Don't Give Up

After four days of driving between ten and thirteen hours, we finally arrive at our new house on the fifth day in the early afternoon. I had seen pictures of it, but now in real life it looks so much bigger... It's painted brick red, with olive green and snow white trim, and has large windows. It has a well kept front lawn, with flowers lining the path up the house, and two large trees that provide a lot of shade, with some branches short enough to put a swing. In the back I know there's a rather large backyard, with a patio and a few trees.

"Damn... The house is actually pretty nice," I say, scratching the back of my head.

"Damn, house is purty!" Chris giggles, clapping his hands before Mom could say anything to me.

"Violet, watch your language!" She scolds, scooping my brother into her arms.

"It's always nice to start a new chapter in life with laughter," I say smiling, but not without hypocrisy. During the four day car ride, in the time not spent sleeping I was either moping or crying while texting my friends whenever there was signal.

"Come on, let's go inside," Dad says, trying to avoid a fight. We walk up to our new house, where the boxes and large pieces of furniture are the only decoration. There's the basement with it's own bathroom, the first floor there's a small bathroom, the living room, kitchen and dining room. Upstairs, there are three regular bedrooms, one master bedroom and a bathroom and finally the attic.

"So all of this for the same price as our house back in San Francisco?" Katie asks excitedly as we finish the tour.

"Honey, you know how your father feels about talking about money!" Mom says, a frown on her face.

I bite back a laugh, but Katie asked the question that I was wondering myself. For the same price, back in San Fran, we had a three bedroom (one of them was a master), one bathroom, kitchen, living room, dining room, no front yard and a really small backyard. If nine hundred thousand is worth this much in Jersey, then I wonder how much twenty dollars of weed is worth...

"Alright kids, go to your rooms and start to unpack your stuff, and remember that at five we have to leave to go to your uncle's house, okay?"

Katie and Mom walk away, but I stop Dad, shifting my feet slightly.

"Um Dad... Remember what we talked about when you were showing us the pictures of the house...?"

"Of course Vi, how could I forget?" His warm blue eyes are brightened with a smile, and I can't help but smiling myself. "Well, we're going to have to wait until we're settled down, and since winters over here aren't the same as back in San Francisco, we need to make sure the basement has the proper insulation and everything, we wouldn't want you to freeze no, would we?" He ruffles my hair, and I giggle, then he walks downstairs to go help Mom.

I walk into my room with somewhat of a strut, and am impressed at how the movers put everything; the furniture of the room is set up almost exactly like my old room, with the bed directly to the left of the door, a bedside table next to it, bookshelf between the two windows of the left wall, CD rack and desk against the wall opposite the door, and my dresser against the right wall. The only difference that I make from my old room is that there's a walk-in closet, which makes me pretty happy.

All my clothes are put away, my bed is made, and I'm about to put my more than one hundred CDs away when Mom yells that we're going to leave in ten minutes for Uncle Kevin's. I sigh, get a clean pair of black shorts from Vans and a white off the shoulder t-shirt, then make my way to the bathroom that Katie and I would have to share. I kick her out, tie my hair into a bun, and go under the shower for a quick rinse to get the dirt and sweat off my body. Ten minutes later I'm ready, with my trusty pair of high top checkered Vans, and we walk down the block to my uncle's.


"Hey, it's the family!" Kevin is his usual jubilant self, a kind figure to look at. Tall, muscular arms from his years of daily weightlifting, and if you took the grey out of his hair, you wouldn't think that he was a day over thirty. He hugs us all and his warm blue eyes identical to my dad's are full of joy, but I can't help feeling some hatred for him. He's the reason that I had to move away from all my friends.

"Come on inside, Alicia is starting to make dinner. I'm sure that she'll appreciate your amazing cooking skills Elise," he adds an extra compliment to my mother as we go inside.

In the kitchen my aunt is chopping up vegetables, and a gentle smile appears on her face when we walk in. Like her husband, she hugs all of us, and gushes over how us kids have grown so much since Christmas, but she fusses especially over Christofer, who laughs as Alicia kisses and coos over him.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" My uncle slaps his forehead, then tells us that he'll be back in a minute. He returns with a smile on his face and holding three neon colored bags.

"Presents for the kids," he smiles, handing them to us. I sit down on a chair next to the island, and carefully take out a Polaroid and a Helga, along with film.

"Those are the real things," my aunt says smiling. "Your father said that you're into photography, so we thought that you want to experiment with the real cameras instead of using all those photo editing applications."

"Oh my god... Wow... I don't know what to say..." I examine the cameras, smiling like an idiot. Man, Alex would be so jealous!

Alex... He hasn't sent me a text or called yet...

"You don't have to say anything," he smiles, snapping me out of my thoughts. "As long as you're happy it's good."

"TWAINS!" Christofer shrieks, clapping his hands. Everyone turns to him, and a huge smile is on his chubby little toddler face as he's surrounded by a couple of train sets. Katie is holding a couple of shirts from the newest Abercrombie collection, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, what's all the noi- Oh, hi Uncle Anthony, Aunt Elise!" my cousin Emily appears in the doorway, and I groan inwardly. Perfect tan, platinum blond hair, clear, blue eyes, tall, skinny, and everything a guy could want. Another girl is next to her, slightly taller but just as perfect looking as Emily. Just like her parents before her, she hugs us, but behind the fake smile I see hate directed towards me.

"Aww is this your baby cousin that you talked to me about?" her friends asks, looking at Chris, who looks back curiously.

"Yep!" Emily smiles widely. "By the way, Mel, this is my Uncle Anthony, my Aunt Sara, baby cousin Christofer, Katie and my older cousin Violet. Guys, this is my best friend Melissa."

"It's very nice to meet you," Mom smiles, extending her hand, which Melissa shakes.

"Emily darling, why don't you and Melissa take Violet up to your room while we make dinner?" her father asks, draping an arm around his wife.

"Of course Dad!" she fake beams. "Come on Vi."

We walk up to her room, whose walls are painted a light pink with green trim. Several posters of boy bands and pop stars cover the wall, along with pictures of friends and family. I sit down on her spinning chair while she and Melissa sit down on the queen sized bed. Emily looks me up and down, a frown on her face.

"Well, your fashion sense seems to have slightly improved. Not top notch or runway worthy, but slightly better. I bet your attitude hasn't changed though at all, am I right?"

"Em, my friends were kidding around! I don't see why you're so bitter about that!" I say, referencing to the time where my friends drenched me and her in ice cold water that they added red dye to.

"I was wearing a new white Juicy Couture tshirt! How do you expect me not to be pissed off about that?" she doesn't leave me the time to throw back a reply, and continues on. "anyway, let me give you a few tips-"

"You, give me tips?" I interrupt, laughing. "You're barely a sophomore!"

"I'm co-captain of the cheerleading team, and was on the student council last year. I won't even begin to tell you how many times I was on the front page of the school paper. As for you, I doubt that you were ever in the paper and of course you've never been in any clubs, so no one would know you. So shut up and listen to me."

I cross my arms and keep my mouth shut. She smiles with triumph, and exchanges a high five with Melissa.

"So, first thing first. Anyone asks, we are NOT related. Stay out of my way, which means stay out of the cheerleaders and sport teams' way. If you actually want to get friends, tweak your fashion sense and get a major attitude adjustment. Maybe lose a couple of pounds... Hm... If you ever decide that you want to change your life around though, I can help with that. Any questions?"

"Of course not cousin dearest," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Good! Now just do whatever you do and leave me and Mel alone. If our parents ask, we had a fun time looking through fashion magazines and giving each other beauty tips, alright?"


Dinner is a lively affair, but as usual I'm sitting quietly and eating the extravagant meal of roast beef, potatoes seasoned with rosemary and a salad with fresh squeezed lemonade. While my preppy cousin and her friend were talking about the different guys at their school, I was texting hazel and Alex, except the latter never replied. According to Hazel, he didn't seem much different than usual, just missing me like the others. I didn't mention the letter I wrote to him.

After helping clear the table after dessert, Melissa and Emily go up to her room, while Katie, Christofer, the fathers and mothers go to the patio, but I stop Mom before she goes out.

"Mom, I'm not feeling too well... Can I go home?"

She frowns, readjusting my little brother in her arms.

"Vi, I know you don't like Emily-"

"It's not that, I really do feel kind of sick..." I put my hand to my stomach, trying to put on a what I hoped appeared to be an at least tired look.

"Well, you do seem kind of pale... I guess you can go home... Do you remember how to get there?"

"Mom, it's right down the street, and it's red. I don't think it's really that hard to miss."

"Alright sweetie. Call me if you end up feeling worse."

"I will. Thanks."


I go in the house with the spare key Dad gave me, and make my way directly to the upstairs bathroom, taking an escape the fate t-shirt from the 2009 Warped Tour that had gotten me in trouble at school because the drummer Robert was pointing his middle finger, and some black booty shorts. I stay a long time under the cold water, taking my first real shower since before I left. Using my apple scented shampoo and body wash made me feel a lot more fresh after all the time spent in musty hotel beds and the stuffy SUV.

I crawl into bed, opening the window to let the cool night air into the stuffy room, taking my phone with me. Hazel hasn't replied to my text yet, and neither has Alex. I sigh, then begin to type another one to him.

Alex, you haven't replied back to my texts so im guessing you got the letter. im really sorry about what i wrote in there... But it can't work out if we're living on different ends on the country... i fucking love you, you're one of my best friends alex. please write back, i miss talking to you... :(

I wait forty five minutes before I give up, and write a text goodnight to Hazel, before falling into an uneasy slumber.

Third Person
Back in Berkeley, Alex takes a hit of his joint, looking at his phone and Violet's letter sadly. He blows the smoke out, thinking about their last night together. The kisses and caresses they exchanged were engraved in his mind, but seeing the letter tore him apart.

I really like you, but the world is shit... The world changes over time though, so in case when things are different and we still feel the same, maybe something can happen.
Even though I won't be there, I'll still support you with your music, you'll always be a rockstar in my eyes (:
I love you...

Well, if she did love him, why didn't she give the relationship a fucking chance?

He takes another hit, and thinks back to how he broke off their relationship. True, he had lied to her, not telling her that there was another girl. But they didn't go to the same school, and Lindsey had such a hot body, and of course his hormones... His fucking hormones.

"God dammit!" he mutters, burying his face in his hands. "I don't want to go back to that shit..." But he still takes his phone, but not to reply back to violet.

hey susie, i was wondering if you wanna go out sometime, maybe to the moraga commons or hippie hill if you're into it. text me back when you got an answer. alex.

Alex sets his phone on his bedside table, and buries the letter under a couple of old notebooks and a few books that he never read. He finishes the joint, and falls quickly asleep with a smile. He knows that Susie would say yes, he's her dealer and she's one of the many girls that chases him around.

Suddenly, Violet moving away doesn't seem so bad.