Stand A Little Too Tall, Say A Little Too Much

Alex dreamt about all sorts of different scenarios between him and Justine making the whole dream overall a jigsaw puzzle that didn’t fit together with different pieces from all different jigsaw puzzles. It didn’t make sense at all. Justine was in hospital and had wires and bandages all over her. She was bleeding loads and Alex couldn’t do anything about it. He had blood all over his top but he didn’t care about that, he just wanted to make sure that she was going to make it through. As he went to kiss her lips before they took her into surgery, she stopped him and said, “I thought you were better off without me.” then the nurse came in and helped Alex out of the room. He remembered seeing her eyes glinting with tears as she went off into surgery.

Alex was abruptly woken up from his dream by a few shuffles and mumbles from the girl below that he was holding in his arms.

**BACK TO JUSTINE’S POINT OF VIEW**

During my half-sleep state, I remember someone putting their arm around me and grabbing my hand. I remember also a while after being punched a little but I thought it was all part of my dream considering I had dreamt about seeing Berated live. Now though, I grumbled and shuffled around and felt someone against me. I slowly woke up from my sleep and took in my surroundings. I then remembered I was in Alex’s ‘secret place’ and that the person against me was Alex. Except the fact I was more or less held into his chest. He smelt so good. He always smelt good. Definitely the smell I wouldn’t mind waking up to in the morning.

I looked up at Alex and he was in a sleepy state too. I cupped my hands round his chin and pressed my nose against his. I really did feel some sort of special bond between us.

“Hey sleepy.” He said after a few minutes.
“Hey,” I replied back, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too baby. Did you sleep well?”
“Ish. I remember being punched a little and someone grabbing my hand or something.”
“Oh sorry. That was probably my fault, I did have a pretty weird dream.”
“Ah, mine was cool. I saw Berated live so I guess I didn’t wake up cos I thought it was that. Hmm.”
“Aw. Mine was about you.” He blushed slightly.
“What happened?”
“You were in hospital and your blood was all over me. I went to kiss you before you had surgery but you stopped me and said you thought I was better off without you.”
“Ooh. Not so pleasant then?”
“Not really, aha. But I’m glad I have you here in my arms.”
I pressed my head into his chest a little more and blushed slightly.
“Sorry I was so long by the way. You were asleep in your knees when I got back.”
“Really? I can’t remember falling asleep like that.”
“Yeah and your eyes were really red and puffy so I thought you’d been crying a lot.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off.
“Anyway, come here you. Whatever happened to you, it’s never gonna happen to you again. I promise. You don’t need to tell me what happened, but I will do everything to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
I didn’t say anything for a few minutes but stared at the end of the bench as Alex hugged me closer. I felt so safe in his arms and I thought maybe it would be better if he knew about what happened.
“Alex…”
“Yes?”
“What happened between me and Josh was-”
“Hey. You don’t have to tell me if it upsets you. I don’t like seeing you cry knowing there’s not much I can do about it.”
“I’ll tell you. I’m not that upset over it anymore.”
He didn’t say anything but just kissed my hair and squeezed my hand.
“Just after you left me, Josh came over and told me his mother had gone into hospital. I let him in the house because he was a mess and I didn’t want to leave him like that knowing he could go out and get himself killed.”
Alex squeezed my hand tighter and I squeezed back.
“We went upstairs to my bedroom and he tried to kiss me. I pushed him off immediately. I didn’t expect him to do that at all considering the circumstances. He said that if I wanted him to, he’d leave but stupidly I said no and told him there was a mattress in my cupboard he could use. Little did I know what he was gonna do. When I was asleep, he’d obviously got into my bed and got on top of me. He stirred me a little and I thought it was you. He started to feel me up and edged towards my pajama bottoms. At this point, I knew it wasn’t you and the figure changed into Josh; his voice and his appearance. At that point I forced him off me with more power than I thought and then I remember him hissing at me, ‘I could put money on the table and bet that if your so called ‘boyfriend’ Alex did this to you, you’d let him all over you and you wouldn’t be whining then. Would you? You slut!’ and that’s the point where I kicked him out of my house and then became a complete mess on the floor.”
I looked up and I could see Alex’s face slowly growing more aggressive.
“This morning, my mum saw me crying and I had to run out of the house before she could get me. I fell down the stairs in the process of running out the house which is why I have these god damn bruises,” I felt them with my fingers once again and winced at the pain. “I legged it all the way to school and that’s the reason why I’d collapsed against that wall. I felt like I couldn’t breathe at all.”
“How are you now?”
“I’m fine now. Except for my bruises and my memory being scarred for life.”
“Baby, this will never happen to you again. I mean it.”
“You can’t protect me from everything Alex. It’s not your fault he did this. He’s probably just jealous the fact that I like you.”
I realized what I had said and then looked away from Alex. He cupped his hands around my chin and brought my face up to his. He kissed my forehead and then got up off the bench with me still in his arms. He put me back down on the bench and I knew he was off again.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll explain it to you all later, Justine. Some things need to be settled right now.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. My voice started to raise several pitches higher and I sounded like a squeaking monkey, “Alex. Don’t leave me again.”
“I have to. I honestly won’t be long.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
“Look, I have to go.” He started walking towards the exit of his secret place and I couldn’t help but feel like I was partially losing him. This time I wasn’t going to stand my ground, no matter what he said.

I ran up behind Alex and grabbed his hands before he had time to notice that I’d caught up with him. I spun him around and he looked at me confused. Before he could turn and run away now, I took my hands out of his, put them under his chin and pressed my lips to his. He responded back and I gently started to move him back into our secret place.