Savior

I wanted Gerard. I needed him. Now more than ever. I saw his name sculpted into the marble in gold lettering. I saw his date of birth, and the day he left. And I saw a picture of him.
It was taken on Halloween, I recognized it. It was when we were all sitting around the table, waiting to eat the cake. It was just before Gerard told Donna about us. He looked so happy, so thoroughly content with life. His black hair was shinning, his eyes were lit up and his mouth was stretched in the wide smile I loved so much.
It was taken such a short time ago, and everything had changed so much.
I saw his name, the dates, his picture. But I saw something else, too.
I saw two lines carved into the stone, just above the date he left us for good.
You Were The Truth
Saving My Life
Mikey heard me gasp as I read that, and I saw him put his hand into his pocket and pull out a crumpled piece of white paper. He reminded me so much of Gerard in that moment that I wanted to scream.
"I found this. When I was in his room. He wrote it for you."
It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway.
"It..seemed appropriate." Mikey continued quietly, handing me the piece of paper.
My tears were blurring my vision so I couldn't see the words on the page I was holding, but I knew what it was. It was the song Gerard had written for me.

I stayed by his grave for a long time, long after everyone else left, Donna and Mikey included. I didn't know if I'd ever see them again.
I stood there with Gerard, rereading the lyrics on the sheet over and over again until I had memorized them. I read them out to him softly, hoping with all my heart that he could hear me, wherever he was.
I started my journey home only after the rain caused me to become freezing to my core.
I walked home alone, no arm around my waist, no lips nuzzling my neck.
No Gerard.
You Were The Truth, Outscreaming These Lies
You Were The Truth, Saving My Life

I couldn't save Gerard in the end. I don't think anybody could have,
He was too broken, too damaged and too haunted by the past he couldn't let go of. But he had saved me. He had given me a reason to live, a reason to go on. He taught me to open up to people, even if he didn't follow those rules himself.
Most importantly of all, he had taught me that living in the past, holding on to little regrets and living with a guilty conscience wasn't right. It inevitably led to self destruction, purposely or not.
That's why, when I said goodbye to Gerard that day, I said goodbye to Lacey, too. I wouldn't let her haunt me anymore I wouldn't be held back by my own regrets and guilty conscience. I had to live for the present. That was what I was going to do from now on. But first, there was something else I had to do.

When I arrived home, my mother and father were sitting at the kitchen table together. They both looked up when they heard me enter the room. They didn't say a word- they didn't have to. They knew where I had been.
My father eventually broken the silence, his dark eyes concerned and sympathetic. "Do you want to talk about it, Frank?"
I nodded and looked at my mother, who smiled at me.
"Yeah, I do. Let me tell you about Gerard..."