Forbidden

Wonderland turned out to be a small cafe' on the outskirts of Hexington's grounds. Asher and I sat on the patio, sipping Irish cream coffee that he had bought. Asher had grabbed his laptop from his room and had it out in front of us. We were sitting side by side, nearly touching.

"We have two option," Asher said, running a hand through his black hair. He opened a blank document on his laptop and tilted the screen so I can see better. "You can sit here and mope about your problems, or we can do something else." I turned my eyes on him, telling him that I was listening. "Whenever I was depressed or troubled I used to write. That was my escape from the world. It seems to me what you are dealing with is more than petty problems. How about we write a story together?"

I don't think I could have loved him any more than I did right then. He just showed me his amazingly sensitive side. I didn't think that the boy who used to kick dirt into my face would be so kind. It nearly sent me into shock. It was a surprise. A very nice surprise.

"I'd like to write a story with you," I told him shyly. I had never done this sort of thing before. I was never a good writer. I would try, but my words never came out right on paper. This was going to be a new experience for me.

Asher grinned widely and patted my shoulder. "I was hoping you'd say that, Lee. I've never written with a girl. So this will be interesting for both of us. Shall I start?" I nodded and he typed a few words. He sat back in his chair to let me read his words.

[i[Once upon a time...

I thought for a moment about what I could say. There were many things I wanted to say. So many things. But this wasn't the time nor the place. I might be able to...

I bent my fingers and placed them on the keyboard, loving the typing sounds I made as I wrote. That was my favorite part of writing. The sounds of a type writer and keyboard. I was nervous. I was scared. What if he read it and hated it?

Once upon a time I was a boy.

Asher read it and turned his brilliant eyes in me. "Hm? Interesting. Let's keep going."

I used to be teased by everyone.

But then I took three white pills.

They were magical.

They turned me into a girl.

Everything about me changed.

I used to be known as Porcelain.

My skin was the color of cream and paste.

I was gay from the age of thirteen. I was in love with my best friend. He moved away long ago. I thought that maybe turning into the girl might help me be with this boy.

I was wrong. My best friend was...

Asher shook his head and turned to me. "I'm not sure what to write. Give me an idea, Lee. This wasn't the type of story I expected you to start."

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. "It isn't my turn, Asher. Ask someone else."

Asher stood up and walked over to an elderly couple at the table next to us. "Excuse me, Mrs., Mr. My friend and I are writing a story and I am stuck. Can you help me finish a sentence?"

The old woman with white hair nodded her head. "Oh course, sonny. Of course."

"My best friend was..."

"a daisy," the elderly woman finished.

Asher thanked her and returned to the table. With an eager expression on his face he began writing again.

...was a daisy. Which could only mean that he gay. I couldn't be with him as a girl. I couldn't date him. I couldn't love him openly. I was stuck.

Whenever I think of my best friend I remember the day on the beach. We were thirteen. It was the day he told me he was moving. We lay there on the sand, watching the sun set. Dad had just taken a picture of us, the one I have hung in my room. The water touched our toes, tickling our feet. We played the cloud game. Guessing the shape of the clouds.

We had one moment of peace where we faced each other. I turned to him and said "Let's make tonight last forever." I didn't want him to go. But what could I do? I was hope less. The man I loved was leaving me. This was no longer a fun trip to the beach. This was our goodbye."

Three little pills make by Mr. Mill. I took them and became Har-Lee. Three little pills reunited me with Asher. But now I can never say...

"I love you."