Undying Love

I walked back inside and finished feeding the girls. I took them outside and played with them on the deck. They climbed on me and I held them and made sure they didn’t fall. We stayed outside for about an hour before I took them inside and gave them both baths. I got them in their pajamas and took them downstairs. I sat in the rocking chair with them and they quickly fell asleep. I laid them down in their beds and locked up the house before going to bed myself.
I looked at the family picture we had taken after the girls were born. Kristine looked so happy; I don’t know what went wrong. She had seemed fine, we were happy. Ella was accepting the chemo and radiation; the doctor said she is doing better than most. I finally fell asleep and dreamed about how I’m going to raise my girls by myself.
***The Next Morning***

I got up early and showered. I checked on the girls before going downstairs with my laptop. I set it on the kitchen table and quickly made a bowl of cereal. As I ate I opened my laptop and started on an assignment. I was able to work on my homework for about two and a half hours before the girls woke up. I brought them downstairs in the pajamas and fed them. I gave them both a handful of Cheerios while I washed the dishes. I looked at the calendar. It’s only Saturday. I looked at the clock, 10:45. I had to get Ella to her appointment by noon. I pulled Amara out of her high chair and took her upstairs changing her clothes. I put her in a light purple skirt and a t-shirt that reads, ‘daddy’s angel’, I put a jean jacket on over it. I grabbed her diaper bag and set her back in her high chair. I dressed Ella in a pink skirt with the same shirt and jacket and grabbed her diaper bag. I put her back in her high chair and packed some fruits and vegetables for snacks because the appointment is during their lunch. I put a baggie in each of their bags.
I grabbed both diaper bags and took them out to the car. I set them back in the passenger seat and went back to get the girls. Since Ella could walk I held her hand and carried Amara. We went slowly but we got to the car. I put Amara in her car seat while Ella stood by my side. I picked her up before closing the door and walking around and buckling her up. I kissed her forehead and closed the door.
I put in their CD as I drove to the hospital. They started ‘talking’ to each other and me. Every once in a while they laughed. I smiled every time I glanced back at them in my rearview mirror. I pulled in a parking lot two blocks from the hospital. I pulled the stroller out of the back before getting the girls out. I put Amara in the back and Ella in front. I put the sun visor up and put a hat on Ella’s head.
Ella carried the stuffed animal we kept in the car for her. She usually held it through her chemo. Amara reached up and took Ella’s hat. Ella screamed and the people on the street looked at us. I stopped walking and squat down next to the stroller. “Amara, you don’t take your sister’s hat. That isn’t nice.” I took the hat from her and put back on Ella’s head. I pulled Amara’s hat out of her diaper bag and put it on her head. I started walking again. I quickly walked into the hospital and up to the third floor. In the hallway on the way to Dr. Chase’s office we passed Laura, Ella’s chemo nurse.
“Hi, there Ella, how are you feeling today?” she asked. Ella smiled at her. “I didn’t know you had a sister.” Laura looked up at me. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s sleeping less but her sister sleeps the same amount of time as her sister. She isn’t getting sick and she’s eating so I guess she’s okay.”
“That’s good. I saw she has chemo next Wednesday. I’m working that day again. I’ll see if I can be her nurse. I’m a little attached.” I looked at her. “I know, not really professional but she’s adorable. So is her sister. They’re twins right?”
“Yup. That’s Amara in the back. I hope that you are Ella’s nurse. She really likes you. I’d better get her down to Dr. Chase’s office. They’re running blood tests today. They want to make sure that everything is alright and that she has enough strength for chemo on Wednesday.”
“Okay, well I hope she’s doing well and I’ll see you on Wednesday.”
“See you then.” I started down the hall again. When I got to the office I sat down and pulled Ella out of the stroller. I sat her down on my lap and pulled the sun visor back so Amara could see around. We only sat there for a few minutes before Dr. Chase walked out. I stood up and put Ella back in the stroller.
“How is everyone today?” she asked shaking my hand.
“We’re pretty good. Ella’s on the same sleeping schedule as her sister and they usually sleep the same amount of time. She doesn’t eat as much but she still eats a good amount.”
“That’s good,” she nodded. “Who is this little girl in the back?”
“This is Ella’s sister Amara.” I sat down and pulled Ella into my lap again. “Ella, Amara can you guys say ‘hi’ to Dr. Chase.” Ella smiled and waved before sitting back into me and snuggling into my chest. I had my arm wrapped around her stomach. Amara sat there and watched her.
“Hi girls, where’s Mama?”
“Um, Kristine, uh, left. She said she didn’t want to go through this anymore. So she left the girls to me and went to stay with her parents.”
“Sorry if I sound intrusive, but isn’t she pregnant?”
“Yeah, she’s going to call me when she has an appointment and then I’ll be taking the baby home from the hospital while she’s going back to her parents. She probably just got stressed out. It’s just better to give her space but she gets really anxious when she’s away from the girls. So we’ll see.”
“Well, today we’ll be drawing blood today to check her white blood cell count and depending on what her numbers are we’ll decide whether or not we’ll do radiation.” I nodded and she continued. “I also have your blood test back.” She paused before going on. “We’ll draw Ella’s blood first so you’ll be able to get the girls some lunch.”
“Sounds good.” I looked down at Ella and smiled when I saw that she was asleep. “This should be somewhat easy, until she wakes up anyway.” I gently shifted her into a laying position on my arm. I sighed.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine I just haven’t held her like this in almost five months. It reminds me of when she was a newborn.” She nodded.
Ella slept through the entire thing. We had to sit and wait for the results. I pulled Amara out of the back of the stroller and put her on the ground. I put Ella in the back of the stroller and laid the seat down. I’m so glad we got a stroller that can have the seats lay down. I pulled out Amara’s toys so she could play on the ground. Dr. Chase walked in a few minutes later and Amara abandoned her toys and crawled to me. She crawled up my leg and held onto my leg. She started fussing and I pulled her snack out of her bag. I sat her down in between my legs and opened the bag for her. She ignored the doctor and ate her snack quietly.
“So, Mikal, you’re blood test came back and you have one small problem.” She paused.
“Is my leukemia back?” I whispered.
“No, it’s not but you do have Type 1 diabetes.” I gasped.