Out Of Time

The rest of the week past within a blink of an eye and suddenly it was Saturday morning. I didn’t see much of Chris since he was still a little sick and came on Fridays at least that’s what Nicole told me. I had to admit I was happy to hear it since over the last two days I was looking for some sign of him to see how he was.

I was currently sitting on my bed reading the rest of the play The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet wearing blue pants that reach up to my knees with a white shirt. But to be honest that was five minutes ago as I was now looking down at the last pictures I ever took with Chris at the mall last weekend. It has been exactly three days. Three days that has been over. Three days since our last kiss. Somehow I couldn’t help but smile as I remember his lips touching mine.

Flashback

“Lena, I…”

“I…have to go to class…your mom will come by to pick you up soon.” I said breaking the hold and started to walk away. I didn’t feel him move but he must have because the next thing I knew I was back on his arms.

“Please…don’t go…” he whisper as he lay on his forehead on mine. His hands holding my face in place.

“Chris…”

“Don’t go…” he whisper once again looking down at me then slowly without hesitating his lips touch mine.

I feel like I was in heaven at the sudden touch of his lips on mine. He hold me in place not wanting to give me an opportunity to pull away or to push him away. His mouth open on mine and I feel myself melting on his arms.

End of Flashback

It was a touch from heaven. All Chris’s kiss always remind as if I was in heaven floating on a cloud and everything around us always seem to fade away. It all disappear and it was always just the two of us.

“Lena.” Alexi’s voice cried out pulling me away from my thoughts.

I blink my eyes to find her standing at the doorway with her arms cross in front of her chest wearing short jeans with a black shirt with a “What are you doing?” look with her school bag over one shoulder.

“Oh hey Alexi.” I said smiling at the sight of her. “Ready to start.” I added after a few seconds of an awkward silence.

“What were you doing?” she asked me casually as if nothing happened and walking toward me.

“Waiting for you.”

“You were smiling a minute ago. Were you thinking of a certain someone?” she asked putting her book bag by my feet.

“Nope.”

“Liar.” She said taking the pictures that were on my book and showing them to me.

“It’s nothing, Alexi.” I said standing up taking the pictures back and put them back on the drawer where I took them out earlier.

“It’s not nothing, Lena. You need to get over this guy. He play and mess around with your feelings.” She said as I feel the spot of my heart wince in pain.

I turn around to face her laying myself against the close drawer. “I know that. Okay. There is no need to repeat it over and over.”

“Do you know that, Lena? You have been thinking about him since he came to find you sick and you took him to the nurse office. And for the rest of the week you were still looking for some sign of him to see if he was okay.” She said what I already knew.

I breathe out telling myself to calm down otherwise I was going to be the one yelling at her in tears. I blink my tears away as I look at her. She look so lost in a thought.

“Did something happened between you and Chris at the nurse office?” she ask all of the sudden looking at me.

My eyes widened in surprise. How could she know that? But then again she was Alexi my best friend. Of course, she knew something happened.

“Yes. We…” I said shaking my head as I tried to think on how to tell her.

“We…” she repeated waiting for me to continue.

“We kiss, okay. Actually he kiss me first but then I…I tried to resist but I couldn’t.” I said honestly. “I didn’t pull away for a moment. I actually find myself melting on his arms like I always do when he kisses me.” I added blushing not wanting to lie to her.

“Ah. I can’t believe what I am hearing.” Alexi said pulling her long bangs away from her face as she sit down on my bed in front of me. “I am getting headache. Lena, he is trying to mess with your mind so you could go back to him and he finish the bet once and for all. Once he finishes the bet it’s done. Is that what you want?”

I found myself trembling and in tears as she reminded of the bet, the bet that started my first relationship, the lie that actually begun my relationship with him in the first place.

“Oh sweetie, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” Alexi said feeling bad as she tried to reach toward me. She pulled me into her arms and hug me offering comfort.

I hug her back trying to fade away the pain that was rolling up and down my body like an ocean wave with no ending.

“I am so sorry.” She whisper to me as my body started to shake at the reminded pain.
Minutes later I found myself sitting on my bed with a small size of cookie dough ice cream that Alexi bought with a plastic spoon as Alexi eat her Rocky Road ice cream. Alexi sat next to me in silence.

“You are right. I need to get over Chris.” I said breaking the silence looking at her. “I just don’t know how. I don’t know how at all.” I added honestly cleaning away the tears that were still falling down my eyes.

“Lucky for you I am here to help.” Alexi said patting me on my leg and getting up then walk out of the room. In matter of two minutes she came back with a medium size brown box. “To get over Chris, you need to throw away every memory that includes him. For example this…” she said pulling my medium size white bear with plastic blue eyes that was next sitting next to me. It was a gift from Chris on our two month anniversary. We went to build a bear workshop and I build one like the prince of shining armor and it even had a plastic cotton sword on the left side of his pants because it fit with his last name Knight which was the name of the bear.

“But I love this bear.” I said taking it in my hands and holding tighter against my chest. “You can’t take Knight away from me.”

“Do you hear yourself? Wait a minute you name the bear Knight.” She said confused for a moment and I rolled my eyes at her as I show her the bear once more. “Well that explains why you name him that. But it’s still a memory of him with his last name.” she add taking the bear away and put it on the box. Suddenly I feel crying again as I caught a glimpse of Knight inside the box all alone.

“Let’s see what else.” Alexi said looking around then her eyes widened on the bedside drawer. She walked toward it and pick up the picture frame of Chris with my brother’s dogs.

“But…” I started to protest again and she turn around to rolled her scary eyes at me. “Okay.”

I sit back down on my bed feeling defeated as Alexi walked around the room taking away every memory of Chris and me. Even the blue jacket that belong to Chris that didn’t fit him anymore and he gave it to me in order to keep him in mind and for me to stay warm while I did.

“Okay. Let’s see I have the pictures, the stupid knight bear…” she started to said looking down at the box in front of her that was sitting on the desk chair.

“He is not stupid.” I said feeling defensive.

“Okay, he is not. I had to admit. He is kind of cute.” She said picking it up looking at it more closely with a smile on her face.

“He is mine.”

“I know.” She said putting it back and then continues with the list. “And Chris’s jacket, is there anything else I am missing that includes Chris’s memories.” She said with a serious expression looking at me as I sat on my bed.

“Not that I know of.” I said then it hit me all of the sudden. The necklaces of the angel around my neck, I bring my knees together hoping to shield it from her. I put my head in them humming looking at her.

“Are you sure?” she asked me curiously looking at me more closely.

“I am sure.” I said hoping to sound honest since I have never lie to Alexi in my entire life. Best friends don’t lie and I don’t know why was I doing it now with the necklaces but I didn’t want it in a box that have more precious memories of me and Chris. “Alexi, could I ask you something?”

“Sure. What’s up?” she said as she close up the box.

“Are you going to throw that away or something?” I asked looking at the box feeling sad that the memories were been sealing away.

“No. I am just putting them away until you get over him. Who knows maybe one day you can look back at this stuff and wonder why you kept it in the first place.” She said opening a red market and label in her neat handwriting “Memories of C.K.” then lifted up and open the closet and put it in the top shelf away out of my eye vision and reach. She closes the closet and turn to look at me.

“Is there anything else I should know on how to get over Chris?” I asked wanting to know half afraid of what was coming and half hurt knowing that somehow that I needed to go through it. I needed too. I need to forget about Chris.

“Well, you should definitely delete his number from your cell phone.” She said reaching out for my phone and flip it open. “Hmm, great more pictures of you and Chris.”

“Wait, don’t delete those. I will delete them on my own.” I said stepping out my bed and walking toward her and hold out my hand. “On my own time and when I am ready.”
She eyed me carefully and handed back the phone.

“Thank you.” I said honestly and flip the phone close.

“You welcome.” She said walking toward and my bed taking the ice cream with her spoon and started to eat again. “You think I am been mean aren’t you?”

I walked toward her. “What makes you think that?”

“Making you to put away all the memories of your first relationship.” She said feeling guilty about it.

I lay my head down on the pillow next to hers then look closely at her.

“I don’t think you are mean, Alexi. I think you are trying to help.” I said honestly and smile at her. Then I reach for my ice cream and continue to eat it.

***
I tasted heaven as I close my eyes loving the taste of Chocolate Chip ice cream as I sat on the kitchen table with a small size bucket in front of me.

“Wow, go easy on the ice cream, bro.” Matt said teasing me as he came into the kitchen walking toward the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water.

I stood quiet as I continue to eat the ice cream. Matt look at me with a weird expression on his face.

“What?” I asked wanting to know.

“Nothing it’s just I didn’t know you like cookie dough ice cream.” He said opening the cap of
the bottle and then drink some of it.

“I do now.”

“I am guessing it was a Lena’s thing.” He said with a smirk on his face that I suddenly feel like punching it.

I look down at the ice cream. Oh crap. He was right. It was a Lena’s thing. I suddenly remember that this was her favorite ice cream and the one I used to buy for her when we went out once in awhile at the mall. I put the spoon back on the ice cream and shove it away.

“What’s the matter? Did I hit a nerve or something?” he said taking the ice cream and started to eat it. “Umm, this is good.” He said after the first taste.

I suddenly regret it. I regret pushing the ice cream away instead of finishing it as I watch my stupid brother eat it for me. So what if it was a Lena’s thing? It was still ice cream. My new favorite ice cream and he was eating it away.

“So what really happened between you and Lena? Mom told me you guys break up.” He said as he continue to eat my ice cream, my delicious ice cream.

“She break up with me.” I corrected scratching the itchy spot over my heart again.

“Wow, the player got burn.” He said laughing as he was still eating the ice cream.

“Shut up.” I said angrily at him.

I stand up from the chair and walked away.

“Hey Chris, I didn’t mean any of that, bro. Why don’t you tell me what happened? Who knows maybe I can help?” he said following me as I headed to my room.

“There is no need for help. It’s over.” I said through my teeth containing my anger towards him.

I walked into my room and step in front of the radio and press play to whatever CD was on CD player in low volume then I walked back to my desk chair where my computer was on with books spread out on my desk. I hate doing late homework assignments but at least my teachers were understanding and assign me all the work that I have missed over the last two days I was sick before making appearance on Friday.

“You seriously don’t want any help in getting Lena back whatsoever.” His annoying voice said making me jump on my chair.

“No. I don’t want any help. Now will you please leave so I can work.” I said looking back at him tired of hearing him talk already.

“Gee, somebody is cranky. Fine I’ll leave.” He said and walked out of my room.
Thank you I thought in the deep silence.

“Wait I forgot to ask you something.” His voice said coming into my room again and I shook my head instantly there was simply no escaping.

“What is it?” I said as I turn back to my work picking up my pencil with my left hand and started to write the math problems I was working on before I went downstairs to eat some ice cream as a break.

“Since you don’t want her back and you are probably already over her, can I date her in about one or two months. You know just to give her time to get over you and all.” He said with a serious tone but I knew he have to be joking or teasing me about it.

I turn around to face him and the look of his face told me he was dead serious. Suddenly I feel fire underneath my skin at the thought of him and Lena.

“No, you can’t have her. Okay. Whatever happened to I will never date your ex girlfriends Chris. Lena is an ex girlfriend, my ex girlfriend so no. No you can’t date her.” I said angrily at him as I stand up on my chair.

Suddenly he started laughing. Wait a minute, did he just trick me to get a reaction out of me or something?

“I am just messing you with you, man. I will never date Lena but I love the look of your face just now. Priceless.” He said as he continues to laugh.

“Get out.” I said as I walked toward my door and shove him out. I lock my door and breathe out trying to calm myself.

I couldn’t believe it that he had trick me. Trick me into telling him something I know I shouldn’t. God how I hate him.

“Shit.” I whisper angrily to myself as I literally hit my head with the door behind me welcoming the pain that shot right through my head. I close my eyes tightly shut ignoring it.

Flashback from Chapter 3

“No more yesterday talk okay. Let’s just think about today.” I said turning around to face her as we both continue to walk looking at each other.

“Okay.”

“Good.”I said and swing her around in circles on the steps of the fountain holding her by the waist.

“Chris, what are you doing?” She cried out in surprise and I started to laugh. Then after a few more seconds she said “Please stop I am getting dizzy.” I did comply with her request and help her to her feet.

I hold her close to me as I look down at her with an expression on my face but I was most definitely smiling at her. She reach up and touch my face gently as I close my eyes moving my face against her hand that was soft and gentle.

End of flashback

I open my eyes feeling myself breathless at the sudden memory that came without warning. I bring my hands up to my face and press them hard against my skull wanting to get rid of it. I wanted to get rid of every memory. But all they did is come alive once I close my eyes or dream at night. It was killing me. They were killing me.

“Get out of my head.” I said yelling angrily at them and at her as I slide myself down to the floor. I hold back the stupid tears that were gathering on my eyes. “Just leave.” I whisper to them once again. Stupid Matt, why did he have to and bring Lena up in conservation. I had been doing fine in not thinking about her. Now this happened.

I breathe in and out slowly trying to calm myself down. Two minutes later, after looking around the room my eyes found a medium size brown bear that I keep in my bookshelf looking at me. I walked toward it in an impulse and pick it up in my hands. It was dressed like an angel. It was my present for our two month anniversary with Lena when we went to Build Bear Workshop at the mall and we both build a bear that represent each other. I stare at the plastic brown eyes looking back at me and pinch its little black nose as I smile. I bring it up to my face and as the soft fur traces my chin as I remember that day. I remember that day perfectly and how she convinced me to go with her.

Flashback

I hold on to Lena’s hand as we walked around the mall. Her hand was small and soft but it fit together with mine perfectly.

“Ooo, let‘s go to build a bear workshop?”she asked looking excited all of the sudden.

“Are you serious?” I asked rolling my eyes at her.

She laugh but was serious that much I knew.

“Yes, I am. Please…pretty please…” she said looking at me as we stop walking still holding
hands.

I look down at her as her big beautiful brown eyes locked into mine.

“No.” I said teasing her with a smile.

“Yes.”She said smiling back at me.

“Why do I get out of it? If I go with you why do I get out of it?” I asked leaning forward laying
my forehead against hers.

Without a word or warning she peck me on the lips softly as I reach with my left hand to move her hair back while kissing her back. After a few seconds, “Okay. We’ll go.” I said giving in. There was always something that clicks when Lena’s lips touch mine, something I couldn’t explain.

“Yay.” She said happily with a smile then she reach up and kiss my cheek softly.

I let her drag me to the store and then we went our separate ways. I made my way through the store trying to think what I should do in the first place. After asking for some help I made a bear that look like an Angel while thinking of Lena’s face.

“Hey.” Her voice said from behind me as I struggle with the halo on the head of the bear. I turned around to face her. “What you think? Does it look like you or what?”she add asking me showing me a white bear dressed like a prince in shining armor.

“Hmm. So I am a prince.” I asked wanting to know.

“No. You are a Knight, my knight in shining armor.” She said putting her arms around my neck.

“Hmm. Do you like mine? It kind of remind of you.” I said showing her my master piece.

“Aww. How cute.” She said looking at the bear with a big smile on her face as her eyes glow
in happiness. “Why did it remind you of me?” she asked looking back at me.

“I don’t know. An angel seems more fitting for you. You are angel. My angel.” I said without thinking looking down at her.

“I am your angel and you are my knight.” She said and then reach up to kiss the tip of my nose as I smile at the gesture. “Chris, I adore you.” She add honestly and I couldn’t think much less breathe at her confession.

I shook my head not knowing what to said. “I…I think that we should head out. I am getting kind of hungry.” I said brushing off the meaning of her words.

She nodded shaking her head pulling away from me looking down at the bear of her hands.
I looked at it too.

“How about you keep Knight and I keep angel so that way when we are apart you can think of me and I think of you.” I said reaching up with a finger and put her chin up in order for her to look at me in the eyes.

She smiles at me showing her irresistible dimples on both sides of her cheeks. “Sounds fair.”

“Good.” I said then kiss her on the cheek.

End of Flashback

“Chris, I adore you.” Her voice resounds on the back of my head as I looked down at the bear. It didn’t matter to me then why I never answer anything back to her but why now my heart was aching, aching on not saying anything that moment. Oh Jesus Christ, was I falling for Lena now that she break up with me? That can’t be. It can’t be. “Please don’t. Please don’t even think about it.” I said to myself over and over but somewhere my heart was telling me that I was lying and I wasn’t listening to it. Maybe I should to see the answer or maybe I already knew the answer but I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want to know. I walked back to my desk with bear on hand and sit down. I put the bear in front of me and continue where I left off hoping that it takes my mind of the sudden thoughts and even feelings that were flowing through me.

“I do adore you, Lena.” I found myself whispering as I continue my work knowing that much was true. But been in love and adoring someone were very completely different things. Wasn’t it? Somehow I couldn’t help but smile as Lena’s voice resound on my head once again. “Chris, I adore you.”