House of Lost Minds

They gave me back my drugs. Only, they upped them.

Not only am I getting drugged up to my eyeballs but on top of that I'm also getting extra pills on top of it.

It makes me feel invincible, loose and free.

Although it's steadily making me lose thought of my past. Sometimes I struggle just to remember if I have any siblings or not. I'm at a loss with their names and ages and everything like that, but I know I have siblings.

It's either two sisters and a brother or two brothers and a sister. I'm not too sure.

I know that – Rayne is it? - has a sister....no wait, it could be a brother. Isn't it something like Ana...or Angie...Avie....Avo...I don't know, only that it begins with an A.

I think.

Almost certain though....I think.

To be honest, I don't really care thought. I prefer just laying here, on my bed, and just gaze. At what, I do not know.

It's better than remembering......something....the past.....anything.

I don't think there's anyone else I should be remembering; there's a faint thought of someone else, he's male. I don't know who he is, what his name is or what he looks like, just, he's there.

Somewhere.

Don't really care though.

It feels like this is all I've known, that whatever life I had before can't compare to this life. Because I just feel soo.....asleep.

It feels like I should be feeling dead, but I'm not, just asleep.

Such a nice feeling, feeling asleep.

Zzz......Zzzz.......Zzzzz..........Zzzzzzzz........

Time to sleep, time to forget.

Time to not care. Time to just be here, and not be here.

Time to just submit to the way they want me to be here; limp, lifeless and drug-craving.

They want me screaming during the days, begging to get my medication and then they like watching me as I lose my mind when they deny me it.

It's like....they're controlling my emotions and what I feel. And I like that.

Because I like not being able to feel.

Or remember.