Take Me Back to Your Bed

“Noah, will you hurry up? You take forever to get ready for a party that we’re only staying at for an hour.” Ryder sat on his girlfriend’s bed and watched her pick up random dresses from her closet. She couldn’t chose between a plain black spaghetti strapped dress or a floral halter cut dress. Her hair was down in loose curls covering her undercut and her make-up was just simple eyeliner and red lipstick. After Ryder stated his rude comment she chose the black dress and slipped it on. She slipped on a pair of red pumps and looked over to Ryder.

“I’m ready,” she smiled as he did. He got off the bed, kissed her lips softly and took her hand. “So why are we only staying an hour?” Noah asked as they walked through the Campbell house and past Devin in the living room giving his sister a weird look.

“Because some band is playing after an hour and I don’t want to be there.” Noah knew exactly which band Ryder is referring to. It is Garrett’s band with Roxie’s boyfriend and that John O’Callaghan. Noah felt her face drop but she didn’t dare argue with Ryder. The two got into Ryder’s car, Ryder didn’t open the door for Noah and she just sighed. Some hip-hop centric CD played on Ryder’s stereo and Noah didn’t change it, no matter how distasteful the song was to her. She respected Ryder.

They got to the party in the next township over and it was already packed with kids from different schools in the area. Arizona kids just wanted to party and so they did. Ryder kept an arm around his girlfriend’s waist as he showed her off to the boys. He would take her over to his football buddies and she’s stand there being unheard just like the other guy’s girlfriends. The other girlfriends all had blond hair and chewed their gum loudly. They wore tighter and shorter dresses than Noah did. Obviously they were just a good lay to the football boys. When the girls did talk, Noah noticed, that they didn’t have much to say because they obviously didn’t think much.

The whole time Ryder spent talking to his friends he made Noah get him drinks but made sure she didn’t drink. Noah hated being surrounded by the smell of alcohol and weed and couldn’t even touch either. She regretted the change for Ryder to cut herself off from partying. It is her favorite past time and now she has to give it up. She saw Roxie and Jared talking and getting drinks when she went to go get Ryder his third beer. She waved to them, offering a small smile as she filled Ryder’s red cup with beer from the keg.

Roxie gave her best friend a sad smile, knowing her and Garrett’s secret kind of made her nervous around Noah. Jared didn’t know what to do because he knows that Garrett likes Noah a lot and apparently they had a fight earlier today. He was torn. But the couple waved to Noah and waited for her to leave before speaking again. “That was awkward,” Jared commented.

“Oh hush. That’s Ryder-Noah, the Noah I know would be drunker than John Oh and higher than I am.” Roxie giggled and Jared shook his head, kissing his stoned-out-of-her-mind girlfriend’s temple. They talked about how Noah really was a partier and she’s probably itching to join the festivities instead of acting like arm candy all night.

The hour was slowly ending and Ryder didn’t seem like he was moving. Noah hoped she’d be able to see Garrett play. They may have fought today and he may have told her he loved her, which scared Noah, but she still wanted to be there for him. But when Ryder realized the band was about to play he took Noah by the wrist and they left the house. Noah felt truly defeated.

“Do you want to go back to my house? Mom’s out and Dad’s on a trip. You can cook me some food and I’ll play some video games.” Noah just nodded, feeling like she couldn’t say no and Ryder drove to his house. He told Noah what to make him and he stumbled to his room. She heard the loud system start up and she began making him grilled cheese and French fries. She took an apple from the refrigerator and ate it quietly as she waited for the oil to head up for the fries.

Noah thought about the last two days and how horrible they were. She loved Ryder to bits, even if he barely showed it, she knew he loved her too. But Garrett’s words from earlier rang through her ears and her heart had burned the rest of the day. She felt like she did something horribly wrong and her heart was taking it out on her. Noah did do something terribly wrong. She played with a boy’s heart and stabbed another in the back. What she didn’t know was she was starting to cut herself off from her friends. As she cooked for a boyfriend, who barely cared that she made him food, the party was slowly becoming the worst thing to ever happen to Garrett.

He showed up late and instantly went to the alcohol. He downed two shots of whiskey, claiming nerves were getting to him before he filled a red cup with beer. Roxie tried to calm him down by offering him a hit of a blunt she had Devin roll for her. He declined. Devin Campbell decided to ask Garrett what happened at his house earlier that day when Roxie walked away.

“So what happened this morning?” Devin worried about his sister but he worried about his friend too. He knew of their secret sex and the way they cared for each other. He saw things that the two kids didn’t see themselves.

“I-It was nothing, Devin, we just had a fight. It is gonna be a while until I can admit I’m sorry though.” Garrett admitted the last part with Devin in full truth. It will take him a while to get over how heartbroken he is. He feels like his heart was carved out of his chest and kept locked up by Noah’s bedside. Devin didn’t seem to be convinced by Garrett but he let him go. It was time for Garrett to play anyway.

The first gig as a full band was a disaster. It wasn’t a huge gig, just a party where so many people were and less people even paid attention to the band playing crappy cover songs. Garrett felt off in his timing and that only resulted in looks from each of his band members. Garrett was just thankful when the band finished he packed up his bass and left the party. He drove around aimlessly. Somehow still buzzed from his drinks, he just subconsciously found himself at a park he and Noah went frequently. He stayed in his car, parked next to a curb with Ryan Adams playing softly from his stereo.

He could cry from the pain he felt but he didn’t. He could curse Noah out with the anger he harbored but he didn’t. He just sat in his car staring at the dark playground at the top of the hill. He remembered having his first taste of a cigarette from Noah at the top of the monkey bars. He coughed and coughed then said he’ll never smoke again. His throat burned with the memory. Every thought he had related back to the girl who contains his heart. He didn’t mind her being under his skin. He’d let the bad parts in as long as he had Noah. He didn’t care about Noah’s mood swings or her inability to calm down. He didn’t care that she smoked and sometimes tasted like an ashtray. He loved her taste. He loved the smell of her skin, vanilla with a hint of smoke.

Garrett loved Noah and Noah loved Garrett. Only she denies it and claims her love with Ryder.

Noah knew how fucked up she was for loving Ryder. She knew how much she wronged her best friend. She could only think about him as she moved around the frying French fries. She could taste his minty lips on hers and the way her skin would crawl with his touch. She loved Garrett in such a physical way it hurt her head. The pain of not being able to touch Garrett hurt her. She fucked up so bad. She had a little feeling that she’ll never get anything right with Garrett. She just couldn’t shake that feeling.

She couldn’t even shake it when she gave Ryder his food. She couldn’t shake it when he kissed her. Garrett was all she thought about as she watched her boyfriend kill a few zombies. Zombies reminded her of Garrett. Anything reminded her of Garrett. She wondered how the show went at the party. She hoped it was fine and he was having fun. But a small part of her felt him thinking about her too. Just as sad. Just as confused. And just as pained about the whole thing as she is. Noah knew it would be a while before he would accept that she’s with Ryder. So she knew it will be a while until she has her Garrett back. It won’t be the same; she knew nothing will be the same between her and Garrett ever again.