Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

After a busy week of shows, we found ourselves in Philadelphia with the next day off. I was excited about staying in a hotel and sleeping in a real bed, not to mention getting to take a shower without fear of running out of hot water.

I thought that when the show ended, Brian and I might spend the night together in our room. We hadn't had much alone time in the last week. However, as soon as the guys got off the stage, they started clamoring to go to a bar. It wasn't until we were outside, climbing onto the bus, that Brian turned to me and asked "Is that okay with you, baby?"

"Sure." I wasn't going to say no. Brian had been skipping nights out with the guys for the last couple of months to be with me and help plan the wedding. He deserved this.

Besides, I thought, a night out will be fun. I haven't had one in ages, either.

At the hotel, the guys simply rinsed off and changed clothes before loading into one of the crew's vans and heading for the nearest place that served copious amounts of alcohol. I decided I wanted the long hot shower I'd been deprived of for the last week. Brian and I agreed that he would text me the name of the bar they chose and I would call a cab.

I stayed in the shower so long that the water began to cool. Stepping out onto the slick tile floor, I savored the feeling of being really and truly clean for the first time in days.

I dried my hair, did my makeup, and put on a purple spaghetti-strapped top, skintight hip-hugging jeans, and a pair of sneakers. The cab arrived within twenty minutes of my call. I made sure I had my cell phone and my room key, then went down to the waiting car. I gave the driver the name of the bar.

The place the guys had found was actually within walking distance of the hotel. I shook my head and paid the driver. Inside, the guys were gathered around a pool table. Matt and Jimmy were actually playing; Johnny, Jason, and Matty were simply observing.

I frowned. Where the hell are Brian and Zee?

"Hey, guys," I said as I approached them.

"Hello, Sunshine!" Jimmy singsonged, bouncing forward to give me a hug.

No one else spoke. Matt was focusing way too intently on setting up his shot.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Aren't we missing a couple of people?"

Johnny, Jason, and Matty didn't even react. Matt and Jimmy exchanged a fleeting glance. My stomach started to hurt.

"Where's Brian?" I queried, surprised at how calm I sounded.

"We don't know," Matt replied. Jimmy pressed his lips together.

"Jimmy," I said.

Matt's eyes were fixed on Jimmy, obviously willing him to keep his mouth shut. Jimmy avoided my gaze.

"Where is he?" I demanded. "Damn it, Jimmy! He's with someone else, isn't he?"

"No," Jimmy said, a bit too quickly.

My eyes burning with tears, I looked at each of them in turn. Johnny was squirming uneasily with his beer cradled in his hands.

"Johnny." My voice came out soft. It wobbled slightly, but I didn't think they heard it. "Johnny, please, please." The first few tears spilled over. "Are you seriously going to sit there and cover for him while he does this to me?"

"He's not cheating on you," Johnny said.

"Then what's going on?"

"He and Zacky went to hang out with some...people."

"Who, Johnny? Who are they hanging out with?"

Johnny's eyes met mine briefly before falling to his beer bottle. "Those girls we met in Denver."

"He just walked over to a bar a couple of blocks away. He and Zack are giving them the thrill of their lives," Matt said. "They're coming right back. It's nothing, Jordan. Nothing! Brian didn't want you to walk in, see them, and automatically assume the worst."

"So instead, he went to a place where I can't see what he's doing and thought that would be better? How am I not supposed to assume the worst when he's hiding things from me?"

None of the guys said anything.

"In Atlanta, he climbed on the bus smelling like perfume," I recalled. "You want to explain that?"

Again, no one spoke.

"How many times has he gone to give a fan a thrill and expected y'all to help him cover it up? And y'all have to know it's not completely innocent because if it was, he wouldn't care if I knew about it. Which means that y'all are on his side. No one is on mine. None of you are willing to protect me, at least not from him. How far should friendship go? I know y'all are in a tough position, trapped between two friends, but...y'all know the difference in right and wrong." I shook my head, disgusted. "Y'all are pathetic. I'm so done with this." I stalked to the door and burst out onto the sidewalk.

In the time since I'd been dropped off by the cab, it had begun to rain. I didn't care; my steps never slowed. I fumbled with my engagement ring, sliding it off my finger and shoving it into the front pocket of my jeans. Brian would be getting it back.

"Jordan!"

Footsteps pounded on the pavement, but I ignored them. Until a hand closed around my arm. I spun around to find that it was Jimmy. I wrestled my arm free and stumbled back a few steps.

"It's over!" I shouted. The rain felt especially cold on my cheeks because of its contrast with the warmth of my steadily flowing tears.

"Jordan--"

"No! No more excuses, Jimmy! He's not ready to get married, not now that he's seeing what's out there and available to him."

"He's an idiot," Jimmy stated. "He has you. Fuck. If I had you..." he trailed off, and the only sound was the ceaseless pitter-patter of the rain. Jimmy and I stood there a few feet apart, gazing at each other through the downpour.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing," he muttered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Tell me," I said. "If you had me, you'd what?"

"Nothing," he insisted. "This isn't the time--"

"This is the only time!" I held up my hands, revealing that they were both ring-free. "I'm leaving, Jimmy. I'm going home, to Alabama."

Jimmy's eyes widened as if I'd just slapped him. "Because of this?"

"Because of everything! It got better for a while, but he was just lulling me into a false sense of security." I paused and somehow managed a small smile. "You were right. I needed to come on the road with y'all. I needed to see. Turns out I'm one of the girlfriends who can't take it. According to Matt, I let my suspicions control me." I hugged myself, soaked through and shivering. "So...I guess this is goodbye, for now. I love you, scientist."

I turned away from him, but his voice stopped me before I'd even gone two steps: "I would have told."

I glanced back, brow furrowed. "You would have told what?"

"That I was engaged. To you. I would have told everyone. And I would have had you on my arm at every meet and greet."

Fresh tears stung my eyes.

"You're amazing, Jordan," he went on. "I flirt and joke and tease, but most of the things I say are really how I feel. I love you. You light up my life. Didn't you ever wonder why I nicknamed you 'Sunshine'?"

I was crying in earnest now.

"I can't ask you to stay," he said. "If you stayed, you wouldn't really be staying for me. You want an excuse to stay, but you don't need another one. You love him, Jordan. That's the only reason you need."

"Jimmy--"

"Don't," he cut in. "Please. I don't want your sympathy." His eyes locked with mine. "Every word of his proposal was true. He's distracted by all this fame shit, but the way he feels about you is still there." Jimmy absentmindedly reached up and ruffled his wet hair, causing it to stick up in all directions. "Don't leave yet, okay? Just...sleep on it?"

I nodded, numb.

Jimmy flashed another small smile. "Good night, Sunshine."

"'Night." I watched him disappear back inside the bar, wondering if he was right about Brian, and thinking bitterly that Brian had been right about him.