Undying Love

I finally got home around 12:30 and I checked on the girls who were sleeping in their rooms and I found Kelsey on the couch in the living room. I carefully picked her up and carried her upstairs to my room. I lay her on the bed and then changed into some pajama pants and took my shirt off before crawling into bed with her. I set my phone alarm for 5:30 not knowing how much time she would need. I lay on my side facing her and quickly falling asleep.
I groaned as my phone started vibrating, bringing me out of my sleep. I rolled over and turned it off and rolling over to face Kelsey. I gently shook her and kissed her forehead. “Hey Kelsey, it’s time to get up. You’ve got to go to school today.” She groaned and rolled into me burying her face in my chest. I sat her up and she moaned.
“Mikal, I don’t want to get up.” She finally opened her eyes. “What time is it?”
“5:30, I wasn’t sure how much time you would need to get ready.”
“Thank you, I’d better get over to my place and get ready.” She stood up and started walking out of the room.
“Are you sure you can drive?” I asked her quietly as we passed the girls’ room.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just live two houses down but my parents don’t like me walking.” She turned and kissed my cheek. “Congratulations Mikal. I’m glad that Jordan is healthy.” She smiled at me and I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her gently on the lips.
“Thank you and make sure that you get a lot of rest. You’ll need your strength for the spinal tap.”
“I’ll be by this afternoon to help you with Jordan and the girls.” She told me and giggled as she walked out the door. I rolled my eyes at her and shut the door. I went back upstairs and collapsed on my bed.
I opened my eyes and groaned when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said my voice hoarse from sleep, not even bothering to check who it was.
“Mikal, they’re ready to release Jordan.” Kristine’s voice said. I sat straight up.
“Okay, I just need to get the girls up and then I’ll be there.” I threw a shirt over my head and went into Ella’s room. I picked her up and held her.
“Okay, see you in a few.” The line disconnected and I put my phone in my pocket. I grabbed her diaper bag before going to get Amara and her diaper bag. I carefully put them in the car and drove to the hospital. I put them in the stroller and gave them both a small package of Cheerios. They started eating and I took them into Kristine’s room. Kristine didn’t acknowledge them until they saw her and then she waved. She handed me the papers and I signed them. Kristine had already put Jordan in his car seat, so as soon as the doctor verified the papers I took the girls out of the stroller and put his car seat on top and had the girls trailing behind me. They held onto the stroller when we were in the parking lot and I put them in the car moving Ella to the back so Jordan could sit up front for easy retrieval. I climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. I drove to Biggby and got a coffee for myself and two whipped cream cups for the girls. They didn’t need the sugar but they were being so good.
Once I pulled into the garage I shut the door and unbuckled the girls. They ran inside the house as I walked in with Jordan. I found the girls in the living room playing. I took Jordan upstairs and put him in his crib since he was sleeping soundly. I took the baby monitor downstairs and sat down on the floor to play with the girls.
“Oh, shit.” I jumped up and grabbed the bag Kristine had given me with the breast milk in it for Jordan. I put the milk in the fridge and went back to the girls. We sat playing on the floor for a few hours before Jordan woke up. I went and picked him up, heading for the kitchen to warm up his bottle. I wrote down the time he was eating and put it on the fridge. I sat down in the living room and watched him eat, keeping an eye on the girls. It didn’t take long for him to finish so I pulled a blanket out of the box of his stuff and lay it wide on the floor. I put him down and lay on my stomach next to him. We played on the floor until he fell asleep and I wrapped him in the blanket and put him on the boppy.
The pattern continued until Kelsey walked in the door. She walked over and kissed me on the cheek before hugging the girls and kissing Jordan on the forehead. As she walked by me I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my lap.
“I thought I told you to take it easy?” I asked her darkly.
“You did, but I decided not to listen. I’ll be fine and I’m not missing any more time than I need to with all three of these kids.”
I kissed her cheek. “I knew you were going to come. I just like giving you a hard time. You take me so seriously.” I laughed.
“How do you know I’m not acting?” She smirked at me. I shook my head and looked at the girls. “Have they had a nap yet?”
“No, I’ve been trying to get Amara to warm up to Jordan when he’s awake. I’ve also just been having fun spending the day with my girls and my son.”
“Have they had lunch?”
“Yes, I’m not totally mean.” I mocked her.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m going to lay them down since they are both asleep on the floor.” I looked over at them. I stood up and we both picked one of the girls up, carrying them upstairs and laying them down. “What about Jordan?”
“Well we are hanging out downstairs so he is going to sleep downstairs; after I feed him for the night, I’ll lay him down upstairs.”
“That makes sense. So what do you want to do while they’re all asleep?”
I looked at her smiled tiredly. “This is usually when I’d lay down on the couch and sleep. After we brought the girls home we learned to sleep whenever we could.”
“I thought you lived with her parents after the twins were born.”
“We did but they didn’t really help us when it came to laying them down, or waking up with them. They didn’t really help except when they were on bottles and we were thinking of moving out. I know why they did it too. I wouldn’t be able to handle Jordan by myself without their help.” She nodded and looked across the room as Jordan squirmed before crying. She walked over and picked him up. She held him close bouncing him as she walked back to me. Jordan looked up and cried harder because he didn’t know her. She looked at me and I took him. I made sure he saw my face and he instantly started calming down so he was just whimpering. I felt his diaper before setting him on the floor and changing him. I pulled him back into my arms and rocked him. He lay in my arms and stared up at me. After a few minutes I decided that he wasn’t going back to sleep. I sat him up against my chest making sure that his head didn’t drop back.
“Jordan, this is Kelsey. She is going to take care of you when Daddy goes back to work.”
She smiled at him. “Hey there Jordan.” I smiled at her as Jordan ignored her.
“Hey, Kelse, don’t forget that he’s just a baby. And a two day old baby at that.” She nodded.
“I’m going to make some hot chocolate.” She left the room quickly and I sighed. I placed Jordan on the floor with some toys and went after her.
“Kelsey?” She was hunched over the sink and her body was shaking. I wrapped my arms around her and brought her into my chest. She wrapped her arms around my waist and sobbed. I stood there letting her get it out. There was more to this than Jordan not warming up to her. I could feel it, there was something seriously bothering her. When she calmed down I led her over to the table and sat down with her. “What’s bothering you, Sweetie?”
“I’m scared.” She whispered.
“About what? Jordan not liking you, yet. He’s just a baby and you’ll be the one who is helping me with him. He’ll warm up to you, I know he will.”
“I know, but what if I can’t be the mother he needs. Kristine is his mother, she always will be. What if you decide that you’d rather be with her, if she decides to come back into your lives again? You’ll dump me to the side because she is the mother of your children and I’m just your girlfriend and on top of all that I have a spinal tap tomorrow and I’m scared to death my cancer is going to come back. Mikal I’m freaking out, please say something.” She finally finished.
I wrapped her into my arms again. “I’m not going to leave you for Kristine. If I know Kristine then she won’t ever come back. Do I still love her? Yes, but she left me once she could leave me again and personally just between you and me, I kind of like this hot sixteen year old who has been watching my kids.” She laughed and I smiled. “As for your cancer, I don’t know whether or not it will come back, but no matter what happens I’m going to be at your side. You will not be alone. I promise.” She looked up at me and I leaned down to kiss her. She pulled away when Jordan started crying.
“Go get him, I should go anyway. My mom wants me home early so I can finish my homework and get to bed earlier than usual.”
“Good. I’m glad you listen to somebody. I love you Kelsey. I know it’s soon but I really do.” We stood up and walked to the door.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to say it back yet.” I nodded and smiled at her.
“Just one second. Stay.” I ordered and she laughed. I ran into the living room and picked Jordan up and ran back out to her. “It’s okay, take all the time you need to say it. I don’t work for the next couple weeks so feel free to come over when you like.”
“Thank you. Don’t forget to check your blood sugar.” She told me walking out the door. I waved and shut the door and putting Jordan to sleep.