Within Temptation

Journal Entry 2

August 23, 2011

Dear Diary,

It’s has been a week that school has started. A week that I have talk to him in order to get to know him but for some reason I already feel like I do know him which is strange since I have only meet him a few weeks ago. There is something about him that keeps pulling me into him so deep inside. I don’t know how if that’s possible. But Reed Burnside does not seem like the ordinary teenage guy that most guys at school tried to be. He is different. His eyes are so captivating and so familiar that I keep seeing them in my dreams. A dream of where a man rescues me in the accident where my parents died. I keep trying to looked for a face to figure out who he is but nothing his face is always hidden away in the dark. I also keep seeing the little girl and how she looked. She looked relief. I looked relief because I know that little girl it’s me. I looked relief that the person found me. Did I know that person? Did that person knew who I was? Did it know really who I am? There a lot of things that I wish I could remember. Things I wish I could know about myself. I can’t even stop dreaming. It comes out of nowhere. First the dizziness, the headaches, then the dream comes alive on my mind and when I woke up I feel better as if I didn’t feel bad at all in the first place? This can’t be normal. Is it.

I close my diary and ran my fingers through the soft cover then click close my pen as I breathe out. I open the top drawer on the nightstand next to my bed and put the diary inside. I close it and I step out of the bed. I walked toward my window and looked up at the never ending dark night sky as the stars started to shine like diamonds.

I breathe out as I started to think that nothing in my life has been normal since my birthday. Since the day I met Reed at the graveyard. The dreams came out of nowhere. Reed came out of nowhere. The night air came through my window as I hear the sound of a distant owl. I looked outside and stare at the shape of a person next to the tree in front of my house. I leaned closely to get a better looked.

“Something wrong, sweetie?” My father’s voice asked coming into the room and I jump in surprise as I feel my heart went through my throat feeling afraid of been caught off guard. I turned to looked at my dad with a hand on my chest who was looking at me with a concern expression on his face. I breathe out.

“It’s nothing, dad. You just happened to scare me.” I said honestly then turned and looked once more and the shape was gone. I close the window then started to walked back to my bed.

“Really.”

“Yes, really.” I said smiling while looking at him.

“So how is school?” he asked after a minute of silence and I sit down on the bed.

“It’s going great.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.” He said then kiss the top of my head as normally father gesture and walked away.

“Good night, dad.” I said as he close the door and I lay back on my bed staring into piece.

****

The next day I walked down the stairs and went to the kitchen.

“Morning dad.” I said as I walked toward the cabinet and pulled out the cereal box along with a bowl then took a spoon from the dishwasher which were already clean.

“Morning.” He said as he pour his cup of coffee.

As I pour the cereal into box I stare down at the newspaper in front of me, the headline read “Another women murder, Unexplained cause of death.”

I reach for it and read the headline once again. Suddenly our voices echoing on the back of my head came out of the blue.

Flashback

I couldn’t help but stare at the two of them. They were so mysterious and Reed’s eyes were so hard to describe that a shiver pass through my body.

“You are not afraid of me, are you Hayley?” he said leaning toward me looking closely at me. His search mine and somehow I notice they looked familiar. More familiar than I ever thought possible.

“No, I am not afraid of you.”

He smile at that then move back stealing another French fried out of my plate.

“Good.” He said with his sexy smirk. “Because I don’t want you to be.”

End of flashback

Dizziness surge through my head and I took a hold of the kitchen counter in order of put myself together. What did that happened? Why did I even remember that now all of the sudden?

“Everything okay.” my father asked looking at me closely.

“Yeah, I am fine. Just been weird.” I said smiling at him then handed the newspaper to him and then started to eat my breakfast.

“Another one?” my father said looking at the newspaper standing next to me.
I frowned at that confused. “What do you mean another one?”

“Well, this has been going on over 3 weeks now. It’s the six women that the police have found dead without knowing a cause of death.” He said truthfully looking into my eyes. “I want you to be careful around here. At least until the police finds out what’s going on.”

“I will, dad.” I said honestly.

“Promise.” He said rolling his eyes looking at me.

“I promise.” I said truthfully.

After I park my car in the school parking lot, I sit there breathing out telling myself that I was been silly if I started to panic now. The word unexplained appear on my mind again and I shrugged it off.

“Boo.”

I scream and jump out of sit then back into it. My heart stared to beat at a faster rate as I turned my head and found Daren laughing his butt off.

“Will you please don’t do that ever again?” I said as I pick my book bag from the passenger sit and step out of the car and close the door behind me and hit him softly on the chest.

“Why? You were hilarious.” He said with a triumph smile on his face.

“Yeah, well it wasn’t that funny.” I said walking toward the school building along side of him.

“Oh come on. You know it was.” He said putting an arm around my shoulder. I reach for it and pulled it away from me and turned to looked at him face to face.

He gave me a sad puppy looked with his lips pucker. I smile at that. I had to admit he looked kind of cute.

“Good morning, Hayley.” His voice said sending my heart to stop then to accelerate faster than the normal rate. I turned to looked at him and smile happily at the sight of him.

“Hi Reed, how are you?” I asked as he stood there a few feet away from me and Daren.

“Good, you?” he asked while looking at me up and down. I was wearing blue jeans, with a white shirt and black converse sneakers.

“Good.” I said feeling myself smiling as I continue to looked at him.

“I am good too.” Tori’s voice said walking toward us. She stop and put her arms around Reed’s arm and lay her head against it. “Hi Hayley.” She said with a smile on her face.

“Hi Tori.” I said politely then I watch Reed move her arm from around him giving her a looked of hatred. He leaned closer toward her and said “Don’t you have something else to do.”
Tori looked at him for a minute blink her eyes then turned and walked away without looking back like she has been doing for the past week. Which it was weird and not normal at all.
Reed turned his head and looked at me then smile at me. Then he slip his black sunglasses shielding his eyes from mine.

The bell ring and I walked to class with Daren as Reed walked toward his a few feet away in front of us.

Classes pass like a breeze today. Half of my mind was wondering what was killing those women that the police couldn’t find any evidence about what cause it in the first place. The other half was focusing on Reed for some reason. I started to think about how his grey blue eyes looked at me every time I met them. How he is? How I met him in the first place? How he seems to be so cold with everyone around but me?

I walked into the lunchroom and walked along side of Melanie to our usual table and sit down. I looked around me and everyone was so into what they were doing? Ever since Reed told the jock to leave me alone no one bother me ever since which to be honest I was very grateful.

“What’s with the looked in your face?” Reed asked as he sit down across me as usual and as usual no lunch tray for him.

“She has been like this all day and I am beginning to get worry.” Melanie confess.
Reed’s eyes turned from her to me. “Want to talk about what’s bugging you?”

“It’s nothing.” I said breaking eye contact with him looking down at my lunch.

“Then what’s with the frown on your face?” he asked leaning closer to me.

“I am just worry that’s all. Have you guys read the newspaper lately?”

“Oh yeah, poor women. I keep wondering what might have cause it? I mean unexplained death sounds so awful and horrible.” Melanie said and I nodded at that. Then Melanie’s eye study my face carefully.

“Bad dream last night again, Hales?”

“No.”

She give me the looked that said “If you don’t tell me I am going to beat you up till I get it out of you.”

“Kind of but nothing to talk about really. It’s the same thing over and over.” I said honestly.

“You have been having dreams?” Reed asked slowly wanting to know looking at me with a curiously looked on his eyes.

“Everybody has dreams, Reed.”

“Not everybody.” He said in a honest tone that made think about what does he dream about at night?

“Well hello there gorgeous.” Daren said in flirty tone as he took right chair next to mine.

“Why do you flirt with me all the time?” I asked wanting to know honestly.

“Because I need amusement in my life and you do just fine.” He said with a goofy smile on his face. “Besides we are all friends here. So it’s normal that I get to pick on you all the time.”

I nodded in understatement. Then as everybody started joking and laughing with one another my mind wonder off again.

On my last class of the day which was art, I stare down at the blank piece of paper in front of me for endless minutes then reach for the pencil next to me and started to draw the trees of that night. The dark sky then the wind and last the little girl standing there looking lost.

“Well that doesn’t look anything defining who you are.” A voice said interrupting me.

I looked up at the voice that pulled me away from the trance I was under.

“Sorry, Mr. Fallows… I was just…” I started to explain then the bell ring. I started to gather my stuff together.

“I am going to have to ask you to stay, Ms. Nichols.” He said as the students started to walked out of the classroom.

After the classroom was empty, Mr. Fallows close the door behind me and walked toward his desk as I stood right in front of it.

“Ms. Nichols, is there something I should know?” he asked in a fatherly tone voice.

I shook my head not knowing what to said. “No, there is nothing.”

“I have known you since you came first here in 9th grade, Hayley. You are a amazing and most inspiring artist. I never seen you fail at anything. But what’s happening now? What’s distracting you?” he said and I fall down on the chair behind me feeling defeated.

“I…I have been struggling to know who I am this year. I don’t know who I am. It’s unexplainable because I don’t remember anything from my real parents.” I started to blurt out without even thinking but then as tears started to fall down my eyes I knew it was the truth. I was feeling lost. I have been feeling lost for a long time. “I just wish I could know one day know the truth.”

After a moment of silence and staring at one another Mr. Fallows asked me “Why do you think you don’t remember anything, Hayley?

“I don’t know. I don’t remember. Not matter how hard I try, I just can’t remember anything. It was like the wind of that cold night erase everything from me.”

“Seems to me that’s something you need to find out. Because defining who you are it’s knowing who you really are way deep down inside.” He said then smile at something that occur to him. “Why don’t you take it as homework assignment and then turn it in tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Mr. Fallows.” I said putting my sketchbook into my book bag and smile then walked out of the classroom into the empty hallway.

I walked out the school building and into the parking lot looking around finding it empty. I breathe out feeling relief then jump feeling startle as my cell phone started ringing. I looked inside my book bag and pulled out dropping it into the floor as my hand started to shake. I looked at the caller ID.

“Hi Melanie.” I said into the phone standing there.

“Hi girl, where are you? I looked for you around the parking lot but you weren’t there.” she said.

“I am sorry. It just Mr. Fallows wanted to talk about my work.” I said cleaning my tears away.

“Already.” She said surprise.

“It’s not like that. It’s different. Anyway I am going to go home now. I call you tonight okay.”

“Okay and you better call me tonight.”

“I will bye.” I said and flip my cell phone close. I breathe and bend down and put my stuff inside my book bag that fell out.

Suddenly I hear his sound before I even saw him showing up. I looked up and find the crow that has been following me around for the past week. There was something about the bird and the way he keep looking at me was just pure weird.

I stand up picking up my book bag. I looked at the bird once more as I feel started myself to shake but it was so weird because I wasn’t cold.

“Calm down, Hayley. Just calm down.” I told myself over and over as I started to breathe in and out. My heart rate started to beat normal again as I took another deep breathe. “Calm down.” I said feeling myself getting clam. I walked toward my car with shaky legs and lay against it.

“What it’s happening to me?” I asked myself out loud.

Flashback

“Help….me…” she said in a shaky voice not been able to move. “Please help…me…” she
said once more feeling dizzy from the loss of blood.

His eyes search over her as if he was deciding to help her or not then he reach out with his hand and took a hold of her. Slowly and gently he pulled her out of the sit and pulled her out of the car.

She looked up at him as he carry her in his arms looking down at her. She found herself smiling at him as she recognize him or at least she feel like she know him, like she know him deep inside her heart. She put her small fragile arms around his neck feeling safe.

End of flashback

“Who are you?” I asked wanting to know who he was. How did he manage to safe my life and then just out of nowhere left me to wonder off? “Who I am?”

Something that I couldn’t explain or even remember happened to me that night. I just couldn’t remember what it was or what it had to do with me. But I wanted to know. I wanted to know who I am. I wanted to know the unexplainable of what happened to me that night.