Out Of Time

Flashback as Dream

“Get off of me. Get off of me.” I said trying to hit him but his holds on my arms were far too strong for me to break. “What are you doing this to me?”

“Because I want you and now I am going to have you one way or the other.” He said then bent his head and force his lips on mine.

I move my head breaking the contact. I feel my heart beat in fear as well as my skin.

“Please don’t do this. Let me go. Please let me go.” I said pleading him fighting him trying to push him off of me somehow.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” He said and his breath told me that he had a little too much to drink but still that was no excuse for him to do this.

I tried to scream again but his hand cover my mouth. But not matter how much I fought no one came this time no one came. I tried to scream for Chris but I couldn’t his hold was tight on me that I couldn’t even speak much less breathe.

End of flashback

“Aahhh! Chris!” I scream as I woke up from my nightmare breathing hard. I looked around the room realizing that it was my room and that I was safe. I looked at the empty space next to me on the bed hoping for some sort sign of Chris but he wasn’t there. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I bring my knees together and buried my head in them. I feel myself trembling in fear of the dream. Then I hear footsteps running and opening the door of the room.

“Lena.” Chris’s voice said coming toward me.

I looked up at him with my tear blurry vision and smile at the sight of him standing there. I felt relief washing over me that he was here and that he didn’t left.

“Chris.” I whisper softly to him as he walked toward my bed and sit down in front of me.

“Are you okay?” he asked concern as I shook my head not knowing what to said or how to explain it. As he reach out to touch me, I move away from his touch. He drop his hand and I looked at him. He looked like he couldn’t believe that I actually thought he was going to hurt me. His eyes reflected pain and I realize my mistake at once. He was trying to comfort me and I reject it.

“I am sorry.” I said honestly.

“It’s okay.”

I lay back my head on the pillow laying back to my right side hugging the blanket close to me still feeling myself trembling and afraid at the nightmare. I felt him move on the bed and put his arms around me bringing me comfort. I felt his fingertips softly cleaning away my tears then he lay his cheek against mine.

“It’s going to be okay. I am here. I am not going anywhere, Lena.” He said whispering in a soothing tone as his other hand softly rubs my arms comforting me. Then he pulled back bringing me closer to him and hug me tightly on his arms.

After a few minutes of silence and comfort, I reach down with my left hand and took a hold of his that was around my waist. I close my hand around his in a hold thanking him that he was there. I bring his hand closer to my chest and he lay his head on the pillow that I was using but a few inches above me. His fingers were passing through my hair calming me. The thought of him been here and comforting me made me feel calm. I breathe out through my trembling lips.

“Thank you, Chris.” I said honestly holding his hand that was against my chest to my face. I kiss the opening of his palm and lay my head against it. Loving the feeling of him been here with me.

“You welcome, Lena.” He whisper softly as he lips touch the top of my head.

A few minutes of silence pass by, I close my eyes feeling myself relaxing.

“Want to talk about what happened?” he asked wanting to know.

I shook my head. “I had a bad dream.”

“Bad dream. Will you like to tell me about it?” He said and I turn myself around to face to face. He was looking at me as right hand support his head to look down at me but he still let me hold the other one against me.

“It’s about what happened last night.” I confess honestly and he nodded in understanding somehow trying to stay calm. “I dream about it and no one came. No one heard me scream for help. No one.”

His eyes searching mine then he leaned forward and kiss me my forehead and lay his head against mine. “I came. I came for you just now. I came for you last night. I will always come for you, Lena. Anytime you need me, I’ll be there.” He whisper truthfully and I reach out and softly touch his cheek then trace down his lips. He flinch back a little but still let me touch him. I also notice that he had apply some ointment so that way the wound could heal naturally.

“Sorry.” I said feeling guilty.

“It’s okay.” He say with a smile.

Then I reach out up and trace the top of one of his eyebrows that had a little purple bruise. They were proof of it. Proof that he did came for me last night. I leaned forward and kiss his forehead softly thanking him. Been with him somehow have always manage to banish away my nightmares.

Then I lay back on the pillow and as I did my nose accidently touch his. He smile at that but created a little space between us which somehow I feel glad about. As my eyes search over his I couldn’t help but smile and without noticing I let go of his hand and took a hold of the necklaces around his neck. He looked down then looked back at me.

“Why do you still wear this?” I asked wanting to know as I looked at the cross more closely.

“Because you gave it to me.” He said then looked around my neck. “Why do you still wear yours?”

“Because you gave it to me.” I repeated with a smile as I feel my heart beat along with his.

Slowly I watch him reach with his hand and move my hair back out of my face. His sudden warm touch sends shivers up and down my spine. I couldn’t tell what was he thinking as he continues to caress my hair and stare at me in silence as the seconds tick by.

“Umm, what are you thinking about, Chris?” I asked hesitating slowly at first.

“That I don’t want the day to be over even though it just began. I wish that time could stop so that I could stay here with you….for hours and hours….and hours….” He said with a sweet heart melting on his face. Slowly a sudden red appear on his cheeks as he continue to looked at me with glowing eyes.

I have never seen Chris looked at me this way before. I couldn’t even breathe by the looked on his face. This was a new Chris. A Chris I have never seen before but why? Was it because he was worried or because he did care about me as much as I care about him?

“Is Christopher Knight blushing?” I asked feeling happily at the sudden thought.

“No, I am not.” He cried out and buried his head deep inside the pillow but I could still see the blushing spreading to the tip of ears and the back of his neck.

This was definitely a new Chris! A new adorable looking Chris, I’ve never seen this side of him before.

“You are!” I cried out feeling happiness around me. I sit down next to him as I looked over at him closely. My hands were on his bare back. “Chris…Chris…I want to see.”

He mumble something but with his head still buried on the pillow I couldn’t understand anything of what he just said.

“Please!” I said feeling my face heat up too.

He move his head from side to side telling me no.

“Fine.” I said feeling myself playfully as I reach for my pillow and hit him gently but not too hard on his back.

He quickly took a sitting position and looked at me with a challenging smile on his face.

“Did you just hit me with a pillow?” he asked.

“Maybe.” I said smiling while rolling my eyes playfully at him.

“I see.” he said nodding his head and moving his body to step out of the bed but even though I expect it I never saw it coming. He hit me on the pillow gently too on my left arm.

“Hey, you never hit a girl.” I said and stand up on my bed still wearing the long grey sweat pants and blue shirt that I change into last night.

I hit him back and soon after we were chasing each other all over the room having a pillow fight. Knowing I was going to lose this battle I tried to escape but failed.

“Where do you think you are going?” Chris asked still in his playfully tone and pick me up on his arms from the back. I cried out in delight feeling surprise by the sudden gesture. I couldn’t help but laugh as he took me back to the bed while I was still carrying my pillow in my hands.

“Chris, put me down.” I said and he did but somehow he end up slipping and fall right on top of me but since I was still carrying the pillow he fall right on top of it instead.

I stop laughing as he looked at me. His hands were holding him up as they were flat open on each of side of my head. Slowly inch by inch he started too leaned toward me as his eyes looked over at mine and then that much I knew. I knew that because that’s what he always he did every time he want a kiss or want to give me a kiss. I move my head away breaking our eye contact things were getting way to intimate.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to get carry away.” He said honestly and I looked at him.

I open my mouth to said that it was okay but my stomach growl and he burst out laughing.

“Could you move so we could get something to eat?”

“I don’t know could I.” he said teasing me.

“Chris.”

He moved away from me and I stand up and walked toward the bathroom closing the door behind me. I breathe out feeling relief that I was alone at last. I walked toward the sink and wash my face waking myself up. Then I brush my teeth taking my time. When I was done I put the toothbrush back where it belong and dried my face with a small pink towel. I walked out of the bathroom and found Chris talking on his cell phone still shirtless.

“Mom, I am fine there is nothing to worry about….I know that…yes I will go home as soon as I can. Okay. Love you too, bye.” He said flipping close his phone and looked at me.

“Are you….do you have to leave?” I asked wanting to know nervously at the thought of him
leaving me all alone knowing my mom was at work. I decided to make myself busy by making the bed. I fix the bedcovers and then the comforter as he looked around the room for the pillows.

“No if you want me to. I want stay a little longer if that’s okay with you.” He said handing me the pillows as his eyes instantly locked with mine. I shook my head holding the pillow tight on my hands.

“Thank you, Chris. For been here with me. It really means a lot.” I said honestly knowing it was written deep inside in my heart.

He smile at that. “Thank you for letting me stay.” He said reaching out with his hand and move my hair back and place it behind my left hair. I looked up at him feeling shy all of the sudden since he was standing really close in front of me. My stomach turn into tiny butterflies inside of me and somehow I like the feeling of it.

“So ready for breakfast.” I said breaking the eye contact and shaking my head. After a second of silence, I looked up at him waiting for his answer.

“Sure. I will love some breakfast.” He said rolling his eyes with a funny expression as he continue to looked at me.

I laugh at that softly and I put the pillow on the bed and walked out of the room with him following him closely behind.

****
As Lena and I made breakfast together which was pancakes with chocolate chips, I couldn’t help but feel glad that we were like this. Together. Somehow. I knew we couldn’t go back to the way we were but we could make a new start and hope for the best. I like been with her. I like knowing that she is there close to me. Without her it was something that I have been going through for a couple of weeks and I didn’t like the feeling of it. I didn’t like the feeling of having no Lena in my life.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked pulling me away from my thoughts.

I looked at her. “Nothing, just mixing the pancakes.” I said as I move the batter inside the bowl moving the mix of pancakes.

She leaned close to me and reach in with a tip of her finger. Then bring the finger up and unexpectedly brush it on my nose. I rolled my eyes at her. She burst out laughing.

“I like it. It suits you perfectly.” She said smiling.

“I don’t think so.” I said cleaning the tip of my nose with a napkin then continue to move the mix.

As I made the pancakes, Lena went in for the search of plates and cups. I saw her out of the corner of my eye jumping not too high as she tried to reach for a set of plates. I feel the urge to laugh and tried my best to ignore. I walked toward her and from standing behind her I reach up and pulled out the plates and handed them to her.

“Thank you.” She said then walked away and set them on the kitchen counter.

“You welcome, shorty.” I said teasing her.

She turned to shot a looked at me as I flip the pancakes to make the other side of it. Suddenly I feel my butt getting hit by a towel.

“Hey watch it.” I said warning her. I turned to looked at her. “Or otherwise I am going to burn these pancakes.”

“That’s what you get for calling me short.” She said pouting her lips which she made look so cute.

I put down the pastula and walked toward her. “I like you short, Lena.” I said honestly standing close to her. Her eyes went from my bare chest to my neck then to mine.

“Why?” she asked looking at me.

“Because…” I started to said but stop as I feel feeling not be able to breathe. “Because it is so easy for me to…” I said feeling my head leaning toward her all in it’s own. As I started to get even closer, the phone started to ring.

“I better get that.” She said then walked away to answer the phone. “Hello…oh hi Alexi…” she said then walked away leaving standing there alone on the kitchen.
I couldn’t help but feel disappointment wash over me.

“Yeah, I am fine…Nothing to worry about…” her voice said from the distance softly.

Suddenly remembering the pancakes, I turn off the stove and put the pancakes on the plates she put on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah Chris stay the night.” Her voice said after a minute of silence. I frowned at the answer. Why did Alexi wanted to know where I was? Then I remember her words from last night. “You need to leave her alone. She is ready to get over you don’t you understand?” It suddenly hit me remembering why there were no memories of us in her room. All of it were gone because Lena was really trying to get over me. She was trying to move on. “No Alexi, nothing happened. We are just friends!” she said sounding so honest. I feel my heart move out of place at her words. Friends. Lena wanted to be friends. Why was I so disappointed? Did I just expect to play hero last night so that Lena could give me a chance? “Look I gotta go. I’ll talk you later.” She said and I feel the sound of the phone been hang up and her footsteps coming close. I breathe out and took the plates on my hands and walked toward the table to set them there.

“Sorry about that.” She said entering the kitchen.

“It’s okay besides breakfast is ready.”

“Great. Let me get the juice.” She said as she put the phone down and open the refrigerator and took out the orange juice and pour two cups of it. She put the juice back and walked toward me and handed me one of the juices as we both sit down on the table. I reach forward the syrup at the same time she did and our fingers brush.

“Sorry.” She said pulling her hand away from mine.

“No it’s okay you go ahead.” I said putting my arm back down.

She reach for it again and I watch her pour the syrup on the pancakes and then pass it to me. As we eat breakfast we stood quiet and as we watch the dishes it was the same thing.

“It’s something wrong?” she finally asked not liking the silence between us.

“Not really.” I said drying my hands with paper towel and then when I was done I throw it in the trash. I headed upstairs without another word not knowing what to said to her after what I just heard. I walked into her room and slip back on my t-shirt and my sneakers.

“You are leaving.” Lena’s voice said coming into the room.

“I am not leaving, Lena. I am just a little cold.” I said honestly since it was the half of it.

“Oh.” She said as she shook her head with a small smile. “Want to watch a movie?” she asked looking at me chewing her bottom lip. I stare down at my hands as I sit on her computer desk chair.

“Sure.” I said as she smile at me then went to search for a movie.

Minutes later after looking over the movies she put on a random one and went to sit on the bed keeping a safe distance from me. As we watch the movie, I didn’t pay attention to it. I was so lost on my thoughts that I didn’t even know what it was about. I sit there staring at Lena watched the movie once a in while she turned to smile at me then went back to watch the movie.

I didn’t even know how much time pass when I hear the door open downstairs and Lena’s mom yelled “Kids I am home.”

I stand up and so did Lena but somehow she manage to trip over her boots that I remove from her last night and as I tried to reached out to help her I end up falling with her too.

“I am sorry.” She said looking up at me as I lay on top of her. I move my weight out of her.

“It’s okay.” I said honestly then did the mistake of looking at her. Her eyes were looking at me reflecting happiness. I clear my throat and move my body away from her and stand up then I reach out with my hand and help her stand up.

When she was standing in front of me not letting go of my hand I didn’t even know what to do. Her eyes search over mine looking for something, searching for something. I shook my head then pulled my hand out of hers.

“Chris, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You have been a little distant since my talk with Alexi on the phone. Did I….”

“No, no it’s nothing about that.” I said hoping that I sound honest while in my mind a big giant sign said “Yes it is.” “I should go home. Your mom is here so…I am not needed besides my mom is a little worry.” I said then started to head out the door.

“Wait, I’ll walk you out.” She said and we both headed down the stairs.

“Oh hey Chris, do you guys already eat?” Lena’s mom asked looking at us.

“Yeah, mom we already eat. I am just walking Chris out. He needs to get home his mom is worry about him.” Lena said explaining half of the reason why I wanted to leave.

“Oh well then, good bye, Chris. I hope to see you around!” she said and reach out and hug me in her arms.

“Good bye.” I said after the hug was over. I walked out of the house with Lena following me.

As I stop by the driver side door of the car, I turned around to looked at her.

“Lena, are we…ever…I mean…are we friends?” I hesitated a little bit at first knowing that wasn’t what I wanted to asked her. She looked at me as I stare at her nervously. Will she figure out what I asking? What I wanted to know?

“Yeah,…I mean if you want to we can be friends….” She said mumbling for a little bit.

“Yeah, that will be great…friends…we are friends.” I said trying to sound happy about the idea.

Suddenly out of the blue she reach out and hug me, I hug her close to me leaning my head next to hers shaking it. My arms went around her waist as her fingers pass through the back of my head. I breathe out as the touch came to be a memory of all the times she hug me in her arms. I tried to resist the urge of kissing her as I pulled away and looked at her closely. She smile at me then reach out and kiss me on the right of my cheek. I shook my head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” She said as I open the car door.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said and step inside the car and turn the key on the ignition.

As I back out the car out of the driveway I watch her make her way back inside the house wondering if we will ever be more than just friends again? I shook my head clearing my thoughts and turn the wheel to the left heading toward home.