House of Lost Minds

Promise... horrible... pills.... promise... nurse... mother... promise.

My thoughts were circling around in my head, growing louder each time they circled. I promised Rayne that I wouldn't take the pills... I said I wouldn't for her babies but I need them. I crave them. I can feel myself wanting them more and more as the time went by.

The nurse had been in. I hadn't taken them. She left them with me with a small smile on her face.

They're across the room in the little pot. Facing me. Taunting me.

I was trying... fuck.... trying, trying for Rayne. Yes, I was. Trying.

But I need them...

I can do this, I don't need them. I didn't need them before so why would I need them now? I promised Rayne, I did. And she's my best friend. I don't want to break my promise to her?

She doesn't have to know...

I covered my ears as if that would stop my thoughts from taunting me. I promised and I wasn't going to go back on what I promised. I couldn't and I shouldn't.

I'm addicted...

The door opened and I knew that the motherly nurse was here again. She would see that I hadn't taken the pills and maybe she'd stop giving me them. I hope not

I watched as she looked at them before coming over to where I was crouched. Feeling my forehead, she then started stroking my hair. "Are you feeling okay Elerna? You haven't touched your pills," she cooed.

Suffocating... suffocate.... me.

"No, no, no, no, no pills. Bad, bad, bad pills," I mumbled out, barely making sense to myself but somehow making sense to her.

"They're not bad pills Elerna. I treat you like my own daughter, why would I give you bad pills?" she asked, soothing me with her voice.

She right... no bad pills because she cares. Right?

"Nice... mother... good... pills?" I didn't make sense again but once again it seemed like she understood me.

"Yes Elerna, it's like I'm your mother. Because where is your real mother?"

She's... she's... gone? Dead

"Dead," I whisper out.

"And who killed her?"

Rayne NO! I can't do this... can I? I shouldn't do this. "She did..."

"Who did Elerna?"

"Rayne."

No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Exactly. I'm your nice mother now and I wouldn't give you bad pills. Not now and not ever. You can trust me."

So convincing. Convincing, so much. She is. Convincing.

The pills were in her hand and she was offering them. She was nice... she was a nice mother nurse... I could trust her.

She gave me a reassuring smile as I reached out and took them. And I did something that I didn't think I would do in the presence of a nurse.

I smiled as I swallowed the pills.

The nice, nice pills.