow motion, Alana waved her arms in the air like some loser, losing her balance and flailing while Leo tried to grab ahold of her. She immediately fell backwards and into the cold water of the lake. The coldness burst through her body and sobered her up a little, but not enough for her to not drunk panic. She started flailing around in the water, her clothes feeling heavy and feeling like they were sinking her down. She heard a crash in the water and then felt Leo's arms wrap around her and pull her back to the shore. By then, she was laughing.

"That felt good!" Alana said, her body shaking with laughter. Leo shot her an extremely dirty look.

"Are you serious?" He asked angrily.

"What?!" Alana said, laughing even harder, her hair dripping all over her face.

"You're such a little mess," Leo said, amusement somewhat evident in his voice now. Alana laughed again but then shivered once she realized just how cold she was.

"Come on, let's get you home," Leo said and Alana finally let him grab onto her arm. She placed it around his shoulders and he hesitantly put one of his arms around her waist to help her walk. She stumbled a few times in the sand but continued to feel amused by everything that was going on.

"Did you know that you're the reason I didn't throw any more parties?" She asked as they started getting closer to Leo's car.

"What?" Leo asked in full surprise, still trying to get Alana from not falling on her face.

"Yep!" She said. "At the skating rink, you made fun of me wearing make up and then told everyone you thought my cake looked like a giant boob. Everyone laughed at me." Alana giggled for no reason and Leo stopped dead in his tracks, causing her to almost fall backward.

"I don't remember that," He said, his voice soft.

"I sure do!" Alana said and did a weird motion with her hand. "I cried that whole night. Little thirteen year old me." Her words were slurring now and she couldn't even comprehend how drunk she was. "Did you know that my great grandma helped build town hall? Only woman to help do it! Crazy!"

"Okay, let's get you in my car," Leo said and placed her in the passenger seat carefully. He leaned over her to put the seatbelt over her and she reached forward and grabbed the side of his face with one of her hands.

"You have better skin than me, boys aren't supposed to have better skin," She said quietly. Leo turned his head to look at her and there was a small silence between them before he cleared his throat and leaned back to close the door. He walked around the car and got in on the other side and immediately turned on the car and pulled backward with ease. For some reason, this motion made Alana sick to her stomach and she put her hand over her mouth, pleading herself not to puke.

"Am I taking you to your aunt's or your old house?" Leo asked, sterness held in his voice, like he was keeping his jaw very tight.

"Neither! My dad's old house is empty and I can't show up to Ker's like this... Leo, she has... she has children."

Leo shook his head and turned his blinker on to turn left onto a main road. "Fine, I guess you're coming home with me."

"The Cronin household! I haven't been there in a long time," Alana said very loudly.

"Yeah, you haven't," Leo replied and soon enough they were pulling into his driveway. He took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car to open Alana's door. She took of her seatbelt and stumbled out of the car as Leo tried to hold her up.

"I can do it!" She said defiantly, but when she actually tried to walk she felt like her feet couldn't stay planted on the ground.

"Obviously not," Leo said and put his arm around her waist again. He led her inside where the whole house was dark. "Parents are probably sleeping, don't scream or anything."

Leo started to lead Alana to his old room, but she knew exactly where it was. Leo always thought it was so cool to have a room downstairs while his parents had one upstairs along with a guest bedroom. He called it his man cave ever since his parents finally thought he was old enough to move into it, in the ninth grade. Now he's in college, and he probably walks into the room that isn't his anymore and just sees memories.

He opened the door and didn't bother turning on the light. The whole room smelled of him as Alana stumbled forward and automatically laid down on his oddly neat and tidy bed.

"You have throw pillows, really?" She said, holding up a small pillow that matched his comforter.

"My mom got it for me..." Leo said somewhat defensively and Alana giggled and lay back.

"Comfy," Alana mumbled to herself to no one in particular. Leo stood over the bed, looking down at her, with an unreadable expression on his face. He then walked over to his closet and grabbed some pajama pants and a large T-shirt and tossed it over to her.

"You're making my bed wet," He said and Alana looked down and noticed that she was and laughed.

"Oops!" She said and grabbed the clothes he gave her. "Turn around!"

Leo immediately turned his back as Alana got off of the bed and clumsily slipped out of her wet clothes and pulled on his dry clothes which felt warm against her skin.

"Okay," Alana said, her now damp hair was somewhat sticking to her face. Leo turned around and Alana stumbled forward. He quickly caught her.

"Just get into the bed," He said and she nodded. He pulled open the covers and she got in and he leaned down to pull them back over her. His arm rested over her for a second and she stared back up at him. He looked down at her with an expression on his face that she just couldn't read. It almost looked like regret.. like pain.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly.

"For what?" She said back.

"For always seeming to hurt you," He said, his eyes bearing into hers. There was another silence and Alana felt almost dizzy, like this moment was happening yet it wasn't at all.

"You're beautiful," She finally mumbled stupidly. She couldn't even comprehend what she was saying, but Leo laughed instead, his face inches from her.

"I hope you remember saying that," He said, still laughing.

Surprising both of them, she suddenly leaned forward, causing their lips to be centimeters apart. She felt his breath grazing upon hers.

"What are you doing." Leo asked, but moreso in a statement. She didn't even know what she was doing, but she placed her hand on his face again. Leo leaned forward slightly, and his lips hovered over hers. Both of their lips touched slightly for a quick electrifying second, but he immediately pulled away.

"Leo," Alana said quietly.

"What?" Leo asked back, frustration in his voice.

"Leo," She said again, but before she could say anything else, her eyes widened. Leo knew exactly what to do and quickly grabbed a small trash can. Whatever moment they had was completely over as she leaned over and threw up.