the Reveal
the diagnosis
After months of pills and appointments i was finally diagnossed! I was finally official bipolar! Now most people would not be happy about this but for me it is a new beginning, a clean slate and hopefully a better life. At first when I was diagnossed i was scared, I had read about bipolar disorder when they started testing me but how was I supposed to know what to do if my meds weren't right or the voices came back. Yes, the voices, the anoying voices I had heard everyday for the past 4 years, the voices that came with the horible houlisinations, the spiders and snakes, the melting walls and worst of all, that black floating figure at the end of my bed waiting, waiting to take me away from this life and never let me back. The tears i cried everynight when I woke up and saw that, would they be gone? Would I be able to sleep at all? Or would i go back to a week of sleeplessness at a time, stairing at the walls wishing, if only for and hour, for some sleep.