Beating The Clock

Chapter 25

They go away to a commercial and the noise gets louder as the fans start to talk about all the things that Billie has said in the last few minutes. It's nothing to hear them, but when a few get up from their seats I go and stand closer to the stage. Normally fans aren't that bad, but the chance that something could happen always scares me. There have been a few times that Billie has been rushed by fans and it scared the crap out of him. He can defend himself in a fight, but trying to deal with a hysterical fan without hurting them in the struggle is harder than it seems.

He gives me a funny look then nods that he realizes what I'm doing and settles back into his seat.

When they come back from commercial, the questions continue.

I would have hoped, for everyone's sake that the questions would go onto something more related to the album and less about his relationships. I'm in no way involved with the PR aspect of Billie's life, but when there is commotion in one part of his life, I get to deal with it in another and after this interview I'm sure that the cameras are going to be on him. Great if he's trying to promote the album, but not so great if he's trying to start and keep a relationship and keep it out of the press.

"Is it hard for you to meet women you want a relationship with when you're so famous?" Wayne shuffles some paper. At first I didn't think that he looked nervous about asking these questions, but now that I get a better look at him as I back away from where the cameras are now pulling in for a tighter shot of the stage I can see it in his face. He doesn't want to ask these questions. He has to.

I remember when they'd ask me stuff like that when I was playing football still. That actually is a good question. Even though stars seem to be very social creatures, truly they don't have that much time to meet new people. When the public has to be kept away from them for security reasons it's hard to get out of the social circle that a person lives in. I'm sure this is the reason that Billie has suddenly become so interested in Vivian. Of course she's a great girl and they have spent a lot of time with each other over the last few weeks, but I think that they're together because she's on the inside, yet isn't someone that will treat him with kid gloves.

"Yeah, its easy to meet girls," Billie's getting cocky and I have a feeling that his mother is going to be calling me sometime in the next few minutes to tell me to get him to shut up. "But it's hard to meet anyone you can actually have a conversation with."

He's never been one to be a HUGE conversationalist. With a few people he'll open up and talk like there is no tomorrow, but for the most part he's always been more of a listener than a talker if he's dealing with strangers. I know what he means though about the whole conversation thing. Having something in common with the person you're with is important. That's when I knew things were going to be ending with Beverly. When all we had to say to each other was hi and good-bye, there was no chance to keep things going.

"What do women do if you ask them out?"

Why is this continuing? I'm sure Bill from Reprise is having a heart attack somewhere in the world. I know we'll see Vivian later today, probably when he does the press junket and I'm sure she'll have more than a few things to say about this interview. That's the trouble though. Billie is comfortable out there with Wayne. They're more than just acquaintances, but not best buddies and having that line be not so clear is letting him say probably more than he normally would.

"I don't ask girls out." He shifts in his seat and takes a drink of water. "I don't like dating. Dating to me is such a weird process. Don't you think? I'd rather get to know somebody in a comfortable environment."

Finally Wayne seems to get enough of that line of questioning and shows a clip of Billie stripping from the last tour he was on with Green Day. It's stock footage of him on the Pop Disaster Tour that was in the movie "Riding in Vans with Boys". That was a mess of a night. I swear, when they add events onto concerts, they should pay security more. That night we must have gotten an extra two hundred people running around backstage. It's great exposure, but leaves everyone behind the scenes running around. I think the only other band that was more stressed than security was the catering group that was running the green room. Those guys were on constant food and drink alert.

As the shot comes back from the clip Wayne is standing behind his playing air guitar.

"That's pretty good," Billie laughs.

"Thanks," Wayne says then sits back down. "So where did you learn to play like that?"

Billie shrugs and gives the same textbook answer that he always gives when it comes to interviews. "I never took guitar lessons or anything." I guess that just happens though when you get this big. You pick and answer and repeat it over and over again even if it may not be completely true. He moans. "I don't know!"

"With so much hype around you, is it hard to trust new people?" Wayne paused. "I mean we see you with publicists and guards and assistants and record label people."

"My entourage?" Billie jokes then gives me a nod. I wish I'd brought my sunglasses. I'd look like an ass if I wore them inside, but it'd at least give me a little protection. I need a break sometimes from looking like such a hard ass. I have to be this way for work, no expression and very quiet, but with shades on at least I can look around and have people not notice that I'm just as in awe of all of this as everyone else is.

"Yeah," Wayne says and suddenly I find myself on camera. "Like that big guy."

"That's just Wes," Billie says in a casual way. I know he's not dismissing the important role I play in his life. He's trying to get the attention away from me and back into the interview. I'm not the star here. He is and that's the way it should be. "Wes and a few other people around me are close to me. I know a lot of people, but I don't KNOW a lot of people if you get what I mean."

"I think so," Wayne says.

"Its not easy to make new friends. I have friends who I grew up with and I'm also still very close with my bandmates." He pauses. "There's a lot of love around me even if sometimes I don't get to see everyone every day."

"People you don't know claim that they love you, but what's the best compliment anyone has ever paid you?"

He goes for the safe answer on this one. It's gonna get him the awe factor and round out the whole sympathy vibe that's been running through this interview so far. To them he's this lonely guy that just needs a new woman in his life, not the one that is already moving onto a new relationship. "My mom tells me that she's proud of not just my talent, but of the person I am."

Wayne of course makes a big deal of this then closes up the show.

They go to commercial and Billie comes down off the stage. Tense doesn't begin to describe the air around us. "Think she's gonna be pissed?"

"Who?" I ask innocently even though I know exactly what he's talking about. In my own life, if I'd just done what he'd done I would definitely bring flowers home with me, but since he has no chance to stop and get some I'm sure his mind is trying to figure out how to approach the situation on his own.

Billie raises his hands a bit then drops them letting them hit against his thighs. "Give me a break. YOU KNOW WHO."

"Oh," I say with a half smile, "If she doesn't rip your balls off in the first five minutes I think she'll eventually get over it."

His hand moved protectively in front of him. "What?"

I laugh at his reaction. "I'm kidding." I sigh. "She is gonna be pissed though. How could you say something like that?"

"It was what we went over with the PR people the last few weeks. They knew I'd get bombarded by questions about it and we planned out kind of a cookie cutter answer for everyone."

I sigh. PR hurts as much as it heals, in this case I think it's going to be something that could seriously set their relationship back, which is a shame. They deserve someone to take away the stress of their work, instead of bringing more on. "You better explain that to Vivian really quickly or you're gonna be sleeping in the dog house tonight."

Billie moved to rub the back of his neck. It's my job to know the person I'm guarding and to anticipate what that person is going to do so I can do my job the best way I can. Today he's tense and tired and I'm sure even though he's on a high from having the album come out, there is a lot of pressure on him to do and say the right things and he probably already knows that the conversation that he just had wasn't exactly the kind of conversation that anyone from the record label or PR people would want him to be having. "Thanks."

"Billie Joe."

We both turn around to find Barry from Reprise coming down the hall. He's got a black backpack on and I know from experience that this is his little traveling office. Everyone has those now. They'll have a laptop, palm pilot and a whole bunch of files in a backpack. Billie tried this for a while, traveling with a backpack, but after he busted two of them he decided that he'd just get AOL email on the hotel computers. For once the guy thought that it would be the least expensive way to keep up with everyone.

Barry from Reprise, I want to say to him when he walks up. I don't. It's funny how we name people around here. Barry from Reprise is different from Barry from the lawyers office. There is also Sonia from Reprise as well as Hair Sonia. In this game it's hard enough to remember first names so trying to remember last names is a nightmare. We have to give nicknames or no one would remember anyone.

Barry from Reprise looks pissed. That's a look I'll never forget from him. It doesn't happen often, at least not directed in our direction, but when it does happen, the expression on his face is burned into everyone's memories. I can't tell if he heard all of the interview or not, but Billie slides a bit closer to me as if I'm supposed to save him from his label executive. He must have heard something. It really isn't Barry's job to control what comes out of his mouth concerning his personal life, but I'm sure he's going to bitch about taking the focus away from the album longer than it should have been.

"That interview--" Barry is a forty something year old guy that has been in the music industry since the beginning of time. Instead of coming out saying what's really on his mind, he has to filter it into something appropriate. "--was interesting."

"Yeah," Billie said cocking his chin towards him and closing one eye as if he was readying himself for a lecture.

"Let's try and not make your ex-relationship--hell any relationship that you're in--the focus of these interviews, okay?" Barry gave him a parental look that I don't think Billie recognized.

He nods like a good boy then as Barry turns to lead the way back to the green room makes a rude motion. I stifle my laugh knowing that this isn't the time for me to be sympathizing with Billie. I need to be the adult here when clearly there is a need for some guidance. Billie sees my reaction and makes another rude motion with his hand. Why is it so easy for guys to make a jacking off motion in times when nothing else seems to fit? You don't see girls doing that; making rude motions like that. That's another thing that I miss about not having a woman around for myself. I'm not at all ashamed to say that I need a little civility in my life. A little reminder is nice every once in a while. I get out of practice a bit when I'm on the road too long and I'm not a great influence on Jayden when I get lazy.

"Are you okay?" Billie asks.

I nod at him and point the way to the green room.

Tense. If I had paid more attention in English class I could name a million different words that could describe tension. The only word that comes to mind right as we walk in the door is uncomfortable. That doesn't even start to describe the look that Vivian gives Billie as he walks in the door. He seems to know that he's in trouble and stays back from her instead of going up to greet her. Or maybe his hesitation is because Barry is now joining us. Either way, there is a definite coldness that has settled between them.

"Barry," Vivian says and gives him a Hollywood Hug--the fake hug that all celebrities give business acquaintances.

"Vivian," Barry greets her then looks over at Jayden. "Hello there sweetheart."

Jayden ignores him and comes over to stand near me, hugging my legs shyly.

"Pumpkin, you remember Barry," I say hugging her and rubbing her back. "He's the guy that works at the place where Green Day's records are made." It's a harsh description of a record label, but for a kid her age, it's a good enough one.

"They don't make records at Reprise," Jayden says looking up at me. "They have office people that work there."

"How do you know about record labels?" I ask, not understanding how she knows about the business.

"I saw it on MTV," she said, "When I watched--"

"Mommy let's you watch MTV?" I ask knowing that the last time we talked about Jayden's TV watching habits, MTV wasn't on the list of stations that she was paying attention to.

"I watched at Lara's house," Jayden says, "Lara's brother baby-sitted us and we watched Making The Video for one of the--" She looks up at me with a confused look. "What's that group's name?"

"NSYNC?" Vivian supplies.

Jayden leaned against me again. "Is that the one with Justin?"

"Yeah," Vivian answers.

"Yeah, that one," Jayden says.

"You're one smart cookie," Barry says then shuffles across the room. "Are you all ready to go?"

"Yeah," I say and look at Jayden. She moves across the room and gets her backpack then lifts Billie's bag up so he can get his.

When everyone is ready to go Jayden lifts her arms to me. "Carry me."

"Pumpkin I can't," I say looking down at her. I have to have my hands free.

"Please?" she asks.

Vivian steps up and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Jayden, I'll carry you."

"No."

"Darling," Billie finally says and pulls her up. "How about I carry you?"

Jayden leans against my legs and stuffs her face close to my pant leg. This is really getting to me. I know she's missed me and all, but she's usually not this clingy and in the past has let Vivian or whoever else is around take care of her when I can't. "I want Daddy to carry me."

"Jayden." I crouch down and look her in the eyes. I don't want to be mad at her. I can't be mad at her, but she has to know that we need to leave and if she wants to be carried it can't be me. "Either Billie can carry you or you can walk, but we don't have time to sit here and discuss this."

She whines then turns to Billie and lifts her arms up. He pulls her up into his arms and she leans against him as if she needs a nap. Vivian moves closer to them and touches her forehead. She and Billie exchange an uncomfortable look before Vivian turns her attention back to the girl in his arms instead of keeping it on him. "You okay Honey?"

She nods and looks at me as we walk back out to the car, this time with a little better look on her face.

Barry is going to ride with us.

"Everyone put their backpacks in the back," I say moving to open up the back end. There isn't enough room for backpacks and people in the back seat, even if one of them is a half-pint. The back seat and trunk are smaller spaces than they look like from the outside. The trunk is extremely small due to the speakers in the back trunk area, but we manager to get all the bags back there. Barry doesn't hand over his bag. I'm sure for him it's like a security blanket and if it was back there all he'd be like a nervous Chihuahua if he didn't have his computer within reach.

He crawls in the front with me and Jayden sits between Vivian and Billie in the back seat. There isn't a sound coming from the three of them as I start up the car. Billie rolls his window down a bit to wave at the girls outside on the street and Vivian tips her head back and closes her eyes while Jayden curls up against her and closes her eyes too.

"Long few days?" Barry asks.

"Yeah," I sigh knowing that this tension isn't a good thing for any of us. If Barry notices it then the rest of the world is probably going to see the reaction that Vivian and Billie are having towards each other.

"We'll try to get him out of there quickly so we can get him some rest. There are a few other events that we've added for tomorrow and then he's got the weekend off to go and visit with the Armstrong family."

I nod. It'll be a good thing to have a few days off. If Beverly is in a good enough mood I think I'll try to see if Jayden can spend more time with me. I need more time with her. I'm losing touch.

As we pass the girls the screams get loud and I glance back to see Jayden covering her ears with her hands. Vivian flinches only a little with the sound then turns her head towards the window and let's the sun touch her face through the window.

Billie waves and smiles and laughs for a little bit before we pull far enough away from the fans. He sighs and scoots down in his seat, knees bumping into the back of my chair. When I look in the side mirror to make my merge into another lane, I can see that his head has turned and he's watching Vivian with a pained expression on his face. At some point in the day I'm going to have to disappear with Jayden and let him talk to her or this is just going to get worse.

"Daddy?"

"What pumpkin?" I ask.

"Can I watch TV at the hotel?" she asks.

"I think so," I say looking at Barry.

"We've got a suite so she can sit in the bedroom and watch TV while Billie talks in the main room." Barry pulls out a sheet of paper from his backpack. When he's got it out and is reading I put down my window and let the wind come into the car. It's expressway driving that lets me go a little faster than normal streets, but even with the slightly elevated speed, I don't feel much relief from the heat that is now settling in on the city. It perfectly reflects the tension in the car.

When we get to the hotel there is an overhang area that we drive up into before someone comes to the car to valet park it. I pop the back hatch so we can get out everything from back there before I hand the keys over. I walk around to the back as Billie helps Jayden out of the back seat. I help pull everyone's bags out of the back and we trudge towards the lobby. Jayden immediately grabs onto his hand and they look almost like twins walking next to each other with their backpacks on.

I open and hold the front door for everyone. I do this by reflex now. As Billie passes me he says thanks quickly and when Jayden passes me she giggles at me. I take one last look around while Vivian and Barry from Reprise go into the lobby. There aren't any fans here, at least not ones that I can see straight out on the outside of the building. There are a few cars on the far side of the street and without looking twice I recognize three paparazzi. I didn't see them at the studio, but I'm sure there were there somewhere in the crowd of people.

The lobby is a different story. I immediately notice a few girls are standing to the side watching us. This wouldn't normally catch my attention, but it being a school day it seems strange that a group of fifteen or sixteen year olds would be standing in a hotel lobby. There isn't a school around here for miles and this isn't a great kid hang out so I know that they are here for him.

Billie seems to notice me tense up a little and keeps his head down. I see his grip change on Jayden's hand as we make our way over to the elevator. He even is breathing a bit shallow.

Jayden moves to hold Billie's hand with her other hand. "Daddy?"

"What do you need Jayden?" He answers for me as I keep my eyes on the girls across the room.

I glance down and see that Jayden is looking up at me. "Daddy why are those girls staring?"

"They like me," Billie says then clears his throat when Vivian makes a small protesting noise from behind him, "I mean they like the music that I make so they came here to try to see me."

"Aren't you going to say hi?" she asks innocently looking at the girls. "If they came to see you then you should say hi."

"Maybe when we leave," He says.

Jayden does the unexpected and turns and tries to pull away from Billie's hand. When she doesn't get away from him she cups her one hand to her mouth and yells out to the girls. "We have to go, but Billie will say hi when he's done."

The girls start to giggle and when I make eye contact with Vivian she's got a silly smile on her face. This is definitely not what we expected today, but at least everyone steps into the elevator a moment later without having to deal with the girls getting too close.

Barry from Reprise presses the button on the elevator wall to get us to the fifteenth floor. Somehow we've passed the front desk. I'm assuming that Barry has checked us in already and that everything is set up and waiting for us to get there. Sometimes we use conference rooms on the lower floors for stuff like this, but today we've actually rented two different suites, or rather the record label has rented them out. One suite, as we pass and can see into the room, is a gathering area for the reporters that are going to be talking to Billie. There are already about fifteen people in the room and they all seem to look up at us as we walk by. The other is a suite for the interviews to happen in, two doors down from the first room. Both are top of the line and I know will be comfortable for the day.

"Can I talk to you for a second Barry?" Vivian asks just as we are going in. She gives me a look then Billie a hard look when he steps towards her.

"Come on you two," I finally say and push Billie and Jayden into the room. The place is already set up. There is a coffee table and a couch with a spot that looks to be cleared for any camera crews that might come in. Bottled waters are sitting on an end table and there are extra pillows on the couch.

"Nice," Billie says and goes into the bedroom. He drops his backpack onto the bed and moves into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Jayden is looking around, having dropped her backpack near the coffee table.

When there is a knock at the door Jayden runs to get it and I have to move her out of the way so I can let the reporter in.

"Whoa," the guy says when he sees me. He looks down at Jayden who's behind me trying to see who is at the door. "Do I have the right room?"

"That depends," I say trying to make sure the guy knows that there will be no funny business going on today.

"Jerry Armor. I'm with Launch News." He shows me his business card immediately, not that I need it. "Barry said that you were ready for me. Or rather that Billie Joe is ready for me?"

I lean out the door and see Barry on the phone, but he sees me and waves to me to let the guy in. I could make things easier on this guy and act a little more hospitable, but I don't. In my profession, formal is the only way to go in situations like this. I need to keep up the image that I'm in control, even if sometimes I know that I'm just as helpless as everyone else.

"Yeah," I say, "Billie will be ready in a second. Have a seat."

Jayden watches as the guy comes into the room. "Daddy?" she asks moving closer to me.

"Sorry," I say to Jerry. "We'll go get him."

I pick up Jayden and start towards the bedroom.

"We ready?" He asks from the doorway of the bedroom.

"Looks like it," I say nodding towards the reporter who is looking over some notes.

Billie walks past me into the room.

"Jerry Armor," the reporter says with a handshake. He gives me a look as I move to the bedroom. I'm not looking straight at him, looking more to getting Jayden out of the main room into the bedroom so she won't disturb anyone, but I still feel the guy's eyes following me across the room before he turns his attention back to Billie. I don't like the intimidation factor for the most part, but here it's needed. Even though Barry from Reprise will be up here in a few minutes, for the moment I'm the only barrier between Billie and the reporter. "LAUNCH News."

"Hi," He said and takes his seat.

Jerry is a nervous type of guy. I'm sure he's done a million interviews, but press junkets are different. They are rushed and that never is a great thing for reporting. It leads to misunderstandings and misquotes all the time. "I want to jump right in since I know your day is packed."

"Great," Billie says.

Leaving them alone for a second I put Jayden in the bedroom, closing the door behind me most of the way. I put Jayden down on the edge of the bed and move back towards the doorway. "Baby you gotta be really quiet okay?"

Jayden around so that she can open up her backpack and sit more properly. "Okay Daddy."

I watch her settle into a seat then am fascinated by the way she stands on her knees to see out the window before she sits back down.

I can hear the introductions still being done between Billie and the reporter and I know that now that they're sitting the guy is going to put everything on record. On record. It's the worst thing in the world. To safeguard people from making misquotes or making up stories, Billie always does interviews with other people in the room. Privacy is a dangerous thing in a situation like that. Everything in his life when it comes to things like this needs to be documented. "Let me go check on things really quick then you can pull out your coloring book again and finish that picture for Billie."

"Okay Daddy," she says in a hushed voice.

Jerry turns on his little tape recorder as I return to the room. I pull a chair over out of the way and set it in the doorway so I can see Jayden in the bedroom, but also keep an eye on Billie and Jerry. "So when Green Day went on a hiatus you decided to keep working. Was that a conscious decision or did it just happen?"

"It's really more about timing than anything," he explained. "It just worked out."

"And were you always thinking of this kind of a project for American Idiot?"

"It's something that's kind of been an ongoing thing for me as a kid, and I just got, you know, in the madness of all the craze, things just got so crazy. I think as a group we decided to kind of slow down and see where our heads were at and what we wanted to do for the next record. You know, I just got this creative spurt and we went in the studio, and here it is."

"So who can you name as your influences on this album. Are they different than who influenced your prior work?"

"I was lucky enough to grow up in a time where we could make our own decisions and be influenced by people that you didn't even like. I just think, you know, there's other music out there for me, and there's other music that influenced me.

"Do you ever think of yourself as an inspiration for other artists?"

"Not really," he says with a shrug.

That's one thing I love about this guy. As much as he jokes around about being cocky when he's with his friends, the man truly doesn't know how to handle compliments from his peers.

"Well I have a quote for you," Jerry says.

Billie shrugged. "Okay."

"In a recent interview with U2, said, "Dude is talented. I don't care what you say, you can't deny if it's talent, man. I believe there are a couple people on earth for a reason; Billie being one of them, for sure."

"Wow," Billie says with a bashful look on his face. "That's-that's flattering."

Barry comes in the other door and nods to me before he brings me over a list. He quickly leans towards me. "Here is the list of people that are allowed in during the interviews."

"Where'd Vivian run off to?" I ask knowing that she should probably have this list before I do.

"She'll be back in a second." He pauses and watches Billie for a moment as he is telling this Jerry guy goodbye. "She had to make a phone call."

"Did she seem okay?" I ask. I don't want to start trouble, to put my nose in where it doesn't belong, but I'm certain that something is going on with her and I have a feeling that she's about to go cry on the phone to someone. She doesn't do it often, but today seems like an appropriate time for her to do it. After what Billie told Wayne I'd be upset too if it was me he was talking about.

"Yeah," he said, "Why?"

"Just wondering if she was feeling okay." I try to think up a good enough lie to make it seem as if I'm only checking up and not prying. "We had a night flight last night and I don't think anyone slept that well."

"She looked okay to me," Barry shrugged.

"Okay," I nod.

Barry looks at his phone to see the time. I look at my own watch and see that some of the diamonds are falling out of it. I've hit it a few times on doors and the car doors. Next time I have a chance I'll have to go see Jake in New York and get him to fix it. I spent a shit load on this watch and I need to make sure that I keep this thing looking good. It's all about status when you're hanging around Green Day. We aren't really all that caught up in it, but the status we have makes people assume that we do and live a certain way. "Let me make one more last run through with the reporters outside and then I'll come take over watching Billie's interviews so you can spend some time with Jayden."

I sigh. "I hate to be a trouble."

"No trouble at all," Barry says, "I'm the one that needs to be in here anyway."

I nod. "Thanks."

Pushing himself to his feet Barry gives Billie a smile then slips from the room quietly and soon the first interview of the day is being finished.

"Thanks for the time," Jerry is saying soon and Billie shakes his hand one last time before he plops back down onto the couch.

As soon as Jerry is out of the room he sighs. "Where's Vivian?"

"Making a phone call," I say quickly. "She'll be back in a bit."

Another knock sounds at the door and another reporter comes into the room, this time with Barry from Reprise.

"Rick Astor," the guy says as he takes his seat.

"I'll take over," Barry says and tells me that I can go in the other room with Jayden.

I get up and move and only half listen as the guy starts in with his questioning. "Punk music has recently become more pop, what's your take on this since you seem to have pulled the pop world and the punk world together on this new album?"

"I think music is gonna make a full circle in the near future. I think it might end up going back to an era like the 60s, where people really didn't classify what was music."

I smile at the thought of that.

"Daddy?"

"What pumpkin?" I ask and move to sit on the bed. The door is still open a little so we'll have to be a bit quiet, but for the most part I can at least have a conversation with her without getting into Billie's way.

Jayden smiled, "Can I come on tour with you?"

"Not until you're older honey," I say. I don't know why this has come up, but that's the only answer I can give her to explain why she can't come with me. Hanging out with her for a few days here and there is fine, but actually packing her up and taking her on the road wouldn't work for either of us. She'd be bored to death. I'd never get to see her.

"Please," she says, "I'll be a good girl."

I sigh. I wonder if Beverly has been using her behavior to get her off the whole idea of coming to spend time with me. I could see that if she'd been horrible that she might not get to spend time with me, but I know Beverly's way of thinking and the little things are bigger to her than to other people. "You're a good girl already honey."

"If I'm a good girl why can't I come and see you?"

This is not the conversation I want to be having with her right now. I need to talk to Beverly about this before I try to explain it to Jayden. I want her to come and visit and I know she'd be a good kid, but I don't know if Beverly will even let her come with me for a weekend or two. She seemed too strange on the phone earlier for me to believe that she's going to let our daughter be with me more than just a few days a year.