Church On Sunday

"So… You all set?" Mike asks nervously, as he closed the trunk of the BMW. He was helping me pack up some of my things so I could move in with Tre.

"Yeah, I guess." I sigh, raking a hand through my tangled hair.

I look up at the house that we all shared- Adrienne, Joe, Jake and I…my eyes linger at the bikes and toys strewn on the front lawn. It seemed different now. The house was empty, as Adie had taken the kids out straight from Mike’s. I figured she was trying to make this slightly easier. As if me being gone was gonna be easy on them! But it was my call.

I had made my choice. I was leaving home. I had to leave the hurricane of fucking lies, that I had created.

I slid into the car beside Mike, and lit a cigarette as he started the engine. I watched him from the corner of my eye. His jaw tensed then slackened again, the frustration creased his brow. He only did that when he wanted to say something. I wound the window down and felt a light breeze move across my face as I flicked the butt out.

"What, Mike? You've been dying to say something, so just do it." I'm fiddling with the radio settings on the stereo, patiently waiting for him to speak. Some song, Elton John, I think, comes on. I turn the radio off again, and go back to looking out the open window.

“You look like shit.” He says.

“Well, ripping someone’s heart out with a hangover is the new ’in’ thing Mike.” I reply curtly.
There’s silence for a minute and then he looks at me; "I just hope you know what your doing, Bill. I mean, we all thought… I thought Adie was the one. But Tre? Dude, you gotta give me time to wrap my head round this."

"Wrap your head around what? I fell in love Tre. And he fell in love with me, Mike." I spit out. I'm frustrated now, drumming my fingers on my denim-clad thigh.

"Ok fine, but its not all black and white is it?! What about Joe? And Jake? For fucks sake, Bill! And what about the band? Hmm? Thinking about that while your cock was in Tre's mouth, huh?" He voice is slightly raised, and I can see him looking from me to road in front of us.

"Michael, I don’t like your tone. And actually, it was when Tre’s dick was in my ass.” I deadpan. Mike’s face is a fucking picture, so I carry on, my tone more serious;

“And you know, I'm trying to figure this out as I go. Fuck…it's not easy for me either. I love my kids- I don’t wanna hurt 'em like this. It wasn’t meant to end up this way, but I love him." My voice is quivering as I sink into the leather seat, tilting my head back, when I feel the tears begin to prickle my eyelids. “It’s not us 13 years ago; being drunk and giving eachother head, dude. It’s more than that now.”

Mike's featured softens, his grip on the steering wheel relaxes, "You said you loved Adrienne too…" He says quietly. "You can't just throw that away."

"I know and I'm sorry it went like this, but me and Adie were over way before now. We both knew it. As for the band, I'm pretty sure you knew something was up with me and Tre." I wipe away a stray tear, smearing the little eyeliner I had left from the previous day. “It shouldn’t have to change a thing.”

"Of course it does! It changes everything. Look Bill, I love you and I love Tre…you’re my best friends, my brothers. But I love Adie too, and I just want things to work out. More so for the kids, than anything else. They're what’s important right now." His voice is firm now, almost like a schoolteacher telling me off for being tardy… Tardy? Who the fuck says that?

"I know, and I'm gonna do my best to try and fix things for them; for all of us, I promise Mike."

"I hope so, I really fucking hope so." With that, the car slows to a halt out side my new home.