Sarah Smiles

“I missed this place.”

I and Brendon were sat in a diner we always went to when we were in Chicago. I had offered to take him out to eat and pay as a thank you for getting rid of the creepy guy in the club the night before. Brendon could never reject free food. It was just me and him.

Brendon took a slurp of his milkshake. “Me too.” He reached his hand over and took one of my fries. He nibbled at it, he wincing when his jaw moved too much.

“Are you sure your jaws not broken or anything?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s probably just bruised, that guy packed a punch.” He gave up trying to eat and dropped the half eaten fry on the table. “It doesn’t hurt so much when I talk, just when I chew.” He frowned. “I really want some of this food!”

I laughed. “Well, if it’s not better by the time we leave Chicago, I’m dragging you to the hospital.” I tauntingly place a handful of fries in my mouth. “Mmmm. So goooood.” I said with my mouth full.

“You’re so classy.” He said with a smile.

I swallowed the contents in my mouth and flashed him a fake cheeky smile. “I know right!”
We were interrupted by Brendon’s phone going off. He swiftly picked it up and answered. “Hey baby.”

My stomach dropped. I honestly just wanted to rip the phone out of Brendon’s hands and throw it into the road. Just as my mind was clearing and I was forgetting about her for this one moment, when I was enjoying myself with Brendon like the old times, I had to be reminded that she existed. I had to be reminded that things weren’t the same anymore. My smile was replaced with a frown and I suddenly begun to feel sick. Brendon put his phone down, and looked at me.

“Sorry about that.” I didn’t reply. I sat looking down, fiddling with the fries on my plate. “Sarah, you okay?”

I looked up at him. “If feel really sick, I think I ate too quickly.” Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes.

“Shall we go then?” His face was full of worry and confusion. I nodded in response. He called for the bill, and when it came I reached for my purse.

“No.” He looked at me with a stern look on his face. “I got this.”

I shook my head. “No, this is my treat. Just let me pay.”

He didn’t argue with me, knowing I was already upset and not wanting to worsen my sour mood. I threw a $20 bill onto the small plate, and we both got up.

***
The windows of Brendon’s car were rolled down, and we sat in silence as he drove. I looked out the open windows letting the cool breeze hit my face. I could feel Brendon giving me quick glances.

“What is up with you?” His eyes were on the road. “Don’t give me all this ‘I feel sick’ shit. You’ve been like this for awhile.”

“It’s nothing.” I muttered.

His voice rose. “Sarah, I’m not fucking stupid! Something is wrong with you, why won’t you just fucking tell me.”

My heart begun to pound against my ribcage, I felt a bile form in my throat. “Because there is nothing to tell you Brendon!” I felt a tear escape. My voice was shaky and cracking. “Just leave it.”

Brendon let out an aggravated sigh. The car went silent again, apart from the soft music playing in the background coming from the radio. I quickly wiped the tears falling down my face away with my sleeve. I was startled when Brendon quickly turned into an empty parking lot. The car froze in the middle of the parking lot. He pulled the key out the ignition and threw them onto the dashboard. He lent over me reaching into the glove compartment, pulling out the “Vices & Virtues” album. He flung the case open, and pulled out the CD shoving it into the disc player. He clicked the next button furiously until it reached track 7.

‘Always.’

He pressed play, and a quite strumming of a guitar begun. He got out of the car as his voice begun to blare through the speakers. He stepped to the other side of the car and opened my door.

“Get out.”

I didn’t ignore his order, undid my seatbelt and slowly stepped out of the car confused. He shut the door for me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him, my face was pushed against his chest while his chin rested on shoulder. He swayed our bodies to the rhythm of the music.

“I wrote this for you.” He said in a whisper.

I felt my breathing hitch. He started lightly singing along in my ear.

“When the world gets
To heavy
Put it on my back
I’ll be your levy”

I felt more tears stream down my face. I had begun uncontrollably sobbing into Brendon’s chest. He kissed the side of my head, squeezing my body tighter. Our bodies still swaying to the music. I wrapped my arms around his waist. His beautiful voice still running through my ears.

“You are taking me apart
Like bad glue
On a get well card.”

I felt his phone vibrate against my leg. He pulled away from the embrace and my heart sank. I was caught off guard when he pulled out the phone, turned it off and threw it to the ground. He pulled me into his hold again.

I’m the light
Blinking at the end of the road
Blink back to let me know.