Out Of Time

I breathe out as I worked on my English Homework. As I write on my notebook, I couldn’t help but smile and steal glances once in a while at what was in front of me. Lena was sitting across the table in front of me working on her homework with an adorable frown on her face that she always did when she was concentrating. A few small curls from her hair fall across her face and I find myself fighting the urge to reach out and move it back. As if she was reading my mind she reach out with her left hand and put them back behind her ear and looked at me. She smile at me showing her incredible beautiful dimples on both cheeks.

“What? Is there something on my face?” she asked wanting to know pointing at herself.

“No. You look perfect.” I said honestly as I smile at her.

Her face heat up instantly then she shook her head feeling self conscious all of the sudden.

I feel my face heat up too as I continue to looked at her. I bit my lower lip as I tried to hide the grin on my face. I looked around and it was all quiet. But then again if you were in a library you were suppose to be quiet. There weren’t many people here. I looked at the clock in the wall and it read 7:15 pm. I breathe out and looked back at my work.

“You gotta love Shakespeare.” I whisper softly trying to make a conversation between us since it was so quiet. Somehow I didn’t like the silence between made us wonder if she was thinking about her work or me. It was very frustrating. “It’s a real piece of work.”

Lena smile at that. “Yeah, we just finished reading The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet.”

“We just finished Hamlet. Now we have to write an essay about what we learned about it.”

“Yeah, that’s whole different side of Shakespeare compare to Romeo and Juliet.”

“The most romantic tragic love story of all times.” I said looking at her. “Yeah very different all right.”

She laugh softly at that.

“Excuse me Lena.” A guy’s voice said interrupting us.

I looked at him but he was looking at Lena with an open friendly expression on his face.

“Hi Casey.” Lena’s voice said in a friendly tone and I turned to looked at her at the same time she turned to looked at me. She send me an apologetic smile and then turned back to looked at him as I did. “What’s up?”

“Did you finish the homework exercises for Calculus? It just I didn’t understand number sixty five.” He asked wanting to know.

Lena frowned at him for a second then looked down at her work and got out her Calculus binder. She flip through some pages and open it to a page full of writing and numbers with equations. “Yeah it was very complicated for a little while but I did understand. Do you need some help?”

“Sure.” He said then gesture with his hand the chair next to her. She nodded and he sit down and they both got to work.

I couldn’t help but looked at her and him. Minutes pass I hear them laugh and talked like old friends. Casey seem more laid back and easy to talk kind of guy so I guess that’s what Lena got along well with him. Suddenly I feel an uneasy feeling surging through my body. Will we ever be like this? Will there be a day that we will be something more? I shook my head looking at the smiling face of Lena as she continue to work with Casey. I lay my chin on top of my book as I continue to stare at them. Lena looked at me as Casey wrote down something on his notebook and smile sweetly at me. I smile back. Then after a few more minutes of working I feel thirsty I stand up without making too much sound that could interrupt them and walked toward water fountain which was at the end of the hallway.

“Chris…” Lena’s voice said stopping me making me turned around to face her face to face.
I looked at her with a fear expression reflecting on her eyes standing next to her chair almost as if she was afraid of me leaving her all alone.

“I am going to drink some water. I’ll be back real fast.” I said promising her honestly with a small smile.

She nodded and sat back down on her chair still looking at me. I wink at her then continue to walked toward the water fountain.

When I reach it I bend down and drink some of the water and then when I was done I let my arms rest at the edge of the fountain. I lick the outside of my lips as I stare at the white wall in front of me. She was still afraid. Lena was still afraid of been alone. It has been likes this for the past three days. One minute she was okay then the next she was afraid of been alone. It was all his fault. He did this. Angrily I raise my fist and punch the wall in front of me.
I told myself to calm down. Lena didn’t need to see me like this. She already has too much in her mind. I didn’t want to worry her anymore.

“Wow Chris, I’ve never seen this side of you. I like it.” An annoying voice that I was trying to avoid so much said close to me.

I turned my face to the right and somehow I knew it was her.

“What do you want Ashley?” I asked wanting to know as I looked away from her.

“You didn’t call me. Why? I promise you we could have some fun and it seems like you don’t want to.” She said in a flirty tone pouting her lips which somehow made her looked weird.

I blink my eyes breathing out.

“I thought I said I wasn’t interested. How long is it going to take for you to get it? I am not interested in you. I will never be interested in you ever again.” I said honestly getting sick of the cat and mouse game we were playing.

Suddenly I regret said something so mean to her. She looked so sad all of the sudden.

“I am sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” I said feeling guilty.
She looked at me then send me a small sad smile. “Why we can’t go back, Chris? Why can’t we ever go back to you and me? What happened to you? All of the sudden since you and Lena break up you have looked different.” she asked wanting to know.

I lay my back and head against the wall behind me. “I change in some way I guess. I can’t really explain it.” I whisper softly and truthfully through my lips.

“Is it Lena?’ she asked all of the sudden looking at me with a more understanding looked on her face.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lena’s figure looking at me from the great distance between us. I found myself smiling at her. She send me a smile. I turned my head around as it was down.

“She is part of the reason. I guess I never like anyone the way that I like her.” I found myself whispering without thinking about it first. Then I realize it was true. I have never like any of the other girls the way that I like Lena. Somehow I guess I never will.

Ashley smile happily at that. “I wish a guy will once talk about me the way you talked about Lena.”

“Someday someone will tell you.”

“But not you.”

“No, I guess not.” I said honestly looking at her.

“Good luck with Lena, Chris.” She said in a friendly tone I have never hear her use before.

Then she shook her head and shyly she added “To be honest, I always thought you two looked cute together. Sort of like milk and chocolate mix together.”

I found myself chuckling at that. Milk and chocolate. I guess that’s a good way to describe me and Lena. But not matter the things that were going on between us now. Whether we were friends for rest of our lives and nothing more. I will always cherish this type of chocolate.

“Thanks, Ash. Anyway I gotta go. Take care.” I said as started to walked away looking at her.

“You too. Listen if you ever want to talk. Forget about the party stuff that involves two people and call me. I am great listener.”

“Are you asking me to be your friend?” I asked wanting to know making sure that I heard right. An ex-conquest wanted to be my friend. Wow talk about change.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Okay.” I said and turned around and walked toward Lena as Casey stand up from his chair.

“Thank you, Lena. You were a great help.” I hear him said feeling grateful.

“Anytime.” She said and with a small wave she wish him good night as he walked away.

“Ready to go. Your curfew is almost up.” I said looking down at her as she looked up at me.
Her eyes went behind to somewhere behind me then looked back at me. I frown at her feeling confuse. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I am okay.” She said smiling up at me then she turned to gather her stuff together. I
turned to my chair and started to put my stuff inside my book bag. As I reach for one of my books without looking I feel my hands touch hers. A small gentle shiver pass through my hand at the touch. I smile loving the feeling of it all at once. I turned to looked at her to find her staring at me with a shy innocent expression on her face.

Then as we hear a book been drop from the distance, she pulled away and took her calculus book which was the one that she was reaching as I was reaching for my English one. I breathe out suddenly feeling awkward at the situation and finish packing my stuff.

****
As we walked out of the library into the parking lot, it was all silence. I looked at Chris out of the corner of my eyes then as he looked at me too I looked away. I pretend to swallow but in reality I was trying to hide the fact that my heart beat was moving faster than before.

“Is it okay if we get ice cream?” I asked stopping myself looking up at him.

He rolled his eyes at me for a second. “Ice cream.”

“Yeah, I feel like eating or chewing something cold.” I said as my hands started to tremble and I hold them together hoping he won’t notice.

He looked down at them then looked back at me. “Are you okay?” he asked looking concern.

“Yeah.” I said honestly with a smile. “So ice cream is it okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Pretty please.”

“Lena I have to take you home if I don’t…”

“Please, Chris. I want some ice cream.” I said and he suddenly looked down at me. I didn’t even realize that I have move while begging for ice cream and that my hand accidentally was holding his shirt.

I took a deep breath as my eyes looked up at him. I smile as I smell the manly sweet scent of him coming from his body. I miss that scent so much.

“Okay. We’ll go for ice cream.” He said smiling at me as his eyes started to glow with the light that was hitting them from the street lamps.

“Yay.” I said happily and reach up and hug him.

His arms went gently around my waist as he hug me back. He lay his head on top of mine. I hug him tighter but gently as I realize how much I miss this. I have hug him many times before but this particular hug was especial somehow. It was full of happiness and magic that were so hard to describe all at once. I smile as I continue to take his scent to me.

“Thank you for always for been with me, Chris.” I said honestly as I turned my head to looked up at him. His head was leaning so much to close to mine that I suddenly feel breathless at the beautiful sight of it.

“You welcome.” He said reaching out with his hand that he remove from around my waist and put my hair back in place since it was moving against the night cool wind. His fingers slowly stay there at the side of my face. His touch was so powerful and gentle even full with kindness.

Then suddenly as he continue to looked at me in our close position a car from the distance beep and his eyes flash with something then he shook his head as if he was clearing his thoughts and move his hair away from his face as he pulled away from me.

“Something wrong?” I asked wanting to know.

He looked up at me with a confused looked reflecting on his face. “No…No…Nothing at all. So how about that ice cream.” He said and taking a hold of my arm gently and pulled me toward his car.

At the ice cream parlor I sat across from him once again as we ate our ice cream which kind of surprise that he too order cookie dough ice cream which was my favorite. I smile happily at that as he continue to looked out the window. I reach forward slowly and lay my hand on top of his. He looked at me.

“Chris, is everything okay?” I asked wanting to know. He was so quiet during the ride.

He nodded. “Yeah I am okay. Just thinking that’s all.”

I nodded at that and put my spoon back on my ice cream cup. “About your new girlfriend.” I blurt out without even thinking about it first.

His eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly almost choke on the ice cream that he was eating. He cough covering his mouth with his hand then started to gather his breathing back to normal. He looked up at me.

“What girlfriend?”

“You know that girl at the library. If you wanted to be with her you could have just said so. In fact I believe I have never seen you looked so happy before.” I said honestly as I shook my head staring down at my hands.

It was true I have never seen Chris looked so happy but the way he was talking and smiling to the girl I could tell that he was happy. He looked more happier than he looked now.

“Lena, she is not my girlfriend. She was at some point but that was before you and I even met. But now trust me she is not my girlfriend. She is just a friend.” He said sounding so honest and truthfully.

I looked up at him and he smile at me.

“Were you jealous?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“No.”

He rolled his eyes at that. He looks so adorable.

“Hmm mmm.”

“I am serious I am not jealous besides you and I are just friends. It’s not like I am going to stop you from having a girlfriend.” I said as I sit back on my chair folding my arms against my chest looking at him seriously.

He almost choke on the ice cream again but this time he was more alert. He put his spoon full ice cream down inside the cup then started to move it around.

“Anyway since when did you start to like Cookie dough ice cream?” I asked wanting to know and changing the subject reaching out for mine again. It was so awkward been with Chris and talking about other girls and even ex girlfriends.

He looked at me and smile. “Since you first introduce it to me, I believe it was love at first sight because I haven’t stopped eating it since.”

“Really.” I said not believing what I just heard.

“Really.” He said as he bring the spoon back to his mouth. Then made a face that shows that he was telling the truth. He really love the ice cream. He really love my favorite ice cream. I couldn’t help but feel happy and smile at that.

Half later he drop me off in front of my house and walked me to the front door.

“I hope your mom does not kick my butt for bringing you a little late.” He said as we walked.
I reach inside my book bag and pulled out my house keys. I turned to looked at him.

“It’s okay. I’ll explain. It will get you off the hook.” I said honestly. Then after a minute of silence I said “Will I see you tomorrow at school?”

“I’ll be there. Then I will be there again the next day, then next day, then next day, then again the other next day just because I need to graduate.” He said jokingly and I laugh at that.

He smile at the sight of me laughing which made me stop and looked at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Chris.” I said then leaned forward and reach up and kiss him softly on the cheek which I hope it was what some friends do.

He smile sweetly and heart melting at me that I feel myself not been able to breathe again. I now even wonder if he did it on purpose or what.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“You too, and sweet dreams.” I said and with a small wave I walked toward the door and turn the key in the locked and then turned to looked at him and I found him looking at me. He nodded then walked toward his car and drive away. I close the door and put the lock on it. I lay against it founding myself smiling. There was always something about Chris that made me feel all happy inside.

“Hey honey did you have fun?” my mother’s voice said pulling me away from my thoughts.

I turned to looked at her. “Yeah I have fun. Anyway I am going to hit the bed. I am really tired.”

“Okay good night, sweetheart.” Her voice said as I reach up and kiss her on the cheek then walked up the steps to go to my room.

“Night mom.” I said. I walked toward my room and open the door then put the book bag down as I walked toward my bed and lay down. I turned myself and looked out the window.
The moon was shinning so bright tonight looking beautiful. “Chris…” I found myself whispering without even thinking.

The next day when Alexi park her car in the usual spot and we walked along side of each other.

“I wonder what happened with Nicole? She didn’t come to school today.” I said feeling worried at her absence it wasn’t like her to miss a day of school at all.

“Well she said her mom will give her a ride and speaking of her…” Alexi started to said and we both turned to looked at Nicole who was stepping out of grey SUV and walked toward us.

“Hey guys.” She said smiling at us.

“Hey.” Alexi said waving at her.

“Hi.” I said as my eyes all of the sudden met Chris who was standing with his friends in the exact same spot that he has been standing waiting for me since Monday.

It was kind of out ordinary today as I watch him talked with Mike, Taylor, Nick and Jaime. By the looked on their faces they were not happy about what they were talking about.

“Hey guys what’s with the grim looked in your faces?” Alexi asked as Jaime came closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

“Well we have some bad news.” Taylor started to said when all of the sudden Mike cut him off by hitting him on the back of the head. “Ow. What was that for?”

“Dude, don’t tell them.”

“Why not? They have a right to now. Especially Lena.”

Now I was confused. They were talking about me.

“What’s going on?” I asked looking at them and they all looked so guilty so secretive. I turned to looked at Chris who was standing on my right. “Chris.” I said waiting for an answer as I looked up at him. He looked so uneasy of all of the sudden.

“Lena…” he started to said but Taylor cut him off.

“Drew’s parents are bailing him out today.”

I feel goose pumps at the mention of the name. A shiver of cold fear ran through my body. I bring my arms around me as I tried to control my breathing. It wasn’t fair. Why will they let him out?

I feel arms reaching around me and pulling me close to warm body. I looked up finding Chris looking down at me with a concern looked on his face. I lay my head against his chest. Jesus Christ, what was going to happened now?

“Everything is going to be okay, Lena. I promise. I am here.” He whisper softly in my ear.
I feel myself getting calm immediately at the sound of his voice but I couldn’t help but wonder will it be okay?