Undying Love

For the next couple days Kristine and I got a lot of school work done. We also received letters from the college that we interviewed for. We both got in with full scholarships and we got permission to live off campus as freshman. They sent a list of classes and we started signing up for them. We also spent a lot of time with the girls and making sure that Ella is doing okay. Dr. Chase had called to say that Ella needed to come in for blood tests every three weeks.
Friday night we sat watching a movie. The girls were sitting on a blanket on the floor and Kristine and I sat on the couch. I was rubbing her stomach trying to get her tense body to relax and also trying to be closer to the baby.
“Mikal, just stop it.” She snapped at me, standing up and storming from the room. I stared after her shocked.
“Kristine!” I called after her. “Are you okay?” The girls looked at me; I smiled at them and then went after Kristine. I ran upstairs and found her sobbing into her pillow. “Honey, what’s wrong?” I went over and hugged her to me.
“I can’t do this. I just can’t. I can’t watch my daughter fight cancer at nine months. I can’t have another baby. I can’t be a teenage mother and a teenage wife and still be expected to go to school. I just can’t be that person anymore. I love our girls and our baby but I can’t do it anymore.”
“What are you saying Kristine?”
“I’m saying that after this baby is born I’m going to stay at my parent’s house and I don’t know if I’m coming back.” I froze. “I talked to my parents already and they said it was okay for me to come home. I love you Mikal, but I’m not ready to do this.”
“I’m not ready either Kristine, but this isn’t something that you can just walk away from. If you decide that you aren’t coming back what are you going to do about the kids?”
“I won’t come back. Soon enough they’ll forget about me.”
“But I won’t. I’m never going to stop loving you. You say you love us but you’re going to leave anyway. That isn’t love Kristine. You and I both agreed to be the best parents we can and we knew this was going to be hard.”
“I don’t want my daughter to have cancer. I don’t want any of this; I just want to go to college and not be a teen mother who can’t do her homework because of her own children.”
“You are not the only one going through that. I can’t do my homework because of the girls but I am not going to abandon them.”
She flinched. “I’ve made my decision. Nothing you say is going to change my mind.” She got up and walked out of the room. I sat there for a minute processing what just happened. I grabbed a couple blankets out of the closet and my pillows off the bed and put them in the spare room where the new baby was going to live. I set my bed up and went back to grab the baby monitors. If she didn’t want to be a mother then she can just stop. I went back downstairs to see her playing with the girls.
“You don’t need to worry about being a mother and a wife anymore. I’m sleeping in the new nursery and the baby monitors are going to be with me. All you need to worry about is staying healthy. I also don’t think it would be a good idea for you to go to Ella’s chemo anymore.” I said monotone.
“Do you want me to move out now and call you when the baby comes and when the appointments are?”
“That is your decision; I’m just trying to make you happy.”
“I’ll call my parents and see what they say. I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“Fine.” I walked over and picked up the girls. “Dinner time little girls.” I walked into the kitchen and set them in their highchairs. I was almost finished making their food when Kristine walked in.
“My dad is on his way over; I’m just going to pack my things.”
I didn’t look up at her I just sat down and started feeding the girls. “Okay. Did you want the bed back since it was yours to begin with?”
“No, they have a twin size I’ll be sleeping in.”
“Okay.” I smiled at the girls, “You guys are so good.” I heard Kristine go upstairs and start getting her things together.